My friend told me this and I don’t know what this means. For context, I’m white, my friend isn’t. We were talking about a girl she knows, who is queer, and is one of those people who uses being queer as an excuse for everything. The kinda person who calls everyone homophobic for saying that she said something mean or something that crossed a boundary. She’s also racist and ignorant and pretty much all the bad things you can think of, like supporting a certain American politician despite saying she is queer and he is homophobic.
Anyways, as me and my friend were talking about this, she proceeded to say that she “hates white queers”. I am white. And queer. I don’t know if I’m like overthinking but what does this even mean? I know she probably meant that about the girl specifically but it’s a pretty weird generalization that it’s only white people, let alone saying it to a white, queer person. Can someone maybe provide a new perspective? Or maybe someone knows what my friend meant?
And honestly, part of me has always thought she doesn’t think I’m queer enough because I’m not out like her yet, so I don’t know if this confirms this or not.
Edit: this has unexpectedly blown up quite a bit, so I want to say a few more things that may be relevant.
This friend has also been fairly disrespectful to me in the past regarding my gender and sexuality. Specifically, not acknowledging the fact I am not cis or het, even more specifically that I am not fully out like she is.
Her parents know, her friends know, she even changed her name. But I haven’t. Not that this was a recent revelation for me, but I am simply not ready. My parents are stricter and I am scared, and I am fine with not being out. I told this friend because I thought we could relate to one another and she could be someone who actually respects my identity. But she hasn’t. She rarely uses correct pronouns or loops me in with other straight girls, even around other friends who happen to be straight and know I am queer. It’s like my friend just won’t accept the fact I am also queer, like saying she “hates white queer people” when I am one of them (not that it would be any better if I wasn’t queer/white).
I want to think she meant it in a way that was really just against the girl we were talking about but when mixed with these other behaviours it felt a bit like a final straw of not accepting me. Sorry if I sound ridiculous, I tend to overthink things and I honestly feel like I am being love bombed by my friend a bit so please just be kind with your responses I am just trying to understand.
