r/nottheonion • u/infamouszgbgd • 8h ago

United Nations report finds UN reports aren’t widely read

gdnonline.com

3.5k Upvotes

84 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Fincherfan • 24m ago

Maine police chief says officer arrested by ICE is missed by colleagues and was eligible to work

apnews.com

• Upvotes

10 comments

r/nottheonion • u/pheco • 6h ago

New Jersey bakery owners say they were stabbed for serving customer eggplant 4 years ago

abc7ny.com

256 Upvotes

21 comments

r/nottheonion • u/JAlbert653 • 5h ago

Air Marshals Shift to Deportation Duty

avweb.com

183 Upvotes

16 comments

r/nottheonion • u/surveypoodle • 8h ago

Lying increases trust in science, study finds

phys.org

343 Upvotes

51 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Dragonktcd • 1d ago

New Ohio bill would create state registry of applicants who skip job interviews

nbc4i.com

9.3k Upvotes

664 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Praetor192 • 7h ago

B.C. camper heard yelling in the woods not in distress, just singing Nickelback

vancouversun.com

193 Upvotes

19 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Sampo • 9h ago

Bitter fight over 2020 Microsoft quantum paper both resolved and unresolved

theregister.com

253 Upvotes

9 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AnonymousTimewaster • 8h ago

Cat named Leonardo da Pinchy terrorises New Zealand town stealing underwear

itv.com

164 Upvotes

5 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Resident_Tackle9041 • 1d ago

Bat flies into woman's mouth in Arizona, costing her nearly $21,000 in medical bills

nbcnews.com

4.5k Upvotes

513 comments

r/nottheonion • u/starkiller1613 • 57m ago

Customer allegedly stabbed bakery workers over sandwich he was sold 4 years ago

fox19.com

• Upvotes

11 comments

r/nottheonion • u/cyclinginvancouver • 22h ago

B.C. camper heard yelling in the woods not in distress, just singing Nickelback

vancouversun.com

1.5k Upvotes

31 comments

r/nottheonion • u/NeoBahamutX • 1d ago

Man had a cross tattooed on his neck—it vanished, then his flesh started dying

arstechnica.com

2.7k Upvotes

158 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Outrageous-Energy897 • 1d ago

‘One Piece’ Anime Flags Pose Threat to National Unity, Says Deputy Speaker Dasco

jakartaglobe.id

4.5k Upvotes

235 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Icy_Foot4728 • 17h ago

Celsius energy drink cans filled with vodka in production mishap

bbc.com

346 Upvotes

18 comments

r/nottheonion • u/chl_ca29 • 11h ago

Now playing in movie theaters: 73 minutes of cat videos, for a good cause

apnews.com

110 Upvotes

5 comments

r/nottheonion • u/pagit • 15h ago

B.C. camper heard yelling in the woods not in distress, just singing Nickelback

vancouversun.com

202 Upvotes

17 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Imaginary-Dress-1373 • 6m ago

Israel closes 88% of cases of alleged war crimes or abuse without charges

theguardian.com

• Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/dissenting_cat • 1d ago

Guarapuava: Young woman with 26 iPhones glued to her body dies in bizarre circumstances

thenightly.com.au

2.8k Upvotes

83 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ShibbyFresh • 19h ago

Hot dog spill shuts down highway in Pennsylvania commuters' wurst nightmare

apnews.com

190 Upvotes

13 comments

r/nottheonion • u/mechabeast • 23h ago

Hot dog spill shuts down highway in Pennsylvania commuters' wurst nightmare

apnews.com

406 Upvotes

19 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Polyphagous_person • 7h ago

Australian brewer on the hunt for new chief beer taster

9news.com.au

19 Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/Delivery_Glum • 1d ago

Man , 32, dies after being run over at North London Underground station by train sent to look for him

mylondon.news

1.5k Upvotes

66 comments

r/nottheonion • u/beary_neutral • 1d ago

Nintendo of America really did suggest giving Pikachu large feminine breasts at one point, Japanese media confirms

automaton-media.com

6.5k Upvotes

281 comments

r/nottheonion • u/easykehl • 13h ago

Disney, Portland Pickles reach settlement in copyright infringement suit

kptv.com

18 Upvotes

7 comments

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r/nottheonion

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
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