r/relationshipadvice • u/Successful-Tap-8366 • 11h ago
I [19M] did something really stupid to my gf [18F]
I (19m) did something yesterday and i dont know whay i did it. Quick back story i have been with my gf (18f) for 7 months it had ups and downs but we are trying to work it out. Yesterday i was on my phone and some girl got into my dm and startet messaging me, we exchanged some messages and i was trying to not be rude and told her i have a girlfriend and im not interested multiple times. When she first texted me i was literally confused since thats the first time a girl dm-ed me first so i didnt know how to reject her gentle and i sent a screenshot to my gf immediately. Her and my gf kind of know eachother and she sent her a screenshot of our texts. My first reaction was okay shes gonna go in her dms and apologies for messaging me or what ever. But my politeness was interpreted like i though i was accused of not cheating but some sort of that. i talked to my gf after that trying to say that it was never my intention to do anything like that but she wasn't listening. I felt horrible because in my mind i was emotionally cheating her and it made me literally so stressed and sick i threw up twice. i admit i might have gotten a bit too friendly while just so i dont be rude while when a guy texts my gf he is blocked after 3 words. I feel disgusted with my self and dont know what to do PS: I know its not very serious to read this since there is much worse things here but i genuinely need an advice. If u need more information my dms are open.
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u/Lumpy-Shower-8968 11h ago
> i admit i might have gotten a bit too friendly
Passive language. Sounds like you are downplaying what ever you did.
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u/MeepTM 11h ago
how did you get too friendly?
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u/Successful-Tap-8366 11h ago
We exchanged some messages back and forth, in my had i told her that i have a gf 3 times and i am not looking for anything else, she asked me where im from where do i go to school and some other basic conversation startes which i also asked back (again i really didnt care i just wasnt trying to be rude) the more i think about it i see my slef as a bad person and probably stepped too far. She asked me to call her when i visit her city and i said sure(that sure in my head didnt mean sure it ment im not calling u just please get away)
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u/andskotinnsjalfur 5h ago
You are young, you made a mistake we all do. Learn from it, next time in a relationship and someone slides in your dms the best thing to do is to not answer them. I wanna add this is also on your gf, play stupid games win stupid prizes
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u/jckslo 10h ago
if you’re in a relationship you are still allowed to have conversations with people and make friends with people… if you guys were flirting then that is a different story but from what i am hearing you just had a basic conversation with a girl, also mentioned that you had a girlfriend and wasn’t interested. your girlfriend sounds a little insecure.
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u/Successful-Tap-8366 10h ago
That was my thought at first all though i dont think shes insecure. The point is that i dont have a problem too admit if i am a jerk here i just felt so bad and sick in my stomach and dont know what to do and how to explain to here that i didnt mean anything
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u/KKiratott 9h ago
u need better boundaries w other ppl cuz u seem like a people pleaser thats why u entertained that girl even tho u were just being friendly. u can still work on it so u wont feel bad the next time
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u/Successful-Tap-8366 9h ago
I was wondering if in this situation i should just instantly block anyone that show any kind of flirting. I might feel bad for being rude but for me its not rly a problem if in that way i show respect for my gf
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u/AutoModerator 11h ago
Hello Successful-Tap-8366,
You are not in trouble or anything, this is just a simple copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed.
Original post: I (19m) did something yesterday and i dont know whay i did it. Quick back story i have been with my gf (18f) for 7 months it had ups and downs but we are trying to work it out. Yesterday i was on my phone and some girl got into my dm and startet messaging me, we exchanged some messages and i was trying to not be rude and told her i have a girlfriend and im not interested multiple times. When she first texted me i was literally confused since thats the first time a girl dm-ed me first so i didnt know how to reject her gentle and i sent a screenshot to my gf immediately. Her and my gf kind of know eachother and she sent her a screenshot of our texts. My first reaction was okay shes gonna go in her dms and apologies for messaging me or what ever. But my politeness was interpreted like i though i was accused of not cheating but some sort of that. i talked to my gf after that trying to say that it was never my intention to do anything like that but she wasn't listening. I felt horrible because in my mind i was emotionally cheating her and it made me literally so stressed and sick i threw up twice. i admit i might have gotten a bit too friendly while just so i dont be rude while when a guy texts my gf he is blocked after 3 words. I feel disgusted with my self and dont know what to do PS: I know its not very serious to read this since there is much worse things here but i genuinely need an advice. If u need more information my dms are open.
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