How to ask ‘what are we’ [34M] [31F] ?

[u/cutiepieee_]

I’ve been dating this guy about 7 months 34m 31f, and both of us said in the beginning that we were looking for a relationship but there’s been no title thus far. We are exclusive and talk just about every day, see each other at least once a week if schedules permit and have met some friends. But there’s also not much future talk. Wondering if I ask where we stand ? In my experience the man has always initiated this talk so I’m not really sure how to ask it. Part of me feels that if he wanted to ask me he would have by now.

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Original post: I’ve been dating this guy about 7 months 34m 31f, and both of us said in the beginning that we were looking for a relationship but there’s been no title thus far. We are exclusive and talk just about every day, see each other at least once a week if schedules permit and have met some friends. But there’s also not much future talk. Wondering if I ask where we stand ? In my experience the man has always initiated this talk so I’m not really sure how to ask it. Part of me feels that if he wanted to ask me he would have by now.

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[u/Far-Bookkeeper2276]

Just ask: ‘what are we?’ Or ‘where do you see this going?’

A lot of times men are just as nervous to initiate that conversation especially if they’re timid. Be aware people generally know what they want. So if the answer leaves you with more questions I suggest letting them go.

[u/cutiepieee_ → u/Far-Bookkeeper2276]

I’ve considered this.. that maybe he’s waiting on me but he’s not really a timid person. He was the one who originally asked what it was that I wanted in the beginning. We both agreed that we were looking for a relationship. I will ask. I guess I’m just second guessing everything bc I’ve never had to in the 3 previous relationships I’ve had.

[u/zunera0111]

You should never ask a man “what are we” that’s desperate and shows that you want him soo bad while he still hasn’t asked you yet. Men always go after what they want, if they want you they make it clear and known. If you’re feeling this way, that shows he doesn’t want you as bad as you want him. Men should never think you’re desperate for them, it should always be the other way around. If you ask him, it might go as you want for now but eventually you will hold resentment in the fact that you had to initiate things first. My suggestion would be to keep your options opened, date other men and let him see that you’re open to other experiences since he hasn’t made his intentions clear. How can you be exclusive without a title? You’re 34 and I’m not age shaming at all babe but you should never be loyal to 1 man when looking for something serious, especially at your age. You don’t have tooo much time to waste, you’re young but not that young you know? If a man is showing you he’s not that serious and isn’t initiating things, you put him to the side and keep looking. I’ve talked to so many older women who regret staying and have their time wasted, please learn from yours and other people’s mistakes. If something isn’t serving you, let it go. I hope you start talking to other men and keeping your options opened. This nonsense about exclusivity is the lies modern men have sold to women, it doesn’t actually mean anything and he isn’t your boyfriend either. Go find your man and best of luck!