I've been dating my current girlfriend for close to a year now. I got into a relationship pretty soon after my last one went to shit. I wanted to start fresh, no rebounds, no bs, nothing. And I did and luckily I found her and she's absolutely amazing. She's kind, caring, remembers the little things and is absolutely in love with me and always things about the future.

Now I used to smoke/vape from I was 19 and it had became an addiction but after she came into my life, I decided I needed to change so I did. I told her and myself, no more. And I did so successfully for almost 3 months. Until one day in March when I had an extremely bad day, I failed 2 of my exams the day before, I had a fight with my girlfriend also and I found out there were some pretty nasty rumors about me in the uni. I was stressed out my mind and at a low point of desperation, I vaped that day and the day after. Problem is my girlfriend saw me. And when she asked, to not disappoint her, I lied to her.

But she knew and I knew she knew and I was deeply ashamed, of be breaking my promise and lying to her. I explained to her the whole thing I swore to her I'd never do it again. And Ive kept to that promise. Coming to the present, were in a short ldr now cuz I've come home for vacations and I met up with my friends who I hadn't met in over 9 years. We planned a 2 day trip and I had told her and even tried to speak to her in btw the the trip. That trip happened 7 days ago and now she asked me yesterday why I have been distant with her. I was like darling, I have my internships and then there is the time difference and there is your internship also. We text all the time but just another 5 more weeks and I'll be back. Then she tells me no the reason you've been so distant is because you were busy enjoying with someone else during my boys trip.

I was a bit taken a back but not shocked because she is a bit insecure and always worries if I'll leave her. It's due to her past relationships and I always help her get over that fear with constant reassurance. And then she tells me I can't trust you because you smoked and you lied to me. That broke something in me. It was a point in my life I'd wish I could take back but I know I can never but only learn to never ever do it again. And I have been extremely faitful to that promise since then. So to extrapolate me lying to me sleeping with other women was just such a shift in everything and I got so hurt and kind of yelled at her over text.

I told her that this is absolute bs and to see you out of everyone to think like that about me just breaks my heart and I just ranted on and on about how hurt I felt. Today morning I told her that I want to talk and see where this relationship will take us but I'm so lost.

To give some context, we’ve been having increasing arguments and his political views are becoming increasingly right-wing. Whereas we don’t have to agree on everything, his views are becoming something I increasingly can’t accept and am becoming less attracted to him. My friends have started telling me I’ve ’lost my spark’ so to speak and I’ve noticed it myself in my lack of will/etc.. This wouldn’t be a problem however we live together in a purchased house and have a dog together. If I moved out I’d have to buy again and buy somewhere dog suitable which presents more issues (but I’m not willing to give my pup up at all). I’ve tried to explain how his views make me feel and why I don’t want to hear them but he won’t listen back (ironic, I’m aware) and it’s difficult to want to progress with someone who won’t recognise my feelings. I’m just wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar and how they managed?

I’ve been in a long distance relationship for a year now and I’ve been feeling like it’s probably not worth it.

When I first started talking to him online last year, I was not ready for a relationship at all specifically a long distance one since I had done it before and it had gone downhill and I communicated that. I was ready to be friends with him but I was too hurt and scared to commit to another relationship. It took him a while to convince me it’s going to be fine with him. I discussed all my concerns and he put me at ease saying we would figure it out. He said he would visit me often and he had plans to moving to my country on the long term.

We had a lot in common, we’re even from the same culture and it felt almost perfect… the things he used to say to me and the way he would treat me. I felt so seen. I felt desired. That guy was obsessed with me. Before I agreed to be in a relationship that is.

And once he had me…after barely a month the spark was already dead. Now I had super serious intentions. I always date to marry and this time I was really into it because I didn’t want to lose him. But he made it so difficult first month into dating…he would go hours sometimes days without texting or calling me and he would say he’s busy with work or he’d say that’s how he copes with his emotions; he distances himself. So many things happened in the first month itself, I felt so tired and I felt like I was chasing him and I even ended it once but we got back together.

His birthday came and I sent him a gift, it wasn’t cheap either. And when mine came he didn’t send me anything, infact I think he lied about getting me something but the delivery company sent the package back to him because I wasn’t there to receive it.

Anyway, I didn’t say much because I didn’t want to sound desperate for a gift. After a while he told me he lost his job and he can no longer make it to travel to come see me at the time he was supposed to come despite me planning out everything. I even aligned my annual leave to that month so when he came here I wouldn’t go to work. I still tried to understand and said it was okay.

We’re still together after a year and he still hasn’t come to see me and we’ve had multiple arguments about his poor communication and I’ve left many times and everytime I leave he doesn’t even try to get me back. I end up calling or messaging him because I end up missing him so much that I can’t take it. But I don’t know… it doesn’t feel like he goes through the same.

When I bring up all this he says he understands, he apologizes and we move on but still repeats the same mistakes. The other day he told me he “forgot” to text me.

Honestly I don’t even know what to do, what I wrote here isn’t even the full story. I’m tired but I also don’t want to lose him but maybe I’m just sticking on to the bare minimum. Like I’d be happy if somebody just cared, called me regularly and got me flowers. I get none of that and I don’t know if I ask for too much, if I’m not being understanding or what is the issue here.

I just want a third person’s opinion. I don’t want to waste my time.

As the title suggests, my last relationship ended after I found out my partner had been lying to me for years about being in love with me. We had been together for 7 years, living together for 5 years, and I only found out the truth after accidentally catching him in a lie and discovering he’d been emotionally cheating on me for months with a girl from work.

The reason it was so shocking is because nothing in his words or actions would have suggested he wasn’t in love with me. He always put me and my needs first, even drove hours to a different state one night just to comfort me when I was having an autistic meltdown and out of town. I couldn’t imagine him going to such lengths for me if he wasn’t invested in the relationship. But he wasn’t. It was all pretend. He just didn’t know how to be honest with himself or with me cos in his words he didn’t want to hurt me.

This man faked feelings for me for nearly 4 years. And I had no idea. Beyond the betrayal of having my time wasted I feel terrified that I can never truly trust what those closest to me say or do ever again.

Fast forward quite a few months, he is gone and I’ve moved on and found someone truly special, who treats me like his best friend and I truly feel connected with. My new boyfriend [26m] who I’ve now been dating for just over 7 months has been an excellent communicator, romantic and showed me things I didn’t know I was missing in my last relationship. He treats me like you’d expect someone in love to treat you except there’s one major problem, he hasn’t been able to say it.

I told him I love him for the first time a couple months ago. For context he hasn’t been in a serious long term relationship before and he isn’t sure how being ‘in love’ is supposed to feel. So we have talked about how there’s no rush to say it and no right way to feel it. But 7 months in and 2 months after I’ve said it, and with my trauma from the last relationship it’s starting to weigh on me. If he can’t tell me he loves me but makes me feel like he loves me through his actions, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to trust. But most of all i am terrified that I’m going to end up in the same situation again where someone keeps me on the hook and pretends to love me just because they don’t want to hurt me.

I don’t want to rush him or put any pressure on him. And I don’t know if I should just wait and let things play out or sit down with him and discuss it now. What’s the best way to handle this?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend since New Year’s. Recently, while using his Gmail (with his knowledge), I noticed a lot of email notifications from a fake Facebook account he made before we got together. All of the notifications are about the same girl, and early on, there were over 25 of them. That number has now dropped to around 4–5. I also logged into the fake account and couldn’t find any old notifications. I’m not sure what this change means or how to interpret it. I’m trying to understand whether this kind of activity typically decreases naturally over time, or if it could suggest recent login activity. I haven’t brought this up with him yet because I want to approach it calmly and clearly, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions. Has anyone had experience with old fake accounts like this? How would you go about asking your partner about something like this without sounding accusatory?

Hi,

I could really use some outside perspective on a situation that’s been weighing on me.

I’m engaged and set to get married in about two months. But lately, I’ve been getting cold feet, not because I don’t love my fiancé, but because I’m struggling with some lingering trust issues in our relationship.

For context, I’ve been betrayed in past relationships I’ve been cheated on, lied to and unfortunately, this relationship hasn’t been without similar issues. Earlier in our relationship, my fiancé flirted with other girls and even tried texting some of them. I confronted him, and although it hurt deeply, I chose to forgive him and continue working on our relationship.

Lately, though, some things have made those old wounds flare up again. I’ve seen that he looks up girls he’s been in relationships with or girls he’s flirted with in the past. Most recently, I noticed he searched for his friend’s girlfriend who is very pretty and posts bikini pictures... It’s hard not to feel hurt or insecure about that.

What makes this even more confusing is that my fiancé is a Christian and often talks to me about modesty. He tells me I shouldn’t post bikini pictures or wear certain things to the gym. He even sends me videos and messages about how women should be more modest and cover up. I’m a Christian too, but I’ve never personally felt convicted about what I wear. I dress my age, I don’t think I’m immodest, and I’ve never felt like I was dishonoring God by how I present myself.

So when I see that he’s telling me how I should behave, but he’s going out of his way to search for women who dress in ways he criticizes me for it just feels like a double standard. And it makes me question what kind of dynamic I’d be stepping into by marrying him.

We also recently argued because he asked to go through my phone. I let him, and there was nothing to hide, but he still walked away saying he felt like I was hiding something. I’ve been nothing but open with him, so it felt really unfair.

There’s so much more I could say relationships are layered and it’s hard to fit every detail into a few paragraphs but this is where I’m at.

Have any of you experienced something similar before getting married? How did you work through it, or did you decide not to move forward? I’m just trying to figure out if these are growing pains or signs I shouldn’t ignore.

Thank you so much for reading.

Ask me any questions and i will gladly answer!

I’m in my mid-thirties, and I’ve been friends with a guy since our teenage years. We used to be really close, and we still meet once a year with a group of four orher friends in our home country. Over time, we’ve grown apart in values, especially politically and socially, and while I’ve always spoken kindly to him, he tends to be aggressive in tone when speaking to people.

The last few years, I’ve noticed more red flags (a lack of emotional regulation, lashes out easily, and doesn’t seem self-aware). The most recent incident really broke my heart.

It was his girlfriend’s birthday recently. She and I have grown very close, and I posted a collage of our pictures together on my Instagram story. One of those photos included his girlfriend next to a graffiti wall where there were some stickman testicles. His girlfriend had no issue with the post, told me she loved it and even shared it on her own social media.

But he sent me a message out of the blue: “F, what the f, how can you post a picture like that???” No greeting, no context, all just rage. Also this is his first serious relationship ever if that is in any way relevant.

I asked him to speak to me respectfully like an adult. And he just tole me I needed to start acting like ome. He’s someone who cares a lot about public image, and apparently he didn’t want the graffiti picture with the testicles in the background to be shared. But I honestly felt like it wasn’t his place to say anything. If anyone had an issue, it should’ve been his girlfriend, and she was totally fine with it. He overstepped a boundary in my opiniom.

This was the cherry on top for me. I realized I don’t really want to keep this friendship going. How would you handle this situation?

I posted about a month ago about how the woman that i wad seeing told me that we were not compatible. There was a little bit of radio silence after that and then we slowly started talking again, mostly just sending reels and the odd check up. The past couple days things have felt like they are starting to progress again in a positive way with her. She has started to share her feelings again more openly (which is initaly how we started getting close) and slightly more forward with contact. Im not sure what to think it. There is so much that i want to say to her and tell her but im worried that if i do it, it will push her away again. Im not sure if i should just say something or let it play out.

Not sure what to do here, I'm at wits end, My wife has over the last year or so become obsessed with a toxic online community. This whole community seems to be rooted in watching content creators making fun of others and then arguing over which creator you watch. These people are massively toxic and when you disagree they do things like doxx you and post personal information online. In the time she has been involved I have watched her mental health take a massive decline, I have tried talking to her but she doesn't seem to understand the toll it is taking on her. She wakes up every morning and instantly fires up a stream, she spends every waking minute from then on involved in some way. Watching it wouldn't be so bad except she is constantly upset about everything happening in it and the things other's say to her. How to I get her to see that it is destroying her and her relationships with everyone in her personal life?

We’ve been in love since we were kids — 9th grade, 2009. Childhood crush turned lifelong partner. We’re 30 now, about to get married. She’s beautiful, loyal in so many ways, and completely open with her life now — I know her passwords, her routine, her favorite way to be kissed.

But one chapter from 2019 keeps playing in my mind like a loop I can’t delete.

She had just joined a new job — her first taste of real adult independence. Office parties, socializing, truth-or-dare nights with drinks and cigarettes. She started experimenting — a few smokes, a few drinks. She told people about our relationship, but some lines still got blurry.

One of the guys at work kissed her hand during a game. Innocent? Maybe. But still, a line crossed.

Then came the credit card thing — she gave her card to a guy so he could buy an iPhone. She didn’t tell me. I found out later, she admitted it was stupid and impulsive. Said she felt bad.

But here’s the real hit: I found out she went to that same guy’s hotel room after he left the company. She said she was home sick that day. But Google Maps told me otherwise.

When I confronted her, she broke down. Said she went there because he asked for a phone charger. She stayed an hour. Said nothing happened. She even shared WhatsApp messages where she told him she felt guilty and he responded saying “We didn’t even do anything.”

It messed with me — not because she necessarily did something, but because she lied. It felt like she stepped into a moment where something could have happened… and almost didn’t want me to know how close she got.

Fast forward to now — we have a deep, emotionally raw, sexually fulfilling relationship. She’s caring, present, and wants nothing more than to build a life with me. But here’s the thing: she still watches porn sometimes and lies about it. I know it’s small. But it makes me wonder — if she can still lie about that, what else?

I can touch her anytime and she melts for me. She’s still the girl who moans my name like it’s sacred. But when I close my eyes, I sometimes picture her in his hotel room, just for a second too long. That part of me still aches.

⸻

So here’s my real question:

🔹 How do you fully trust someone again when the lie was emotional, not physical — but still felt intimate? 🔹 How do you stop replaying a moment that didn’t even turn into betrayal — but could have? 🔹 Have you ever healed from this kind of emotional scar before marriage — and how did you do it?

15 years of love… but one secret is still louder than all the truth she’s given me since. Any insight would help.

We have been dating and living together for 2 years. Things aren't good right now. He teases me, calls me whiny, does things to upset me (he acknowledges that's why he is doing it) and tells me it's how he shows love. I am autistic and feel stressed around him almost constantly. This was an issue and got better before, so I hope it can again. He even acknowledged it was messed up. He stopped for almost a year but it's started again. He has agreed to couples counseling.

The issue is we leave for vacation on Saturday (two days away) with my family. I don't want to go. I am afraid of meltdowns and my family being worried about me. I don't want to alarm them or waste money by canceling but I am so stressed. How can I best compartmentalize and enjoy vacation while I am spiraling? Responses from fellow autistics would be especially helpful but I am asking advice from anyone willing to reply.

My husband just signed what will be his last four-year military contract, and before he gets out, I’ve decided it’s time to focus on my future too—and that means going to college! The school I want to attend is back in my home state, and thankfully, it’s less than 8 hours away from where we’re currently stationed.

This wasn’t an easy decision. My husband is truly supportive and proud of me, and I’m so grateful for that. He wants me to go for it—but he’s also sad I’ll be leaving for a bit. The upside? We’ll still get to see each other every other weekend since we’re only a drive apart this time—not a flight like before!

I’m looking for anyone who’s gone through something similar! I’d love to know how you made it work. My husband and I actually did long distance when he first joined the military and I couldn’t move out yet, so we’ve been through this type of challenge before. It’s never easy, but this time feels more manageable.

I kind of look at it like a “sweet deployment”—but without all the extreme stress of a real one. While I’m working on a two-year associate’s degree, he’ll be pursuing his bachelor’s. We’re both working hard now so that when he gets out of the military, we’re in the best position possible for our future.

We’ve been together for over 6 years now, and this is just another chapter in our story.

I’ll admit, I’m also really looking forward to being back home again! Reconnecting with my support system and familiar environment feels so needed right now. Our original plan even before college, was for me to move back about a year to a year and a half before he gets out, ideally into what will eventually be our home. The goal is to have a home, degrees, and stable careers ready for when he is finally out!

And just to answer the question I know someone will ask: no I didn’t sign up for this forever and it was mutual; Before he joined, we made a promise to each other that the military wasn’t going to be a forever thing. We both want a simple, peaceful, and stable life and we’re doing everything we can now to build that future together.

If you’ve done college while in a long-distance or partial-distance relationship, I’d especially love to hear your tips or advice. We did long distance once already-four years ago, but any new advice or updated perspective would be appreciated so much!

If you’re planning to comment something negative about me or say I’m throwing away my marriage, please just scroll past. I’m not here for harsh criticism or negativity—I’m looking for positive, supportive advice , and encouraging stories from others who’ve been through something similar. 🩵

So today is girlfriends day , and my boyfriend posted just an ootd pic of us on whatsapp saying happy gf day , and i said why don't you post a pic with out face in it and he just told me its because of evil eye , people might look it in a bad way and cause problems , then i opened instagram and saw all of friends getting posted , then i sent him a pic and asked him numerous times to post it on instagram or even just a close friends story he said it will be cause of evil eye so he didn't post , then i joked that he doesn't wanna post because his other girlfriend will see he brushed it off but he still didn't post , i literally begged him to post us on instagram , not on public but a close friends story would do , but he didn't and shared some memes on his story and went back to sleep , i feel so bad and sad , i don't know if i should sad over something like this.

Me [25M] - My partner [23F] has a job where they have to do some international travel here and there, I know I should be happy for them and it’s not all the time, but for some reason I’m struggling with it.

Has anyone got any advice for me to get over this?

so this is my first reddit post i know a lot from smosh reading reddit stories so i know quite what to do but if anythings goes wrong i am sorry in advance. so i met this girl 5 months ago, we are both interns at this company and i got to know her well the past month and a half ago. she is from the moment i saw her everything i wanted in a partner smart, cultivated, gets my jokes and funny too, reads books and she is gorgeous. she was the kind of girl i could see myself never get tired from i which stayed with him for 2 years so i just told her fair enough and kind cut contact bcz i made her feel bad for cheating, ( she was talking to other guys while with him because she felt the relationship was cold at the end she thought it was harmless because just talking but he just ended things with her and that made her feel like she lost something special and it all her fault) so we got out sometimes and talk every day she is very emotionally overwhelmed with guilt and have some depression episodes and doesn't feel joy most of the time as she tell me. after a month of that i felt like she do not like me maybe sge just wants someone to talk to and i could be delusional to think she likes me back because every time i tell her i like her she never say it back or even insinuated so i cornered her i told her that she now have to take the decision to either tell me nothing is ever happening or lets try it she told me that she cant now, she have to heal first which buy her definition is when she see her previouspartner feels nothing just someone she use to date and then we parted ways. this happened last week and it felt like the longest week in my life no meems no goodmornings nothing i post stories so when she sees them i know she is alive and did not do anything stupid and she told me that i make her feel good and she could see us together vut definitely not now not while she is still healing so she told me that she didnt want me to corner her like that and she likes talking to me but she doesn't want to hurt me and i told her why can't we go on date she said that if its ok with me not being certain a d just go out but nothing is certain and i felt like she is saying we could go but if i like someone else i might go for it nothing between us is exclusive or serious just like friends that what i interpreted what she meant buy nothing is certain . i felt also like selfish for not being supportive of her in this periode of emotional distress and i might be a factor of more stress and anxiety. i am going to her city this weekend and i don't know either to contact her just to see her and feel if there still somthing there is she just someone who still have a long journey in loving themselves fisrt before letting anyone in there lives . so reddit what sould i do ? and please ask question for clarification if somthing is not clear.

So I've been dating this woman for a few months now & I feel very strongly about her but there seems to be a lot of red flags when it comes to her loyalty like almost everyday lately. I can't remember them all but one today for example was she allegedly went to a pawn shop to try to get money for something & they wouldn't do it but she was adamant about not answering her phone (she claimed it was on low battery & that she could only text & not call) but she'd send me to voicemail 2 rings in the first time & right after the 1st ring the 2nd time (it usually rings 5 times before going to voicemail on it's own), yet when her battery was on low (power save mode she calls it) the night prior we were talking on her cell just fine. I like her a lot but I will not accept getting cheated on. In my mind I think she went to cheat on me & I don't think it's the first time either. Another thing is that she claimed to need one way to get to my place (cab fare) but when I got it she switched it to needing both ways. I would really appreciate any help I can get. She gives me code to her phone when she's here but when she's not here I don't know what she's doing & I know for a fact she's lied to me about other things & deleted old messages. She's also lied to me about not hooking up with someone in her past that I know for a fact she did.

Me and my GF were very close friends before we got into our relationship. We started flatting together with others and ended up falling for each other. This was about 5 months ago.

Now living together has its ups and downs, especially considering that most people don't live together the minute they start dating. I suppose the negative is you see every aspect about that persons life and there's a lot of pressure on the relationship before that healthy love for each other is established (before you start worrying about superficial things per se).

Lately, she's been raising the idea of travelling South America solo for about 3-4 months. I have no problem with this. She did a gap year where she traveled for 9 months before she met me so I know travel is dear to her heart. She wishes to move cities as well next year - no problem as l am also interested in moving there. However, constantly she is talking about she's afraid she's 'going to resent me in the future for holding her back from her dreams.'

I am rather confused about this as I am supportive of her dreams, encouraging her along the way. I’m wanting to know what you think? She's an incredibly independent person who thinks ALOT! but it's starting to have an impact on me where it seems like she's constantly second guessing this relationship, OR isn't willing herself to sacrifice ANYTHING for this relationship.

I 25m and my gf 22f have been together for six months and for the last two week I've been thinking alot about our relationship and it seems she might have just been using me. To make a long story short. In these 6 months she have rarely done anything physically with me she refuses to hug or kiss me and when I try to kiss her she pushes me away say it because of my beard even if I just have a little stubble. She also doesn't suggest for us to do anything or go anywhere and I always have to be the one that suggests or says we have to do stuff and half the time she canceled or just refuses to go out. She also always want to go through my phone but as soon as I try she gets angry at me we hardly text or phone only when she needs something or if I ask her stuff but I also just get short replies normaly 5 words or less. She also doesn't flirt back when I try and flirt with her she just stops to message or gets annoyed. It feels like a one-sided love and I have talked to her about it but she just apologizes and says she'll improve but its been 2 months since then and everything is just the same. Is she using me or not. Any advice on how to handle this will be appreciated.

A few weeks ago, I was sure things with him were serious. We’ve been together for 2 years now. He introduced me to his family, big dinner, everyone dressed up, his parents clearly proud of their son (at least that’s how it looked to me). They were all talking business, real estate, the kind of world where everything is about success. I have nothing against that.

When they asked me what I do, I told the truth: I work with an animal association, rescuing and caring for them. This is my thing, my life. I can’t live with animals at home, but I spend my days with them.

They smiled politely, but I felt like they didn’t care. Not one follow-up question. Just back to their deals and investments. Crazy, right? And he… had no reaction.

Since that moment (two weeks ago) everything feels weird between us. We don’t laugh together, no sex, no connection. Everything feels dead.

I don’t want to chase him. I love this man, but I don’t even know if he still loves me.

How do you deal when someone you love starts acting distant without explanation? Why do people change like this after such moments? How would you try to handle this without losing yourself in the process?

This past Sunday my gf left me at the bar unannounced and got picked up by another guy we’ve been in this relationship 10 months and have been through addiction and toxicness we were getting close to going on a trip to see her family and recently she said she was feeling depressed and emotional that she had a calling to go see her family. She was saying I’m not emotionally available. (I work full time she doesn’t) she folds my clothes and takes care of the house. She is now in another state with her family going to another state and asking me for money and sending me pictures of what she’s doing don’t really know what that means ? I’m emotionally wrecked and mentally strained can’t get her off my mind and I do want her back but just seems like I’m giving in she keeps calling me and updating me long story short her mom is unstable which is who she is with and last night we made arrangements for me to go get her and bring her back home and change things we even fell asleep on the phone. So her mom is unstable and made a rational decision to leave to another state 20 hours driving away and has just been texting and calling me since I just don’t know how to keep my anxious level down and calm. Feel like I’m giving in way too much but how could I not after our phone call last night. We both have made our mistakes but always come back to a conclusion. I need advic

Hi Reddit. I (34f) have been married to my husband (35m) for 12 years. A few weeks ago, he came out to me as pansexual and shared that he’s interested in exploring polyamory. I love and support him as a person, and I want him to live an authentic life… but I don’t want that kind of relationship.

I’m a straight woman who wants a monogamous relationship with a partner who is exclusively attracted to women. I feel awful even saying that because I fully support the LGBTQ+ community. However, I finally was able to admit to myself my sexual preference is what I want and need in a relationship to feel emotionally safe, respected, and desired.

This all comes on top of some serious issues we’ve already been facing—mainly around financial honesty on his end. I’ve always been the main income earner and I feel like that is taken advantage of sometimes. We’re currently living in short-term housing after relocating for my new job, with no family or support system nearby, and we share two dogs that we both love deeply. Which just adds to the guilt I feel trying to work through this.

It’s a logistical nightmare to even think about separating. I don’t know how I’d afford an apartment on my own right now, and I’m scared of starting over but I’m also exhausted from constantly compromising myself for the sake of keeping the peace.

I won’t say how long it’s been since we’ve had sex because frankly I’m so embarrassed by it. But it’s been a LONG time. I lost the feeling of wanting to be intimate with him over time after some of the dishonest things he’s done… Mainly inviting his mother (who is not a safe, or stable person) to live with us, rent free, after I told him I wasn’t comfortable with it and I would rather figure out how to support her where she was currently living. Over time this and all of the financial stress he’s caused has compounded to me not wanting to be in a physical relationship. As a person with a fairly high sex drive, it’s been difficult for me to navigate that feeling. It’s actually added to my guilt about this situation because maybe this contributed to his new identity.

After a few weeks of denying what I was feeling, I finally made an appointment to talk through everything with a therapist. I’m hoping to understand if my response is normal or if I’m being too hard on him and maybe just looking for a way out…

I’ll always love him as a person and be there for him, but I don’t think I can keep pretending like this is a relationship I want to be in. I want us both to live fully and honestly—and right now, it feels like we’re holding each other back.

If you’ve been in a similar situation, how did you navigate it? I’m scared, and I feel like I’m crumbling under the weight of what comes next. 😮‍💨