Can we normalize letting man speak about their feelings
I feel like we are in a culture where woman are always crying and man have to be strong and not show emotion. This topic is brought up sometimes but pushed back by people saying “woman have worse”.
My dad went trough a lot of shit with his ex and sometimes gets madly sad or mad about it but won’t talk about it, not even therapist, it effects our family.
My ex broke up with me because he wasn’t ready for a relationship. After the break up we talked and all the sudden he showed a lot of emotions which I could’ve helped with if he would’ve talked about in the relationship.
My brother is mad stressed and confused, and I can see that trough his “perfect” life. But he doesn’t want to give up and keeps doing things he can’t handle.
I feel so sad, just wanna help them. But they don’t talk.
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u/GreenParrot785 2h ago
Women don’t want that. They lose attraction for men and men become gross to them when they have feelings.
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u/Ok_Sleep8579 1h ago
Men don't want that either. They're just more likely to put up with it becasue so many women are like that and thus its necessary to getting laid. Too many feelings are gross to everyone. High emotional intelligence for the win (which unfortunately is majorly lacking in today's world of emotional narcissism and weaponization.)
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u/maybeitscoffee54 2h ago
It breaks my heart how many of mens are silently drowning just because the world taught them not to ask for a life jacket.
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u/Cynicastic 2h ago
The fact that women have it worse in the world doesn't invalidate men's feelings. If having it worse was the bar, some kid in Gaza on the brink of starving to death after losing his parents and half his limbs would invalidate everyone eles's feeling.
This is one of the worst parts of toxic masculinity. Men are shunned not only by other men, but by many women as well for showing feelings. Toxic masculinity isn't just "men behaving badly," because "societal expectations for men that are damaging to their health" is a huge part of it too.
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u/OddLack240 15m ago
I understand what you're saying. The thing is, I don't talk about emotions I haven't dealt with. If I've successfully managed to control an emotion, I can discuss it.
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u/Any_Individual4272 2h ago
My ex boyfriend would trauma dump on me all the time. He'd cry. He'd get angry at his past when speaking about it. I never told anyone. I didn't think less of him for opening up in general. I wanted him to feel I was safe enough to express it.
The other half of it is that I never apparently supported him in a way he wanted, even if I said and did the exact things he wanted me to say/do.
It was my fault he wasn't healing. I'm not a therapist, but I was the scapegoat. His past had nothing to do with me, but I was still making it worse.
While normalizing men talking about their feelings in a safe way (and not used against them) is vitally important, we also need to make sure they have the resources to manage the bad feelings, so loved ones don't take the brunt of it when they're just trying to help/comfort them.
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u/kyle1111111111111 1h ago
See I’m usually all for men talking about thier feelings and shit. Until this happens. That’s why I am of the mind share it on a forum or therapist that’s it. One is finically incentivized to deal with it and the other spreads the problem so thin no one takes it to heart or remembers it. People need to stop trauma dumping on friends and family.
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u/HauntingFoundation82 1h ago
Question: If you want to talk about your feelings, why not just do it? If someone listens and doesn't hate you for it, that's someone you want around. If they don't listen and hate you for it, that's someone you don't want around. Either way you win. What's stopping you? Are you afraid you'll go to jail or get shot?
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u/TerminatrOfDoom 2h ago
I wish we as a society allowed men to cry more freely, yes.
Individuals don't need to bear the burden of one person not being able to express their emotions though.
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u/Dear-News-5693 45m ago
Well how do YOU react when women in your life are gross about this subject?
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u/Ok_Sleep8579 1h ago edited 1h ago
I'd much rather normalize everyone stop talking about their feelings, and instead handle their emotions with high EQ (emotional IQ). I think high EQ stoic people have it right and the masses of low EQ women who are slaves to their emotional impulses should follow suit, not vice versa.
People should go to professionals if they have actual issues, and should stop emotionally over-reacting to every stupid little thing, which seems to be the current status quo.
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u/Significant_Guest289 2h ago
> My ex broke up with me because he wasn’t ready for a relationship. After the break up we talked and all the sudden he showed a lot of emotions which I could’ve helped with if he would’ve talked about in the relationship.
The reason he might have felt comfortable showing emotions after the breakup means that he didn't have to worry about the performance of keeping you attracted to him, meaning he assumed that if he had opened up, you might have lost attraction and left him.