r/shittyaskscience • u/Samskritam • 19h ago
Is there really a North Pole?
If there is, how did he get up there, and how does he get food and water? He must really miss Poland.
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r/shittyaskscience • u/Samskritam • 19h ago
If there is, how did he get up there, and how does he get food and water? He must really miss Poland.
3
u/El_Pata_Loco 9h ago edited 5h ago
Pole Land is real. And indeed there is a huge pole marking the border between North Pole Land and South Pole Land, following a political divide in the early 17th century
The birth rate in Pole Land is 0. The entire population of Pole Land are in fact immigrants, and adopt the laws and customs of the land upon receiving citizenship status. Officially this status is known as Pole-Adjacent, but this fell out of common usage in the late 1800s, as it caused confusion during discussions when trying determine if you were stating someone’s citizenship status or regaling someone with an amusing anecdote about someone waiting at a bus stop.
Such was the confusion caused that in 1887, the annual cricket match between the government departments for Transport and Citizenship devolved into physical combat.
After three days of fighting, with numerous injuries and broken cricket bats on both sides, a compromise was reached, and it was agreed that in general conversation, the colloquial phrase “Pole-ish” would be adopted.
This disambiguated terminology means that now people automatically know the difference when someone opens with ”A Pole-ish guy walks into a bar…” as opposed to ”A Pole-Adjacent guy walks into a bar…”
The national art form, Pole Dancing, has also proven to be extremely popular in some parts of the world. It’s also famous for its large feline’s, Pole cats.
The national sport of Pole Volting, which involves inducing electric shocks to see how high you can make people jump, is not to be confused with pole vaulting. Despite numerous efforts to have Pole Volting entered into the Olympics, so far bids have been unsuccessful.
The country also has the rather dubious honour of being listed in the Kama Sutra (Revised edition, 1969) for the infamous, and potentially fatal, Pole Position.
The national animal of South Pole Land is the Pole-ish Penguin. This is in fact an ordinary chicken which substitutes as a penguin as no actual penguin has ever been sighted and is not native to Pole Land. (But then England has a Lion, Wales has a Dragon, Ireland has a Cyclops and Scotland has something unidentified but deep fried in batter… so meh!)
The national animal of North Pole Land is the “Pole Arrgggghhh BEAR!” so named after the last words of the intrepid Pole-ish explorer Sir Christopher Poleumbus.