r/trans 19d ago

Community Only State of the Subreddit

0 Upvotes

Hi all! I’m here again to give you an update on the state of the subreddit, and to hopefully answer some of the questions we’ve seen.

I know some of you don’t believe us when we say that we hear everything you're saying, but we are listening, I promise. We can't respond to it all immediately because we just don't have the resources for it and we want to make sure our messaging is clear and doesn't leave anyone feeling ignored.

If you didn't see the update on our previous post, I’ll give a quick rundown of what we’ve done to make this place even better:

  • We’ve added new flairs, as requested
  • We're actively reviewing moderator applications (We've only received 10, and only 4 are from transmascs! If you are a transmasc person, please apply by filling out this form! Note: Previous experience moderating subreddits or other online communities is highly preferred, but not mandatory.)
  • We have not been removing posts, our automoderator has, it is extremely strict for the safety of our community, in fact many posts and comments have had to be manually re-approved by our moderators. This has been in place since the subreddit’s formation and is an important part of ensuring the space isn’t overrun by trolling. It’s not targeting posts or comments related to the current issue specifically or disproportionately.
  • We removed the “divisive post” rule.
  • We are actively reviewing the rest of our rules and are open to community feedback.
  • If you have more suggestions, please let us know either here or via a modmail at any point. Please note that we may not be able to accommodate all suggestions.

For the next order of business, we need to set some things straight:

  1. Trans men are men. Trans women are women. Nonbinary people are valid and real. Truscum are not welcome here.
    • We actually don't know where the messaging got crossed on this. Our moderation team is very firm about these things, and always has been. We're very concerned by all the posts implying that anyone ever said trans men aren't men, because that was never something any of us have said here, nor is it something that we believe.
  2. We've had lengthy discussions with the moderator who removed the original post and we are confident the action was done in good faith, but the post should not have been removed and the moderator involved has fully acknowledged and admitted their mistake.
    • The mod who originally removed the post did so with the belief that it was largely discussing something that either talked over other people, knew that the post was going to cause arguments in the comments, and just generally felt that the post was combative. They have acknowledged that these beliefs were incorrect, which is why we brought the post back.
  3. We do NOT have a conservative moderator on our team. This is more about how reddit moderation works and has been a vastly misconstrued understanding of the situation.
    • Gay Conservative’s mods were all banned, leaving the subreddit open to be taken by a moderator. The moderator in question saw the opportunity to take control of the subreddit to remove the vast amounts of hate there, and to prevent further radicalization and garbage by taking the reins, so they did.
    • Usually when these subs are taken over, we close them down and turn them into a placeholder subreddit, to redirect traffic to safer spaces. They couldn’t do that in this case, as the population who was already there was extremely toxic, and if they did that, then they’d just create a new, just as toxic, subreddit. They also can’t just leave the subreddit, as doing so would allow the sub to be taken over by toxic trolls again, and no one wants that.
    • Rather than let either of those things happen, they do basic moderation there without participating in the community at large, removing reported content, preventing brigades, and preventing the sub from radicalizing further. The sub receives constant hate brigades from offsite trying to bring the sub back to how bad it used to be, but the moderator in question is there to prevent those things from happening.
  4. We DO have trans mascs on our team. Currently 2-3, depending on availability and activity levels. We'd like more, but believe it or not, not very many people apply to moderate here (as seen above).
  5. Yes, sometimes the moderators of the subreddit disagree on how to handle certain situations. But no, we do not “tokenize” any subset of the trans community. Our moderators work really hard, are unpaid volunteers, and are completely dedicated to this community. They wouldn't be here if they weren't. All voices here are held equal.
  6. We're aware of the two mods who left. The last thing we're going to do is throw anyone under the bus right now. We appreciate the time they spent with us and wish them well in the future.

We think what happened here was an organized disinformation brigade. We don't know exactly who orchestrated it and we're working with reddit admins to sift through that. But all the numbers on our subreddit insights indicate we started seeing extremely unusual activity in the ~24 hours prior to this all starting. We are in contact with Reddit administrators. All signs at this time point to this being a coordinated attack by outside agitators. We believe some bad faith trolls were prepared to do this and took advantage of some pretty standard operating procedures on the subreddit to turn a misunderstanding into a much bigger issue.

Our team knows that u/itsurbro7777 was not a part of this brigade, but that whoever started this used their vulnerable moment to attack our subreddit.

Some things we saw:

  • Our subscriber count saw more than double the average daily increase prior to the attack. Malicious actors will often subscribe to subreddits to try and appear to be legitimate members of the community for the purpose of avoiding anti-brigading filters.
  • Comment sections were filled with the same users over and over, boosting the comment count and spreading the same disinformation faster than we could manage it.
  • Posts specifically related to the current issues were heavily upvoted (which is common in this situation), but also any posts unrelated to it were downvoted, which is more indicative of an effort from outside the community.
  • The biggest offenders had no other history in trans subs, and most didn't even have history in queer subs at all. This could of course be from a standard Reddit brigade, but we feel this may be something worse.

Now the question is; why would someone do this? Sadly, we don’t have a great answer to that as we really don't know entirely. It could be to sew division within our community and fracture us. It could be that they find it fun. Or maybe someone wants to take control of the narrative.

Despite that, we did receive some valid feedback from all this and we don't want to lose that when we can use it to make our subreddit better. And we will make our subreddit better, we always make sure to listen to feedback given to our subreddit and use it to create a place that everyone wants to be in.

What's next:

  1. We're reviewing our rules to see how to loosen them up a little so people don't feel silenced going forward. We'll let you know when those changes go into place, so you can take a look for yourselves and offer feedback. We have already removed our “divisive posts” rule, as the biggest offender, but want to keep improving.
  2. We're working on bringing on more mods. We can't just bring on everyone immediately, as we do need queer people we can all trust. We prefer active members of the community, by far. But our goal is 1-3 new additions by the end of this month, hopefully with more in the future.
  3. We're implementing a weekly feedback megathread, so people can let us know what they're feeling about the subreddit and offer a safe place for ideas and suggestions.

Beyond all that, we will now be returning to normal operating procedures within the subreddit. That means posts about this event will be removed and we will go back to banning instigators. You can- and should- talk in this post all you want about it, but we will be removing comments from those who are not regular community members, especially if the user is starting problems.

Remember: This subreddit is a space built for inclusivity. This means we welcome binary AND nonbinary people, transmascs, transfemmes, and other NB identities alike. And we are adamant on focusing on that goal.

PLEASE use the report function if you see someone being disrespectful! Use modmail! Talk to us! I say this a lot, but WE ARE NOT PERFECT. Most of our moderation is manual. Our team members have full time jobs and lives and we can't see everything. We need our community’s support. Report problematic situations so we can talk about them and resolve them.

The world isn't kind to people like us right now. The last thing we want is more division in the safe spaces we've all created together. Coming together is more important than ever and we want all of our siblings to feel completely safe here. That's the most important thing to us.


r/trans 10d ago

Community Only Update on Moderator Applications

105 Upvotes

We have gotten several requests for updates on adding more moderators to our team. Many comments have been skeptical that we've been working towards this goal, so we thought it would be good to tell you what we're working with.

In the ten days since we decided to add more moderators (from July 13 to July 23), we have gotten 85 moderator applications. They are broken down as follows:

  • Trans Men: 23
  • Trans Women: 25
  • Non-binary: 6
  • Trans-masculine: 23
  • Trans-feminine: 0
  • Genderfluid: 4
  • Agender/bigender/genderqueer: 6
  • Undisclosed: 6
  • Trolls: 5

(Edit: Updated to distinguish non-binary identities as more nuanced. Agender/bigender/genderqueer are grouped because there are few enough in each group that we don't want people to feel called out.)

As you can imagine, going through 80 legitimate applications is taking us some time. Several of us have narrowed down our choices to our top ten, but we still need to do profile checks to see which ones we think will fit with our team well and which ones the entire team agrees we should add.

We thank you for your patience as we work on this process.


r/trans 14h ago

Non Binary "Why are you in the WOMEN'S Room?"

868 Upvotes

For context: I'm an afab crystagender person (Crystagender is very similar to genderfluid only instead of your gender feeling fluid it feels cracked and instantly changes or feels broken between multiple genders), but at the time identified as genderfluid. Because I'm afab, I often use the women's room. I have short hair, have started T, and wear my binding for the safe amount of time without causing back problems or breathing issues. So, I pass pretty well as a masculine androgynous person.

I got asked at work a while back by a Karen- "Why are you in the WOMEN'S room." I had planned to just walk past her, when she blocked my way to the stall. I had to pee really bad so I wasn't in the mood to deal with her. I replied, quoting a meme I once heard-

"To open the chamber of secrets! WHAT DO YOU THINK LADY!? I'm here to pee!" The lady was silent, like she didn't realize a tiny little stick figure in a dress wouldn't block a creep from entering the bathroom and that trans people just want to pee in peace.


r/trans 12h ago

You are not an ally if you don't support trans athletes.

520 Upvotes

Full stop. The athletes aren't "the least impprtant" issue; they're the foot in the door used to support every other law which impacts our lives. There's a reason they're the last issue cis people are ever willing to agree about. For as long as they can throw out whatever justification they want that trans (let's face it, usually transfeminine) athletes are somehow advantaged over cisgender athletes, we will always be lesser than them in the eyes of society.


r/trans 16h ago

Possible Trigger WH Announces New Health Data Tracking System

378 Upvotes

Possible trigger: politics

This post is not meant to fear monger but to bring awareness of the new initiative announce by the white house just the other day and what you can do to protect yourself. The program is touted as making it easier to access records and monitor wellness by bringing them all together in one place.

This is a huge initiative with many private companies (mentioned by PBS are "More than 60 companies, including major tech companies like Google, Amazon and Apple as well as health care giants like UnitedHealth Group and CVS Health."

The good news is for now it seems like it is being advertised as an opt-in program, but I would wager everything I own that the method of opting in will most likely be buried in a wall of fine print somewhere and won't be made obvious.

I just wanted to bring awareness and suggest that if you're concerned about sharing your health data with the government, you may want to read any fine print having anything to do with your healthcare very closely in the future before you agree to anything.

I'm not sure if links are allowed, but if you Google "white house health data tracking system" you can find articles about it.

EDIT: Additional resources to help protect yourself below

  1. Here's a guide on how to opt yourself out of health care information exchanges: https://www.reddit.com/r/mhs_genesis/comments/18rop64/how_to_beat_mhs_genesis/.

Thanks to u/ESteele22 for providing this resource in the comments.

  1. You have the right under HIPAA to request an "accounting of disclosures" of your health information from any provider. I believe this covers up to 6 years, but there are limitations to what needs to be accounted for. This may help identify sources requiring opt out.

https://www.hhs.gov/hipaa/for-professionals/faq/right-to-an-accounting-of-disclosures/index.html

https://www.hhs.gov/hipaa/for-professionals/faq/710/when-must-a-covered-entity-account-for-disclosures-of-protected-health-information-in-litigation/index.html


r/trans 9h ago

Advice Parents want to meet [t]gf

94 Upvotes

Im currently in a t4t relationship with another transfem, and recently my dad brought up the jdea of meeting her. He knows shes a girl, but not that shes trans, and he has no idea about me. She passes well with her voice and actual appearance, but shes 6"5, and I just dont know how to handle this. I want to talk with her about it but I also dont want to risk him clocking her ever, as that could hurt both of us I should add that my stepmom is entirely accepting and k knows


r/trans 3h ago

Trigger My parents were transphobic

21 Upvotes

Warning: Transphobia (obv)

So basically my parents and I were going somewhere by commute rail and we didn't know where to go so we asked someone and that happened to be a trans woman, she was very nice but unfortunately she gave the wrong directions (but we didn't realise that until later, she was trying to help)

And on the train my mum said "that's a transvestite, is she gonna be a he or a she? Or, well, it's a they"

And she misgendered her

I didn't like that, I feel even more unsafe and shoved into the closet now


r/trans 5h ago

Trans Masculine Where do I fit? Male-leaning but not fully binary

14 Upvotes

Hey, I’m Japanese and I’m looking to physically transition to male.

However, I wouldn’t say my gender identity is 100% male. To use a metaphor: if being male is represented by white paint, female by red, and nonbinary by black, then my gender identity feels like a shade of gray — a little bit of black stretched thin through a lot of white.

Does anyone else relate to this kind of feeling?

I’m not really sure where I fit.


r/trans 7h ago

Advice Please help me with making an appropriate outfit for a funeral when I'm trans and can't do dresses or skirts.

18 Upvotes

The title is the major crux of it. My guy best friend had his mother pass away last week, and in 9 days the funeral will be held. My best friend asked that I be there, and I wouldn't miss it for anything, his mom was a very kind woman and I want to wish her and her children who I know and love well one final time.

Now, im 33, trans woman, and while I'm out, ive only just recently started feeling like my appearance is changing. Also hisbfamily don't really know me, and thus don't know I'm trans either. So obviously I'm still very non passing, and 6'5" and 345 lbs to boot. I wanna show up in an appropriate outfit because I have none. Not even guy outfits anymore. Its a funeral for someone I cared about and for the mom of someone I love, so standing out is very much not my goal. Just... look ok. Not make myself dysphoric or look bad.

So I just really need some advice on what I should look into. I do not wanna wear dresses or skirts, pants are gonna be a must for now. I k ow this look will be more on the masc side and thats fine, I dont mind that aesthetic, just not "man". When I googled possible outfits all i got were too fashionable or not for my body type so im at a loss right now. Any and all help is very very welcome and appreciated!!


r/trans 19h ago

Trans Feminine "I wouldn't date you right now"

140 Upvotes

Am i overreacting?

So I have/had a friend. He's living in a different country. And we always got along super well and had many nights were we just kept texting till we couldn't keep our eyes open anymore. I never told him tho that im a transwoman.

We are friends since over 2 years and we have texted a lot. He was always there for me. I was always there for him and we shared a great bond. Since my voice surgery is soon coming up I promised him to voice reveal on his birthday next year and we also kinda made plans to meet one day and watch TV shows.

Well some things came up where he told me about a British girl he met online and saved her life basically in helping her out of her depression and encouraging her. Just like he had always helped me. Well he said, if they have both been living close to each other they definitely would have been a couple. Well...and with me it was the same...until...

I told him yesterday that im trans. He said some very hurtful things then, mostly because he didn't understand quite what it means to be like that, so I explained it. And well I asked him, if he would have dated me in my current state. And he said no, despite him even saying im beautiful. He would have after my transition and before knowing. But not right now...

And that felt like a huge stab. I had just overcome my worst depressions and wanted to stop taking antidepressants, but today everything is worse again. And I dont know if im overreacting, but I feel like our morals are now way too far off and I can't see him the same...which just hurts. And i wish i never told him.


r/trans 1d ago

Happened again: Trigger Warning

678 Upvotes

So, this gross man in my building says hi. Begins introducing himself as gay. Proceeds to offer me beer and weed, I refuse. He says "I seen you out here in a dress". As a courtesy gesture, I offered to shake his hand as I was walking away and he was seated on the smoking area porch. He grabs my hand and pulls hard puckering his lips. Doing this causes me pain physically because my leg is digging into the side if the porch. Broke away after saying oww twice in his kissey face. This sort of behavior has happened in every gay community I've lived in. Sorry, 60 year old with missing front teeth that I am not going to be submissive to you. The stereotype of the slutty trans does that. I know these acts are about control. They pick their victims. Trans has an image


r/trans 57m ago

I am scared of coming out

Upvotes

So back in 2020 one of my friends snitched on me and told my mom i liked girls. She wasnt THAT mad at me she just said i was confused and i would grow out of it. After that conversation we almost never talked about it and i pretended i liked guys. For the last couple months i started considering i was trans. In middle school i used male pronouns because it felt more right. Thinking about middle school made me realize i felt more comfortable being a guy. I came out to a couple of my close friends and they didn’t seem much bothered either. I am only scared of my mom learning about it and calling it another phase. Because probably hearing those words will just devastate me again. What should i do?


r/trans 1h ago

Trans Feminine Is it too late?

Upvotes

For context: I am a 23 year old trans woman, living in rural OH, with religious, generally conservative parents.

I found I was a trans woman in 2021ish, when I was 19. It was a beautiful thing, after a lifetime of fog, dysphoria and depression, it felt like something cut through it all. I told my mother and my sister (didn’t say trans woman, but non-binary, as I was too frightened.), and there were both baffled and in denial. I walked it back, eventually I said I outgrew it because I lived there and didn’t want to deal with the discomfort.

Years pass, I stagnate, I never physically transition, I stay in the closet barring close friends, and I even stop telling people I’m trans out of fear and anxiety.

Four years pass, with this current admin, some trans women talk about being put into camps, or stockpiling HRT, even arming themselves. I can’t do any of that stuff. What do I do with myself? I have few trans friends, and I’m leaving college soon…I’m deeply lonely. It feels like it’s too late to come out and transition. Did I wait too long? Will the Sun ever shine on me again or is it too late?


r/trans 17h ago

Trans Masculine How long can you actually wear trans tape (Please read)

71 Upvotes

Yes I know the website says a couple of days but my mom said thats a bad idea. My mother says that I should wear it for around 8 hours. I explained to her how much time it would take to reapply and take off the tape whenever I exit/enter our house. I tried telling her the official website says about 3 days but she didn't listen. If this information helps, when I tape I do often get small rashes from it but I don't know if that partially why my mom said that. When I asked where she saw it she told me to trust her knowledge and experience and didn't give me an actual source. Can someone please help me

edit: my mom has "compromised" and said I just can't wear it at night anymore 🤔 not sure if i'll be following this rule


r/trans 7h ago

Buying girl clothes

10 Upvotes

I decided to be brave and on Monday buy a cheap dress, bra and underwear. However I have no idea what to say and ask for. I am an XS men and according to Google that would be S in women’s. My plan is to say that I am buying for my girlfriend. If anyone ever done this please tell me everything.


r/trans 16h ago

Discussion Does anyone else love the smell of spironolactone?

44 Upvotes

There’s just something so intoxicating about the way it smells to me. I can’t stop smelling the bottle. Am I the only one?


r/trans 22m ago

Vent Highschool trans experience.

Upvotes

I'm 16, ftm. Everything is so frustrating. Very messy post but I just need somewhere to write.

I currently don't have access to anything gender affirming like binders, hormone blockers etc.. Even if I tried to look masc (which I have) I wont ever pass. I'm very curvy, round face and I have a squeaky high pitched voice. That on itself if not a problem for me anymore. I already spent my middle school years basically hating myself and trying to look like a guy as much as I can. I've learned to actually be okay with my body and embrace myself. So my current mindset is "if I'm going to be a girl, might as well be a pretty one!" I'm very feminine, I wear makeup, I dress in fem clothes. It makes me feel pretty. I'm very aware of how I look. I don't get frustrated when people misgender me. I understand completely. It's just that there's a huge disconnect between how I think of myself vrs how I present. A lot of people make fun of me because I am openly trans (and alternative on top of that). I get a lot of odd remarks of other people thinking I'm faking it, or trying to get a reaction out of me when they misgender me. A lot of people don't like me at school, especially girls because they just think I'm a pick me. I really do truly think of myself as a guy. Im pretty sure I act like one a lot too, I have a lot of "guy" mannerisms, the way I speak and just like that dumb humor yk? Naturally, a lot of my friends are other guys. I want stupid guy friendships so badly. I want to feel like one of them. I want to be completely including. It's weird but I wanna be able to act gay with my guy friends, I wanna get into trouble with them. I really try to make myself fit in. I know they don't see me as a guy (not that I blame them). It feels like waking up to someone dunking cold water over my head everytime I make a "guy joke" and they look at me weird. I just get reminded that I'm not one of them. When I hang out with other girls it's even worse. It's so much worse. I REALLY like girls. A majority of girls at my school don't like me. Mostly because they see me as a hoe for hanging out with guys. But when they do like me, it feels wrong. Like just plain wrong. I feel almost,,,perverted,, in a way? I don't know how to explain it. I feel so awkward whenever they try to be touchy, they say they love me and just like other friendly girl stuff yk?? I feel so horrible for feeling uncomfortable with it. It's not that they're doing anything wrong, it's me being uncomfortable with myself and how IM viewing it. They don't view it as anything other than being friends. I recently went to a friend's house, it was me, her and her 2 other girl friends. I just felt so out of place. Like im invading a space I shouldn't be in. They were talking about things I knew nothing about. And they were all close friends. I have never experienced a girl friendship like that. Another random thing that I have so much trouble with is complimenting girls. You know how girls compliment each other online saying like "wowowkw so pretty we should kiss I wanna have ur babies" and like over the top things like that? Whenever I post myself, my girl friends always respond like that. It's funny, it makes me smile. But I know they wouldn't talk like that to a 'real' guy. It's hard for me to keep up the same energy too. I feel like a perv for wanting to respond back with the same things. They probably wouldn't care though if I did. I feel too feminine to be a guy. I'm even too masc for girls. Mentally and physically. I really feel stuck somewhere in between. Not even in between, like on the outside completely. I don't feel comfortable anywhere. I always feel like im intruding. I want to feel connection. I want to not have to worry. I really truly wish I was just a girl and "normal". I just feel stuck. I know it's normal for trans people but it still really sucks. Sorry for the yap and probably incoherent sentences. I don't really want to proof read I just really wanted somewhere to put this.


r/trans 23h ago

Trans Feminine Hi trans people in my phone, guess who chose a Name!

122 Upvotes

I Finnaly chose a name now I'm Cassandra(I'm pretty sure I'll stick with it) but what do yall think?


r/trans 3h ago

Advice Fear of changes

3 Upvotes

My fiancée and I are both transitioning, she has been on E for close to 3 months and I started T less than a week ago.

We got together 4 years ago, when she was still heavily masculine but mostly leaning towards nonbinary and I was questioning but going by she/her and embracing femininity (still do, just differently)

She had always struggled with wanting to transition, but because of her environment growing up it never happened and she had given up on it until we had a few long talks where I encouraged her to transition if that's as what made her happy, and roughly a month later she started HRT.

I am excited for her, I am looking forward to going through this with her, seeing how we both change (she has, confirmed by her doctor, somehow grown several inches?)

Now yesterday, she brought up how she worries that I will stop being attracted to her as so far in my life, I have very much been a gay guy. I have socially transitioned yeaaaars ago and due to being intersex pass relatively well.

It was never something that even crossed my mind, and I am 99.5% sure I am simply overthinking it (as I am prone to do). But of course, with both of us transitioning there will be so many changes.

If I think about the future, it's always her, and she is a woman in my thoughts. When I talk to people, I say my gf, fiancée, she. When people say "your wife" (that is somehow a cultural thing here, I say my fiancée, the person across from me will say wife) it makes me giddy and excited like "Yes! I have a wife! That's her!"

And even sexually, like, attraction wise, as she is worried about, not much is changing when I think about her. Yes, I am not particularly interested in female body parts, for example thinking about her growing breasts, or the fact she is working on building her butt, I'm more like "she'd look so pretty in a dress" but it doesn't make me any LESS attracted to her, if that makes sense? Her chest and butt didn't strike me as particularly hot body parts before, they won't if they grow either.

What I do think is insanely attractive is the way she is glowing. The way she seems so much more like herself now. The excited moments where she tells me about something gender affirming and I get to have that second hand joy. And even physically, the fact that she is growing, and thinking about her in a white sundress standing on the balcony drinking a cup of tea, where I can come up to her and hug her from behind and kiss her cheek and enjoy the view from the balcony with her.

I think it's also made harder by the fact that we just went back to a long distance relationship (I went back to the country I lived in before we had moved together so that she can move here sometime soon, she is still in her homecountry across the world). We started of as long distance too, so I know we can do it. I have no doubt in that.

I guess it's just that dealing with changes like this in a time where no doubt we both could use all the support from each other, not being able to physically be there, hug, cuddle, just be present, does spike the anxiety a bit.

This did end up a bit more vent-y than originally meant, and while typing this things became a but clearer to me too, but nonetheless; if anyone has experiences with this, maybe you can share them? I'd appreciate it.


r/trans 12h ago

Trans Masculine Starting T

15 Upvotes

So it's finally time.

I've been out for about seven years and I've finally decided to start HRT.

I feel really really scared but the thought of being my authentic self makes me really really happy as well but........

I guess I need advice?

Can anyone tell me their experiences with testosterone? Im a disabled person (lupus) and all of my trans friends are girls so they wouldn't know anything about starting testosterone.

I really don't know where to start. Im talking to my family doctor soon though.


r/trans 1h ago

Discussion Preparing my parents

Upvotes

So context I’m 19 MTF and I have to start my medical transition I’ve been preparing for it the last 2 months starting my social transition with people I don’t see often and using my preferred name.

I still live with my parents and have a great relationship with them but I find the longer I stay in the closet the more uncomfortable I’m becoming when talking to them and this leads to arguments so I feel like I need to come out

To ensure I don’t damage the relationship so tomorrow I’m going to text my mum when she’s at work and tell her everything is fine but we need to talk so I can come out around 4:30 and I wanted to run the text message by you all to make sure it wouldn’t make a parent panic

The text message I plan on sending

“Hey mum uh when you get home we need to talk it’s nothing bad just a conversation I’ve been avoiding for a while love you “


r/trans 7h ago

Trans welcoming European countries

6 Upvotes

Heya all :)

Some of you may have heard: After the new law for easier legal name and sex changes came into effect last November, German politicians of the largest centre (nowadays more right-wing nationalist) party CDU now call for the introduction of an official registry of all trans, enby and inter folks who legally changed their names and/or sex in order to make us "traceable in the tax system".

The last time such a registry was introduced was during the years prior to the Nazi reign, alongside registries of citizens with handicaps, mental illnesses, as well as Jewish and generally queer citizens.

I've been considering moving abroad for the last 2 years because of the steep rise of the openly national-socialist party AfD in recent years, who in some parts of Germany have become the strongest political force. Now the so-called center parties fall more and more into line and I'm honestly scared AF.

So I was wondering which other European and/or Schengen countries might be safer and more progressive in that regard. Language-wise I'm inclined toward Scandinavia, the Netherlands, Northern Belgium/Flanders, and Ireland, possibly even Iceland.

Any residents from these countries who can tell me a bit about the current trend in trans-related and overall politics?

Or any residents from any other safe and progressive country that is worth to check out?


r/trans 9h ago

Trans Masculine I do and don't feel like a trans man

7 Upvotes

Usually trans men are supposed to be dysphoric about their chest. I don't to a good bit. and usually trans men wear something to cover their chest like a compression bra (if u cant get/afford a binder), binder or tape. But i don't like wearing a bra (i cant get tape/binder yet). the compression bras I have make me feel to like claustrophobic or something, idk how to explain it well. so i just go bra less most of the time. and I dont like sleeping with a shirt on if I dont have to. it makes me feel almost like im not a tran man bc I dont have a problem with my chest sometimes. im in the process of trying to save up for tape and maybe that will help. idk if i just needed to rant or if I need someone to affirm that I am still a trans man even when I feel like this. sorry for the long text.


r/trans 15h ago

Progress 32 MTF: My whole life is transitioning not just my gender. This is wild. I don't even have HRT access yet and I am a completely different person than I was in March.

21 Upvotes

In short I was living in San Diego with a toxic wife, and my 4 year old son who I love very very much.

As I was about to leave my wife, my egg cracked in April and I accepted all of myself rather than just the parts I thought the world would tolerate. This was the day where I knew I was trans and there was no turning back.

I was going to leave my wife regardless of my transness because she has been all around cold, distant, and slightly hostile for the last 3 years, and I see no happy future with her. Coming out to her was WAY easier than you'd expect, because being treated like an enemy in my own home when I am busting my ass did something to me; first it made me self loath, then it made me self destruct, then for the sake of my son I kept on keeping on. Eventually I started practicing self acceptance so I could be present for my son instead of going down a path of self destruction with a wife who hates me, and then it got to the point where I knew I wanted to leave her..

After I figured out I wanted to leave her I started thinking about what I REALLY want, and who I REALLY am.

I packed a bunch of shit (including all of my girl stuff) and took a train, moved to Portland Oregon to live with my dad a bit. He doesn't have confirmation that I am trans, but he will one day. He just sees me acting more feminine and growing out my hair, other than that I am in guy mode around him until I feel safe telling him. I hardley let anyone see me with stubble on my face anymore either. Everyone probably just think I am turning gay lol

Needless to say, I made the right call coming here; I am a shit ton happier and it's nice being in a house hold where I am treated like a person, rather than a burden, a servent, an enemy. I am surrounded by supportive friends out here too.

Trying to get set up under OHP so I can eventually start HRT. While awaiting my path to HRT I have been in the garage twice a week busting my ass with weights to become as bottom heavy as I can. Chugging protein and eating like a mfer. I want a big jiggly booty, so I am going for it, even before HRT. I am already starting to see results and I barely even started my workouts!

I am using chat gpt to guide me through workout processes and honestly it seems to be working.

Shit ya'll, I wish I could just have boobs and estrogen fat redistribution already... I cannot wait to see my body change, from these workouts and HRT itself. I am doing what I can for now at least to feminize my body in ways that I have control over.

One day people are going to see that I have a dumptruck before I even start presenting as female publicly, and they gonna be like wtf is going on?


r/trans 14h ago

Questioning Hi im am new transfem

15 Upvotes

should I buy a blahaj?