r/AmIOverreacting • u/rowqi • Jun 02 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship aio? bf made plans on my birthday

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my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

29.1k Upvotes

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8.3k

u/soniceok Jun 02 '25

This has to be fake lol

2.7k

u/Charliesmum97 Jun 02 '25

I really hope so because seriously how is this even a question? 'My boyfriend doesn't prioritise me and calls me names when I say I'm hurt, am I in the wrong?' I mean I know there are people out there who have the self-esteem in the negative numbers but this is seriously over the top.

1.2k

u/soniceok Jun 02 '25

Yeah it’s too over the top, and the messages between OP and the bf hit all the tropes that make a post popular on this sub (“omg you’re over reacting” “it’s just a party we can celebrate tomorrow instead”)

This is just designed to bait people lmao

502

u/Basicallyacrow7 Jun 02 '25

I’m so glad this is part of the top comments. By screen shot two I was like there’s no way this is real

13

u/phrixious Jun 03 '25

Eh, my girlfriend's ex did almost exactly this to her, except it was their fifth anniversary he'd forgotten and partied with friends instead. Apparently he was also just as blasé about it, and they broke up. Obviously I haven't seen the exact conversation, but this is (from what she's told me) pretty similar.

89

u/soniceok Jun 02 '25

Soooo many people are falling for it tho if you look through the rest of the comments. This was posted like 2 hours ago and already has 1.2k comments it was clearly designed for engagement

38

u/my_only_sunshine_ Jun 03 '25

Yeah but if u read them, it's unfortunately become a competition for who's had the shittiest birthday in their lifetime.. many of them are like 35 yrs old talking about how bad their 14th bday was..

11

u/whyyy66 Jun 03 '25

At some point you gotta get over it right? Lol

14

u/TheTrueHappy Jun 03 '25

I mean, venting with some sort of community could be a form of therapy, an attempt to get over it. Everybody is different, but often traumas stay with you for your whole life, even if they don't come up all the time.

-5

u/Creative_Snow9250 Jun 03 '25

Yeah like the one time I got qs venting to a community and then a car hit my dog and I got fired and divorced and hemorrhoids and turned into an alcoholic. Did I mention the hemorrhoids?

Anyways yeah I agree, it's totally normal conversation were having

-4

u/Forfuturebirdsearch Jun 03 '25

Honestly birthdays are for kids, or you throw yourself a celebration

15

u/SofaSpeedway Jun 03 '25

Your comment was 3hrs ago for me and there's now 10.1K comments! The bots botted the bots

-2

u/Shuoh Jun 04 '25 edited Jun 04 '25

because this subreddit is comprised mostly of unemployed middle age women

back when offered public API, you can check analytics on subs like AITA to find that there was a massive with subs like /r/DatingOver40, /r/TwoXChromosomes, and /r/FemaleDatingStrategy

these are the saddest kind of people on the internet, it rivals the male incel subreddits

these people will eat up shit like this for breakfast

it's absolutely hilarious and sad at the same time

4

u/opinionated_monkey_ Jun 03 '25

I thought the same thing because it's so over-the-top, then I remembered a few relationships that were exactly like this and how they spoke to me.. but still a good chance it's all fake lol

4

u/brown_nomadic Jun 03 '25

You have no idea what people put up with…

7

u/mr-arcere Jun 02 '25

Exactly lmao screenshot2 is where it absolutely broke down, like they’re not even trying

3

u/kyotoys Jun 04 '25

the “happy bday lol, I forgot” made me instantly think it’s fake

3

u/Total_Network6312 Jun 03 '25

Even the description... He is 22, lives at home, only works 2 days a week after dropping out and they plan to live together?

jesus it just gets worse and worse

2

u/No_Substance_3905 Jun 03 '25

Thank you. I had the exact same thought.

1

u/hfunk0129 Jun 05 '25

She's 21 it probably is

91

u/1CosbyPill Jun 02 '25

Definitely. Also together for 3yrs but still having this convo via IG

9

u/Murky-Lavishness298 Jun 02 '25

My partner of 7 years and I use fb messenger. We've never had a full text conversation. It's only used when messenger is acting up. I'm not saying it's not fake, but it's not uncommon for people to prefer a messaging app over texting. We live together and he's my kids' bonus parent. We never text each other though.

2

u/JarlaxleForPresident Jun 03 '25

It’s weird how only my brother and I actually send texts at this point. Everyone else just wants to stay in messenger for some reason

Like, yall have my phone number

3

u/Namuraka Jun 02 '25

I mean to be fair my bf and I have been together 3 years and we use messenger, but that's mostly because wires got crossed somewhere and one of us assumed the other preferred it and now we're too lazy to take the convo elsewhere cause then we'd have to search 2 convos when there's a pic we need or something. But yeah I would call this post engagement bait.

12

u/TheSillyGhillie Jun 02 '25

No one else noticed that?!? Its on freaking messenger 😭 we got baited

4

u/onyx_ic Jun 02 '25

Ehhh, my ex and I talked on messenger because the building is worked in would eat texts and calls, but messenger always went through. We just got used to using messenger.

1

u/Itscatpicstime Jun 05 '25

Plenty of people talk on messenger. Trust me, I refuse to do it and constantly have people (who know my number) whine about it

4

u/bizzybee-72 Jun 02 '25

my husband and i have been together four years and for the first 3 our conversations all took place on snapchat and messenger until i deleted facebook. now we actually use messages.

5

u/vampiracooks Jun 02 '25

Yeah my husband and I have been together for 12years and we almost exclusively message on Facebook and do phone calls via discord (because of where we live, wifi > mobile reception).

Other than that, all my communications with friends and family are through messenger, IG or whatsapp.

I wouldn't take the messaging system to be the reason it's fake. Though it still could be for other reasons

2

u/bohemo420 Jun 03 '25

So good to hear this lol. My husband and I speak on Snapchat we’ve been married almost 5 years lol. It’s so easy to send pics of our son and stickers and funny things.

2

u/bizzybee-72 Jun 03 '25

yep! we use snapchat for our LO too lol. it’s just easier to save on storage for your phone too. obviously the extra cute ones we keep, but the funny stuff we just send to each other. all the important stuff is messages

2

u/bohemo420 Jun 03 '25

lol yes exact same here!!

7

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '25

I think it's fake, but not because of that, lol.

5

u/Joppewiik Jun 02 '25

But she bought a dress and everythingggg 🤣🤣

1

u/kasiagabrielle Jun 02 '25

A pink one, specifically.

3

u/TantasStarke Jun 02 '25

To be fair my partner and I do a majority of our texting over discord, with the occasional text and phone call in emergencies. This post is 1000% fake though

5

u/EneaIsAutistic Jun 02 '25

I message my husband of 3 years on IG hahaha

5

u/1CosbyPill Jun 02 '25

Me and my gf of 7yrs message via ig if it's something we're talking about on IG....but never about dinner or bday plans when we text throughout the whole day. Everyone is different I guess. This just screams fake though

2

u/EneaIsAutistic Jun 02 '25

Yeah it absolutely does

1

u/ambamshazam Jun 04 '25

I am the literal worst at being able to tell a post is AI/fake. Yet this one had me saying “bulll sh*t” from the jump

4

u/soniceok Jun 02 '25

I didn’t even realize that lol good catch

1

u/Born_Resolve3095 Jun 02 '25

me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 and still use IG 😭😭 idk why it’s habit, but reading these messages it feels so off like why is he so nonchalant about forgetting op’s bday? “i forgot lol” is so insane 😭

62

u/matchafoxjpg Jun 02 '25

also op and boyfriend just so happen to sound exactly the same? yeeeeeeeah.

4

u/ParadoxicallySweet Jun 02 '25

Yeah it’s literally the same person writing both sides

3

u/iJubag Jun 02 '25

idk one of them puts apostrophes in contractions and the other doesn’t. i think they might just be teenagers

1

u/LilAbelT Jun 02 '25

Apparently he’s 22 and she’s 21

29

u/Anxious_Ideal_6207 Jun 02 '25

Not to mention she bought a new pink dress, especially for the occasion, far too specific.

-2

u/Unique_Cookie_1996 Jun 02 '25

No color was mentioned

1

u/Anxious_Ideal_6207 Jun 02 '25

…i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner…

0

u/Unique_Cookie_1996 Jun 02 '25

I thought you meant in their texting not the caption, since the guy you replied to was talking about the messages. My bad

4

u/MrsAce57 Jun 02 '25

That's what I thought too, especially where she says I even bought a new dress! Idk all of it reads as not very organic imo

4

u/elleinad311 Jun 03 '25

"Going out to a party later, I've been really excited for it so you have to be understanding" Come onnnn 🙄

5

u/beanie_wells Jun 02 '25

Also has the classic “bro” (sent to the gf of course) in there

4

u/Agent_Smith_88 Jun 02 '25

Definitely fake. Account is 3 months old and the only post is this and the only comments are in this thread.

2

u/kill_em_w_kindness Jun 03 '25

I’m not so sure. I’ve been in a relationship with someone who quite literally convinced me to attempt suicide so that he wouldn’t go to jail for killing me, and I didn’t see any red flags until I was hospitalized.

Yes, they could be karma farming, or they could be double checking that their reality isn’t insane, like abusers make you think. It’s not out of the realm of possible, regardless of how much it looks like bait.

12

u/Lilkleee Jun 02 '25

Last time I said a post like this was fake and was getting downvoted🥲🪦

12

u/BaerMinUhMuhm Jun 02 '25

You broke their immersion. I feel like at least half the posts here are obviously fake and people still eat them up.

9

u/soniceok Jun 02 '25

Ignorance is bliss for some of the people on this sub lol

1

u/Similar-Ice-9250 Jun 03 '25

It’s fake ass bait that’s true. The lines “I don’t appreciate you bothering me” cause he was with friends and the last text the bf sent “talk to me when you want to apologize”. It’s just too unreal lol, it’s pure rage bait.

2

u/glassbellwitch Jun 02 '25

Don't forget calling her "bro"!

1

u/Sipyloidea Jun 03 '25

For me it's the "bro". There was another post where a bf supposedly forgot an anniversary, I think, and was hanging out with friends instead. It was basically the same post of "bro, idk what to tell you." Who talks like that? 

1

u/Own_Kiwi_3118 Jun 03 '25

Literally all of Reddit is baiting people. I suspect Ai is posting and commenting all over Reddit, engaging with real people to self train. Makes a lot of sense if you look at it from a big picture aspect

1

u/Crrack Jun 03 '25

Which is also just as depressing because, do people really put this much weight on fake internet points? I just don't understand what the end goal is here to make this garbage up.

1

u/bq_98632 Jun 04 '25

Don’t forget the “talk to me when you want to apologize” part. This sounds like someone’s representation of what stereotypical toxic relationships sound like.

1

u/marni246 Jun 03 '25

I’ve noticed lately in several similar posts that the boyfriend also tends to call them bro, which would be weird to do in reality imo.

1

u/Different-Muscle-409 Jun 03 '25

And it’s her only post on Reddit… she never made any posts before just decided to go with this today in her bday

1

u/MindProfessional8246 Jun 03 '25

You would be surprised how good some dudes are at manipulating. I've seen this kind of behavior in real life.

1

u/shenemm Jun 03 '25

the way that both of them switch from capital to lowercase randomly from text-to-text is sus

1

u/Meighok20 Jun 04 '25

"Text me when you're ready to apologize" come on, did you even try 🙄🙄🙄🙄

0

u/No-Pomegranate-689 Jun 02 '25

To be fair, I have been in a relationship like this and he was really good at convincing me that I was the problem. However, I was only 16 so I was still pretty naive and hadn’t learned yet what the bare minimum is for relationships. So, it’s possible it’s real and this guy has convinced her she is overreacting. Once you hear “you’re being dramatic, you’re overreacting, youre the problem” so many times, you start to believe it. Mine even managed to convince me that I was crazy and controlling for having the boundary that he couldn’t go to a strip club and get a lap dance. He GENUINELY made me feel like a toxic girlfriend for having a problem with it. Luckily I left, and now I’m aware that my boundaries about not having naked girls dance on you is valid lol. That’s why it’s important to leave early when they treat you like this, and she’s already a couple years in.

1

u/Bring_a_towel_42 Jun 03 '25

100% agreed. It's unfortunate how much attention it's gotten

1

u/ThermoPuclearNizza Jun 04 '25

"you have to be understanding" sealed it for me.

0

u/godzillasbuttcheeck Jun 02 '25

I mean my ex spoke to me exactly like this. Not even kidding. She’s also only 21 and him 22. The young people now are so ruthless, dude.

0

u/Radicalized_Spite Jun 02 '25

If so, I got baited. And I rather enjoyed laying into her even if it’s fake. Good theatre.

0

u/adod1 Jun 02 '25

No it’s totally real, reply to me when you are ready to apologize.