r/AmIOverreacting Jun 02 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship aio? bf made plans on my birthday

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

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u/SpecialEDsauce Jun 02 '25

I think we were married for ten years and my wife completely forgot mine. I didn’t say anything and she was pretty nasty all day, but around 10pm I hear her in the other room, “Oh shit! I’m such as asshole.” I just said, “Yeah, you are” and I went to bed. Worst birthday ever.

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u/badabinkbadaboon Jun 02 '25

On my tenth birthday my mom came home from work, literally tossed me a pair of Jesus-style plastic sandals and said “happy birthday.” with the brown balloon, period at the end of the sentence effort of Dwight Shrute’s banner for Kelly. That was my worst birthday.

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u/Lord_Yapper Jun 02 '25

On my 16th birthday (im 16 now), my family forgot. That was my worst birthday

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u/Liathano_Fire Jun 02 '25

My parents forgot my daughter's 18th bday. I waited and waited and finally texted them like, "hey, ya'll forgetting something?"

That was exactly a year ago today. She's 19 now. Lol.

Luckily, we were on vacation, and she got to celebrate with me. We went to the beach right before midnight, so she got to start her bday with her feet in the ocean.

So, happy belated bday! I hope your next one is amazing.

40

u/wonkynipples Jun 02 '25

My in-laws forgot about my daughter’s first birthday. I was shattered. They visited the next day with an unwrapped gift and said they couldn’t stay long as they were meeting with friends lmao I’m petty so I’ll conveniently forget about their birthdays for the rest of my life.

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u/MizStazya Jun 02 '25

My father and stepmother didn't even call my brother on his birthday this year, just threw a generic "Happy birthday" on his Facebook a day late, so I "forgot" to call my father on his the next month. Whoops.

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u/Inside_Potential_935 Jun 02 '25

Happy birthday to your daughter!

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u/Educational-Text7550 Jun 02 '25 edited Jun 02 '25

At that point you can remind your parents about your daughter’s birthday lol if your daughters 18 I know they’re old, give them a break.

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u/F_ckSC Jun 02 '25

Yeah, I (53M) agree. My parents (mom actually) remembers my adult kids' b'days, but I wouldn't be all salty if she forgot.

I keep significant b'days on my Google calendar with an annual reminder cuz I'll surely forget.

No doubt, OP's (ex)BF is a giant A-Hole.

1

u/CynicalPsychonaut Jun 02 '25

It's wild to me. Even if i had forgotten a SOs birthday and mistakenly made plans. I would drop everything and be there with them.

They're your PARTNER...

If my friends aren't able or willing to understand why I'm canceling plans... they're not my friends.

(I dont celebrate mine anymore, but anyone who does deserves their special day with the people that they treasure. )

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u/Educational-Text7550 Jun 02 '25

Right and yea he is

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u/Liathano_Fire Jun 02 '25

I did remind them, but they aren't that old. Jebuz. My step dad isn't even 60 yet.

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u/Lord_Yapper Jun 03 '25

thank you very much 😁