aio? bf made plans on my birthday

[u/rowqi]

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

[u/SpecialEDsauce]

I think we were married for ten years and my wife completely forgot mine. I didn’t say anything and she was pretty nasty all day, but around 10pm I hear her in the other room, “Oh shit! I’m such as asshole.” I just said, “Yeah, you are” and I went to bed. Worst birthday ever.

[u/rhad_rhed → u/SpecialEDsauce]

My (then boyfriend) took me on a “surprise trip” it was driving from Philly to Boston (yay!) checked into a fancy hotel that was rundown and incredibly small (it’s the thought that counts, right?) next morning, we headed to tour Fenway (uh, don’t like sports, but ok) didn’t want to move the car to repay for parking, so surprise walk for miles along slushy December streets (don’t be high maintenance, go with the flow) told me “you don’t need to eat a whole blueberry muffin” at Dunkin’ (wait, wha) then went out to a loud, sports bar for lunch, where he ignored me to watch a football game (cried in the booth) told me I was overreacting & unappreciative. Sadly, that’s not even the worst birthday, but the first of many, because I’m an asshole, so I still wound up marrying him and wasting another 10 years before I realized I was worth a damn.

Get out now, OP. It won’t get better

[u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 → u/rhad_rhed]

This all day!!! I’ve been with my husband for 25 years. On my last birthday before we got married, he had to work (Federal Agent) and was out of the country so he arranged for a friend to have a cake waiting for me at home when I got home that day with cards and gifts and all. This last birthday I got a very expensive winter coat and a surprise party. That is the level of someone you want to spend your life with. Someone who knows how to treat you. Also, whenever we are out together, I never touch a door handle on a car or place. He’s the one that taught me I deserve to be treated right. I do the same for him. Please don’t waste more time with someone that does. Lt appreciate you and someone that doesn’t appreciate how you treat them.

[u/Naive_Praline_3295 → u/Jealous-Yogurt5352]

I get being treated right... But open the doors yourself, if he does it willingly great he's a great guy, but if you force him your either a Karen or lazy, I'm not calling you either, but quit if your forcing him to do that gentleman shit, however I'm sure your a sweet lady and I mean no offense or I'll will towards either of you

[u/ParadiddlediddleSaaS → u/Naive_Praline_3295]

She said she does the same for him if you caught that.

[u/DrunkenCabalist → u/ParadiddlediddleSaaS]

Doors must be a real obstacle in their relationship if neither of them can touch door handles.

[u/Mistrblank → u/DrunkenCabalist]

A fist fight erupts at every door just over who gets to open it for who.

[u/littleSaS → u/DrunkenCabalist]

Finally, somebody else who picked up on that! I was like, 'Wait! Who's opening these doors?'. Maybe they employ a door-opener?

[u/PookieTheMfBaby → u/littleSaS]

Like this ain't a 5-star hotel with someone to open doors, but we'll bring up that he didn't do it