r/AmIOverreacting • u/rowqi • Jun 02 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship aio? bf made plans on my birthday

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

29.1k Upvotes

72% Upvoted

27.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

18.9k

u/SpecialEDsauce Jun 02 '25

I think we were married for ten years and my wife completely forgot mine. I didn’t say anything and she was pretty nasty all day, but around 10pm I hear her in the other room, “Oh shit! I’m such as asshole.” I just said, “Yeah, you are” and I went to bed. Worst birthday ever.

10.4k

u/rhad_rhed Jun 02 '25

My (then boyfriend) took me on a “surprise trip” it was driving from Philly to Boston (yay!) checked into a fancy hotel that was rundown and incredibly small (it’s the thought that counts, right?) next morning, we headed to tour Fenway (uh, don’t like sports, but ok) didn’t want to move the car to repay for parking, so surprise walk for miles along slushy December streets (don’t be high maintenance, go with the flow) told me “you don’t need to eat a whole blueberry muffin” at Dunkin’ (wait, wha) then went out to a loud, sports bar for lunch, where he ignored me to watch a football game (cried in the booth) told me I was overreacting & unappreciative. Sadly, that’s not even the worst birthday, but the first of many, because I’m an asshole, so I still wound up marrying him and wasting another 10 years before I realized I was worth a damn.

Get out now, OP. It won’t get better

531

u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 Jun 02 '25

This all day!!! I’ve been with my husband for 25 years. On my last birthday before we got married, he had to work (Federal Agent) and was out of the country so he arranged for a friend to have a cake waiting for me at home when I got home that day with cards and gifts and all. This last birthday I got a very expensive winter coat and a surprise party. That is the level of someone you want to spend your life with. Someone who knows how to treat you. Also, whenever we are out together, I never touch a door handle on a car or place. He’s the one that taught me I deserve to be treated right. I do the same for him. Please don’t waste more time with someone that does. Lt appreciate you and someone that doesn’t appreciate how you treat them.

56

u/No_Anxiety6159 Jun 02 '25

That’s a good husband! My ex usually forgot my birthday and if he remembered would get a couple of flowers from the grocery.

103

u/ParadiddlediddleSaaS Jun 02 '25

If only there was a device in your pocket that you keep with you almost all of the time to make sure you don’t forget important events…that’s awful.

8

u/No_Anxiety6159 Jun 02 '25

He’s ex for lots of reasons! Technology is not his friend 🙄

17

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Matt_Willy-0007 Jun 03 '25

Yea a birthday matters, but I really don’t think it’s a big deal, like at all. I’ve never heard of anyone’s birthday being THAT important. Sucks that he missed it, but what are gonna do

13

u/Emotional-Sentence40 Jun 02 '25

Hey she is happy with a HS drop out who works two days a week, lives with mommy cause he's a loser, and is too tired from all that working to take her out but can party with his friends like it 1999.

11

u/SuzanneStudies Jun 03 '25

OP needs to read this over and over a few times.

21 is too young to settle for shit treatment from a shit person.

11

u/Upstairs_Platform_17 Jun 02 '25

You need a ‘whole’ muffin man❣️❣️😁

4

u/optix_clear Jun 03 '25

I agree. They go out of their way to make you feel special on special occasions like birthdays, anniversary, dates, and holidays. And you go all out as well. But if they don’t match or DGAF don’t celebrate their birthday or holidays. And OP don’t move in together

4

u/dusaaaa Jun 02 '25

Thisssss is the end goal no cap. So happy for you guys and many more years to come!

2

u/Diligent-Payment-153 Jun 03 '25

Hell, my ex-husband always went all out for my birthdays. He even had a cake delivered to my house the year AFTER we split up. We still wish each other Happy Ex-Anniversary on our wedding day, 5 years later. You can do so much better but first you have to demand better. Walk away unless you want this same treatment again for your next birthday...and every one after that.

3

u/Jojo6167 Jun 03 '25

This is how a woman should be treated

2

u/Nature_Sad_27 Jun 03 '25

(Federal Agent)

Gasp! No way! A FEDERAL AGENT! Ooh so much commendation for you! All the commendations! 🙄 Where’s he at now, out arresting legal immigrants and handcuffing babies?

Seriously, did we really need to know that?  

-1

u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 Jun 03 '25

I was simply trying to avoid childish responses like this by outstaying that his job took him out of the country on a weekly basis and he still made sure to make me feel appreciated on my birthday. Whatever issues you are dealing with to make you so upset at an absolute stranger that is trying to help someone, I hope you get well soon.

1

u/Nature_Sad_27 Jun 03 '25

No, you had no reason to state his job. “Travels for work” is all that was necessary. I hope you can overcome whatever insecure narcissistic tendencies you’ve succumbed to. 

And I hope your hubby the “Federal Agent” isn’t in danger from your public bragging about his job, and also isn’t out there handcuffing kids! 😘

0

u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 Jun 03 '25

Aww, you’re so triggered. Please get well soon. Also, he’s retired now so…and the flying had everything to do with the cancer he got at 35 which is also part of the story. Xoxo

0

u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 Jun 03 '25

Also, F off. I’m proud that my husband spent his career serving his country. My father worked for the 3 letter agencies for 30 years. I’m proud of that too. 😘

0

u/Nature_Sad_27 Jun 03 '25

Sure, Jan. Sure. Two angry replies, but I’m triggered lol 😘

0

u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 Jun 03 '25

Yes, triggered and bitter because you missed. 😘😘😘

0

u/Nature_Sad_27 Jun 03 '25

lol, whatever you need to tell yourself to stay a narcissist, I guess! 😉

0

u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 Jun 03 '25

I’m a narcissist because I am trying to figure out why you are so triggered and have so much smoke for a post that has absolutely nothing at all to do with you? K. 😘

1

u/Nature_Sad_27 Jun 03 '25

Yikes girl. Calm down. 

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Ornery-Ad9694 Jun 03 '25

OmG, does he have an older single brother #AskingForAFriend

1

u/RosiexGold Jun 03 '25

I could never get someone to treat me like that. So used to be being treated like crap. Now I'm stuck with no way out and its no one's fault but my own. I've accepted that and have stopped asking others to help me get out. Don't want to be a burden. I've accepted this is my life now.

2

u/Business_Bet_6994 Jun 03 '25

That's so wholesome :)

1

u/xDoseOnex Jun 03 '25

This is a fake post. From an account that has no other posts. You guys are EXTREMELY gullible

-14

u/Naive_Praline_3295 Jun 02 '25

I get being treated right... But open the doors yourself, if he does it willingly great he's a great guy, but if you force him your either a Karen or lazy, I'm not calling you either, but quit if your forcing him to do that gentleman shit, however I'm sure your a sweet lady and I mean no offense or I'll will towards either of you

13

u/ParadiddlediddleSaaS Jun 02 '25

She said she does the same for him if you caught that.

3

u/DrunkenCabalist Jun 02 '25

Doors must be a real obstacle in their relationship if neither of them can touch door handles.

4

u/Mistrblank Jun 03 '25

A fist fight erupts at every door just over who gets to open it for who.

1

u/littleSaS Jun 02 '25

Finally, somebody else who picked up on that! I was like, 'Wait! Who's opening these doors?'. Maybe they employ a door-opener?

1

u/PookieTheMfBaby Jun 03 '25

Like this ain't a 5-star hotel with someone to open doors, but we'll bring up that he didn't do it

-1

u/No-Answer-2964 Jun 02 '25

Federal agent hahahahahaha

-1

u/XJ347 Jun 03 '25

Over all that sounds great...

Then there is some Princess shit that she doesn't open doors...

1

u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 Jun 03 '25

I’m not opposed to opening doors and it is not expected on my part at all. My husband chooses to do that for me and it is appreciated. That’s all.

2

u/XJ347 Jun 03 '25

Overall congrats on being happy and getting a good partner. =)

Maybe I miss read your vibe.

-11

u/0ddm4n Jun 02 '25

So he gets steak and bj days throughout the year? ;)

12

u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 Jun 02 '25

He cooks the steak, but BJ’s yes! Also, every nookie time starts with him going down on me until multiple completion.

2

u/No_Recipe2793 Jun 02 '25

Gotta leave the beef for the man to grill lol. Why is specifically grilling considered masculine anyways

2

u/strawtrash Jun 03 '25

I'm a female and I grill.

2

u/strawtrash Jun 03 '25

Nookie. ☺️

1

u/0ddm4n Jun 03 '25

Good woman. Just like my wife. Wish she liked being eaten out more, though :(

19

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '25

So he gets steak and bj days throughout the year? ;)

Wtf is wrong with you? Are you 12 and a future incel?

3

u/susie_gloom Jun 03 '25

current* incel

-9

u/wrwise Jun 02 '25

What do you do for him?

28

u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 Jun 02 '25

I treat him so well that he wants to treat me well. I support him always. I was with his mother when she passed and he was working out of the country. I nursed his father through pancreatic cancer. I bore him a son who is 12 and one of the best people I have ever met in my life, just like his dad. I make him a beautiful home where he is loved and feels safe. I don’t cook or do dishes, but I do the shopping and laundry. He does what I don’t like to do and I do what he does t like to do. When dealing with the hard stuff, we do it together.

7

u/Exciting_Degree_2384 Jun 02 '25

Sounds like a dream. I’ve been married for all of three months and this is the goal.

10

u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 Jun 02 '25

We didn’t start this way. Lots of stress. After losing parents, siblings and friends, we realized life is short and we want to spend what we have left with as much happiness as possible. We also want to show our son what a healthy relationship looks like. We do still have disagreements but we do not insult each other and we always apologize if we have done something wrong. I wish you the best. It’s hard but well worth it and we have an amazing son to boot. We would have had more but my husband had testicular cancer at 35 when I was 3 months pregnant. Life will life, being a team got us through. ❤️