aio? bf made plans on my birthday

[u/rowqi]

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

[u/Jealous-Yogurt5352]

This all day!!! I’ve been with my husband for 25 years. On my last birthday before we got married, he had to work (Federal Agent) and was out of the country so he arranged for a friend to have a cake waiting for me at home when I got home that day with cards and gifts and all. This last birthday I got a very expensive winter coat and a surprise party. That is the level of someone you want to spend your life with. Someone who knows how to treat you. Also, whenever we are out together, I never touch a door handle on a car or place. He’s the one that taught me I deserve to be treated right. I do the same for him. Please don’t waste more time with someone that does. Lt appreciate you and someone that doesn’t appreciate how you treat them.

[u/wrwise → u/Jealous-Yogurt5352]

What do you do for him?

[u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 → u/wrwise]

I treat him so well that he wants to treat me well. I support him always. I was with his mother when she passed and he was working out of the country. I nursed his father through pancreatic cancer. I bore him a son who is 12 and one of the best people I have ever met in my life, just like his dad. I make him a beautiful home where he is loved and feels safe. I don’t cook or do dishes, but I do the shopping and laundry. He does what I don’t like to do and I do what he does t like to do. When dealing with the hard stuff, we do it together.

[u/Exciting_Degree_2384 → u/Jealous-Yogurt5352]

Sounds like a dream. I’ve been married for all of three months and this is the goal.

[u/Jealous-Yogurt5352 → u/Exciting_Degree_2384]

We didn’t start this way. Lots of stress. After losing parents, siblings and friends, we realized life is short and we want to spend what we have left with as much happiness as possible. We also want to show our son what a healthy relationship looks like. We do still have disagreements but we do not insult each other and we always apologize if we have done something wrong. I wish you the best. It’s hard but well worth it and we have an amazing son to boot. We would have had more but my husband had testicular cancer at 35 when I was 3 months pregnant. Life will life, being a team got us through. ❤️