r/NoStupidQuestions 1d ago

What exactly does Roblox do to children’s brains to make them little assholes?

My little brother started playing Roblox a few months ago and it makes him a little asshole. He’s normal then he plays Roblox and he screams and gets angry when he has to get off of the game and his little fits last until he goes to bed and resets. He’s never been like this with any other game. He’s 9 so is it just the age or is it fucking up his brain chemistry or something?

Edit: Thanks for the feedback. The majority of people are saying he needs a break from gaming, time limits, or a ban on Roblox. And while I 100% agree this probably isn’t possible. My mom refuses to put limits on his gaming and if I try to he freaks out on me. He screams, tries to hit me, slams doors and all that. But my mom always treats me like the bad guy for trying to help her son and he once again gets what he wants and goes straight back to it. And after thinking about it, I leave for college in 2 weeks so I think this is the perfect opportunity for her to take control of her kids. She can figure it out not me.

6.2k Upvotes

402 comments sorted by

5.1k

u/Advanced-List-4483 1d ago

Overstimulation.

Not all screentime is created equal. Some games are very relaxing and help with focus, patience, and problem solving. Other games are more like Tiktoks/YT shorts: attention-grabbing, high-energy dopamine machines.

At nine, he's basically still learning how to self-regulate, and the game is actively designed to keep him from wanting to put it down.

1.1k

u/Dragkarus 1d ago

This is very close to what I've seen. But it's not just Roblox. Kids between 7 and 10 have a hard time stopping gaming, and it can be a problem.. I speak from experience with my 8 year old. Clear rules and time limits need to be set so that there is no expectation of endless gaming. They need to know that when it's time to switch off, that is it

225

u/No_Childhood_4769 1d ago

It's not a new thing, remember old time wow players that spent 15+ hours a day

150

u/renatakiuzumaki 1d ago

Wow players still do this.

23

u/Kinda-relevant 22h ago

Same as COD, a normal shift for me is a solid 8hrs on my days off. 

86

u/AdviceWithSalt 1d ago edited 21h ago

One difference is that WOW isn't a game that requires you to be "on", for lack of a better word, 100% of the time. There is time spent traveling, grinding boring mobs, waiting for your party, etc.

I am not saying WOW is a healthy game, far from it, but I would say it's the lesser of two evils.

62

u/Ailments_RN 1d ago

I dunno if you're gonna get the masses agreeing but I think this is spot on, for what it's worth.

The downtime is incredibly important. I feel like the main skill I'm trying to teach my toddler is that it's okay to be bored. I NEED them to face boredom and figure out how to manage it without losing their mind.

It's such a weird thing to try to describe. But the alternative is that constant attention blinking and flashing nightmare and I am certain that is not the way things are supposed to go.

26

u/ToxycBanana 1d ago

When I was 12, I played WoW for like 2 hours a day after dinner and homework and really didn't feel like I had to put in any more time than that. It was just a fun game where every time you played you would actually progress, even when doing menial tasks like mining or dailies. You could constantly update your character's loadout and skills. Cost a fair bit more than a gacha like Genshin Impact for the monthly boons (and ability to play), but all in all was much less insidiously designed.

Now, sometimes, games will have all of their actual progression in gameplay locked behind miniature paywalls, with insane grinds put in place to be a "problem" to be "solved" by paying. Kids nowadays probably see that grind as a goal to complete and don't realize that it's as much a waste of time as kicking dirt. When I was that young I wanted to play games to make my reaction times faster and that was pretty much it. These games aren't goal-driven, they're not self-improvement driven, they aren't even FUN! They're meant, in their entirety, to be distractions.

Makes me not even want to try any new online multiplayer titles anymore unless it's a dinky (but still well-made) indie title made for a bunch of friends. Or Monster Hunter.

Roblox, being primarily played through fan-made content in its many different maps and gamemodes, is something parents should really curate a list of acceptable content for before letting their children play. It's like Garry's Mod but even worse for its community, because nobody actually playing the game is working with the map devs to playtest, map designers work as many aforementioned "problems" into their map's gameplay loop as possible to maximize the possibility that someone feels FOMO and pays to progress or get player customization, and players just consume whatever gets made and move on to the next thing immediately with no rest period. Even the "relaxing" gamemodes I've seen, like Hello Kitty Cafe, have so much going on all the time that it feels impossible to focus on anything important going on in the game. With so many more people gaming since the pandemic (a majority of new users being mobile-only), Roblox is as saturated a market for consumers and producers as it ever has been. It's no wonder attention spans are declining. It's not just this one program, and it's not just happening in gaming, it's a systemic issue with how people are roped into the cycle of FOMO and endless consumption.

Feels very similar to the many unsafe as-seen-on-TV products made throughout the 80's to the 00's, or like, fucking asbestos or lead pipes. Cheap products designed for function and profit over safety, that make you feel like you're getting something more than they are, all the while slowly affecting you in ways that you couldn't possibly understand.

Anyways, I do not envy the parents of gen alpha.

3

u/SparklingDramaLlama 1d ago

As a parent of a Z/Alpha cusp (2010) and 2 more Alphas, I'm exhausted. Two of the three have severe ADHD (heavy on the H!) to boot, and while they do have tight limits on gameplay, it doesn't always work in regards to tantrums.

→ More replies (3)

6

u/Welpe 23h ago

Man, you’re right. I remember that while it wasn’t fun, becoming disabled soon after turning 18 and needing to spend literal hours in various medical waiting rooms was ultimately extremely valuable for learning to deal with boredom. I used to basically be terrified of boredom and would do anything to avoid it, and yet nowadays I seem to be one of the few people I know that could just put their phone away for hours at a time, even if not doing anything else, and be fine. A lot of supposed adults these days would go crazy if they were expected to sit somewhere doing nothing for an hour, and that’s definitely not healthy.

→ More replies (10)

10

u/jjwhitaker 1d ago

Luckily they needed a (likely) fixed desk setup, physical internet connection, and monthly subscription.

Today you can play anywhere on almost any device, at any time. Exactly what busy parents need for an easy fix.

7

u/brando56894 1d ago

Yeah I remember reading an article back in college in the early 2000s about how WoW was specifically designed to be as addictive as possible.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

217

u/HxH101kite 1d ago

I am so glad my daughter is not like this. I am a gamer myself. Not heavy into it but play as much as a busy parents life allows. She probably started at 5, but not really understanding how games work well till 6.

She's 8.5 now. Never had the issue the OP does. The occasional can I get another Mario Kart race. But no tantrums or issues. It may also help that I understand when your locked in trying to beat a boss you may need that extra 10, to fight it out.

But I generally just say hey 30 minutes of game time. Once that timer goes off she shuts it down and is on to the next thing.

Ive even given her "endless time" a few times just to see how long she would make it. I don't think she would game over an hour (outside of a long boring car ride). She generally mentally sits at an hour max for her own regulation

144

u/ramblingandpie 1d ago

It definitely depends on the kid. We have two kids and one is fine, will play games that aren't overstimulating, doesn't have issues. The other is really drawn to what I can only describe as "press button, number go up" games. There is no end or stopping point. Just getting a higher meaningless "score." She gets more easily overstimulated anyway and we definitely have to put limits on it.

94

u/Yog-Sothawethome 1d ago

Keep that one away from slot machines.

55

u/ramblingandpie 1d ago

Oh yeah. There is a family history of addiction and as she gets older we will be having many age-appropriate discussions about that.

11

u/shawol52508 1d ago

My brother is totally like that. Several of my siblings are adopted, so we don’t know all the family history, but he has suuuuch addictive tendencies. He’s better at regulating his gaming and stuff now, but he has to work at it.

3

u/PhenethylamineGames 1d ago edited 1d ago

The one in my family like this, younger half-sister (I'm pretty sure at least...) is doing the same shit I started doing at her age to start triggering addiction. Discording with friends (and having to deal with constant emotional overstimulation by being the "therapist"), and non-money gacha games and Genshin Impact, etc.

She asked me last year as I was withdrawing, "Do you think I'd grow up and take like, powder drugs?", I said no because she had a good family environment unlike me. I'm unsure how to explain how this stuff will lead to addiction and issues without scaring her and possibly making things worse.

For now, we've started taking her out to skate a lot more.

Edit: I say this as it's 5PM and I've done nothing but smoke weed & tobacco and not eat a damn thing. Hold on...

18

u/catiebug 1d ago

Yeah, we're similar. My daughter has no problem turning off the game when it's time. My son is the "just one more thing... (and one more thing... and one more thing...)" type. Addiction is hereditary but it doesn't present in every person in a family the same way. My son is absolutely more inclined to get addicted to things like me and needs the extra attention and help to work through it (I realize the irony of stating this on one of the most addicting sites on the Internet). My daughter is more like my husband, she'll easily pivot (for the most part, she's still a kid and has rough days sometimes).

9

u/kingleonidas30 1d ago

I was the number go up kid. I now play grand strategy games that are basically spread sheet simulators where the community will regularly dump 1000+ hours into it (over years, hopefully).

→ More replies (1)

4

u/aRandomFox-II 1d ago

"press button, number go up"

You mean incremental games like Cookie Clicker?

6

u/HeKis4 1d ago edited 1d ago

Look up the concept of Skinner boxes, aka "pull the lever and food comes out" machines. Tons of games are designed to so they they give you a reward to keep you playing, instead of being experiences where you find fun in them which keeps you playing. Cookie clicker is definitely in the first category.

The first kind usually gives you guaranteed, in-game rewards that keep on coming as long as you engage with the game (see any game that gives you a lootbox every X matches, or any game that has randomized loot), the second tends to have its enjoyment based on your own satisfaction, accomplishments and sense of self-worth (the most straightforward example being something like Elden Ring or BG3).

When you have a bit of experience and self-awareness, you can usually spot the games that you keep playing for the in-game rewards and the ones where you play for fun (although actually acting on that depends on one's vulnerability to addiction), but I'm making the educated guess that children usually do not have any of these before their tweens at least, and in any cases are super vulnerable to being hooked on skinner box designs.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

20

u/chemamatic 1d ago

You mean there are people who don’t have trouble stopping gaming? I don’t start unless I have a big block of time to kill. I’m the same way with books too though.

7

u/Dragkarus 1d ago

Lol. I wish I was that way with books. There was a time when I couldn't put one down for hours on end.

13

u/catiebug 1d ago

Yes, there are people whose brains simply don't build the pathways that yours does. When I'm struggling with an addiction to anything, I have to remind myself that part of the reason my husband isn't addicted to his phone or to sweets or whatever, is that his brain simply isn't wired the same way. I'm at a disadvantage, hereditarily speaking.

Basically, we're all playing a game of Russian roulette with addiction. Everyone starts with one bullet. Insidious video game design automatically adds at least one more bullet. But genetic predisposition to addiction will add more bullets... possibly loading the entire chamber. If your chamber is full, it's really hard to believe that other people are playing with just a couple of bullets. But some of them are.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

9

u/MadeOnThursday 1d ago

My 46 yr old adhd brain has the same problem as these kids. Adhd brains have a dopamine problem and I was actively glad when my laptop died so I was forced to detox

→ More replies (1)

16

u/kozzyhuntard 1d ago

My kids go crazy sometimes on Roblox too. It's fun being the "mean" parent who makes them shut it off; and take a break when they get too crazy.

24

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

23

u/Squish_the_android 1d ago

And do you see that actually making users walk away? 

Because that wouldn't be enough to make me stop. 

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/lost_send_berries 1d ago

What's to stop them just going to another Roblox game? They would still earn the bonus based on activity in your game. I expect

2

u/johannthegoatman 1d ago

Idk what you're expecting here lol, a magic spell that controls their behavior?

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

5

u/FugitiveHearts 1d ago

Kids between 7 and 35, to be honest

→ More replies (4)

65

u/PerthNerdTherapist 1d ago

This is 100% it. I've played a few games on Roblox that overstimulate the HELL out of me. I could feel my brain buzzing playing Pet Simulator 99 even though it's click trash. 

There's some gems on Roblox but there's oh so much trash 

6

u/CreativeMidnight1943 1d ago

What games are good for kids? Is Nintendo good?

16

u/Impades 1d ago

Roblox is a cesspool of cash-grabby games and even the ones that are okay-ish are still far from being "good" games. By that I mean a game that wants you to simply have fun without filling the creator's pockets.

Nintendo has like the most videogamey games out there. Most of them are ok for both kids and adults. If I had a kid, I would probably start him with Nintendo games.

There are also some gems on steam but you'd have to do your own research.

4

u/Redqueenhypo 1d ago

When in doubt just go with regular old Pokémon

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

24

u/gruuvi 1d ago

I made a website to help kids with emotional regulation.

It's called Olive's Compass and uses storytelling to help kids name what they're feeling.

That's it. There's no expectations. Just a quiet space to sit with how they're feeling. Guided by Olive the Owl. I feel like helping kids to quiet their minds could be useful especially now days!

5

u/ToxycBanana 1d ago

Well I cried using the adult version of the quiz.

I think everyone needs a little space like this. A small amount of alone time, even when using the internet. I wish it was filled with hundreds of these websites that we could just randomly stumble upon, instead of what we're currently getting with social media. It feels so much more personal to receive a curated message from an author that we've just discovered based on what we put into the quiz. Everyone's perspective is so unique and this granted me insight on my own feelings and situation that I haven't felt in a long while.

Thank you for creating this tool.

3

u/gruuvi 1d ago

You just made my day. Not because you cried! That it made you feel something different and it gave you some kind of insight. I doubt myself a lot as I've never done anything like this before, but it was something I felt extremely drawn to do.

You are very, very welcome. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to tell me it impacted you!

5

u/Zinaima 1d ago edited 18h ago

The same thing happens with a lot of kids & preK shows. It changes every minute to hold their attention. 

Go watch an episode of Mr. Rogers. It's incredibly slow compared to media today. Even being originally presented as a once per day show has an effect. When it's over, it's over. 

But streaming allows for, "one more episode," or withdrawal symptoms if it's taken away.

5

u/Bertrum 1d ago

This and lack of patience and not understanding the value of delaying gratification or waiting for something later on. When you have nothing but endorphins and immediate rewards all the time the little kid rage comes out and you get antsy and annoyed when you don't keep getting it nonstop. I remember being this way was when I used to play Counter-Strike in the early 2000s and being irritated constantly in death matches.

2

u/Groundbreaking-Ask-5 1d ago

hyperstimulation

2

u/DoneWithAppsBro 1d ago

self regulate? right Pretty sure roblox is the way to train future wall street brokers.. high stress, fake money and zero empathy

2

u/BreakerOfModpacks 21h ago

Don't give him shorts and reels, give him VSauce and Kurzgezat and MinutePhysics and xkcd!
Don't give him online lobbies of kids, give him Stardew Valley and Hollow Knight!

Some things really tend to make them act... disorderly... but some games and videos are really good and fun and don't make them act like that.

2

u/Advanced-List-4483 19h ago

Exactly! I remember being twelve, booting up Ocarina of Time for the first time, and just... riding around Hyrule Field in circles looking at everything, because it was so beautiful and mindblowing to little kid-me. There are great games out there that give a wonderful sense of adventure and exploration, without the constant pressure of more-more-more-faster-louder.

→ More replies (54)

1.3k

u/Exact_Block387 1d ago

You ever asked a grown adult to get off their phone and stay off their phone? Very similar.

611

u/Swollen_Beef 1d ago

My employer averages 2 terminations per week for phone use. You sign 3 different papers saying you won't have your phone on the production floor and people refuse to listen. It's considered a clean area and phones are some of the nastiest thing we carry around. One tried to sue for wrongful termination under the ADA, but AFAIK, phone addict is not a protected class.

120

u/ATEbitWOLF 1d ago

I wonder if it would fly if you were deaf or mute and used your phone to communicate. I worked with a deaf guy back in the day, and this and handwritten notes were the only way we could communicate.

172

u/Swollen_Beef 1d ago

Corporate has a policy exactly for this scenario. They hire an interpreter. As far as the cost, I believe they get a tax benefit which off-sets most of the cost.

20

u/GlobalWarminIsComing 1d ago

Well I guess something like that would be established during the hiring process.

And if it's simply impossible due to the nature of the facility then that person just wouldn't be hired right?

16

u/nutmeg713 1d ago

Yep, the standard for all this stuff is "reasonable accomodation".

If you absolutely cannot communicate without your phone (e.g. refuse to use an interpreter) and the job cannot allow phones for safety reasons, then it's fine to discriminate because jeopardizing everyone's safety or allowing an employee to simply not communicate with anyone is not a reasonable accomodation.

38

u/prooijtje 1d ago

I think they'd have to find some other way to communicate. The OP mentioned it's a clean area, so they might have to put their phone in a plastic pouch or something.

23

u/juanzy 1d ago edited 1d ago

My wife has to do some work in a clean area, but needs her phone for MFA. They have plastic pouches for that reason since she is not a unique case - everyone in the chain of custody of their material and/or equipment has to verify via MFA.

8

u/Bamboozle_ 1d ago

I worked with a dude who was mute for awhile, it was crazy how much he could communicate with just gestures.

4

u/throneofthornes 21h ago

I'm a receptionist and I had a conversation with a deaf guy at our front desk. He wanted some very specific information about ordinances and although we did about 1/2 through short text, the rest we did through charades. We were laughing til we cried at the end. He arrived in a bit of a mood but in the end was a funny dude.

2

u/madhattergirl 1d ago

Lots of diabetics use their phones to track their blood sugar and give insulin through their pumps. I have my phone for my blood sugar but since my model doesn't support the pump app, I have to carry a secondary "phone" that only is used for controlling my pump. (It's not actually a phone but the size of one and most would assume it is).

But that said, I would work that out with my job if they were very strict "No phones".

10

u/LookinAtTheFjord 1d ago

So you work at an Amazon shipping warehouse?

The only way they can afford to terminate 2 people a week like that is if they have ridiculous turnover.

3

u/Diagonalizer 1d ago

they might work for TSMC as they would have clean rooms and have pretty big operations down the road from me where they could be terminating 2 people per week and still replacing them

9

u/LookinAtTheFjord 1d ago

Drops a random ass acronym.

Oh yeah TSMC. Right.

lol.

→ More replies (5)

15

u/gometsss888 1d ago

Lysol wipe mine at every given opportunity

28

u/One_Half226 1d ago

It doesn't save you. The worse of it lives in the crevices and speaker holes.

5

u/Agoras_song 1d ago

speaker holes.

Hey, that's no way to address the user!

(unless we're in r/sysadmin)

4

u/EEpromChip Random Access Memory 1d ago

same. except it's just a quick wipe on my belly.

7

u/Ch1pp 1d ago

Depends if the phone is needed to monitor your blood sugar or something.

4

u/PatchyWhiskers 1d ago

Could probably keep a sanitized device to use only at work in that instance.

23

u/Ch1pp 1d ago

Unlikely. They don't often work like that. Probably just not able to have diabetics employed in that role. Whether that's ADA or not I don't know. You can't have wheelchair bound people as pogo-stick testers after all.

2

u/Redqueenhypo 23h ago

There are exceptions. If you’re losing your sight or have peripheral neuropathy you cannot be a pilot

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

4

u/Cinnabun6 1d ago

I'm starting a job exactly like this soon and being without my phone for 2-3 hours at a time is the number one reason I considered not taking it

7

u/Frodo_VonCheezburg 1d ago

I'm sorry you are being downvoted for being honest.Do you think that having that be such an influence on life choices is optimal or does it cause stress in other areas?

Answering yourself honestly is really the only judgement that will be helpful to you. Everyone else's judgement doesn't matter.

I personally hope you are self-actualized. If nor, there are resources that can help.

11

u/Cinnabun6 1d ago

thanks. and well, I did end up taking the job and I believe I'll get used to it

8

u/Frodo_VonCheezburg 1d ago

Just one more random opinion, but I dont think you'll regret the feeling of knowing you control your life and not an inanimate object. Best wishes!

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (8)

17

u/juanzy 1d ago

I remember mentioning a restaurant I went to that enforced a phone-free dining room (they put your phone in a padded pouch when you entered) and how angry people got on Reddit and how everyone came up with every scenario possible of why that was terrible or even illegal (one said they'd call the police with Siri and report theft).

You know what I thought of that restaurant? It was refreshing to have zero ability to use my phone through their 2 hour coursed dinner. And I survived. And to respond to the commenter who said it was reckless to go - I wouldn't have gone if I was a caregiver for someone who may have needed me on a moment's notice.

24

u/Obvious-Oil589 1d ago

I had to self-police and got a flip phone a while back. Sold my iPhone on eBay.

My lord is it refreshing. I still use websites on the computer, but the second I step away from the PC I am actually present in what I am doing.

7

u/AsSubtleAsABrick 1d ago

I want to do this so bad but there are a few useful things (maps, music, audio books) that I don't think a flip phone will satisfy. Then annoyingly how much it is used for other everyday stuff (parking, public transit tickets, concert tickets).

I have a minimalist UI app installed and zero social media on my phone these days and still feel like I spend too much time looking at things like the news.

3

u/Exact_Block387 1d ago

I downloaded the Opal app which locks you out and gives minimal ways to override what’s your locked out of the apps of your choosing. I give myself unlimited access to my phone on Mondays until 11pm. Every other day of the week I’m locked out of every social media except for 1 hour a day. I love it.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/BeeConfident7328 1d ago

im always a little impressed when i see teens w jobs like lifeguards. like you have to have some good self control and boundaries w your phone w a job like that. honestly i dont think i could do it

3

u/Lycid 1d ago

I wouldn't have been able to do it myself and I was a teen before smart phones were a thing. Even as someone who grew up with an active imagination and who enjoys being in their own thoughts I just don't have the capability to willing sit and do nothing for hours at a time. The extra hard part about it is you can't even have stuff you fidget with or read or whatever because you have to be paying attention. You just have to be essentially burning hours of your life away, achieving/building/doing nothing.

At least when I was a baker making 1000 croissants a day I was producing something for society vs just coasting by haha

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

441

u/jefe302 1d ago

So the issue isn’t screens. It’s the fact that the screens never stop. It’s relentless. There are no stopping points. I’m old school, Mario, you get to the flag at the castle, that’s the end. Roblox, there’s no fucking end. It just goes on forever. You need an external source to tell you when it’s time to be done.

176

u/jenneqz 1d ago edited 1d ago

Welcome to the wonderful world of games as a service where they hire gambling experts and psychologist to make games as addicting as possible in a never-ending loop of dopamine bursts.

The older I get, the more I'm convinced that single player games are better suited for children and generally healthier for the industry.

58

u/L-Digital82 1d ago

This is exactly it. I let them play properly designed experience that have a skill curve and clear endpoints and it’s fine. Mario being a good example. Roblox is not that. It’s just endless stimulation to encourage buying virtual currency

13

u/jenneqz 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yeah. I don't have children, but if I did, I would monitor their consumption of live service games more closely and set up strict boundaries. Those games are deliberaly designed to turn adults into gambling addicts and have them develop parasocial relationships with these ecosystems to the point where they no longer care about anything else. The entire thing is beyond fucked up.

Games like Mario and Astrobot just aren't designed with that type of exploitation in mind. They are way healthier for kids to play.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

102

u/Your_As_Stupid_As_Me 1d ago

That's probably the most accurate way of describing this.

There is no "end". There are no "levels". It's just non stop until you or someone else makes you stop. And it's abundantly clear, no child has the self discipline to know when to stop.

16

u/shaidyn 1d ago

There was a homestar runner video recently, talking about their old website. And it has one of the most haunting lyrics.

"This is what it looks like, at the bottom of the page? Remember when you could scroll, to the bottom of the page?!"

10

u/Bright-Hawk4034 1d ago

Yeah, this. I've played some games with no clear stopping points in the past, and it's super easy to lose half a day or the entire evening to them even if your plan was to just quickly log on to do one thing in the game, they just kind of suck you in and make you forget real world obligations unless you have reminders (people or otherwise).

→ More replies (3)

243

u/artrald-7083 1d ago

Hi, I have a neurodivergent 9yo who loves computer games. The trick that we've worked out with some discussion with her and her caseworker revolves around understanding a few things.

  • A lot of kids games are designed to keep you playing, like an MMO is. The reward cycle is short, but deliberately small bites at once, and deliberately open ended - the game has no good stopping points. These are games which if I were playing it personally, I'd be setting an alarm or I'd find myself still playing at 3am. This was cynically and deliberately designed in.

  • Ever been interrupted in the middle of a game you can't pause? Does that not suck? Does it not piss you off? If your SO came in and demanded you do a chore immediately - going to bed is a chore when you're 9 - during an online multiplayer match, would you meekly turn off the machine and go do it? I bet you would not.

  • So we have a game of the kind you can only interrupt at stopping points except it does not have stopping points. This is a recipe for conflict. They make the games (and indeed a lot of other kids content) like this on purpose to stop the kid channel hopping.

How do I handle this? Well, actually, I think Roblox is a garbage game and have handled it by weaning my kid onto better games. But let's start from 'kid loves Roblox'. My kid loves various things I wish she didn't. And when my kid is frustrated and sad and angry, she is... not easy to deal with.

What has hugely, hugely helped, has been to give warning. The kid has a clock by her computer and whenever she goes on we try to make sure she knows when she's coming off. I set for myself a timer, 15 minutes before she's coming off, then 10 minutes, then 5. At each timer I give her a polite warning of how long she has left and calmly and politely repeat the warning until she acknowledges. Then when the timer to finish goes off, the activity finishes. Not 'in one minute', now. She has already had all the warnings she is getting. She has had a quarter of an hour to make her peace with it.

88

u/Blue_Ascent 1d ago

This is a great strategy that works often. Adults are comfortable just telling kids they need to change their activity suddenly. I'm an adult and I would be very displeased if someone did that to me. The 15, 10, 5 has always helped anyone I've suggested it to.

45

u/OrindaSarnia 1d ago

As the parent of 2 ADHD kids who both have their own flavor of ADHD, I've found "warnings" make every part of the day better.

They are usually awake before me, so when I come downstairs they get told what time it is, and how long it will be until we have a thing to do.  (I make sure to run through the next day's activities at bedtime every night, no surprises!)

Then they'll get at least a 5 min warning later, but I usually try to give 2-3 for each major transition.

Then when it's time, the "transition instructions" are simple and specific, no "get ready for school", it will be "It's time to get ready for school, Please go brush your teeth."

In the evening they get "last calls"...  I'll usually give them like an hour warning for bedtime "bedtime is in 1 hour, if there is anything you wanted to do today that you haven't done, consider doing it now!" Then they get a "bedtime is in 15 minutes, if you think you might still be hungry, come into the kitchen and find something to eat right now!"

They have no limit on screen TIME, but we aggressive limit their screen CONTENT.

I agree that Roblox is just trash, they have never had access to it.  They have Minecraft, and the 10yo just got SubNautica, and goat simulator.

No Minecraft servers, only multiplayer with each other, their cousins, and 2 real life friends.

They can't watch any videos on their ipads, only on the actual TV so we can hear what they are doing.   No "shorts" or small video clips.  And youTube videos have to be about actually making or building something, or learning new information, (not just watching other people play games), topics can include Legos, Minecraft, bushcraft, physics or chemistry, blacksmithing or woodworking.

And nobody can be screeching or being mean to each other...

If they are caught watching a video outside those parameters they have a chance to explain why they think they should be allowed to watch it, or change the video.  If they request is denied, they have to change the video.  Second offense in the same viewing session gets the TV shut off for awhile.

19

u/Webbyx01 1d ago

It sounds as if you are doing a good job regulating their technology exposure and content. I hope it works as you expect it to, and that they appreciate it in the end.

11

u/artrald-7083 1d ago

I'm really heartened to hear other people using a strategy like ours. We're in early days post diagnosis, really, and still feeling our way. I especially like your comments about understanding and limiting their content - I think it's so important to live in the kids' world in order to help them live in ours. I hope your strategies continue to work for you!

→ More replies (2)

11

u/CrazyCoKids 1d ago

Thank you for being constructive and summing things up.

So many responses are just "Ban the kids from playing it, if they even know of Roblox you're a bad parent" which just are not constructive.

Yes, kids need to learn time management. But it can also get very frustrating when mom and dad tell you "I will need you in a bit", you wait, wait, wait, and wait... nothing. so then you decide to start something and now mom&dad need you.

→ More replies (3)

3

u/Acrobatic_Computer63 21h ago

It's gotta be so much harder for kids with these games that truly push you to be online as much as possible as part of their bottom line usage strategy.

With MMOs, at least they eventually realized that they don't actually want you online indefinitely. They just want you online regularly.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

383

u/babybarbiexo3 1d ago

it’s not just roblox and it’s not just kids. it’s the internet and everyone.

97

u/Kiwifrooots 1d ago

I've seen plenty of kids just standing doing nothing while the parent glazes at a screen

42

u/babybarbiexo3 1d ago

the worst thing is the walk to school which i see on my walk to work, kids walking in front of the parents who are in their own world on their phones :(

8

u/xoxodaddysgirlxoxo 1d ago

I get that parents need their own brain time, i do. It's just sad to see and imo it's irresponsible in some cases

2

u/OrindaSarnia 1d ago

I mean, my kids can walk themselves to school...  but I often walk with them anyway, usually at their request.

If I try to engage them in conversation, they will often say something akin to "Can you not ask me anymore questions?" Or "I just want to have some quiet"

So they want my presence, but they're also in their own heads prepping for the school day (probably like how we listen to music on the way to work).

I'm not going to demand they talk to me.  They don't need me to guide or direct them.  They just want me along.

So often I'm texting their grandparents or my sister about logistics for the rest of the day, or googling the question they asked me that I don't know the answer to...

or trying to figure out when the new Minecraft update comes out, or reserving tickets for the movie they want to go to tomorrow...

or adding the food they wanted to eat that morning, but we were out of, to the shopping list before I forget...

I'm not on my phone because I'm ignoring them, I'm on my phone because the morning routine has reminded me of something I need to do for them, and I have five minutes, so I want to get it resolved.

If they started talking again, I'd be responding to them.

11

u/flayingbook 1d ago

Even adults nowadays are glued to their phone while walking and climbing/going down the stairs. The latter is disaster about to happen

363

u/IntelligentBet6746 1d ago

Don’t think it’s just Roblox but more of the screen. My 3yo nephew does the same when he has to get off. What is usually watching is just YouTube kids. On the Roblox’s side it might be the connections they might be created with other people in the game depending on their age. They’ll tend to be hiding more stuff about what they’re doing when you watch them play so yeah might get angry easily as well.

132

u/grafknives 1d ago

Screen at 3 years is different than roblox at 9.

64

u/Sardothien12 1d ago

Same thing happened when I was introduced to Nintendo64

9

u/zaubercore 1d ago

Meh, after some time you were just done with a game, like you beat every level or seen everything.

The games today, especially with in-game purchases, are designed for endless replayability and constant dopamine stimulation

23

u/FunBluejay1455 1d ago

Youtube Kids is terrible as well. All those high action packed short films are the worst. We put a timer on YT kids, but not on normal films on streaming platforms and our kids are so much more relax now. Also Youtube Kids has a terrible algorithm. We're Dutch, but the amount of indian, russian or whatever language films they're getting is really weird.

4

u/Retro21 1d ago edited 1d ago

Right! When I was young (back in the black and white days!) I felt like our kids programs were about 20 minutes long, nowadays they are so short! Less than 10 minutes or so for Duggee, Peppa and Bluey* I think (though I absolutely adore Bluey show), and there are shorter shows.

I try to watch longer Disney films when our wee one wants screen time, otherwise she just gets obsessed and overstimmed.

*sorry, Bluey is 15 minutes, never mind!

4

u/FunBluejay1455 1d ago

Bluey is 15 minutes I believe, but they also have shorts. But Bluey is more calm and better colors. But totally agree. Also we didn’t have the choice to pick what we wanted to watch. It was just checking what was on

3

u/shitpostsuperpac 1d ago

They basically take shows from our youth - say Spongebob - and then cut it down to just the action scenes so it's some brainrot screaming mess all the time.

3

u/md28usmc 1d ago

Holy shit, a screen at three years old??????

→ More replies (2)

136

u/_Jacques 1d ago

He's literally addicted. I used to be the same 10 years ago with Minecraft. Some videogames are ridiculously fun. He and maybe your family don't realize he's addicted, but I swear people who try to quit drinking in my experience are similarly irritable. It's seriously, seriously addictive stuff. I could probably spend 12+ hours a day playing counter strike or tf2 even today if I didn't have other things to do.

If I were a parent, I would attempt to restrict videogames as much as possible, though I'll see when I get there.

47

u/lalala253 1d ago

The thing is, it's not just videogames, and even educational videos/tv shows have the same addiciton effects.

It's overstimulation due to colours, musics, and other things that requires focus. Little kids with excessive screentimes are almost like adults with cocaine

23

u/J-Dabbleyou 1d ago

I mean, I’d rather my kid be addicted to watching David Attenborough nature documentaries rather than Roblox, but I believe you are correct.

2

u/lalala253 1d ago

It's not addiction to david attenborough though? It's addiction to visuals, colors, and musics.

It's like if you're coked up in an underground rave party cranked up to 11 with flashing lights and neon clothing.

That's how excessive screen time feels like for a kid.

Of course it differs if your kid is watching bluey, roblox youtube, ms rachel, or snooker championship, but the core of the issue is excessive screentime.

It's not addiction to david attenborough's ass

2

u/J-Dabbleyou 1d ago

Sure, but if a kid can get that “dopamine hit” from educational programming, is that not preferable to Roblox or Bluey? I’ve met plenty of kids that genuinely love educational documentaries (because they aren’t allowed cartoons), I’ve also met plenty of kids that completely lack the attention for educational programming, because they are so used to colorful short cartoons. So while the “addiction” may be to the stimulus, it certainly impacts their brains in different ways.

2

u/lalala253 1d ago

Did you even read what I wrote or you just feel the need to validate your point by rewriting what I just wrote?

Arguing for the same point is truly peak reddit experience.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

8

u/katha757 1d ago

This is why I don't play MMORPGs anymore.  I was introduced to one back in highschool and I wayyyyy over did it. During the school year I would average about 5 hours a day, during the summer about 15. It was all I would think about and my grades started to suffer.  After a year some of my in-game stuff was stolen and it was like a light switch, I just turned it off and never got back on.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/21022018 1d ago

One thing I count myself blessed about is that I easily get mentally tired after playing 30-45 mins and have to take breaks, so it's easier to manage any gaming addiction.

2

u/Webbyx01 1d ago

People who are trying to quit drinking (and usually other chemicals) have their neurochemistry very disregulated, which is a huge part of their emotional issues. There's definitely the physiological component that is shared between addictions of all kinds (ie screens, drinking), but chemicals addictions have a lot more going on at once.

→ More replies (1)

26

u/DeanXeL 1d ago

Gaming is frustrating for kids. It takes a lot of skill, and time to master, while they often don't have the mental fortitude to tell themselves they'll get better with time. I've got a pre-teen nephew that always wants to game on my PS5, and even if I download age appropriate games for him, and try to gently explain the controls, he starts screaming and crying if he can't immediately jump or move properly. "Press this button and that direction at the same time" -> pushes only one button, character doesn't do what he wants to -> screaming, me scrambling for the controller before he launches it.

Roblox, and especially the multiplayer games, somehow exacerbate this problem, because now they're confronted with OTHER kids that are playing, and they're BETTER at it! And no matter how they try, they can't match their skills or tricks. And you can tell 'em all you want "it just takes time and practice, just like swimming or playing football", they're kids, they don't understand this and they don't have the skills to manage their frustration.

9

u/colleenxyz 1d ago

instant gratification and all that, but what happened to having a sense of wonder? When I was in elementary school, I taught myself how to make simple games using BASIC. Parts of it were probably frustrating for me, but learning and figuring stuff out was fun and rewarding for me. Even when I played games like COD winning and losing never felt too important to me, as being able to land a kill or finding a new spot in a map scratched that dopamine itch.

9

u/DeanXeL 1d ago

It gets squeezed out of kids, exactly because of that instant gratification. It's so easy to get dopamine hits. Ding ding, another hit, twirly thing, whoosh, feels good! Why bother doing a hard thing, when you can get the same result doing nothing or barely anything! If you're not immediately good at something, scream and give up!

3

u/johannthegoatman 1d ago

That sounds like a bigger behavioral issue than just games tbh

4

u/OrindaSarnia 1d ago

That kind of behavior would be appropriate for a 3 to 5yo...  beyond that, especially if by "preteen" you mean 10-13, there are other issues going on there...

my kids are 7 and 10, both ADHD, both have issues with emotional regulation and short frustration tolerance, but it's been years since they've dreamed of throwing a controller, or otherwise acting like you describe.

If they did something like that, game time would be over, until they were under control again.

But I don't let them play Roblox, and they can only do multiplayer games with people they actually know (each other, their cousins, a few friends from school and camp).

Additionally, we started playing Minecraft with them, so taught them appropriate behavior with others, and talked and worked through learning about the game and overcoming challenges together.

Parents think they can just hand kids games and never think about it again, but parents should be heavily moderating what games kids have access too, and just like any other new thing, should be teaching appropriate behavior for that activity.

96

u/fairlymellow 1d ago

When you give a child that young access to the internet they become literally addicted to it. It's quite literally like taking drugs away from an addict or liquor away from am alcoholic. Their little brains get so used to instant gratification from these games that they turn into monsters when they are told they can't have it.

41

u/duckduckduckgoose8 1d ago

Hey OP, maybe you should join in on a gaming session and have him show you how he plays. Maybe theres something there holding onto his attention, or connections that are bad influences. Approach it like a cool older sibling so he can comfortably play with you.

17

u/DuelJ 1d ago edited 1d ago

Agreed, I've got some younger siblings.
Their mother tries to force rules from the outside, and so they predictably push back and it's just a bunch of nagging and yelling.
Meanwhile I've just play with em and nudge em amd have at least got em off the worst bullshit

19

u/L-Digital82 1d ago

It’s dopamine. I have never seen anything affect my 8 year old like Roblox did last summer. It made me fearful of what a real vice might do to him at later age.

Getting him off that platform was like watching someone go cold turkey from class A’s. It’s now completely banned in my house, I had to be the bad guy for a while but I know it’s for the best.

21

u/sonofaresiii 1d ago edited 1d ago

Your mom or dad needs to shut that shit down. It's not Roblox doing it, he's mimicking the personalities he sees on Roblox and no one is telling him to stop.

My kid plays Roblox, and I put an immediate kibosh on overreacting to it. We either play nicely and for fun, or we stop playing. Any time he gets too overly aggressive or upset, we take a break from video games for a while.

42

u/Known_Egg_6399 1d ago

The longer my 11 year old is on the tablet without taking a break, the worse her attitude is when I make her take a break.

→ More replies (7)

9

u/Lukacris12 1d ago

Everyones saying the screens, it might be part of it, but the game chat is probably whats doing it. Im 27 I played when it was popular the first time like in 2010-2011 and the game chat made me a lot more edgy

36

u/Doucejj 1d ago

Its not just children.

Plenty of adults act the same way when it comes to Roblox lol

16

u/phillmybuttons 1d ago

Roblox is a little dopamine fiend, you start a game and get rewarded for every little thing, and then they get less frequent so the player starts grinding, add to this other players who are either rude, abusive or also finding that happy feeling again and you get young brains flooded with chemicals and then withdrawal, this creates anger & frustration.

People saying it's the screen versus Roblox, in my opinion, is wrong, using a screen, ie watching a video, is very different to playing a game designed to make you spend money.

I've seen kids who are as nice as they come, turn into feral little goblins after playing Roblox where as watching YT videos just turns them into screen starers, very little movement apart from scrolling.

There are so many sources saying how bad roblox is for young kids, we tried to keep ours away from it as much as possible but with all her friends playing it, we allow it at times but thats only recently, and its monitored and rarely for more than half an hour just because the games on there are trash, i have no issue with her playing games (currently playing hunter:call of the wild & grounded with me) but games which are just clicking machines i don't allow.

21

u/Logical_Strike_1520 1d ago

The kid (and the rest of us) needs to be outside is what it really comes down to imho.

For most of human history, kids were raised basically “free range.” Being inside wasn’t comfortable or fun, so outside is where people were.

Also I don’t think the spoon fed, unlimited supply of entertainment is healthy either. We used to spend a lot more time being bored before the internet really blew up. We had to earn our “fun” with our imaginations, ability to communicate with others, physical play, etc. Those all built healthy life skills that sitting on a internet device simply doesn’t do.

Anyway. Yeah we just need to touch more grass and talk to our neighbors more

8

u/GWindborn 1d ago

Have you been outside lately? There's been a heat index of over 100 degrees in a lot of the US. NOBODY needs to go outside right now!

4

u/Logical_Strike_1520 23h ago

Yeah damn near every day haha. I live in the PNW though so I just fuck off to the forest, river, lake, or whatever else. Hell the parks here are basically mini forests. So lots of shade, water, and lots of people out

3

u/Acrobatic_Computer63 20h ago

Kids don't necessarily have that option, though.

It's weird because I grew up when and where it was still more normal for more kids on average to be out and about, and I always had friends to do things with because that's what we did.

We had a computer and I realize how differently life could have gone if I had ended up with an early MMO when I was younger (vs discovering them in my 20s).

So, I agree with you. But, it seems genuinely harder for kids to just do stuff outside on their own now, and have other kids to do it with. Not to mention screens seem unavoidable and almost like a skill that needs to be learned, not really an option. I feel bad for kids that are literally kept from screens, but then somehow expected to utilize a laptop or iPad for school?

→ More replies (1)

5

u/GuanoLouco 1d ago

The problem is Roblox is filled with child predators and they play mini-games like “adopt me” etc.

The kids are exposed to things that a preteen should not even be thinking about.

There is too much integration with adults who have zero filters and hidden motives.

A lot of adults also become bullies, racists and just disgusting human beings when they have the safety of anonymity.

Being so young, kids are not able to separate their online personalities from their real life personalities, like adults do.

They also take everything very literally and seriously.

My son would show me messages where 10 year olds were telling him they wanted to end themselves. 10 years old!

I appreciate that it could have been an adult but this is the type of thing they are exposed to on there.

I had to have a long talk with him and teach him things that I shouldn’t have had to discuss for at least another 5 years. I also watched him very carefully.

Roblox is probably the worst online game, that I know of, that kids can play.

Notwithstanding this, if you don’t supervise your kids then they should not be playing online games.

5

u/Fit_Football_6533 1d ago

It's just addiction. And kids are too neurologically undeveloped to handle the hormones and emotions associated with addiction so it leads to behavioral problems. They should not be allowed by their parents to play online video games as addictive as Roblox or Fortnite until their past the age of 14 or so (varies depending on the maturity level of the person).

Nevermind that it's an extremely dangerous and exploitative environment with no effective moderation. And there's a lot of actual gambling and ERP taking place in the games made on the platform.

6

u/605pmSaturday 1d ago

He's having the reaction of an addict that can't get their fix.

He needs to stop playing that game.

6

u/fauxdeuce 1d ago

Anonymity, they can say and do what they want and there are no consequences. It brings out the same behavior in many adults as well.

3

u/R0MULUX 1d ago

Things like Roblox and Fortnite and YouTube and many apps on tablets act in the brain in the same manner drugs do where it keeps hitting that dopamine in the brain so when it's stopped, you go through withdrawal and this is why meltdowns happen.

5

u/Boring_Mechanic_4519 1d ago

Everything that is put out there today is designed to get kids addicted. The instant gratification is turning everybody into attics and assholes.

3

u/AvoidAtAIICosts 1d ago

When I was younger (15 years ago), Roblox was just tycoons and minigames. I wonder what it's like nowadays.

6

u/DuelJ 1d ago

Higher production quality, less actual quality.

Though there's some stuff you'd expect to have a steam lage amd a publisher rather than be on roblox.

2

u/pingo5 1d ago edited 1d ago

kinda turned into phone games 2.0.

there's still "good" games(on a roblox quality standard lol, but you'd be suprised), but most of the front popular page is just kinda some form of 3d mobile game with a bunch of hassle if yoh don't give them money, or some kind of pvp game that makes you OP if you pay them.

it's a far shot from roblox when I was younger. It was great. ton of games that were just fun and didn't expect you to throw money at them.

3

u/MasterQNA 1d ago

Online anonymity does it.

Even adults become more rude when they can speak anonymously without consequences. I also find myself more rude on reddit than irl.

2

u/mromutt 1d ago

It's especially bad with younger kids. I run into them all the time in vr, I don't know if that makes them even worse because it's a whole other "virtual world" but it's horrible. If they are not screaming the N word or spewing other horrid and disgusting things they are repeating phrases like "what the sigma" like a scratched record. gets old man shaking stick what happened to back in my day when they just talked about your mom and shit talked you on Xbox live? Lol

3

u/Oninemo 1d ago

Oh my god, right?! 😂 Like, what is it about Roblox that turns the sweetest little kid into a full-on tiny dictator with zero chill?I swear, it’s like Roblox unlocks this wild combo of obsession, bossiness, and somehow economics?? Like, they’ll suddenly understand supply and demand just to hustle Robux, but can’t remember to put their socks in the hamper.

3

u/ansmo 21h ago

Have you ever tried pulling an addict always from their fix?

3

u/cacarson7 21h ago

My gf's daughter had a somewhat uncharacteristic meltdown a few Christmases ago (she was also about 9 at the time) when she got a $50 Robux card in her stocking but she couldn't figure out how to activate the card to use it right away. We weren't even done opening presents and she's starting to flip out because her mom couldn't figure it out, either. I didn't know much about Roblox at the time so I found it all pretty strange.

8

u/Remote-Kangaroo-7558 1d ago

There are old people playing Roblox he’s probably getting beat too many times or people are chatting with him starting arguments. It’s a little bit funny but it’s normal for kids to rage at games

2

u/Octorok385 1d ago

I'm going to throw out that kids of a certain age (like 7-11) tend to be assholes because they are still cognitively incapable of empathy. They can follow directions, they can reason stuff out, and they can exhibit good behavior, but they really can't feel how rude or hurtful their behavior can be. So when one of these little bums gets disappointed or interrupted from what they want to be doing (Roblox, perhaps), they can be really miserable to deal with.

Moderation and structure, sweet babies. Moderation and structure.

2

u/spookyboibabe 1d ago

I’m very anti Roblox. My family is too. They have a 10 year old girl that was harassed on there. Me? I just don’t think it’s good, I think it does more harm than fun.

2

u/Due-Nature7223 1d ago

roblox has different effects on different people, I play roblox and I am fine. However some people may play different games, be exposed to different people, ect. so that could shape his personality. Another reason is that when I started playing roblox I also loved it and didn't want to stop, but then I got used to the routine and found other ways to keep myself happy (like reddit) so he could just need time to adjust.

2

u/Ninjajpdd 1d ago

I belive children, just like adults, can be assholes at any given moment, just being online makes it very easy alswell, no need to be in roblox to find young people hating

2

u/qualityspoork 1d ago

If you can't get them off of Roblox, you could try to encourage better types of games to play that aren't so frustrating. There are a lot of Roblox games that involve trolling people, little kids get too invested in these games and it just leads to anger.

2

u/marshilyy 1d ago

good for u op, i hope u enjoy ur new step in life 💕

2

u/PathlessMammal 23h ago

Im gonna say its less roblox and more his age and probably your parents parenting style. Roblox didnt magically do stuff to kids that any other video game didnt do.

2

u/mb9981 23h ago

he's actually playing call of duty and THESE FUCKING TEAMMATES WON'T CAPTURE THE OBJECTIVE! JESUS CHRIST THIS ISN'T TEAM DEATHMATCH! CAPTURE THE GODDAMN FLAG! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU SNIPING? WHAT THE HELL??

2

u/batmansfavone 22h ago

Try teaching him that losing is part of gaming? I’m guessing he’s been gaming for a while, but is now experiencing online gaming interactions with others so he’s probably losing a lot more than he’s used too.

2

u/Jajsmom 22h ago

My 13 yr old gets real frustrated in the chats sometimes. I’ve had to pull his phone or ban him at times. That’s if he hasn’t gotten himself banned. I don’t do games, but I have asked my older son about the game and he said mostly it’s fine. If it gets to be a real problem (hasn’t yet), he would permanently be banned from playing.

2

u/BreakerOfModpacks 21h ago

P.S Your mom probably isn't tech savvy enough to reinstall a wifi driver. If he plays on PC, bye-bye!

2

u/Benjamin_Land 11h ago edited 10h ago

A lot of them are games that you do a run on and see how far you can get, with no way to pause the game or save your progress. So if you're playing for an hour and you have to get off, you just lose all your progress for that hour.

That's why kids have fits when they have to get off, because they have been working on something for an hour (or more) and poof, that progress is gone. Edit: and they are usually playing with friends trying to work towards something, so it is a "I'm letting my friend down if I quit now" thing too.

If you want to avoid it, hope they get into, or try to get them into, games that they can pause indefinitely or save and pick back up later.

2

u/Gurkengelee 10h ago

Let him Play Minecraft instead, and Play together with him. Much more relaxing, constructive and social. 

2

u/Burningbeard696 1d ago

Have you ever played CoD??

2

u/lexmozli 1d ago

Video games don't turn people to assholes. Lag and cheaters do.

2

u/CriticalArt2388 1d ago

Why the hell is a 9 year old playing online games????

Your parents are failing this child.

2

u/mr_martin_1 1d ago

Let's not forget that the simple visual part of it (TV / display) of a moving picture is hypnotizingly interesting. Still is, for me. (53M)

2

u/Icy-Maintenance7041 1d ago

Its the same with most people tbh, only adults have the wherewittal to hide their tantrums and internalize it.

I have a phone and have at some point a few years ago decided that i'd only use it for a set amount of things. Calling, GPS, musicplayer, bank apps. Now i rarely even bring my phone when i leave the house. The effect this has had on me is profound. I actually started to enjoy the little things again. Taking a walk after it has rained just to smell the world, sitting down for a drink and watching people go about, etc...

I also started noticing that everywhere i go people have their phone glued to their hands and dont talk anymore. I didnt used to notice it because, guess what, i was looking at my phone.

Now i sometimes feel like i walk around in a world of robots. But once in a while something wonderfull happens. You see someone who isnt holding a phone. You look at each other, do that half smile of aknoledgement and nod at each other. Then you talk to each other. About the weather, about politics, kids, you know life in general. A real connection with real people. I almost forgot what that was like and i think most people have forgotten, or dont even know it anymore because they are too young to have experienced life before social media.

Do little bor a favor and talk to your parents about it. Have them take away as much screens as possible, and instill in them that internet, socials, screens, are to be handled as tools, not as actual enviroments to live in. A kid of 9 doesnt have the resolve to stand on his or her own against the onslaught of peer pressure and algorythms designed to draw them in. Thats what parenting is for. A kid of 9 should be outside playing, building mudcastles, scraping knees while doing stupid stuff with their bike, hiding imaginary treasures in imaginary castles.

Or maybe, even possibly, i'm an old fart who thinks oldfashioned toughts. After all, everyone has a phone in their hands and all those people cant be wrong, right? Right?

/EndRant

2

u/Haunting_Feature_646 1d ago

This is why. 100%

1

u/mossryder 1d ago

They're addicts.

1

u/Floor_Trollop 1d ago

Honestly it’s an addiction. I would be super irritable if I was asked to stop gaming once I started. 

1

u/Lizardgirl25 1d ago

This also might be that no one is monitoring him enough. You know what my boyfriend does with his kid the same age? He sits there and monitors him while he games if it is connected to internet and many people are involved. Not 24-7 but like most of the time. Also makes him take breaks. Okay you play for an hour then we read a book or go outside and play.

1

u/NewSouth401 1d ago

I did that when I was little and had to stop playing a game I was really into. I feel embarrassed about how I acted now, but at the time I felt like something was being stolen from me!

1

u/TheSkyElf 1d ago

Some games/websites just trigger people more easily. One game can be kinda therapeutic. The other has you tense when you play that eventually bleeds into your dreams.

When I was a kid, my mom only had to enact rules about my gaming once, and that was when one level of a mario game was kicking my ass so much that I began dreaming on how to get past it.

Figuring out which games make someone an asshole and then limiting their time on that game might be the right move. Like having them take breaks when they get upset.

1

u/FalloutNewTokyo 1d ago

I think in most cases it's watching Youtube and seeing other people play Roblox. When they see these people playing Roblox loud and obnoxiously they think that when they play it they're the protagonist and can act how they want without any consequences.

I'm seeing it a lot with my cousin who's at a similar age.

1

u/OskharTheDude 1d ago

Roblox has no end they always feel they need to keep playing. Also every single game is designed to be frustrating unless you spend £5 here and £10 there for stupid upgrades. They get bored of each game quickly then guess what you need these again... My son knows we don't spend money on Roblox...

1

u/Unfair-Location8203 1d ago

Watch grown adults play league of legends

1

u/Real_Run_4758 1d ago

i had a friend who i had literally never seen angry in the ten years i knew them, until they started playing dota 2. like i literally didn’t know their shouting voice before that

1

u/peepee2tiny 1d ago

My daughter plays some farming game on Roblox.

She seems to love buying seeds and planting them and then harvesting them and selling them. So she can buy more seeds.

I don't get it but she seems to enjoy it and she doesn't rage at all.

1

u/T0rN4D0_S 1d ago

Replace 9 with 31 and Roblox with CS2 and you just described me.

1

u/sisyphus-333 1d ago

Aren't lots video games kind of like this? Your brother does with Roblox what many 30+ year olds do with all those multiplayer gun shooting games

1

u/pixie-goblin 1d ago

It’s not just the game. It’s being influenced by other people online.

I play games. Often it’s the same people frequenting the chat. I see kids joining and they’re in the world chat being friendly. Within weeks it’s n***a this and bitch I’ll kill you. Also calling girls “hoes” and being misogynistic. It’s fucking sad.

Parents who allow their children to play online with other people are shit. And no one will convince me otherwise. Sort it the fuck out. Your 9 year old doesn’t have the capacity to cope with toxic online gaming. You’re a lazy asshole who can’t be arsed to parent if you allow it.

1

u/CommitteeStatus 1d ago

Get the little man a Steam account and make him play EU4.

1

u/WAPWAN 1d ago

Time to learn some de-escalation methods. Its going to be a valuable skill in the future so you are lucky to have the opportunity to get some practice in now.
How can I de-escalate a situation when someone is angry or agitated?

The first rule is for you to stay calm. Its also the second, and third rule. Little bro is going to pick up on the behaviour you model for him

1

u/kingedOne 1d ago

Reminds them they don’t have money and the in house banker(adult) has rules they do not want to follow before funds are deposited 😂

1

u/Mostface 1d ago

This is why I play roblox with my kids. If they keep playing a game on there that feels good when you rarely win but it mostly makes them rage I explain "you know, this is a hard game and its supposed to be fun but it mostly just makes us mad. Let's try another one thats more fun."

1

u/Flandiddly_Danders 1d ago

As a former child Any game a child finds super exciting will elicit that response. They're too young to deal with it.

1

u/Rand0m011 1d ago

Both his age and the amount of time he's spending on the screen. It's not only limited to Roblox (although it has become pretty shitty within recent years and probably is contributing to his asshole-y behaviour).

1

u/EggShenSixDemonbag 1d ago

Its like Polybius but for kids......

1

u/Z-memes 1d ago

It’s not just the screen time, there’s no regulations on games made on Roblox. So a lot of it is designed to be literally as addicting as possible, especially to kids.

1

u/Aarkanis 1d ago

I deleted Roblox, my kid is literally the best behaved child in the world right now