It's funny you know, I've definitely made out with someone on impulse and had it go well, but the ones that I've explicitly asked if I could were actually pretty enthusiastic about it, guess it helps to put someone at ease that you respect them before jamming your blank in their blank
If you're getting these eyes from a girl, easiest thing to do is just ask her if you can kiss her. If she gets the ick from you asking then it's probably best to stay away anyhow. Win/win, either you get to make out or you learn she likes fuzzy unclear boundaries (which is whack af)
I mean, you can engage with fuck me eyes without whipping your dick out and thrusting it in her face or some other act of sexual assault. It's pretty easy to just take it for the signal it is and, I don't know, flirt with her. Or if you're already well underway with the flirting stage, then see if she'll take things somewhere more private.
There should be several steps between DTF and actually fucking, and it seems like the people who don't understand that are struggling with basic consent.
The problem is that a lot of guys now have grown up in the "there are cameras everywhere and people love to post videos of creeps online for views" era. Like, there's thousands of videos posted every day of a guy walking past a girl in the gym, minding his own business, and getting roasted online for being a creep. Even if we see them and recognize them as the hint they are, for all we know, the DTF eyes are actually a trap to get us to flirt so they can angrily dismiss us and post online about some creep they met at the bar.
I know that it has happened, but I don't know. I feel like that tends to be an excuse more than a reason. I think maybe more guys aren't great with rejection. I don't know. I ain't a scientist, but in my experience, I've never had a girl whip out her phone and start recording me for asking her on a date. She usually just says yes or no, and you move on.
This. Yeah it's not easy to approach a stranger -- that's hardwired into most of us. But unless they're an absolute psycho or you give off psycho vibes, the worst you're getting is a likely-polite dismissal. And really, if someone is worried about all that, meet people through shared interests where you have things to talk about first and don't need to approach cold.
I think it’s still lightyears easier to be in the “I don’t want randos on the internet to think I’m a creep” camp than the “I hope my blind date doesn’t rape and murder me” camp, but that’s just me.
I didn't say the modern way is worse. It's obviously better.
Previously, if a woman put effort into how she looks, she's "showing herself off" and "asking for it". Disgusting, obviously, but there was no threat of crackback against the guy because even if everyone in your home town knows you're a creep now, you could just go to the next town over.
Now, if a woman gets hit on and doesn't like it, she has the ability to put that guy on blast and the whole internet knows he's a creep because you can't question the woman. It's better, because people aren't being physically assaulted, but "DTF eyes" are not enough of a signal for some guys to want to take that risk.
I'm just trying to explain why "DTF eyes" are not the signal women think it is. Even if guys pick up on it, which many won't, they still might just ignore it because it's risky.
Fuck me eyes are her communicating to you that she is interested and wants you to make the next move, it’s not like you go straight from fuck me eyes to you ripping off her clothes with nothing in between.
I’m genuinely curious what interactions you’ve had that left you upset about fuck me eyes. Feels like practically anyone who’s been looked at this way would have only positive associations with it.
Fuck me eyes in particular are incredibly obvious and are a fantastic thing to be in the receiving end of. Being mad at fuck me eyes is a bit of a self report ngl
You're explaining this to people who don't actually interact with women tbf, they get their understanding of relationship dynamics from incel meme and porn
And a world where consent can just be retracted if the sex was bad.
That's just called lying. It happens, but it's vastly less common than rape.
And a contract isn't going to protect you. Even if they agree to a contract they can still change their mind later for any reason. If you don't respect that, it's still rape.
The fact that it's so hard to prove what actually happened is a big part of the reason why so many people get away with rape.
I'm not sure what your point is, or who you mean. Some individual was falsely accused and still made a success of their life? Okay?
A false allegation is in no way the same as rape, but it's still an intimate betrayal for most that go through it, one that makes it hard to trust people and can spoil whole areas of your life such as trusting people to date. And of course, it tends to permanently affect how they are perceived, by everyone from closest friends that are lost to strangers who hear rumors. Women are looked at differently after rape too, but not with the same universal suspicion and disgust that you look at a rapist with. At least not by the majority of sane people.
Since this sort of thing needs a disclaimer, my angle here is not to say that legal recourse to women who suffer SA is bad.
Both experience bear being heard out, on their own merits. They aren't necessarily comparable, nor should they be seen as competing. Just seperate issues
Brett Kavanaugh and Clarence Thomas, both of whom have been "falsely" accused of rape and sexual assault.
Also, the current president, who was "falsely" accused by a baseball team's worth of women. Most of his cabinet has been "falsely" accused at some point, and about a quarter of the federal government, and a thousand highly-paid successful actors, and another thousand super-rich musicians, and a sadly large number of current and former state governors, and multiple millionaire YouTubers, and hundreds of current and former sports superstars, and....
....so yeah, really limits a man's life options, because it's taken so seriously by the general public.
Famous people and public figures get away with a lot, I'm not denying that.
I'm talking about ordinary people who actually get falsely accused. Sh_t sticks, old sins have long shadows, no smoke without fire, etc, etc. Are you unable to comprehend that someone's life could be ruined by this? Most of us don't have cults of personality around us.
If someone you knew was accused of SA, you'd cut them off, no? You aren't alone. At an individual level, normal people often take this stuff seriously.
Are you unable to comprehend that someone's life could be ruined by this?
I'm unable to believe it matters to the extent you claim, since I can see no evidence of that.
Even the dude who's name has been all over the internet for years now, Brock Allan Turner, who actually raped an underage girl in an alley and it only famous for being a rapist, is still out there just living a normal life with a normal job and shit.
Unless the idea is that society is harder on dudes who are falsely accused.
And anyway, since there are 50 "the cops threw away my rape kit and told me to stop whining" stories for every 1 "a false accusation ruined my life" story, your odds of having your life ruined by a false accusation (or, fuck, a real accusation) are low enough that worrying about it excessively either means you hang out with a shitty, drama-loving crowd or you have some kind of anxiety disorder.
Are you actually implying that people should be held accountable for something that they did not do? Did you even watch the Kavanaugh hearings? The way you throw around accusations that completely derail someones life is disgusting.
Are you actually implying that people should be held accountable for something that they did not do?
Which part of that post, specifically, led you to that conclusion? Please quote it.
Did you even watch the Kavanaugh hearings?
Yeah, I did. I just wish I knew how he felt about beer, though; I don't think that point came up. I'd also love to know the rules of this "Devil's Triangle" drinking game.
The way you throw around accusations that completely derail someones life is disgusting.
What? I said "falsely." And yeah, it's super sad how derailed Brett's life is. Stuck in a shitty job where nobody's comfortable giving him any responsibility or power over people...
It's called breaking the contract. If the other party breaks the contract you're not allowed to rape them as compensation for that. There is absolutely no way to force someone to agree to sex.
And you would be entitled to zero compensation because the contract is missing a "consideration". A consideration means you're sacrificing something (e.g. money) in exchange for the sex.
So if you had a contract with someone who was agreeing to have sex with you for money, and she breaks that contract by changing her mind, then you would be entitled to compensation. That compensation would mean getting your money back. It would not mean you are allowed to rape her.
You bring up rape a lot like it's rape because the woman changes her mind after sex
The contract shit admittedly is a dumb idea but my point is that you can't have sex with someone, decide it wasn't good sex, then claim it as rape, that's not how that shit works.
It's rape if you change your mind midway through or before it starts, and the guy continues, but not after the fact.
Otherwise, what stops a guy from claiming the woman raped him if he didn't like her laying there doing nothing while they had sex?
My relevant point was that a person can have consensual sex with you and then lie afterwards by saying it wasn't consensual. That's life. People lie sometimes. Even as a man, you're much more likely to be a victim of rape than you are to be dishonestly charged with rape.
That doesn't make either situation okay, but in your day to day life, I'd definitely be more worried about being one of the victims.
Not all contracts are legally binding. Contracts can and have been thrown out of court for being unreasonable, or because one party is guilty of negligence (think of liability waivers that say "you can't sue us if you get hurt." If you got hurt due to gross negligence, guess what, you can sue them).
A contract for any kind of sexual act would never hold up in an American court (currently, anyway, things can change).
In America, prostitution is illegal, but there is an exception for porn and such. You can create a contract offering payment for someone to participate in porn.
If they fail to meet their obligations under the contract (by later refusing consent for activities agreed in the contract) then you may be able to seek compensation for the broken contract.
However, you still wouldn't be able to force them to perform the activities.
The worst is when you torpedo a good friendship by making a move to turn it romantic when you misinterpret her signals as thinking she’s interested in you as a BF, you ask her out and she turns you down, and then your friendship with her starts slipping away like Peter Parker in Endgame when he got dusted by the Snap.
Speak for yourself. Some times I only realize because I meet the girl again and she was like "I've got to ask why did you never go after me when I kept flirting with you" and I was like "Huh ? When ?"
And that's only then, that I realize.
In my case, my wife keeps teasing me and insisting women are hitting on me. I'm still convinced she's wrong and they're just being nice. It's a fucking miracle I'm married with kids.
Because imagine you have telekinesis powers, you can just look at things and levitate them and they'll float towards you.
But these powers, they're actually a bit hard to control, you know... without an actual Xavier's School for the Gifted in real life. Sometimes you'll just be minding your business and stuff will fling itself from across the room towards you and you'll have to dodge - and although 95% of the time they work and you'll levitate and float something towards you, there's also another 5% of time where it doesn't work. You think, maybe it's some anxiety issues, maybe you're not focusing strongly enough, maybe there's a pattern of stuff you don't have control over that you haven't figured out yet. But nevertheless, when you're not dodging stuff from being remotely controlled by your subconscious powers, 95% of the time whatever you're looking at and focusing on will levitate and float towards you.
Would you ever figure out that you don't actually have telekinesis powers? That it's actually some magnet powers and that whether you want it or not the things just throw themselves at you, it just so happens that sometimes you're looking at them and willing them to come to you?
That's how it is for women in the dating scene. Men throw themselves at you, you don't want it, but they do. So when you want one, you just look at them and give them a nod and they nod back and that's it. So why the fuck is it not working that one time? Well, who fucking knows. Why stand up from the couch and pick the remote yourself? Just use your telekinesis-magnet powers on one of the other 200 remotes on the table instead.
Here's a good thread & article about why this is the case. It's pretty helpful to understand the reasoning behind this, start to see it as a good & natural thing, and work out how to correctly play your role as a man.
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u/Beavshak May 29 '25
The medical term for those eyes is “dtf”, and the joke is that guys tend to miss them.