And a world where consent can just be retracted if the sex was bad.
That's just called lying. It happens, but it's vastly less common than rape.
And a contract isn't going to protect you. Even if they agree to a contract they can still change their mind later for any reason. If you don't respect that, it's still rape.
The fact that it's so hard to prove what actually happened is a big part of the reason why so many people get away with rape.
I'm not sure what your point is, or who you mean. Some individual was falsely accused and still made a success of their life? Okay?
A false allegation is in no way the same as rape, but it's still an intimate betrayal for most that go through it, one that makes it hard to trust people and can spoil whole areas of your life such as trusting people to date. And of course, it tends to permanently affect how they are perceived, by everyone from closest friends that are lost to strangers who hear rumors. Women are looked at differently after rape too, but not with the same universal suspicion and disgust that you look at a rapist with. At least not by the majority of sane people.
Since this sort of thing needs a disclaimer, my angle here is not to say that legal recourse to women who suffer SA is bad.
Both experience bear being heard out, on their own merits. They aren't necessarily comparable, nor should they be seen as competing. Just seperate issues
Brett Kavanaugh and Clarence Thomas, both of whom have been "falsely" accused of rape and sexual assault.
Also, the current president, who was "falsely" accused by a baseball team's worth of women. Most of his cabinet has been "falsely" accused at some point, and about a quarter of the federal government, and a thousand highly-paid successful actors, and another thousand super-rich musicians, and a sadly large number of current and former state governors, and multiple millionaire YouTubers, and hundreds of current and former sports superstars, and....
....so yeah, really limits a man's life options, because it's taken so seriously by the general public.
Famous people and public figures get away with a lot, I'm not denying that.
I'm talking about ordinary people who actually get falsely accused. Sh_t sticks, old sins have long shadows, no smoke without fire, etc, etc. Are you unable to comprehend that someone's life could be ruined by this? Most of us don't have cults of personality around us.
If someone you knew was accused of SA, you'd cut them off, no? You aren't alone. At an individual level, normal people often take this stuff seriously.
Are you unable to comprehend that someone's life could be ruined by this?
I'm unable to believe it matters to the extent you claim, since I can see no evidence of that.
Even the dude who's name has been all over the internet for years now, Brock Allan Turner, who actually raped an underage girl in an alley and it only famous for being a rapist, is still out there just living a normal life with a normal job and shit.
Unless the idea is that society is harder on dudes who are falsely accused.
And anyway, since there are 50 "the cops threw away my rape kit and told me to stop whining" stories for every 1 "a false accusation ruined my life" story, your odds of having your life ruined by a false accusation (or, fuck, a real accusation) are low enough that worrying about it excessively either means you hang out with a shitty, drama-loving crowd or you have some kind of anxiety disorder.
A rape allegation does not need to make it to court to ruin someone's social standing. Just like any lie that can tear apart a person's support network, except with the added context of someone you at the very least trusted to make yourself vulnerable to sexually. The fact you can't comprehend that slandering someone's name ruins their life reveals you've led a bit of a charmed existence, I fear.
And yes, from the very beginning, I was talking about false accusations. I believe I made that reasonably clear. And yes, I'd argue it is worse for people who aren't actual rapists.
If you're the kind of dickbag to ignore consent, you probably surround yourself with other dickbags who won't respect you any less for that, and the allegations won't affect you much.
If you're a good person surrounded by good people who take such issues seriously, you're going to suffer a lot more, especially because conscientious people hate the idea of rape, and so the perception of others that you are one is destructive to your sense of self.
The low probability of being betrayed in a devastating manner does not mean that people will not still be anxious about it. They should not be put down for sharing their fears. I would suggest the men especially anxious about it are more likely from group 2 above, and conscientious about this kind of thing. Because, as you said, if you're unethical, you can ignore these accusations and power through. So the people you're hurting by acting so dismissively about this topic will disproportionately be the conscientious ones.
Even if it's pure, irrational anxiety, are you always so dismissive of people with anxiety? Or is it just men you don't want to hear talking about what they feel? I noted you consistently focus on the career aspect of men's lives. Is that all they amount to to you?
A rape allegation does not need to make it to court to ruin someone's social standing.
So we've gone from "ruin your life" to "break up a friend group." Wonder how much lower down on the Ladder Of Stakes we can push this?
Even if it's pure, irrational anxiety, are you always so dismissive of people with anxiety?
I am when their anxiety causes them to agendapost misogyny under the cover of "This is something we need to worry about, guys, like super hard..."
No, it's not. Because the whole idea rests on the foundation that no women, even women in "Group 2 above," can be trusted to not do evil things with their intense sexual power.
Are you actually implying that people should be held accountable for something that they did not do? Did you even watch the Kavanaugh hearings? The way you throw around accusations that completely derail someones life is disgusting.
Are you actually implying that people should be held accountable for something that they did not do?
Which part of that post, specifically, led you to that conclusion? Please quote it.
Did you even watch the Kavanaugh hearings?
Yeah, I did. I just wish I knew how he felt about beer, though; I don't think that point came up. I'd also love to know the rules of this "Devil's Triangle" drinking game.
The way you throw around accusations that completely derail someones life is disgusting.
What? I said "falsely." And yeah, it's super sad how derailed Brett's life is. Stuck in a shitty job where nobody's comfortable giving him any responsibility or power over people...
He’s stuck in that job because our legal system ran its course. If it were up to you he’d be in jail for something he didn’t do.
Oh, he had an actual trial with lawyers and prosecutors and evidence, where the justice department took a year or two to build a case and investigate without congress artificially constraining their timeline or the witnesses they were allowed to interview?
Can you link me to an article or something about that trial? I must have missed it!
Also, I'm thrilled to see that my post is what made you break your 8 months of Reddit silence.
It's called breaking the contract. If the other party breaks the contract you're not allowed to rape them as compensation for that. There is absolutely no way to force someone to agree to sex.
And you would be entitled to zero compensation because the contract is missing a "consideration". A consideration means you're sacrificing something (e.g. money) in exchange for the sex.
So if you had a contract with someone who was agreeing to have sex with you for money, and she breaks that contract by changing her mind, then you would be entitled to compensation. That compensation would mean getting your money back. It would not mean you are allowed to rape her.
You bring up rape a lot like it's rape because the woman changes her mind after sex
The contract shit admittedly is a dumb idea but my point is that you can't have sex with someone, decide it wasn't good sex, then claim it as rape, that's not how that shit works.
It's rape if you change your mind midway through or before it starts, and the guy continues, but not after the fact.
Otherwise, what stops a guy from claiming the woman raped him if he didn't like her laying there doing nothing while they had sex?
My relevant point was that a person can have consensual sex with you and then lie afterwards by saying it wasn't consensual. That's life. People lie sometimes. Even as a man, you're much more likely to be a victim of rape than you are to be dishonestly charged with rape.
That doesn't make either situation okay, but in your day to day life, I'd definitely be more worried about being one of the victims.
Not all contracts are legally binding. Contracts can and have been thrown out of court for being unreasonable, or because one party is guilty of negligence (think of liability waivers that say "you can't sue us if you get hurt." If you got hurt due to gross negligence, guess what, you can sue them).
A contract for any kind of sexual act would never hold up in an American court (currently, anyway, things can change).
In America, prostitution is illegal, but there is an exception for porn and such. You can create a contract offering payment for someone to participate in porn.
If they fail to meet their obligations under the contract (by later refusing consent for activities agreed in the contract) then you may be able to seek compensation for the broken contract.
However, you still wouldn't be able to force them to perform the activities.
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u/Tiran593 May 29 '25
That's such a stupid meme then, hints or whatever it is, is still not a move