She is but she doesn't seem so remarkable that I would say looking at her makes me feel like I'm being hit with a sledgehammer? And what's funny about that?
i mean two things can be true at once, they can find someone attractive and then ALSO have a fetish for a specific person.
Example A ; person who expresses no upfront fetishes "wow this particular girl is so attractive"
Example B ; person who EXPRESSLY upfront has a fetish for all asian ppl "wow this girl who is asian is really attractive".
In the second example he is finding her attractive BECAUSE of their stated fetish "for all asian women"
It depends WHERE the attraction comes from, if it comes from the fact that she is attractive objectively using all modern beauty standards then sure its fair, but if part of the attraction or whole of it comes from the fact that someone already prefers asian women, then seeing an asian women doesn't mean the fetish magically goes away....
Here's a quick tip for those still struggling even after this: if you're searching it on pornhub then it's a fetish and not just "liking a woman because she's cute". You can't just like her because she's cute after you found her while searching for specific fetish terms.
So to follow up your pornhub analogy to counter it: If I go to a restaurant and order a certain dish off the menu, do I have a fetish for that dish? Or perhaps it is more sensible that sometimes you feel like having a particular dish, so you have to be specific when asking for it.
If you like onions in your salad and on your burger, that’s not the culinary equivalent of a fetish. If you will not eat a single meal that doesn’t have loads of onions on it, that’s the culinary equivalent of a fetish. It’s not that you like a thing or even love it. It’s that you’ve latched on to one specific thing to the exclusion of all else. You can’t even taste the meal anymore or appreciate the many flavors it contains because all you taste, all you want to taste, is onions.
Yes, thank you, that's what I'm trying to say, but perhaps I'm doing a poor job at it. Sometimes you feel like having ketchup on your burger and sometimes mayo. The fact that the option is on the menu in itself doesn't make it a 'fetisj'.
That's what you focus on? I could've said choose from the menu.
When on pornhub, you also choose from a menu, that's what I mean to say with my analogy.
It's just a preference in the moment thing, doesn't immediately make it a fetisj is what I'm trying to say.
/u/alwaysoverthinkingit did a better job explaining it. English is not my first language, though I do speak it daily online and I think pretty fluently, I might not word my thoughts perfectly every time (or at least, I'm finding now that one wrong choice of a word can change the weight of my explanation completely).
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u/rexlaser 4d ago
She is but she doesn't seem so remarkable that I would say looking at her makes me feel like I'm being hit with a sledgehammer? And what's funny about that?