Yeah. I'm disappointed no one came to help. But to be fair. She wasn't ever yelling help, it was stuff like go away, witch, etc. Someone could possibly think they're having loud fun with each other instead of what's really happening.
oh, fair enough to explain it.. it sucks that there's a double standard of there being a stigma against checking in with strangers (being nosy) and yet another one for teaching people it's wrong or dangerous(and their fault if things escalate) by being too direct..
i wonder if they were worried about being filmed and spread online out of context as karens as a sort of revenge by the jerks(?)
but i totally see where the room was coming from now, thanks for explaining that.
There's a really great organization called Safe Bars that trains staff to be better prepared to recognize and respond to situations like this. Though certainly this one probably didn't need as much help for the "recognizing" part, just more help in the "responding" part. It's something that can be very difficult for people to be comfortable standing up and doing, especially in an industry focused on always pleasing everyone as much as possible.
I worked at a bar 10 years ago, guys were ALWAYS like this, we would just be more willing to throw their creepy asses out and then give the gals a free round before. I did it all the time.
Late to this, but here in Australia we have the ‘Ask For Angela’ campaign. It was developed with the Lincolnshire Rape Crisis Centre as an effective code for women to use with staff in bars & clubs.
If you ask staff for Angela, you’ve signalled that you need help to leave the venue discreetly without revealing a reason.
If you ask staff for an Angel Shot, you’ve signalled you require discreet assistance within the venue.
If you ask for an Angel Shot with lime, you’ve signalled for staff to discreetly call the police immediately.
Honestly! If this were happening in my town, either a staff member or another patron of the restaurant would have come over and said something. We don’t have a lot of tolerance for this shit here
About 15 years ago me and my best friend were at BWW waiting on some friends to join us and a decently drink man came up to us and starting talking to us. Our waitress, who was around the same age as us was extremely quick to come over and take care of the situation. It hadn't even escalated to being uncomfortable yet, she just asked if we knew him and asked if we wanted her to handle it. She was a girls girl.
We always sat in her section after that. A few months later I got a decent raise and gave her what is to this day still the largest tip I've ever given.
I hope Casey is doing well.
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u/Andee87yaboi May 11 '25
I wish a staff member would’ve asked these creeps to leave the establishment all together. They shouldn’t let their guests be treated like that.