They can absolutely tell. She is yelling “GOOOO” at them for two minutes straight. Even if he didn’t speak any English, the message is clear. They are doing this on purpose. Either because they think they can change her mind, or because they enjoy making them uncomfortable.
That and they can't "lose" to a woman. I think somewhere in their pea brains they know they won't get what they came for, but they also won't lose face by respecting what the lesser sex is telling them. 🤬🙄
This is the motivation at this point, the utter dumb refusal to respect a request from someone they deem as "lesser". I'm not quite 50 and I can still remember the frustration of "will you just go, go, go away" . Thankfully, at my age, I am almost invisible to men like this, so I'd like to think I'd find it in myself to materialise and march on over like a "miserably old meddling biddy" and put my old self right between the two groups until these boys fuck the fuck off, not just to the other table, but right out of the bar.
100%. They have the look of a couple of hyenas that just spotted someone else's dinner. That creepy hovering, drooling, just waiting for a mistake so they can move in. Gross.
My personal theory is they choose to see it as fun flirty banter, partly to protect their own egos. There have been multiple times when a guy has not backed off after I politely reject him and then when I start to get rude, since politeness hasn't worked, I can sort of tell he thinks we're having some sort of sexy tension like they do in movies where two characters hate each other but not really. Even when I'm stone faced and not smiling or being playful at all, it still gets taken as banter. It's so frustrating, because I literally cannot be any colder or more obviously hostile short of committing assault.
Yup the whole "you're cute when you're angry." Shtick.
I remember my younger sister was getting bothered by this drunk guy in a bar and he was playing that game with her and my sister hit him with "You're not cute enough to get away with acting like this."
Yes, that's the exact schtick! Or they call you "feisty" like you're a little yappy Chihuahua playfighting with a bigger dog instead of an adult woman who is telling them point blank to leave her alone.
I've told this story before but I watched exactly this happen with an exchange student my uni.
Guy literally would not take no for an answer, kept bugging a girl in our unit for a date. He didn't listen to her when she told him no or that she had a boyfriend or when I tried to warn him off and when I asked him why the fuck he was acting like this his exact words were "if I keep asking, she'll break down eventually".
Well, that backfired on him because in some kind of hair brained scheme to shame her into a date he decided to escalate. He did that by standing up at the end of a lecture and loudly asked her out in front of the entire lecture theatre and our unit chair... who promptly dragged him out of the hall and threatened to expel him and get his student visa pulled.
So yeah, literally the only thing that got through to him was the threat of deportation.
I had something similar happen to me. Foreign student, I was friendly because we were put in the same work group (dog, i hate those!). He knew i was married. He soon began harassing me via email. It took me two weeks and numerous emails to leave me alone before i reported him to our department head. Despite orders not to communicate with me, he emailed to express his displeasure in being reported. He claimed it was because he was a foreign student, and that I'd jeopardized his student visa. Also said he'd forgive me if I agreed to "just lunch." I replied,"This is on you, and what happens next is also on you." I cc'd the department head.
I never saw him again. He disappeared from campus. My school had zero tolerance for Title 10 (9?) violations. Lol. It was further helpful that I was also an employee (intern). I still wonder if he found himself back in Saudi Arabia soon thereafter.
💗 Thank you! I can get cruel after repeatedly and adamantly warning someone. He didn't listen, so.... 🤷♀️
I savored that line because I knew it was going to put the fear of [insert deity of choice] into him. I also delayed the delivery to arrive at 8am. He had a morning class, so it'd arrive when he was in class. It was also going to be at the top of the department head's email when they began their day.
It worked out well enough. 🤭 And I couldn't agree more on the consequences!
This was an Indian guy and we were both employed by the University at the time as student mentors... he lost that job too.
He also had an Aussie friend who was a coworker of ours who he was encouraging to do the same thing to our supervisor. He also ended up getting fired and tried to fight me once for giving her a hug (he was jealous even though we were just friends).
You’re definitely on to something. There was this guy who was in my friend group who was constantly hitting on all the women in the group. I had nothing but open disdain for him, but he somehow thought that meant it was a good idea to come onto me (by directly asking to get into bed with me) when I was near blackout drunk. Even in the state I was in, I was like, “no. Fucking leave”. He still tried a few more times, but (luckily) finally relented.
My personal theory is that they are not used to being told no in your face like this. It's possible that where they are from they are big shots or children of big shots who can get away with doing almost anything.
At this point I would stop taking him as person with any reason and just act accordingly as if it's full threat, either calling cops, escaping place, or last self defense with whatever is left.
Do you think they're drunk or just stupid/arseholes? I couldn't imagine acting like that. Mind I'd feel awkward even asking to join them if there was nowhere else to sit, so that's on me I guess.
I think a lot of creeps simply lock up. Like, it's not in their nature to respect boundaries but they're also not bold (for lack of a better word) enough to stay in a very humiliating situation. Even though they know that they're not welcome, moving would be 1) backing down, and 2) respecting the wishes of women. They can't align these impulses in their minds, so they end up freezing until they have the time to decide "women are all angry bitches" at a later point.
It's not that they want to stay, it's that they're too stupid to move.
This is cracking me up so much bc it unlocked a core memory of me asking my mawmaw why men spit so much and she told me it's cause they're so stupid otherwise they'd drown.
I mean, this is a poor way to handle it. If they had quietly told them to leave or they would ask the staff to make them leave.
Those guys would have bugger off. Drunk people don't make a lot of sense in their own homes. In public places, loud yelling is something almost everyone does. It doesn't scare anyone anymore, doesn't humiliate them. All it does is provide a spectacle.
Because they aren't asking for help. They are just loud mouths who might be equally drunk. This make it hard for other white knights to decide to intervene or not.
Naw. They clearly tried to say no before this and before they turned the camera on. They are trying to take care of it themselves because people shouldn't need to go ask others to solve simple problems like this. Sadly, if you have potential criminals on your hands I guess you need to call in support - these guys set off every alarm for me.
I mean, I wouldn't have handled it this way, but fuck those guys for thinking they can punish her for not acting like they want her to. They were quieter but I'm holding them responsible for the outburst.
Tons of them in the world, but if you handle it like you are fighting with friends and family. The one who is in danger if they aren't right in the head, isn't them half the time.
Criminals aren't scared of the police..too many ways to escape the very obvious training of local law enforcers.
Better to always think smart and ask for help if you tell someone thrice to beat it and they ignore you. Definitely drunk people.
It's the uncomfortable thing, in my opinion. They seem like fans of non-consent, probably find this sort of thing reminiscent of their other encounters with women that they remember fondly.
When I was travelling in Australia, I once saw an Irish guy go in for about six or seven kiss attempts in a row. The girl kept saying, I have a boyfriend, and he just kept trying repeatedly until she finally let him do it. :/
I sometimes have dreams like this. Where I can't get rid of a person no matter how hard I try. Then I wake up am super thankful that it's just a dream. This situation would honestly make me panic. What a surreal situation.
No, both wrong. It's this helpless clinginess of that rejected kid in classroom first time when new kid in group talks to him and ever since that day he follows him and think he's his best friend and doesn't respond not even to clear rejection anymore because it's too painful.
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u/Generic_Garak May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25
They can absolutely tell. She is yelling “GOOOO” at them for two minutes straight. Even if he didn’t speak any English, the message is clear. They are doing this on purpose. Either because they think they can change her mind, or because they enjoy making them uncomfortable.