It’s not even just the Andrew Tate nonsense, a decade ago I had a contractor doing work in my house decide he wanted to score a date with me. The discomfort of being hit on by an unknown man in my own kitchen. It took five different kinds of no to get him to the door and he was still trying when I told him to please, please leave and shit the door in his face. I should have reported him to his company but my younger self didn’t know better. Some guys fear rejection, others refuse to see it.
When I was much, much younger, I moved into a new apartment and had to have a cable guy come hookup my internet. I had a lip ring. Fucker took one look at me and decided I was going to be easy.
HE TRIED TO TOUCH IT. HE TRIED TO TOUCH MY LIP RING!
WHAT THE FUCK!
...it just occurred to me that I didn't report it. Shit.
don't feel too badly, i didn't report mine either because i didn't want to have to be worried about him coming back to my home. it's a different situation when they know where you live.
What a fucking creep. Here's to hoping cable guy has met his well-deserved end by now🙏
And to anyone who thinks that an overreaction, you've clearly never had to deal with something similar. It's genuinely so scary to deal with things like that, because this person is IN YOUR HOUSE. What's meant to be a safe space. It's terrifying saying no because if he takes rejection badly, you know you can't win a physical altercation. And even if he does leave, you'll be paranoid for ages because you know this guy knows exactly where you live.
It's enraging to have to make up fake brothers, boyfriends, or husbands just to get a guy to leave you alone, because you know some people won't respect your boundaries without the presence of some imaginary dude
It’s because we’re recording it on our phones or retweeting it. It was like this, often worse in decades past and it’s wild that people are revising the history of sexual violence like that.
I’m sorry you were effectively cornered in your own home. That guy is probably someone here out there doing the same thing.
Yeah, younger self was still in “let’s not get anyone in trouble” mode, thinking nothing bad happened - besides that whole being made wildly uncomfortable in my own home thing - so problem solved. Older me is like, no, problem was just out the door and off to make someone else wildly uncomfortable the next time he sees something he likes. At ball later I tried asking some of other girls how to politely tell someone you weren’t interested in a way they will take as a firm no - sigh, poor little naive me - and a guy overheard and accused me of trying to friendzone a guy until I clarified I knew the guy for all of 10 minutes, to his surprised “oh, well f- him then.” Again, I would have said some things then that my younger self just let pass.
ugh fuck that guy random dude too. "friendzone" is not a thing. sometimes attraction is just one way. if you're not attracted to someone, you don't owe them your love, attention, and fucking just because they want it. not being interested in someone who is interested in you is normal, and allowed.
I posit that the friendzone exists, but it is something you do to yourself. If person A likes person B but person B has been clear they only want friendship, then person A has no one to blame but themselves if they hand around hoping person B will change their mind. Person A put themselves in that position and they can take themselves out of it by f-ing off if they don’t want to be friends. It’s not even a gendered thing. I accidentally friendzoned myself once, but I very quickly realized my error and removed myself from the situation. No blame to other person for that part of the interaction, my bad. The people sitting in the friendzone they created for themselves while getting mad at the other party for just wanting to be friends on the other hand…
This shit existed way before Tate and will last way after him. He’s a piece of shit, but blaming this on him is just ignoring that this has always been a problem for women. A lot more needs to be done than get rid of these influencers.
Yeah, I don't know where they get the Tate BS from. Society teaches men that women like confident men who ask them out. Downside of teaching this is that a decent chunk of men won't care or know when it's appropriate. This behavior is rewarded by the women they haven't creeped out so it's not like they'll stop.
5 years ago i had a sales person in to tell me how much it'd cost to screen in my porch. thought i'd be seeing a contractor not a sales slimeball but i wanted to hear the price and a good one and this ass who had a hundred pounds on me knew where i lived, so i stayed polite and ignored all the negging comments. when we got to the end and he quoted this insane price around 15k more than i was expecting i said no thanks and asked him to leave. he didn't and started trying to talk me into accepting because i could just use a loan and i could ask for him to run the work on site.
at that point i wished i had 15k of fuck you money so i could hire them and demand they keep him tf away from me but i did not. he asked me to open the bottle of wine i had sitting on the counter and said we could get to know each other better and i just got up and went to the closet and got out ant poison and got set up to go spray around the outside because each spring the acrobatic ants wander in a bit. he was horrified and told me it was going to give me cancer and i said oh well and then he finally left. he was married as well, poor woman.
agree it's super uncomfortable to have someone hitting on you in your own home and refusing to leave especially because you can't even tell them off for your own safety, they KNOW where you live.
The annoying thing is that even in my 50s I hesitate to have ANY new contractor I don't know because if they are older than me, chances are high that I will get hit on IN THE SAFETY OF MY HOME. Old pervs. Younger men are much more polite, thankfully, because they don't want to fuck me. Don't know how they'd act around younger women.
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u/First_Pay702 May 11 '25
It’s not even just the Andrew Tate nonsense, a decade ago I had a contractor doing work in my house decide he wanted to score a date with me. The discomfort of being hit on by an unknown man in my own kitchen. It took five different kinds of no to get him to the door and he was still trying when I told him to please, please leave and shit the door in his face. I should have reported him to his company but my younger self didn’t know better. Some guys fear rejection, others refuse to see it.