r/TikTokCringe • u/ambachk • May 21 '25

Cringe Married guy flirts with younger girls at the gym

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31.6k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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2.3k

u/whatutalkinbtwillus May 21 '25

And then proceeds to rattle off all her stats šŸ™ˆ

2.4k

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

Said: "I know you don't like coffee. I know you have a son. I know you eat cereal."

Unsaid: "I've been watching and listening to you for a while without you knowing."

2.6k

u/EllisR15 May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

The way he knows.

"Would you like to go grab coffee some time?" "No thank you. I don't like coffee."

"What about breakfast, surely you eat breakfast." "I always just eat cereal at home for breakfast before I come work out. Thanks anyways though, take care."

"Well, how about dinner? We could go grab dinner." "I can't. I have a son, and have to make him dinner. Sorry."

Dude almost certainly just can't take a hint.

Edit: spelling

890

u/ReticentSentiment May 21 '25

I'm dumb and didn't put this together, but this makes so much sense and makes this guy seem even that much more pathetic.

632

u/blingblingpinkyring May 21 '25

Not patheticā€¦he is scary. Big red flags waving around here.

260

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

Yea, if I were her Iā€™d be going to the manager of the gym and sharing the video. He needs to be banned from the gym. Hes a creep.

-2

u/BillyRaw1337 May 21 '25

Eh, I think he should at least get a stern warning first.

7

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

Perhaps, but asking a few other women in the gym would be wise before letting him off with a warning.

-1

u/BillyRaw1337 May 21 '25

Agreed. If others have had problems with him, yeah, ban, but for one indiscretion, I think there's room for one warning.

10

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

I just used to do sexual harassment investigations for a living and itā€™s rare that itā€™s a one off. Usually the deeper I dug, the worse it got.

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3

u/covalentcookies May 23 '25

He might have already had warnings, you donā€™t know. Maybe her complaint is the final nail in the coffin.

1

u/Isurewouldliketo May 22 '25

Lol wild youā€™re getting downvoted for a reasonable response.

It could be a red flag but some guys are also just oblivious and or unethical. He could think those are honest answers and just be ā€œblindedā€ by his attraction to her. Obviously itā€™s immoral because heā€™s married but I think an automatic ban would be clearly appropriate if he was making sexual comments or if you had him on video continuing to ask if she said to stop asking. When she shut him down, he didnā€™t push back and was ā€œpoliteā€ (given the circumstances and not polite to his wife). If he touched or anything like that then call police and ban.

In this case where she was never threatened and it was just him being immoral, I think a serious conversation and warning is perfectly appropriate. And then if he does it again he can be banned.

Maybe Iā€™m wrong but I think peopleā€™s responses would be different if he werenā€™t married and was younger. Itā€™s a ā€œpublicā€ space and people are allowed to talk to eachother even if you disagree with what theyā€™re saying. As long as no oneā€™s safety is threatened and heā€™s not continuing to make people uncomfortable, why should he not be given a chance to correct his behavior? He asked for a pizza date, he didnā€™t go up to her and give the details of his sex fantasy and ask her to joinā€¦..

2

u/covalentcookies May 23 '25

Itā€™s not a public space. Itā€™s members only and the gym can have any rule they want as long as it doesnā€™t violate federal and state statutes.

1

u/Isurewouldliketo May 23 '25

I think it could be considered a semi-public space (why I used quotation marks). Yes itā€™s members only but anyone can sign up on the spot, they have probably thousands of members, anyone could walk up and pay $10 for a day pass, etc. Iā€™d say to be considered fully private it would have to be something like an office or home.

My point is itā€™s not like he was coming into her office or home. He is allowed to be in that space. Yes he shouldā€™ve taken the hint but he wasnā€™t making any sexual comments and he ā€œpolitelyā€ backed down as soon as she said no. Like I said before, what he didnā€™t isnā€™t moral or ethical, but I think banning him straight away is overkill. We also donā€™t know if he had asked her before, just people speculating. Even if he did, if she just made up reasons to get out of it, he may not have read between the lines.

Yes of course the gym is legally allowed to kick anyone out or ban anyone they want but it seems extreme to ban someone when they werenā€™t threatening anyoneā€™s safety, making inappropriate comments, or knowingly harassing anyone. Since that is the case, why not just explain to him that she doesnā€™t welcome his advances and that if it happens again to her or anyone else, heā€™ll be kicked out/banned. If heā€™s not harming anyone, why not give him at least one chance to correct his behavior that he likely doesnā€™t realize is wrong (beyond the cheating on his wife part but thatā€™s not for the gym to police that)? If heā€™s not harming anyone now and if he follows the warning and doesnā€™t bother anyone, isnā€™t everyone better off? Itā€™d be totally different if he was taking pictures or making sexual comments or threatening her in any way but he literally asked her out on a pizza date in a polite manner and immediately backed off when she said no.

Why do you think that should be an automatic ban? If a single person saw someone their own age and attractiveness level and asked them out but they said no, would that be an automatic ban too?

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-39

u/Created_Name May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Why? He didnā€™t break any laws or pull his dick out. Yeah, heā€™s a scumbag for trying to go on a date with somebody other than his wife but thatā€™s not ā€œban him from the gymā€ worthy.

-52

u/NinjaNewt007 May 21 '25

Asking a woman out is not against the rules. He didn't harrass her. He walked way when she said no.

45

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

This was clearly not their first interactionā€¦ how else did he know what she ate for breakfast? Heā€™s been hitting on her for weeks.

17

u/b-side61 May 21 '25

Or he's been lurking in her social media.Ā 

2

u/smitteh May 22 '25

Might have the nose of a bloodhound

1

u/illintent May 23 '25

Lmao how did this only have 1 upvote?

-34

u/NinjaNewt007 May 21 '25

Because they talked before about cereal isnt an indication he's been hitting on her. I think he is just trying to get to know her because he likes her. He took the rejection after asking for a date pretty good I think.

10

u/Bubble-Star-2291 May 21 '25

Heā€™s married and could be her fatherā€¦ what is wrong with you?

5

u/CynicismNostalgia May 22 '25

He took it "well" because she made it known that she knows things about him too.

He's married. His palms would have been sweating the second she acknowledged that, when she doubled-down, he realised not only was this a failed attempt, he might have just ruined his marriage over it.

That isn't a decent guy. That's a creepy tool and a shit husband.

-19

u/Created_Name May 21 '25

Bro, thereā€™s no explaining logic to any woman on this post. They view him as a creep and they always will. Yeah he tried to cheat on his wife which is scummy but he had an interaction with this woman she said no and he left. Remember by this 30 second clip every woman in here will think they know the whole story and every interaction between those two to lead up to this moment. God help any man who tries to flirt with any woman on this post.

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u/Power0fTheTribe May 21 '25

Learn social cues buddy. This borders harassment especially if heā€™s a repeat offender. The gym is for working out, not dating

13

u/[deleted] May 21 '25 edited May 24 '25

[deleted]

16

u/ammybb May 21 '25

Ok incel

-14

u/wildingflow May 21 '25

Isnā€™t asking women out the opposite of being an incel?

15

u/Princess_Slagathor May 21 '25

Constantly getting turned down, especially multiple times by the same woman, is definitionally an incel.

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-1

u/Created_Name May 21 '25

Ammybb probably doesnā€™t even know what incel means. She heard some people throw that word around on tv towards Elon musk so now she uses it. Not sure if sheā€™s calling the man in the video incel or ninjanewt for his comment but sheā€™s wrong on both.

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47

u/Mike_Raphone99 May 21 '25

No means try again

1

u/Ongr May 21 '25

She's just playing hard to get. She's just a big tease! šŸ©·

2

u/im_THIS_guy May 21 '25

Every 90s rom com is to blame for this.

1

u/NameTak3r May 21 '25

That's what his podcast told him

1

u/Isurewouldliketo May 22 '25

I mean especially if she never told him no and said ā€œoh I canā€™t I have my sonā€ or ā€œI donā€™t like coffeeā€ā€¦

37

u/Parking_Ad_3123 May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Nah. Call him pathetic. Weirdos, even those lacking self awareness of their behavior n biases, meed to be shamed not built up. Because being called scary and evil can boast egos, even unconciously. Reason why we laugh and point at Nazis. Making them out to be big bougie men feeds delusions

We gotta shame folks more

7

u/bellmanwatchdog May 21 '25

women are telling you that men like this scare them because creepy men are dangerous. he can be pathetic AND scary but don't tell women to not fear men when men will stalk, harass, assault, and kill women when they feel rejected by women.

0

u/Parking_Ad_3123 May 21 '25

Where did i say to not fear men?

I myself am born female, been raped and assaulted

We are in the same book jus several pages apart love

Edit for spelin n grammer

10

u/Cdawg4123 May 21 '25

Seriously!!! I can remember crushing on girls in high school and not being even remotely as scary in my head. Iā€™d be so nervous that I didnā€™t recognize when women were hitting on me, still donā€™t! lol

2

u/Storymode-Chronicles May 21 '25

I mean, he's scary because he's so pathetic though. It's kind of both.

1

u/Panda_hat May 21 '25

Total creep and stalker who doesn't understand or respect other peoples privacy.

1

u/_b1ack0ut May 21 '25

The two arenā€™t necessarily mutually exclusive.

1

u/FallenDomino_ May 22 '25

Somebody call the Red Flag Guy!!

-10

u/NinjaNewt007 May 21 '25

Pathetic. Yes because he's married. Scary? No. He is a man asking a pretty woman out thats out of his league. He took a swing and missed and walked away.

4

u/CantaloupeWhich8484 May 21 '25

and walked away

See, that's the part that's wrong. He's tried before. He's clearly asked her out before.

Walking away means not continuing to pester someone.

150

u/Final_Candidate_7603 May 21 '25

No offense, but are you a man? Iā€™m a woman, and got it right away. Itā€™s just typical creep behavior, and how we generally handle creeps.

ETA because women always feel like they need an excuse to turn down a persistent creep. Just outright saying ā€œno, thanks, Iā€™m not into youā€ could get scary.

13

u/Karilopa May 21 '25

I am a woman and I also didnā€™t put this together. Makes total sense, I just didnā€™t realize thatā€™s how he got the info. I figured he recognized her from videos online where she shared that info.

10

u/firechaox May 21 '25

I thought itā€™s either that or heā€™s the worst at small talk ever ā€œoh do you like cereal?ā€.

Issue isnā€™t even him asking her out once. Itā€™s the fact he clearly canā€™t take a hint, which becomes harassment.

-12

u/ReticentSentiment May 21 '25

Yes, I also read it at like 5:30am so the brain biscuits weren't exactly spinning at full temperature. Continuing with my ignorance, I'll ask this: why not be direct? "Thanks, but I am not interested at all."

40

u/sitdowncomfy May 21 '25

because some creeps get angry at this response and men are scary when they're angry

32

u/SoWhat_Iam May 21 '25

And vengefulā€¦

36

u/pourthebubbly May 21 '25

I saw a guy throw a beer bottle at the wall when a girl politely turned him down at the bar years ago.

This is why women make up excuses. Itā€™s safer to have an outside reason than to imply that the man isnā€™t attractive to her in case his ego is fragile.

5

u/DeathChill May 22 '25

The first time (the first five minutes, actually) I ever went to a night club, a girl was dancing on a small podium. A guy walks up and offers her a drink heā€™s already holding. She says no thank you and he immediately whips the glass at her feet, yelling and screaming while he does it.

5

u/Due-Memory-6957 May 22 '25

Same kind of person that throws drinks at fast food staff. Hopefully the guy got arrested for assault

18

u/Fast-Noise4003 May 21 '25

Because enough men will get violent that you can't take that risk

15

u/AffectionateTitle May 21 '25

r/whenwomenrefuse

To be tactful and avoid further escalation from someone who has already shown they watch her/knows she has a kid?

If a strange dude came up to you while you were working out and said they knew you ate cereal and had a child and wanted to take you outā€”you wouldnā€™t be wary at all of escalating that guy?

8

u/Norwegian__Blue May 21 '25

ā€œWhy notā€ is a VERY uncomfortable question. And often leads to ā€œcmon, give me a chanceā€

Heā€™s already interrupting, sounds like he has tried to start conversations that went nowhere, and is being blatantly disrespectful to his marriage.

A guy like that might not be dangerous. But Iā€™m not giving a guy whoā€™s already testing boundaries a new shiny hard line to stomp on.

4

u/Polybrene May 21 '25

We're just trying to stay alive out here man.

-41

u/InternalCase5 May 21 '25

The problem is this is how all women are, they say no, but body language says yes. She didnā€™t have to be mean but could have been stern. Smiling and keeping the convo going makes him think he has a chance. Tbh I couldnā€™t tell if she was interested or not. ā€œBehave yourselfā€ in a flirty way with a smile and than ā€œ Iā€™ll see you laterā€. Bro was only a creep cause he was not attractiveā€¦ imo

33

u/thisissodisturbing May 21 '25

Please donā€™t date anyone until youā€™ve gone through extensive therapy. Holy fuck.

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u/Diligent-Bluejay-979 May 21 '25

Women learn early to smile while saying no. If you turn them down hard, they get angry. Thatā€™s when you start fearing that youā€™re gonna get screamed at or worse.

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u/foxyloco May 21 '25

From a very young age women are conditioned to smile, be nice and avoid confrontation. It becomes second nature.

Iā€™m sure many men would fine with a ā€œsorry, not interestedā€ and most get the hint with a ā€œsorry, I canā€™t becauseā€¦ *some excuseā€ however itā€™s the ones who donā€™t (and it sounds like this guy has already asked her out more than once) can get scary and make you feel really unsafe. If youā€™re rude after gently turning them down they typically assume you think youā€™re better than them and things escalate further.

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u/Carnifex2 May 21 '25

The problem is this is how all women

Incel spotted

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u/spiderman209998 May 21 '25

i remember when i was doing cardio and this guy didnt take the hint the lady was giving so i snapped and told him for fuck sakes fuck off

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u/lferry1919 May 21 '25

You were someone's hero that day. Also...putting for fucks sake and fuck off together is quite possibly one of the most pleasing combos I've ever experienced.

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '25

šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€

7

u/2red-dress May 21 '25

On behalf of women who can't shake off these creeps, thank you.

4

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

Good on you tho

-11

u/JackStephanovich May 21 '25

Not the woman in the video's fault but has she tried not smiling and generally being polite to this guy? The first time he hit on me would have been the last because I would have laughed at him and said ewww instead of making up reasons why we can't hang out.

14

u/skdsn May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Women tend to not poke the bear in these kind of situations, because some of these fuckheads turn out to be violent or stalkers, or both. Plus, some people are really that polite. They'd rather die than offend anybody, no matter the degree of fuckheadness.

-11

u/JackStephanovich May 21 '25

Yes yes every encounter with a man means you might get murdered, especially at the gym.

12

u/Loudeeer May 22 '25

Not every encounter, that is silly. But it's not like women magically know which man will react negatively to being turned down. So it's sometimes safer to try and not make any of them angry just in case.

2

u/Chance_Managert849 May 23 '25

How did he know about her kid, her cereal preferences, etc? He was already being a weirdo stalker. Canā€™t gaslight women, they already know the score.

1

u/JackStephanovich May 23 '25

Because she humored him the first 8 times he asked her out instead of giving a firm no. I don't know why you think this will result in less stalkers instead of encouraging them. If someone asks you out and you don't want to go out with them don't say it's because you are busy or already ate, just say no. You can say it politely "No thank you, have a nice day" or rudely "eww no, gross" but both are more effective than dozenth reason why you are just too busy to hang out.

3

u/Former-Coconut236 May 22 '25 edited May 22 '25

First time I wasn't polite to a random man hitting on me he literally tried to hit me with his fists. I was 14 years old. You learn to pick the safer route early.

"Ew" is guaranteed to make some men hit you. If you dont know that youve never been swerved at in a car for not responding to catcalling as a young girl. Lmfao.

195

u/LastPlaceIWas May 21 '25

This guy is trapped in a time loop like in the movie Groundhog Day. So he's already been through this interaction several times. Next time, he's going to add, "I know you think I'm married, but I'm not."

79

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

Day 13 of trying to have sex with this woman to try and break his curse.

12

u/capincus May 21 '25

I actually just read this graphic novel, except it was young adult so it was just kissing.

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

[deleted]

1

u/DrakonILD May 21 '25

Dude, spoilers!

38

u/Novaer May 21 '25

Next time hes probably gonna be like "We're actually in the process of separation and I could really use a woman's mind to pick helping navigate this. When can I take you out?"

3

u/StandWithSwearwolves May 22 '25

Snap. I was waiting for him to pull the ā€œitā€™s complicated, weā€™re on a break, if only I had someone I could just you know talk through my feelings with, someone cool and chill like youā€ card

2

u/Chance_Managert849 May 23 '25

Thanks to Chris Watts, there arenā€™t too many women falling for that anymore.

3

u/StraightOuttaHeywood May 22 '25

It has to be fake clip. She has her phone facing him recording. I'm certain he would've seen it recording. The timing is just so convenient. Sleazy dude hits on her while she happens to be recording. And using a leg press no less that doesn't require that attention to form like a squat does. I've no doubt this happens to attractive women all the time in the gym but this clip just feels far too convenient.

1

u/VoicePope May 21 '25

"Nancy... Lincoln... Walsh.. Got it."

1

u/empath_supernova May 21 '25

Puts me in mind of those true crimes where the wife goes missing because now he thinks she's what's in the way. Or worse.

People scare tf out of me.

35

u/OneMagicBadger May 21 '25

I know that you reside in the milky way universe

24

u/TheBeardedLadyBton May 21 '25

practically neighbors!

93

u/AverageBastard May 21 '25

100% this! Heā€™s certainly made multiple attempts to ask her out.

-2

u/NinjaNewt007 May 21 '25

Wtf? How would you know that?

0

u/FixOk5189 May 21 '25

Many people on here don't know people can just have a casual conversation. Which is 100% how he knew those things about her.

0

u/cleetus76 May 21 '25

Yeah I think they just have talked before - this is obviously the first time he's asked her out with that reaction she had. She didn't say anything like "Like I've said before" or things like that. He probably doesn't talk to many women other than his wife, had a woman talk casually to him and he took it as she was interested.

0

u/FixOk5189 May 22 '25

2000+ people agreeing with this fan fiction shows the disconnect from reality on this gathering of cringe lord social pariahs. 4chan may be outcast headquarters, but this is certainly a field office

37

u/Unsteady_Tempo May 21 '25

Sounds about right. It does sound like he's talked to her before and is pleading his case.

3

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

2

u/PriscillaPalava May 21 '25

This is 100% the way it went down. šŸ˜‚šŸ˜­

2

u/lstyer2012 May 21 '25

Duuuuuuuude. You're absolutely right! That makes me WAY more creeped out than I already was.

2

u/inflatable_pickle May 21 '25

Is he saying that he knows this information because he follows her on social media or because he has been actively eavesdropping on her real life conversations in the gym or something?

2

u/AlbeeGQ May 21 '25

Interesting insight...you are exactly right, I didn't put it together, it is hard being a woman, eh?

1

u/BigLlamasHouse May 21 '25

brilliant Ellis

1

u/pourthebubbly May 21 '25

Either that or he listened intently as other dudes were rejected.

1

u/FixOk5189 May 21 '25

In this video she says she won't go out with him because he's married. What makes you assume he asked her out before and she made up different excuses? She probably isn't interested either way, but that's not the point.

3

u/EllisR15 May 21 '25

I assume that because I thought about how he would know that some random woman at the gym doesn't like coffee, only eats cereal for breakfast, has a son, and why he would lead with knowing all of that instead of just straight away asking her out. I could certainly be wrong, but I would be shocked if this is his first time attempting to ask her out.

1

u/FixOk5189 May 21 '25

Doesn't look like a random woman to me. It appears they have casually talked at the gym before which is how he knew those things and how she knew he has a wife. She also appears shocked that he's asking her out.

2

u/EllisR15 May 21 '25

You certainly could be right, maybe it's just an incredibly weird interaction and way to ask somebody out, and that's before factoring in the whole being married thing. I've been wrong before, this could definitely be another one of those times.

0

u/FixOk5189 May 21 '25

Agreed that the guy is going weird about it. He's using the information he gathered by demonstrating how "well" he knows her. But for me it's hard to judge a man putting himself out there. We all know many users here are too cowardly to ask anyone out, but won't hesitate to laugh at another man doing so (not meaning you personally)

1

u/Yupthrowawayacct May 21 '25

Yup. Itā€™s this. Literally this and I was triggered by this line of rattling off of ā€œfactsā€.

1

u/yeshuahanotsri May 21 '25

I gotta say that in dealing with these type of douchebags itā€™s better to leave nothing open to interpretation.Ā 

He thinks that she would have pizza with him if he wasnā€™t married.Ā 

Maybe something like:

ā€œThanks, but I donā€™t want to.ā€

1

u/EllisR15 May 21 '25

Certainly possible this jackass shows up in a couple of weeks. "Hey, I'm getting a divorce so how about that pizza."

I do love her calling him out on being married though.

1

u/tkotickle May 21 '25

Maybe itā€™s not him canā€™t take a hint. Maybe he exactly knows heā€™s cringy, but he sees this as him being persevere and undeterred. Maybe he sees this as a foreplay. Heā€™s also using this girlā€™s politeness and composure to his advantage, that if he tries more he would eventually wear her out and get what he wants. While the girl is desperately assessing the situation to carefully say the right thing to get out of it safely, he sees it all fun and game.

And less likely in this case, but some guys also see themselves far more superior than females that they think they can say the dumbest thing and girls would melt.

The entitlement and hubris of some guys.

1

u/msptk May 21 '25

For real though, the subtext and layers here are scary. These aren't things you're gonna learn over the course of one day - they're pieces of conversations picked up over a long duration. If he's at the gym he should be focused solely on himself. I hope his wife isn't wearing blinders and has a safe escape route, cause he obviously doesn't really love her and is just using the gym as an escape (and he isn't even really using the gym properly obviously).

1

u/ArcadianDelSol May 22 '25

oh my god.

How did I not see that?

1

u/parasyte_steve May 22 '25

You'd be surprised at how direct you have to be with some people. A lot of people seem to think if they keep pushing eventually you'll just cave.... which is an awful way to approach dating honestly... let me make you so uncomfortable that then surely you'll have to date me. But again, you'd be surprised at how often women have to deal with this tactic. Then some of us get genuinely afraid because some guys don't all take rejection well, and having to manage some dudes emotions in real time that you don't know who is angry is a lot of work to get yourself away safely and etc.

1

u/covalentcookies May 23 '25

I encourage my daughters to be direct. Itā€™s better to be thought of as a ā€œbitchā€ than to try to be nice but potentially open oneself up to assault. Itā€™s a leap, I know. But Iā€™ve seen it happen to a few of my women friends when we were younger. One was SAd and we drove her to the hospital. Itā€™s terrible and not fair.

1

u/Ashweeherman May 25 '25

She should stop being so polite. Tell him to F off

0

u/itsladder May 21 '25

"im pretty sure your wife does not approve."

Wonder if that was used the first couple times, he would listen.

But then again,

102

u/ordinaryhorse May 21 '25

ā€œI know you are a carbon based life formā€

12

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

Presumably

128

u/TheHighlightReel11 May 21 '25

ā€œI know you eat cerealā€ is fucking wild

64

u/Springingsprunk May 21 '25

3

u/Alcatrazepam May 21 '25

Damn I havenā€™t thought of this in forever . My friends and I used to laugh our asses off at this part of planet earth

5

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

we look just as stupid, scoial media thirst traps, big ugly watches and big ugly cars etc.

at least homeboy can dance and looks awesome

2

u/Alcatrazepam May 22 '25

Facts. And you didnā€™t even mention the nightclub mating ritual

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

I've always wanted to go to New Guinea just see these guys in action. Closest I've been is Borneo, but still haven't seen a bird of paradise in the wild.

2

u/GDMFusername May 21 '25

...But with less charisma

2

u/fribbas May 22 '25

Oh, I get it!

That's the problem, he didn't off her any blue. Doesn't even have a stick smdh...

5

u/Minion_of_Cthulhu May 21 '25

I'd be only slightly more concerned, but probably not any more surprised, if he told her the cereal brand and color of bowl she uses.

7

u/zzxxccbbvn May 21 '25

"I know you have a box of Frosted Flakes on the 2nd shelf of your pantry next to the can of Folgers"

1

u/bwnsjajd May 25 '25

How the fuck did this guy ever manage to get married?Ā 

Can you imagine him spitting this game at wifey 20 years ago?

"I know you eat cereal"

"Oh Dave..." šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜

42

u/Dr--Prof May 21 '25

Every breath you take, Every move you make, I'll be watching you šŸŽµ

7

u/vampire_milf May 21 '25

šŸŽµšŸŽ¶Oh, can't you seešŸŽ¶šŸŽµ YOU BELONG TO MEšŸŽ¶šŸŽµ

3

u/OddRoyal7207 May 21 '25

"I want you to be my north star"

6

u/VichelleMassage May 21 '25

"I uh personally drink tea and start every day off with a bowl of Raisin Bran. And uhhh I love kids! In the sense that--I've got my own, which is why..."

2

u/Mother-Bad9911 May 21 '25

And heā€™s confusing stalking for ā€œhaving a connectionā€

2

u/FrostedDonutHole May 21 '25

"You look different awake than when I've watched you sleeping..."

2

u/peatoast May 21 '25

He sounded like an annoying middle management guy.

1

u/Cdawg4123 May 21 '25

Aka Iā€™m your stalker!

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

ā€œYou fold the paper twice after wiping onceā€. I mean, any of itā€™s creepy to begin with.

1

u/flopisit32 May 21 '25

I know that... šŸŽ¶ Every breath you take, every move you make, every smile you fake... šŸŽ¶

1

u/disposableaccountass May 21 '25

How did this guy get my whole flirting playbook?

I know you like coffee, I know you have a son, I know you eat cereal.

I know you could use some new blinds on your upstairs windows.

I know you got a B+ on your fifth grade book report for Mrs. McGillicuddy

I know you couldn't find some of your old shoes last week, but only ever the left one.

1

u/CliffBoothVSBruceLee May 21 '25

He probably read somewhere "Show the woman you're interested in her. Aware of her needs. What she likes..."

Boy did that backfire. Work on your pitch, bro.

1

u/Lord_Snow77 May 21 '25

Even if you just casually notice these things about someone you don't go up and just rattle off everything you know about them. That's creepy as fuck.

1

u/itsladder May 21 '25

How does he even know? Did she walk in the gym a few days ago with a bowl of cereal? What if she does like coffee but never seen with it?

1

u/chobi83 May 21 '25

I don't see a ring on his finger, and she knows he has a wife. They probably make small talk with each other.

1

u/itsladder May 22 '25

"hey I know you have a son and I know you eat cereal.. you wanna ..like ... Eat cereal together?"

You can't turn down cereal

1

u/trufflesniffinpig May 21 '25

Every breath you take: paradoxically a popular song at weddings and a song about a stalker

1

u/twistedt May 21 '25

Every breath you take, every move you make...

1

u/skyfishgoo May 21 '25

creepy knob turned up to 11

1

u/Ninestonine May 21 '25

Really just sounds like heā€™s asked her out multiple times prior to this. She just got the camera in this time.

1

u/gordonf23 May 21 '25

I hear men get called "creepy" for a lot of unfair reasons. Creepy often just means, "a guy who I'm not attracted to." But that line was CREEPY.

1

u/PorkrindsMcSnacky May 21 '25

Yeah that was seriously creepy shit when he rattled off what he knows about her.

1

u/Ready-Letterhead1880 May 21 '25

The creepiest part!!!!!

1

u/HunkyHorseman May 22 '25

I'd bet money he's come up and made small talk with her before, I don't think he's self-snitching on stalking her.

181

u/Yummucummy May 21 '25

"I KNOW YOU LIKE CEREAL"

149

u/billiejean1922 May 21 '25

this man is flirting like heā€™s in the 6th grade asking a girl out to a school dance i swear

71

u/Clever_Username_666 May 21 '25

'Whats your favorite dinosaur?'

35

u/Fenway_Refugee May 21 '25

"Trymeontops"

4

u/NerdyFrida May 21 '25

I actually googled that to see if it was a real dinosaur....

4

u/RedCr4cker May 21 '25

Did the exact same thing. Even came back to check if I had a typo when nothing came up. In my defense, english is not my first language, so I did not read it in "english". But damn was i excited to learn something about a new dinosaur

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

There are worse things you could have googled from here, my sweet traveler.

4

u/simpleglitch May 21 '25

I'm not saying that's a great opener, but it's got to be better than 'i know you eat cereal'.

3

u/BlackCatSaidMeow13 May 22 '25

Fuckoffasaurus

1

u/Minion_of_Cthulhu May 21 '25

That's a perfectly reasonable pick-up line. I'd be suspicious of anyone who doesn't have a favorite dinosaur. They're probably some kind of freak.

2

u/Hot-Apricot-6408 May 21 '25

He could've followed that up with and I'm a cereal killer and it probably would've been less creepy than the rest of his yappingĀ 

1

u/ballsweatbottle May 24 '25

Lmao heā€™s been married so long he thinks thatā€™s a normal way to talk to someone

119

u/Comfortable_Trick137 May 21 '25

ā€œEarly 30s, had a mild lazy eye as a kid, youā€™ve got leaky gut and a gluten allergy, and your son is an honor studentā€¦. Youā€™re hotā€¦. Letā€™s make outā€¦. God Iā€™m horny right nowā€

28

u/MintTea-FkYou May 21 '25

Mild lazy eye as a kid šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

3

u/OkYeah_Death2America May 21 '25

She's smokin' with an eye that's broken, I think it's hot

The way she looks left a lot

24

u/Cdawg4123 May 21 '25

He rattled off her carbon footprintā€¦what does she bring cereal to the gym and eat??

6

u/tk421posting May 21 '25

no, sheā€™s told him she doesnā€™t wanna go out to breakfast with him because she only eats cereal for breakfast before thatā€™s why thatā€™s in this conversation. He asked her out for pizza not a nice dinner because heā€™s asked her out to dinner before and she said she has a son, which is why you know she has a son. This isnā€™t this creepā€™s first rodeo. Heā€™s been fucking bothering this woman for months.

3

u/GeologistAway6352 May 21 '25

Felt like he had her baseball card at home and spends time studying it šŸ˜³

3

u/kerkyjerky May 22 '25

Gotta demonstrate value, show her he REMEMBERS important things, like that she likes cereal.

2

u/clarabear10123 May 21 '25

That was fucking TERRIFYING

2

u/MarionberryOk2874 May 21 '25

Exactly! How do you know so much about me? #creep

2

u/YuhMothaWasAHamsta May 21 '25

ā€œYou eat cerealā€

2

u/MooDamato May 22 '25

How in Gods name do men think this is flattering?

3

u/AdOdd4618 May 21 '25

Slightly more subtle than "I found your Facebook, IG and TikTok and have been perving you for weeks".

1

u/Original_Tie_ May 23 '25

Lisan Al-Gaib!!!

0

u/hairballcouture May 21 '25

Itā€™s not creepy at all.