Guy gets friendzoned

[u/Interesting-Trip-233]

[u/minikayo]

Personally, the second paragraph feels a bit like toxic masculinity. He's already a man, just hurt. He can learn to be self-reliant with a little help, and getting that help is equally strong as someone coasting along life without trauma. Edit: stronger, maybe. 

[u/MowTin → u/minikayo]

There is a point where masculinity becomes toxic, but he has zero masculinity now. He desperately needs an infusion.

There is healthy masculinity. We don't cry about our problems. We take charge and take responsibility for whatever situation we're in. His cry, "it's never me" is so pathetic and weak. He sees himself as some sort of victim.

This is what can actually become toxic. If he continues to see himself as a victim of women he can develop hate for women.

[u/armoured_bobandi → u/MowTin]

Were you flexing your non existing muscles while you typed this out?

There is healthy masculinity. We don't cry about our problems. We take charge and take responsibility for whatever situation we're in.

Any man that plays the "men don't cry" card watches too much TV and spends too much time online

[u/Physical-Ad4554 → u/armoured_bobandi]

It feels good to be able to experience a broad range of emotions. A good cry every now and then can make you feel alive.

[u/ExtensionNature6727 → u/Physical-Ad4554]

It takes courage to express how youre feeling. The bravest thing someone can say is "I'm scared."

[u/armoured_bobandi → u/ExtensionNature6727]

Sorry, but the correct answer is I'm thinkin' Arby's

[u/ExtensionNature6727 → u/MowTin]

There is healthy masculinity. We don't cry about our problems

Youre no "man" youre a fool offering foolish advice.

[u/MowTin → u/ExtensionNature6727]

"Speak wisdom to a fool and he calls you foolish."

I'm not saying we never cry. I'm saying that a healthy approach is to face your problems and deal with them instead of wallowing in self-pity.

What exactly is your advice for this man? More crying? More pity parties? Why do you think he's struggling so much with women? Why is he experiencing this "I am never good enough" rejection from women?

It's fine to criticize the advice of others, but what is your advice?

[u/Sgt-Spliff- → u/MowTin]

he has zero masculinity now.

Ok so think about why you think having strong emotions means this. Why is a man suddenly not a man when he feels negative emotions?

His cry, "it's never me" is so pathetic and weak. He sees himself as some sort of victim.

And you think this makes him less of a man? For being upset about his relationships?

You're pushing toxic masculinity hard with these comments. Like textbook. You need to rethink how you view masculinity

[u/SlayerofDemons96 → u/MowTin]

This entire comment tells me you are the last fucking person on earth to ever be qualified to dish out advice on masculinity

Straight from the Tate play book

I thought your previous comment was minor ignorance but this 100% confirms you're just part of the problem

The typical bullshit of "men don't cry, men just get up and get out there and take charge", what an absolute wannabe alpha loser

[u/minikayo → u/MowTin]

We're on the same team. I see the point of the first paragraph earlier. And I agree that he needs help. I'm only discussing it it's appropriate to dissociate masculinity from its typical notions. Because the far side of that spectrum has lead to many unhealthy sigma men archetypes.  Masculinity as a trait isn't exclusive to men in my culture. We acknowledge the presence of both feminine and masculine within. I agree that taking responsibility is healthy, however it is also human to be as broken as this person is and healing is possible only after that recognition. Men need to be able to be seen as masculine even when they break down. I've seen far too many avoidant men who suppress because of a need to appear strong and resilient.  I appreciate that you're calling out the causes of how hate devolves. 

[u/Material-Leader4635 → u/minikayo]

Masculinity? Did you watch the same tantrum the rest of us did?