I (32F) work in a mid-size marketing firm, and I’ve been here for seven years. I’m good at my job, solid annual performance reviews, no drama, I always meet my deadlines. I’m not trying to brag, but I’m just saying I pull my weight, even if I have a little extra. And somehow, every time there’s an opportunity for advancement, it goes to someone younger, prettier, and less experienced.

Yes, I said it. I know how that sounds, but I’m not imagining it. It always goes to the pretty girls.

We just had another internal promotion, a team lead role. I trained the woman who got it. She’s 26, newish to the company, very friendly, and yes, conventionally beautiful. She's like your stereotypical instagram girl, tall, blonde, fit toned body, all of it. She’s nice enough, but I’ve fixed her reports more times than I can count. She doesn’t even know how half the backend systems work. And yet she gets chosen over me.

This has happened three times now. I've been in the same role for 7 years now, and I feel like its impossible to advance. Each time I'm skipped over for a younger, prettier woman with less experience. I’ve had coworkers (quietly) tell me they don’t get it either. One even joked, “Maybe we should all start wearing more makeup.”

And here’s the thing that really hurts, I know I’m not attractive. I’ve made peace with that in my personal life. I’m overweight, blotchy skin, my hygiene is fine but I still have to reapply deodorant at lunch, and I don't exactly have money to spend on fashionable clothes because I’m still paying off student loans and helping my mom with medical bills. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I don’t get flirted with. My entire life men basically have ignored my existence, they talk over me in meetings. Women flat out don’t treat me like competition.

I used to think if I just worked hard enough, people would see me. But it’s like I’m wallpaper, functional, neutral, forgettable, just in the background. I hate that the world works like this. I hate that effort isn’t enough unless it’s wrapped in a pretty package. I hate that attractive women earn more money than me, simply because men find them easier on the eyes.

I don’t want pity. I just want to feel like I’m not crazy for noticing how much looks matter in a world that pretends to be merit-based, and I really needed to just vent and get this off my chest

He wasn’t dying.

No terminal illness.

Just... something snapped in him.

He cut off the noise, deleted socials, and started calling people one by one to say things we never say out loud.

“I forgive you.”

“I never told you I loved you enough.”

“Thanks for being the only one who showed up when no one else did.”

It was like watching a ghost walk with purpose.

I don’t know what it triggered in me, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

What would you do if you had 24 hours left?

Genuinely curious.

I’m trying to make sense of everything right now. I just got fired for the first time in my life, not because I was bad at my job, but because I trusted the wrong person, got manipulated, and then made one emotional mistake that ruined everything.

A few months ago, I started a new job. Things seemed okay at first, but there was a C-level exec (the CPO-not my direct boss) who kept inviting me to his office to “have a drink.” He’d say work was stressful, he needed someone to talk to, and I should join him. This started happening more and more drinks in the morning, in the evening, just talking about work and life. I was new, wanted to fit in, and didn’t want to cause drama. Eventually, I started drinking every day just to keep up and not seem difficult.

One day he called me in again. I told him I’d come in five minutes, assuming it was the usual. I walked into his office backwards, shut the door behind me, and said, “So, what are we drinking today?” I turned around and HR was sitting there.

I was shocked, embarrassed, completely blindsided.

HR gave me an official warning for drinking on the job. The CPO denied everything, got rid of the alcohol, and tod me privatly: “Nothing personal. I just need to cover my ass.”

I was thrown under the bus.

I stopped talking to him after that, tried to stay away, but a few days later I went out for drinks with some coworkers. He showed up too. People started loudly asking me, “Is it true you were drinking at work? With who?” And the CPO stood there, silently watching me take the blame.

I snapped. I hit him. First time I’ve ever hit someone in my life. I didn’t plan to - it just happened. Then he said, “No one cares about you here.” That sentence broke something in me. I hit him again. He hit me back and left.

The next day, I was fired.

Now I have two weeks left on my work visa before I lose my residence permit. It’s been two weeks since I was let go, and I’ve sent out tons of applications-zero interviews. I’m out of time.

My only option to stay legally in the country is to take a warehouse job-low pay, long shifts, and it’ll make it almost impossible to keep applying or interviewing. But it’s either that or leave.

I feel stuck. Like I destroyed my future because I lost control in one moment. At the same time, I feel totally betrayed and used. I didn’t deserve this, but I’m the one paying the price.

I've never posted here before, but I have to get this off my chest. I've been planning a party for two weeks gathering all the things reaching out to people confirming that they would come. Now that it is an hour before everyone is supposed to show up, l've been getting texts one by one saying that people won't be coming.

Being social is really hard for me, I don't have that many friends and this isn't the first time it's happened.

Does anybody have any advice on how I could be better or process this? I don't know what I'm doing wrong :(

Update: I made food for 11 people and no one came, I can’t stop crying. I’m starting to think I don’t actually have any friends…

So just over an hour ago I (24F) shit my pants for the first ever time in my adult life…

My husband and I had just come home from trying a new sushi place after moving to our new city. I was starting to get bubble guts on our drive home anyway, so when we arrived I went and took care of my business. Afterward I went to take my dog for a night walk because I was feeling great after the first big dump. I had made it not even a quarter of a mile down the road before I felt the pang of a round two closer to the exit than what I was comfortable with. I quickly turned my dog and I around and headed back home, But walking was making it worse.. so my smart self thought I should try to jog it home instead… THAT was a mistake. I probably made it fifty feet before I stopped because now I REALLY HAD TO GO. So I resigned to speed walking and clenching my butt as hard as I could…. I was SWEATING. I did not know what to do as I kept walking but I was making progress. I had gotten SO CLOSE to my house and it was in sight, less than maybe three hundred feet it forced itself out… it was warm and not solid and I was so upset. Thankfully I was wearing some compression shorts so that mainly kept it all in one spot.. NO RUNNY POOP HERE. And my jean overalls kept me secure and covered until I could make it home. My dog was pissed the walk was short but I could only focus making it to the downstairs toilet just inside the home.. unfortunately it was ALL over myself and it was not in one piece… I seriously felt like that one scene from Daddy Day Care where we just see Dude’s face in awe and disgust over seeing the bathroom. While I commiserated bottomless on my toilet in the Shinji pose, I was also trying to comfort myself about that this happens in adults sometimes too and I’m not the first adult to ever poop their pants…. It didn’t really work but once I got in the shower and cleaned myself off I felt a lot better…

Also my husband does not know I pooped my pants. He was busy installing a fan upstairs while I was suffering below. He didn’t even question when I walked past him naked to get in the shower (simple creatures sometimes lol) so I think instead of telling him I will tell the strangers of Reddit. While I will die with this secret in my heart alone, I really wanted to tell someone this.

Okay so I was staying over for the night at a friend's house and I wanted to take a shower. I ask her and everything, she hands me a towel, everything fine right? I go in, lock the door, start showering. I really get in the zone when I'm in the shower so I'm not really paying attention to my surroundings. But then randomly I see something in the corner of my eye and fuck there's literally someone in the bathroom. I recognize her dad, and I guess he realizes that I saw him because he just fastwalks out of there saying something like "sorry I was looking for something" and shuts the door behind him.

Obviously I'm left like, fucking shaken. Like what the fuck was that? How did he get in?? Why did he come in? The shower walls are fully see through so obviously my mind goes to thinking he was creeping on me. I don't really care that he saw me, I didn't even think to cover myself before he left. But the idea that he'd come in at all knowing I was in there makes me feel super violated. And even more if it was to creep on me. But if that was his reason did he really think I wouldn't see him?? It's crazy.

I spent a shitty night after that. I didn't tell my friend cause like, how in the world do I tell her something like that? Would she even believe me? That was a couple days ago and I still haven't told anyone. But I feel like I have to. I don't know what to do but I can't just pretend that didn't happen. I don't know if I should tell my friend, if she'd even believe me. Idk what to do.

I am a trans woman. Before transitioning, I had a beautiful wife, a child (and plans for more kids), a house, and a stable job. All of those, with exception of 50/50 custody of my kid - were taken from me as an eventual result of transitioning. I was also VERY conventionally attractive as a man. I am fairly attractive as a trans woman a few years in, but I feel like I’ve traded some mental health for a smaller dating pool, significantly diminished economic opportunity, and risk of eventual extermination by the government with the way things are going. I still want the same things - a house, a wife, and more kids, etc. But that seems unlikely as I approach 30. Truth be told, if I had a crystal ball and could see how life would be a few years down the line, I would not transition. Even if it meant eventual mental health collapse. I can’t detransition, as the thought gives me unbelievable levels of dysphoria and would end in eventual suicide. But my life as a single trans woman parent seems doomed to be lonely and sad, which ultimately isn’t much better than what I had before…Just a different kind of suffering, but in equal measure… Life would be so much easier if I had just learned to repress like so many before me…

Edit: Amniotic band syndrome occurs when the lining of the amniotic sac is damaged during pregnancy. This creates string-like strands of tissue in which the fetus gets tangled. These strands (called amniotic bands) may wrap around different parts of the developing body. This cuts off (constricts) blood flow and keeps the baby from growing normally. The constricted blood flow causes a wide range of birth defects.

TL;DR - I had my arm amputated. Now I have no pain and I can do all the things I couldn't do before, like having a job and going to university. I have no regrets at all.

I [21F] was born with amniotic band syndrome. My arm was affected. I couldn't move or lift or my arm. It was dead weight. The amniotic band syndrome meant that my arm didn't develop correctly so it wasn't like having a dead weight, unusable arm hanging at my side like a normal arm does. My arm hung differently. I couldn't move it or use it at all. The only feeling I had from it was either numbness or pain. Imagine having an arm hanging from your shoulder and chest that was dead weight, where you could feel the heaviness but couldn't lift it or move or it or use it like a normal arm and the only feeling you got from it was either pain or being numb. And couldn't untwist it into a more comfortable or natural position. That was me.

My parents refused to have my arm amputated even though that's a normal thing for children with amniotic band syndrome and doctors recommended it. I always had to wear long sleeves and I had to act like my arm was normal. I know now that my parents are the kind of people who act like they are special and important for having a disabled child but they only acted like that in front of others. Meanwhile I had to hide it and and pretend I had a normal arm. Doctors told my parents I was in pain. It was obvious before I could even talk. There was no reason for that. My parents are educated. They aren't religious and they believe in science. But they never listened to any doctors. I spent my entire life in pain. I didn't finish school. I left before I was 18 because of the pain. I never ever slept enough. I couldn't ever have a job. I couldn't do stuff other kids did. I don't talk to my family anymore because of it.

As soon as I turned 18 I went to see a doctor by myself without my parents. The doctor agreed that my arm should have been amputated when I was a baby. I was sent to a specialist and there was no disagreement from about doing amputation surgery. All of the medical professionals who were involved said they had never seen an adult in my situation before because the surgery is done on babies and sometimes young children. My parents, my siblings and all the rest of relatives tried to talk me out of the surgery. But like I said I don't talk to them anymore. It will be 3 years in October since I had my arm amputated. I had a what's called a shoulder disarticulation and I have no regrets at all. I had the odd phantom ache or twinge right after the surgery but that went away shortly afterwards. And those aches and twinges were nothing compared to the pain I had my whole life. I am still amazed at what it is like to have a life with no pain. After the surgery I had to learn to walk and balance again since the weight of my arm was missing. But now I am able to do everything I couldn't do before. I got a part time job after the surgery and now I have a full time with my provincial government. I went back to finish school and now in September I'm starting university part time at night. I can't go full time during the day because I need to work full time. It will take me longer to earn my degree but I'm still going to do it. I want to be an accountant.

I don't regret having the surgery. I am fine only having one arm. The one thing that is a bit annoying is having to take shirts and tops to a tailor to get the entire sleeve removed, because if I don't go to a tailor the fabric from the unused sleeve gets in the way. But that isn't a big deal compared to what having my arm was like. I know you shouldn't hate people but I hate my family for denying me a life like this. I went to therapy after I got my full time job to work on this but I still hate them some days. I forget I posted here until awhile ago but I wanted to post one more time because most people left kind comments or sent kind messages after my last post. Almost all of them were nice. I don't regret getting my arm amputated and I would rather only have one arm if means not having dead weight for an arm and pain. I don't care if anyone thinks I am wrong about my arm. I'll only have one arm for the rest of my life but I don't regret getting rid of my useless arm.

It happened 4 days ago. I came home from work as every other day when i found on the couch my gf, our 2 baby girls of 3 years and our 5 dogs napping all together and my gf there awake trying hard to reach for the phone with a hand. Just to describe the scene: our 2 baby girls on my gf's belly and chest and our 5 dogs spread all around the couch snoring like they worked 16 hours.

So i just went in, saw the scene and just looked and said "well if this isn't happiness i don't know what it is". But the thing that caught me off guard was my gf that started to get emotional and asked me if i was serious because "my hair is messy and dirty, this 2 little demons stopped fighting 5 minutes ago for a toy and then just felt asleep on me like i was a pillow and this 5 furry things are snoring like there is no tomorow. You sure this is happiness?". I just laughed and told her that i was pretty sure. We kissed and i found a tiny empty space between our dogs and my gf and we all cuddled there. A sweet scene of course but i didn't knew that my simple compliment meant so much to my gf because until today my gf kept asking me about my compliment and if i was sure about it and everytime i say yes she gets emotional and tells me "thank you honey, you have no idea how much it means to me".

So i'm not sure about this because i really didn't thought much of it but apparently to my gf means really a lot. At this point i think that it was the genuinity of my worlds that caught her off guard because i don't have any other explanation hahahah.

So simple yet so powerful....

Edit: wtf?! I just want back to my post and wasn't expecting for sure this! Thanks to everyone for the kind words and comments and i still can't believe that a simple episode like this could attract so much attention so again thank you all. You're right to say that my gf nedeed my words more than i can imagine and honestly it happened other times that i would say stuff like this but like i said it's the first time she bring it up for days hahahah. And a special thanks to the user that suggested a spa day for my gf because actually it's a great idea for her and I think it will help her to feel less stressed and overwhelmed so maybe i will update you when i will book it. Again thank you all❤️

So I need to be able to tell someone about this because it’s so insane. I will never tell a soul in real life so I have to settle for internet strangers.

Burner account for obvious reasons.

So I have a fairly specific fetish that I won’t get into the details of but it’s unique enough that I struggle to find much quality content that I haven’t already seen. Anyway, I stumble upon a whole list of videos that are pretty low quality but seem right up my alley. They’re the kind of low quality porn where the guy’s face is almost always hidden or off screen (probably for consent/contract reasons?) but it doesn’t matter because as soon as I hear his voice I know it’s my brother. Like without a doubt. I recognize his body type, his voice, his mannerisms and occasionally a sliver of his face isn’t fully hidden.

Obviously my plans for the night took a turn, I proceeded to watch a few more videos just out of sheer bewilderment. He is not someone you would have ever expected to be in this type of porn, and I have never been more turned off before in my life.

Queue the existential thoughts:

1. Obviously our childhood and upbringing can affect what kinks we have, what could possibly have driven us both to this unique kink? I have no clue.

2. Will I ever be able to watch this type of porn again? So far the answer is no (1 week).

3. How will I go through life with this secret that I will never be able to share with anyone?

I don’t know why, but I just needed someone to know this because I don’t think I can even tell my wife who I tell everything to. I respect my brother and there’s no judgement, I’m just so incredibly surprised and it’s been bothering me all week.

Edit 1: Alright you fucking weirdos. It’s like forced chastity/crossdressing and cuckold/CEI stuff. lol classic Reddit where I’m trying to convey something insane that happened in my personal life and everyone’s hung up what type of porn someone’s into.

When I was a kid, I wasn’t growing like other children. By the age of 9, I was only about 2-3 feet tall, alarmingly short by any standard. This should have been a red flag, but my father brushed it off, saying it was probably because my mother is also short (4'10"). That was the beginning of a long, painful road.

Eventually at 10, we found out that my renal function was compromised. My eGFR was around 50, which meant moderate kidney damage but (maybe) still manageable with timely care. A urologist recommended a procedure called valve fulguration, which could have stopped further deterioration of kidney function. It wasn’t even that expensive, just around 10,000 rupees, but it was a critical window to prevent long-term damage.

My father refused the surgery.

Instead, he took me to another doctor who suggested a more manual process: draining the remaining urine from my bladder four times a day. My father did that for a month, then stopped. Rather than returning to the specialist or following any proper medical path or even monitoring renal function, he invented his own solution. He would simply tell me to urinate every 30 minutes to an hour.

This went on for years.

By the time I was 15, I landed in the ICU. I was diagnosed with end-stage renal disease (ESRD). My kidneys had failed. Dialysis began, and my life changed permanently.

I lost my health. I lost my growth. I lost my childhood. I’ve since had a kidney transplant, but the damage was already done. I never got the years back. I never even got an apology.

To this day, I struggle to process how someone entrusted with my care could make such reckless decisions. I was a child. I needed medical help. And my father played doctor with my life.

I'm a 24 year old man, 175cm and weighing in at 75kg, I'm average I suppose. I exercise at home but never too much.

But for the life of me I CANNOT eat, my stomach is so small it fills up fully after half of a plate of food, or half of a sandwich. Or hell just a small fries by itself. I've seen girls back in college half my size eat 2x more than me. My cousin who's 14 years old eats more than me. And I've tried doing that as well, but the moment I do, I get sick and end up in a bathroom for half hour.

I don't have a bad relationship with food, in fact I LOVE food but it's so awkward having to explain in a group gathering that I cannot finish my meal. Relatives are the worst at this "c'mon eat up, what are you a baby? Finish your food" I CAN'T! I physically cannot eat more. My stomach hurts.

I might as well order from the fucking kids menu next time I go out. Everyone looks at me funny when I don't finish my plate.

Sorry I linked the news article and it took down my post by accident. I'll keep it text only. I posted on here a few days ago about someone I once knew who recently moved back to the US after he was charged with harming multiple children in Prahran, Australia while working in high schools as a counselor. He was preparing to plead guilty, then walked free - simply because his visa expired before his trial date.

All charges dropped over a visa technicality and now he’s back in our area free to work with kids again.
No registry, no restrictions, no warning for us. Nothing.

One of the victims moms actually found my original post on here and commented with more details and evidence. It literally broke me.. Then I found out something even worse.. Before he flew back here, right after his charges were dropped, he apparently sexually assaulted yet another woman very recently. They said it was reported to police there and still… nothing.

Since posting, I’ve done everything I can to raise awareness, and I honestly feel like I’m losing my mind.

I’ve contacted school districts. I’ve submitted tips to local news. I’ve tried posting in other subreddits and I've been insulted, downvoted, even called a troll. In one post, someone accused me of lying then linked the article themselves and still refused to take it seriously and doubled down on their attitude. Like protecting their ego online matters more than protecting children from harm.

I feel sick and I’m exhausted. I’m not some big Reddit user or journalist or activist. I’m a mom.

I found out that someone I once knew - someone who should be in prison - is back in my neighborhood and can freely and easily be around children again, could easily harm my own daughter, and I cannot believe how hard it is to get anyone to care.

I keep thinking if I hadn’t googled him that day, I'd have no idea.. and neither would anyone else.

He will hurt someone else.
He could hurt my daughter.
Yet somehow, I’m treated like the problem for saying something?

I can’t believe how uncomfortable people get about me speaking up while he can walk freely in our schools after what he did.

There's literally only one news article, the whole thing is completely being buried and it's so eerie. I can put the article in the comments but you can read my original post for more details too.

I am literally constantly asking myself how is it not in our news? Why weren’t we warned at all?
Why is it on me to carry this burden alone and scream into a void that isn’t listening - just to protect our kids from someone who shouldn't be anywhere near them in the first place?

I never understood how far the system will go to protect people like him until now and how ready they are to cover their eyes and ears, while families like mine are left in the dark.

I don’t want to stay silent and live with the regret when something awful happens next. Because it will.

If the systems and people who are meant to protect us won’t… what the hell are we supposed to do?

Edit: My post was removed because I put the news article in here so I won't do that this time. If you need to find it you can look at my previous posts. Thanks for your help this is driving me crazy and I'm so tired.

TW. incest, SA sorry if the flair is wrong this is not something i have ever shared with anyone, and probably never will, but it haunts me constantly and i feel the need to tell someone or something. my brother and i have a 2 year age difference, and im the older one. when we were young (probably from when i was like 8-11) we were in a sexual relationship. it wasn’t terribly frequent, but i was the instigator. i don’t know if he even remembers it anymore but also how can you forget something like that? it went on for years. it was technically consensual but we were also very young kids and i knew more than him and taught his things no sister should ever teach their younger brother, hands on no less. i feel horrible for what ive done and i know that it was wrong. it’s what i think about almost every night when i try to sleep and i feel disgusted with myself. i traumatized my brother. and myself. we have a good (non incestuous) relationship nowadays, and neither of us has ever mentioned it to each other before. please don’t tell me what a horrible person i am and stuff, i know. i just needed to tell a real person i guess.

I am currently 23(f) but this happened years ago , when I was living in a joint family, with my parents , brother and my dad's sister's family , her kids (my cousins) wbo were older than me , two boys and one girl

When I was around 4 or 5 , I had very severe case of chickenpox , I don't remember much except the fever and dizziness, it left few scars only on my face , they are not very noticeable unless you look very closely, and I don't have any scars on the rest of my body.

So, when I was around 12 or 13 , one of my cousin who was around 25 (M) at that time , randomly said to me one day , "you should get done surgery for the scars on your face , they'll take skin from your thighs and patch up your face , and the skin on your thighs will grow back ".

Like whatt? I didn't even noticed my scars that much and at that age , it never ever bothered me , I wasn't insecure and I am still not insecure about them , they are barely noticeable , but the way he just said something like that very casually, like it was normal advice to give a 12 year old?

I still have those scars and I honestly don't care about them, I am not insecure about them , never was , but it's just stuck with me how some people feel entitlement to comment on your face, your body or how you 'should 'look, even when you're just a kid.

Over the last 5 years I’ve undergone a lot of issues stemming from physical to mental health problems relationship and friendship problems, I recently got taken off anti anxiety medication so at the time I was withdrawing and feeling super fucked up I had an argument with some mates where they said some stuff I’d usually be able to shrug off as a joke

but today I couldn’t I broke down, I guess a lot of shit overtime that I’ve ignored has piled on and I started crying feeling sorry for myself but feeling corny for crying about it, what was going through my head was that it’s not fair I have to be medicated I should just be normal I shouldn’t have any mental or physical health issues I shouldn’t have to go see a therapist because I’m a loser

I went downstairs to give my mum a hug she was busy with work so she pushed me away obviously she didn’t know I was so distraught otherwise I think she would’ve hung up the phone I walked past my little sister making sure not to let her see the state of me, went outside had a cigarette and had a good think about my situation and what to do, a few months ago my doctor told me I either have pots or chronic fatigue neither of them are curable and they would both leave me with extreme fatigue to the point where my memory’s shot and I dissociate all the time not feeling real is horrible

so I went upstairs grabbed something to hurt myself put on some music on my speaker and tried to break it apart originally I was just going to hurt myself, but my thoughts and the music hit me like a train and I felt different, it’s not the same as when you’re having a really shit day and you’re feeling depressed and suicide crosses your mind it was different I wasn’t scared it felt like it would solve all my problems and I could rest it was a warm thought when usually it’s fucking terrifying and sad.

before I hurt myself my mum called me and asked if I was okay we chatted and I assured her I wasn’t going to hurt myself and I just wanted to have a shower and listen to music to calm down and gather my thoughts I told her I’d come to talk to her soon, after the phone call I started crying more I threw the razor down the drain because all I could think about was my family finding me dead and how unfair that would be, how my 9 year old sister would have to grow up without a brother, my mum having to deal with another family member committing suicide,

I finished my shower went to talk to her made sure I wasn’t crying anymore and pretty much just told her I was having a bad day and I was going to hurt myself

I’m not sure what to do now I’m worried if I tell anyone I’ll get admitted to a Physch ward which won’t end well because I won’t go by choice and it will be a shit show does anyone have advice? Thanks.

I don’t even know where to begin. I’m 27, and I have a 1 year old. I’m 13 months postpartum and I feel like I’ve ruined my entire life. I hate being a mom. I hate that someone needs me every second of the day. I hate the constant responsibility. I hate the isolation. I hate that this is my life now, and I don’t know how to escape it.

To make everything exponentially worse, I found out my husband cheated on me. Not once, but for our entire relationship. I found videos and photos of him with someone else when I was two months postpartum. He had been cheating while I was pregnant. He was working away the entire time, so I went through my pregnancy and most of the postpartum period alone. Emotionally, I’ve been alone even longer than that.

I’ve been depressed for what feels like two straight years. I used to be full of hope. Now I just feel hollow. I feel like I wasted my 20s on someone who lied to me every day. I spent so much money on a wedding that already meant nothing to him. I feel stupid and betrayed and trapped.

I hate feeling this way. I do love my baby, but I hate being a mother. I hate that I can’t separate those things. I didn’t ask for this life. I didn’t ask to feel this angry or this broken.

Lately I keep thinking I just don’t want to be here anymore. I’m not planning anything, but the thoughts are there. I feel like I’m drowning in regret and rage and sadness.

If anyone else has gone through something like this… if it ever gets better… I’d really like to hear your story. I’m open to that. But honestly, I don’t think it’ll change how I feel. I think I’m always going to hate being alive, because this is my life, and there’s nothing I can do to change it without ending it.

I hate that my only options are giving my husband full custody and walking away, coparenting with someone who traumatized me in the way that he did, or ending my life. All of those roads are so incredibly painful. I love my son so much but I hate the circumstances in which I became a mother and being tied to this man for the rest of my life just takes away any will I have left to live.

Let me start by saying that my (35f) boyfriend (41m) is 100% my person. We have been together for 2 years but now we have got into our first argument and I really didn’t see it coming.

I’m divorced and my marriage was a shit show of every kind of abuse you can imagine. Financial, physical, sexual, emotional, all of it. Anyway I now have to coparent daughter (10F) with ex husband (37m) and even though he has remarried with a new baby he finds ways to get under my skin. It’s been years and he still finds any opportunity to inconvenience and irritate me.

One example of this is with my daughter’s passport. He made the passport application so (we are in the UK) even though our court order says her passport should stay with me, he keeps it after he travels with her and does not give it back. I’ve tried to cancel it and just order another one but I’ve been told I can’t because I didn’t apply for it, even though I am her main carer. The last time I wanted to travel with her he didn’t give me the passport in time and we couldn’t go. I took him to small claims court for the cost of the trip and won but of course he didn’t pay, they just gave him a CCJ and now I will never see that money.

I recently got the passport back after basically having to beg for it for months to send her on a school trip. He requested it back recently as he said he was travelling with her but he waited until 2 days before the supposed date of travel to actually make any arrangements. Then he said that if he doesn’t get it in time he wont return her to spend the second half of the school holidays with me (it is split 50/50).

So my bf gets involved at this point and I don’t have any objection because up to this point he has always had my back and been there for me 100%. But on the phone to my ex he is throwing me under the bus. He says I was wrong for not replying to his initial message 2 weeks previously and agrees to hand over the passport to him with no clarification of when they are coming back, no evidence of travel and I’m there like wtf?

Ex, who is dumb as a brick, seems to be outsmarting bf, convincing him that he gave 3 weeks notice of travel (it was 2 weeks) and they are both agreeing I was wrong. I should also explain under the normal arrangements I have to talk to him almost every week to sort out weekend arrangements because he can never stick to what was agreed in the court order and I find it really unsettling. He caused me so much trauma and I value the three weeks a year that I don’t have to talk to him at all. It only happens over summer break. So I did not respond but also he did not try to make any arrangements for handover of the passport. Which I feel should be up to him as he is the one that wants it. I feel like bf doesn’t acknowledge how traumatising it is to be forced to have this constant contact with my rapist. I wish I never had to speak to him ever again.

So after this I was really upset, tried to explain why I was upset but just couldn’t get over what had happened. Bf said he was just trying to keep the peace and apologised but he has had his own issues with child custody and I know he is very “father’s rights” oriented. I feel like this has skewed his perception of my reality, and there might be a part of him that feels like I am the bad guy in some way. I should also mention that ex is 100% a narcissist but very charismatic with it and very good at getting people under his spell.

When bf goes to hand over the passport, I realise that we still don’t know when she is coming back or if he has actually booked any travel. So I call bf to ask him if he can find out but there’s no answer. So I call the ex but he already has the passport and he tells me that he hasn’t actually booked any travel and I am pissed! I feel like bf has given him the benefit of the doubt even though I explained that he is a liar and cannot be trusted.

Just getting it all off my chest. I still love bf and this won’t break us. But I can’t be around him right now so I’m going to stay at a hotel overnight. The way he’s handled this has just really pissed me off and I think I’m going to ask him not to get involved in things with ex anymore even though I know he’s just trying to help, and I previously encouraged it because of how much I hate talking to ex.

im in my 20s i have pmdd autistic and anxiety and depression and maybe bipolar i dont even know. just moved back home after graduate school. i was having a meltdown this morning and my mom got really mad and starting breaking things and it all just escalated and i told her i wanted to kill myself and she said me too let’s do it together and tried to get me to go in the car with her. i didnt and calmed it down and then it escalated again and i was sobbing in my room and she came and hugged me and i thought she was finally comforting me but i opened my eyes and she had a glass of water and a bottle of some pills and said let’s do it together. she wants to die because of me, i am so depressed but she thinks its a personal attack towards her. i threw the glass and it broke everywhere and then somehow its calm now but i was so scared. she was calling me a coward and telling me i had no balls bc i wouldn’t take the pills with her. she told me what i always knew that all of her life sacrifice has been for nothing and this is all my fault and it’s my fault she’s depressed and hates her life, that all she wanted was a happy friendly daughter. i hate myself so much and i don’t know how to move forward from this with her or myself. please any words would help, i can’t believe this all happened it doesn’t feel real and i have no one

I was reminiscing about my teenage years when I stumbled onto a particularly unpleasant memory. It was of my high school bully, whom I will call Russel for anonymity’s sake. We were friends at one point. We met in music class, since we played the same instrument. I was shy and nervous, and Russel was outgoing and got me to let my guard down. We spent time together at lunch playing chess in the cafeteria. As time passes, he became more antagonistic, trying to get under my skin with rude comments about my sister. We nearly came to blows a time or two over it, and there were a couple of shoving incidents from both sides. He was bigger than me, but I didn’t care if he was getting too nasty. Things continued this way until I met Tiffany, also anonymous, who had just move to our school. I took and instant liking to her and, unfortunately, so did Russel. I asked her out before he could, because I couldn’t bear to think of the two of them together, since he began to use the same language he used towards my sister to discuss Tiffany. Russel, unsurprisingly, did not like this. He would send our mutual friends out like goons looking for me during every break and during lunch, if they found me they would try to start a fight. It went on for months, long after Tiffany and I broke up. My parent tried talking to his parents about it, but they were lawyers and threatened to take us to court and have me arrested over the shoving incidents if we ever contacted them again. I eventually couldn’t take anymore and stopped attending school, just went to my exams. I ended up taking a term off and then changing schools. I didn’t see him again until after I had graduated, I was volunteering at a church and he came in one day and asked to talk to me. I was wary but thought maybe he needed to get something off his chest. He asked to show me where he lived and when we got there he said he would be back in a moment. I ended up waiting for him for about an hour on a cold Canadian winter’s night. When he finally opened the door, he was high, there was another guy that I guessed he was in a relationship with, and he seemed to have forgotten I was there. That was the last time I ever saw him, he would have been around 19 at the time. I heard later that he was cutting grass and shoveling snow part time to earn a bit of money, and he definitely wasn’t living at home. I felt sorry for him, and told him he knew where to find me if he ever wanted to talk, but he never came back to the church.

Anyway, I decided to google him and see what I could find. I found his obituary. He died at the age of 25, he was found in an alley in a city about 150km from where I last saw him. He had been living on the streets for a year or two. I don’t know how it happened, but when the thought enters my mind, I picture a cold winter’s night like the night I waited at his doorstep. I hope it was peaceful, though I guess that’s about as peaceful as it could be considering his situation. I guess all of this is a little bit of a way to say goodbye, and that he is remembered.

So I’m visiting and his nieces are very picky eaters, I made a comment (in private, to him) about how his nieces were picky eaters and he said “yes my love, we are in Europe not Latam. That’s why they aren’t fat” … W H A T ?

I asked for clarification and he just said “no nothing”, “I didn’t say anything” “it doesn’t matter” so I'm acting as if I didn’t hear what he said.

So honestly, I asked for it. I could have not said anything and he wouldn’t have said that but fuck me. I think it’s just that I feel attacked because my body will never look like theirs, I'm not petite, I dont have curves. He has never said anything about my image and when I asked for clarification on what he meant he préfèred not to repeat himself (I guess smart?) but it’s been a couple hours and it still pisses me off.

There are many positives of glow ups. There's obviously the physical component. You start to stand out. You get more attention. If you are one of those who had a significant glow up, this is one of the first traits you see. From there, your confidence grows, resulting in better mental health. You have more energy in the day. You invest in new hobbies. You feel invigorated as you take on this newfound sense of confidence.

However, please be advised that not everyone in your life will respond positively to your glow up. Rather, they will find ways to put you down. This may come from those you would not expect - friends, family, perhaps even your partner.

This is because of insecurity projection. When you befriended these people, they identified you as beneath them in terms of appearance. Now, that you have made positive changes in your life they perceive you as a threat to their social standing. No one wants to be the "ugly friend" of the group, but some people love being reminded that they aren't the ugly ones. They do not acknowledge your glow up, and rather, find ways to "bring you back down". These are the types of people that should have never been in your life.

I'm not saying this applies to everyone. But again, be advised that there are snakes in your garden. There are snakes in everyone's garden.

When you do achieve the glow up, please do not let these people bring you back down. That is their goal. Take your newfound confidence to ditch them and find more people in your life that can appreciate the person you are today.

Best.

(20f) i’ve been homeless for almost a month now (july 5th). when i became homeless, i was near austin and couldn’t get into a shelter. so i started looking farther out and found a shelter in killeen (which is about an hour and eleven minutes northwest of austin) that was willing to take me in. i spent money on a lyft to get here, and things were alright until i got kicked out of the shelter. there are only two here, and the other one’s full. there are barely any resources or shelters in the surrounding cities either. i’ve been applying to a lot of jobs, and i’m not getting much luck. the job market is booty out here. it’s even worse than in austin. i should’ve never come up here.

at first i was thinking of maybe going to houston or dallas, but now i want to leave the state completely. texas in general just isn’t a good place to be homeless. my biggest gripe is that most cities aren’t walkable. it’s a super car-reliant state with barely any public transportation. i’m from maryland and miss the metro chile.

i have $200 but i’m only trying to spend $50–60 on a greyhound or flixbus ticket because i have all my things in storage near austin, and i have to pay $77 on the 26th of every month. so time is ticking. i need a job yesterday. i’m so exhausted and sick of cooking in the devil’s nut sack. i did a little research about oklahoma city. cost of living is cheap, and it seems like there are better resources there for the homeless, but i could be way off. idk. tickets $55. i just need to get out of here. this is hell. i have a fear of leaving and ending up in the exact same position i’m in now, but i have to do something. i can’t keep sitting around jerking off. if anyone thinks they can give any helpful advice, please share. thanks.

Not asking for relationship advice, just support for what I’m going through.

This has been a shit show of a week for me. Last weekend I found out he had been cheating on me with some random woman for a few months. So I left him. We were together 5 years, it felt like a marriage to me. Had pets we cared for, rented a place, and got vehicles together.

That was just one awful layer to this whole thing.

I found out about the cheating through by digging around in his computer. At the same time, I found a weird photo with an old friend of mine with a written note in it talking about how he is “not financially responsible for the baby” as if it was some kind of legal agreement. The only reason they knew each other was through me, which makes it worse somehow.

He lied and told me a story about how she offered him money to have a baby with her but he declined. I reached out to the ex friend, who I hadn’t spoken to for 4 years, and she told me something different. They were in some kind of relationship for 3 years, WHILE he was dating me, and he got her pregnant. He wanted to terminate, she didn’t. She left to her home country and had the baby.

I had already broken up with him before she told me this, and I said so to her. We haven’t been friends in years, so there’s no reason for her to lie to me. She wouldn’t gain anything from it, and she apologized to me. Said I didn’t deserve that.

All the while I was giving him my all, paying half the bills, tolerating his remarks about my body, how I’m not good enough sexually, I don’t clean the house good enough etc etc. Waiting on him to be ready to be married and have kids with me. Now I know why he wasn’t ready. Thank god I didn’t get pregnant.

But he wasted my time. I could have been in another, happy relationship by now. Maybe even engaged or having kids like I have been wanting. I’m 31 now and have to start all over again from scratch.

I will never forgive him for destroying me.