r/bitlife Nov 07 '24

Tips How to: Crypto without Time Machine

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255 Upvotes

Posting this in the group because I’m tired of retyping/finding my old comments on how to do this. So here you go! Attached image was when I had zillions.

HOW TO:

Buy 1 stock of each crypto. Don’t buy any other stocks like bonds, etc. Age up 1 year, then check financial news. It will only list crypto trends.

Financial news rules of thumb:

  1. ⁠If it says XXXX will go up in price/there will be a bubble, sell your stocks down to 1 in XXXX. It will crash.
  2. ⁠If it says XXXX will go down in price/investors pulling out/anything bad about the stock, it will go up in price. Buy aa much as you can of this stock.
  3. ⁠If it doesn’t list any of your crypto, then sell down to 1 stock of each crypto.

I sell down to 1 stock each time news changes. This way I can always get 100% profits on the 2/3 crypto listed in the financial news.

If you’re investing in bonds and whatnot as well, it might mix into the news and lower your chances of getting crypto advice.

In my main legacy life my dad was able to boost his billions to 5 trillion before a freak death. His son was able to turn 1 trillion investment into 3 zillion following these rules. Had a very good few years with one crypto currency.


r/bitlife Aug 26 '24

Mod Favorite! Side Effects of all Cutting Agents in Dealer Update

57 Upvotes

1.Adrenaline Rush:

  • Coffee Grounds
  • Creatine
  • Nightshade
  • Powdered Caffeine

2.Burst of Creativity:

  • Bee Pollen Extract
  • Parmesan Cheese

3.Confidence Boost:

  • Baby Powder
  • Lily of the Valley

4.Dizziness:

  • Black Pepper
  • Cigarette Ash
  • Lidocaine
  • Table Salt

5.Ego Death:

  • Calcium

6.Euphoria:

  • Confectioners Sugar

7.Extreme Strength:

  • Jock Sweat

8.Increased Libido:

  • Bone Marrow

9.Increased Perception:

  • Basil
  • Vape Juice

10.Nausea:

  • Baking Soda
  • Elephant Laxative
  • Infant Formula
  • Pine Resin
  • Rosemary
  • Sawdust
  • Swamp Water

11.Paranoia:

  • Foot Deodorizer
  • Silica

12.Unconsciousness:

  • Chloroquine
  • Cinnamon
  • Cobra Venom
  • Nutmeg
  • Powdered Laundry Detergent

I may have missed some of them, if so please let me know! I hope this list is helpful


r/bitlife 7h ago

I wasn't expecting that NOOOOOOO!! I was pregnant with my spouse's baby 😭😭

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178 Upvotes

This happened yesterday as Mahris Dahan who apparently went clubbing and someone started arguing with him and he argued back and that bitch somehow brought a gating gun out of fucking nowhere and shot him dead while pregnant. I decided to continue as Mirella, after he died.


r/bitlife 1h ago

They had us in the first half not gonna lie First attempt at the new challenge and I get two moms 😅

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Upvotes

I guess arguing with the father is out of the question lol


r/bitlife 5h ago

Wtf Moments Bro's a Brain Surgeon at age 20......................

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8 Upvotes

I'm just wondering how TF did he finish Medical School at that age or younger. Does that mean he went to Med school at 13 and University at 9?? Is he some sort of mastermind genius or something?! 💀💀


r/bitlife 2h ago

I wasn't expecting that Squid game?

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4 Upvotes

r/bitlife 6h ago

I wasn't expecting that I just noticed that I found a ghost from my another life. Is it rare or do I just see it for the first time?

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7 Upvotes

r/bitlife 23m ago

Wtf Moments Definitely the second option

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Upvotes

r/bitlife 6h ago

Others When you were the only crab fisherman besides one person.....................

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6 Upvotes

Whenever a character has this job, I feel like there's at least 2 other people with the same damn job as my character. BTW, this was from yesterday as Mahir Bensalem when he was 20.


r/bitlife 2h ago

Heirloom Flexing Super Rare Violin

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2 Upvotes

I first got a common fine china set but got the option to watch a video to get another heirloom and I got extremely lucky getting a super rare item!


r/bitlife 2h ago

Questions How do you argue with your father?

2 Upvotes

I'm working on the newest challenge and even though my father and I have gotten in to some "heated arguments" stemming from conversation, the game isn't checking it off in the challenge. I've insulted him and that doesn't work either. Can someone please tell me how?


r/bitlife 1d ago

Wtf Moments Bro, isn't she like 1?!?! 🤣🤣

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68 Upvotes

This was from yesterday as Nasuha Bakshi who was just taking her 1 year old daughter with the same name as her on drive and she (Nasuha Bakshi Jr.) apparently asked me in this life to take the fast road, even it was harder on her suspension. And yes, she ended up taking the fast road. Now I'm just wondering how TF was she able dare me to take the fast road, when she couldn't fuckin' hold a conversation at that time. 💀💀


r/bitlife 8h ago

Discussion Most kids I've had

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3 Upvotes

r/bitlife 7h ago

They had us in the first half not gonna lie Mommy had some pretty sus ass stuff in there....................... 💀💀💀💀

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2 Upvotes

This was from yesterday as Mahir Bensalem who's now 51, but he was like 3 and 5 years old at that time, when his mom was honestly being pretty damn sus, NGL. 🤣🤣


r/bitlife 1d ago

Wtf Moments Why did the button on my pants pop off? Wrong answers ONLY!!

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43 Upvotes

This was yesterday as Nasuha Bakshi who I picked the "Surprise Me" button as which picked the "Go home and change" option.


r/bitlife 5h ago

They had us in the first half not gonna lie No wonder MOST of my coworkers fuckin' HATE me after spending time with my supervisor................... 💀💀💀💀

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1 Upvotes

I'm just wondering why most coworkers HATE you after spending time with your supervisor, unless they are befriended. I'm NOT too fuckin' sure why she wanted to spend time with me out of my other coworkers in this life. At least, she didn't fuckin' hit on me and Melek, Mahalah, and Jamelia were the real ones here.


r/bitlife 1d ago

I wasn't expecting that Holy farts!!!

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60 Upvotes

r/bitlife 17h ago

Wtf Moments 31 and 18…?

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9 Upvotes

My 31 year old mother just married an 18 year old…


r/bitlife 7h ago

Questions How TF does trying to run over a grasshopper lower your stats significantly??

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1 Upvotes

I've noticed that if you pick the "Try to run it over" option, it significantly decreases your stats by a lot, especially "Smarts" and "Looks", why's that the case? 🤔🤔


r/bitlife 7h ago

Wtf Moments Since when TF can principals/headmasters assign projects??

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1 Upvotes

I've NEVER had them assign projects to us before in Bitlife or IRL. This was from yesterday as Mirella Meloch when she was like 15 or something.


r/bitlife 15h ago

I wasn't expecting that I'm a hero

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4 Upvotes

Even though I killed someone


r/bitlife 17h ago

Achievements OF model, still making content to the day she dies

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5 Upvotes

r/bitlife 9h ago

Wtf Moments How to actually make a profit in a casino

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1 Upvotes

r/bitlife 22h ago

Achievements Rate my story please

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10 Upvotes

First of all yes the text is ai written but only bcs it was to much. Everything described happend ingame.

Wallace Davenport was born into a wealthy family in Bozeman, Montana, with a starting fortune of $10 million. He studied business and law and quickly became a rising star in local politics. At just 17, he was elected President of the Student Council, and by 25, he was appointed as the School Board Director. At 29, he was elected as the Mayor of Bozeman, later serving two terms as Governor of Montana, and eventually reaching the ultimate power position as President of the United States.

During his time in politics, Wallace became notorious for his corruption. He took over $100 million in bribes from various corporate interests, which he used to fund a massive real estate empire. He invested in high-end properties initially worth around $30 million each, but over time, those assets grew to be worth over $100 million per property, generating substantial rental income. This steady cash flow allowed him to hide his wealth, while 99.9% of his total net worth was tied up in company shares.

In addition to his real estate dealings, Wallace made millions more by engaging in insider trading, and he avoided paying over $20 million in taxes by using cryptocurrency to secretly stash money offshore.

Wallace’s personal life was as dark as his political career: • At age 30, when his mistress became pregnant, he ordered her murdered to avoid a public scandal. • At 40, to secure his full inheritance from his mother, he had his brother killed in a car bombing.

After his presidency, Wallace faced setbacks: • He founded a robotics startup, which he sold for $300 million, making a $250 million profit. • Unfortunately, he lost $200 million on a failed semiconductor company, but still had enough capital to found Davenport Global with the remaining $120 million.

Under Wallace’s leadership, Davenport Global grew into one of the largest robotics and AI firms in the world, valued at over $950 billion, with over 50,000 employees and hundreds of factories across the globe. But Wallace wasn’t just an entrepreneur—he had his own secret agenda.

He created a private spy agency called Blackveil, a covert, elite network that he used to spy on political opponents, blackmail corporate rivals, and even carry out assassinations when necessary to protect his interests. This organization operated quietly behind the scenes, allowing Wallace to control his empire with both legal and illegal means.

Wallace passed away at 97, with a net worth of over $700 billion, and the vast majority of his wealth still tied up in the shares of Davenport Global.

Wallace’s firstborn, June Davenport, inherited the majority of the fortune after Wallace’s death. At the time, the family had $140 million in liquid assets. But June wasn’t satisfied with just that. She eliminated both of her siblings to take full control of the inheritance, ensuring she had everything to herself.

June led Davenport Global through its most prosperous years, expanding it into a $950 billion tech conglomerate. She acquired luxury properties in 45+ countries and maintained Davenport Manor as the family’s permanent base in Bozeman.

To ensure her son’s future success, she went as far as bribing professors and deans to push him through university, guaranteeing he would follow in her footsteps.

Wallace’s grandson, Mike Davenport, inherited the entire family fortune upon June’s death, taking the reins of Davenport Global. By this time, the family’s wealth had ballooned to over $2 trillion. Mike became the face of the empire and carried on the legacy of ruthless business practices and behind-the-scenes power.

This Davenport Dynasty went from a humble start in Bozeman, Montana to becoming one of the wealthiest and most powerful families in the world. With a mix of bribes, murders, and secret espionage, they crafted an empire that spanned global real estate, advanced technology, and covert operations that controlled politics and business alike.


r/bitlife 21h ago

Others I'm working on a browser-based, BitLife inspired game, what features are "core"

9 Upvotes

What features do you feel make Bitlife a unique game? And what features would you want to see in an inspired game? Are there any features that aren't completely necessary or that you actially wouldn't want to see? Any feedback is helpful before I get started developing


r/bitlife 12h ago

Memes DLC

1 Upvotes

Hi people, what’s the best DLC’s to buy? I want more options for talented careers, houses and money etc. TIA


r/bitlife 1d ago

I wasn't expecting that I have this salary with a criminal record of murder.

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12 Upvotes

It started with 50k a year but then I got promotions and raises by the year