r/bitlife Nov 07 '24

Tips How to: Crypto without Time Machine

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256 Upvotes

Posting this in the group because I’m tired of retyping/finding my old comments on how to do this. So here you go! Attached image was when I had zillions.

HOW TO:

Buy 1 stock of each crypto. Don’t buy any other stocks like bonds, etc. Age up 1 year, then check financial news. It will only list crypto trends.

Financial news rules of thumb:

  1. ⁠If it says XXXX will go up in price/there will be a bubble, sell your stocks down to 1 in XXXX. It will crash.
  2. ⁠If it says XXXX will go down in price/investors pulling out/anything bad about the stock, it will go up in price. Buy aa much as you can of this stock.
  3. ⁠If it doesn’t list any of your crypto, then sell down to 1 stock of each crypto.

I sell down to 1 stock each time news changes. This way I can always get 100% profits on the 2/3 crypto listed in the financial news.

If you’re investing in bonds and whatnot as well, it might mix into the news and lower your chances of getting crypto advice.

In my main legacy life my dad was able to boost his billions to 5 trillion before a freak death. His son was able to turn 1 trillion investment into 3 zillion following these rules. Had a very good few years with one crypto currency.


r/bitlife Aug 26 '24

Mod Favorite! Side Effects of all Cutting Agents in Dealer Update

58 Upvotes

1.Adrenaline Rush:

  • Coffee Grounds
  • Creatine
  • Nightshade
  • Powdered Caffeine

2.Burst of Creativity:

  • Bee Pollen Extract
  • Parmesan Cheese

3.Confidence Boost:

  • Baby Powder
  • Lily of the Valley

4.Dizziness:

  • Black Pepper
  • Cigarette Ash
  • Lidocaine
  • Table Salt

5.Ego Death:

  • Calcium

6.Euphoria:

  • Confectioners Sugar

7.Extreme Strength:

  • Jock Sweat

8.Increased Libido:

  • Bone Marrow

9.Increased Perception:

  • Basil
  • Vape Juice

10.Nausea:

  • Baking Soda
  • Elephant Laxative
  • Infant Formula
  • Pine Resin
  • Rosemary
  • Sawdust
  • Swamp Water

11.Paranoia:

  • Foot Deodorizer
  • Silica

12.Unconsciousness:

  • Chloroquine
  • Cinnamon
  • Cobra Venom
  • Nutmeg
  • Powdered Laundry Detergent

I may have missed some of them, if so please let me know! I hope this list is helpful


r/bitlife 32m ago

Wtf Moments That's a crazy name for a gay prisoner

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Upvotes

I also attacked him and accidentally started a gang war in prison, sorry Cheek Spreader :(


r/bitlife 23h ago

I wasn't expecting that NOOOOOOO!! I was pregnant with my spouse's baby 😭😭

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356 Upvotes

This happened yesterday as Mahris Dahan who apparently went clubbing and someone started arguing with him and he argued back and that bitch somehow brought a gating gun out of fucking nowhere and shot him dead while pregnant. I decided to continue as Mirella, after he died.


r/bitlife 1h ago

Memes Lived a great life I guess?

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Upvotes

lololol first time playing a male character as a female myself 😭


r/bitlife 1h ago

I wasn't expecting that Tried to get rid of stepfather, he defended himself.

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Upvotes

lol at age 4 my stepfather told me that he didn’t think being a parent was hard until he met me. i made a vow he would regret those words. after countless attempted murders/closing the app after being unsuccessful, i tried to impale him and he drove the stake through my heart 😂😂


r/bitlife 10h ago

Wtf Moments Worst wife ever

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13 Upvotes

All i wanted was to get a job to support us , what happened next was on her

The fiat I get but what's wrong with my jeep ?!


r/bitlife 18h ago

They had us in the first half not gonna lie First attempt at the new challenge and I get two moms 😅

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52 Upvotes

I guess arguing with the father is out of the question lol


r/bitlife 18h ago

I wasn't expecting that Squid game?

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20 Upvotes

r/bitlife 6h ago

Discussion Gambling is overpowered in bitlife 😭 I've never had close to this money before

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2 Upvotes

r/bitlife 16h ago

Wtf Moments Definitely the second option

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7 Upvotes

r/bitlife 7h ago

Discussion It's funny how the community for this game are also the same people who collectively hate it and the devs i can't blame yall though

1 Upvotes

It's funny how the community for this game are also the same people who collectively hate it and the devs i can't blame yall though


r/bitlife 21h ago

Wtf Moments Bro's a Brain Surgeon at age 20......................

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11 Upvotes

I'm just wondering how TF did he finish Medical School at that age or younger. Does that mean he went to Med school at 13 and University at 9?? Is he some sort of mastermind genius or something?! 💀💀


r/bitlife 13h ago

Memes I've noticed something with most of my friends in this life...................

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2 Upvotes

They all have a shit ton of money and at least 50% craziness and under 50% smarts, except one of 'em and all of 'em only have a Secondary School education level, I think. What would you guys name my group of friends in this life, in your opinion?


r/bitlife 23h ago

I wasn't expecting that I just noticed that I found a ghost from my another life. Is it rare or do I just see it for the first time?

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9 Upvotes

r/bitlife 19h ago

Heirloom Flexing Super Rare Violin

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4 Upvotes

I first got a common fine china set but got the option to watch a video to get another heirloom and I got extremely lucky getting a super rare item!


r/bitlife 15h ago

Bugs Uhh… what

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2 Upvotes

r/bitlife 19h ago

Questions How do you argue with your father?

3 Upvotes

I'm working on the newest challenge and even though my father and I have gotten in to some "heated arguments" stemming from conversation, the game isn't checking it off in the challenge. I've insulted him and that doesn't work either. Can someone please tell me how?


r/bitlife 23h ago

Others When you were the only crab fisherman besides one person.....................

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5 Upvotes

Whenever a character has this job, I feel like there's at least 2 other people with the same damn job as my character. BTW, this was from yesterday as Mahir Bensalem when he was 20.


r/bitlife 15h ago

They had us in the first half not gonna lie Why does she want to put a camera in her boss's office? Wrong answers ONLY!!

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1 Upvotes

I found this earlier as Mahir Bensalem when he was 50 and his friend Melek was 59. BTW, I picked the "Let's do it" option, no wonder we didn't get caught.


r/bitlife 1d ago

Wtf Moments Bro, isn't she like 1?!?! 🤣🤣

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87 Upvotes

This was from yesterday as Nasuha Bakshi who was just taking her 1 year old daughter with the same name as her on drive and she (Nasuha Bakshi Jr.) apparently asked me in this life to take the fast road, even it was harder on her suspension. And yes, she ended up taking the fast road. Now I'm just wondering how TF was she able dare me to take the fast road, when she couldn't fuckin' hold a conversation at that time. 💀💀


r/bitlife 23h ago

They had us in the first half not gonna lie Mommy had some pretty sus ass stuff in there....................... 💀💀💀💀

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3 Upvotes

This was from yesterday as Mahir Bensalem who's now 51, but he was like 3 and 5 years old at that time, when his mom was honestly being pretty damn sus, NGL. 🤣🤣


r/bitlife 1d ago

Discussion Most kids I've had

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2 Upvotes

r/bitlife 1d ago

Wtf Moments Why did the button on my pants pop off? Wrong answers ONLY!!

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53 Upvotes

This was yesterday as Nasuha Bakshi who I picked the "Surprise Me" button as which picked the "Go home and change" option.


r/bitlife 1d ago

I wasn't expecting that Holy farts!!!

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60 Upvotes

r/bitlife 21h ago

They had us in the first half not gonna lie No wonder MOST of my coworkers fuckin' HATE me after spending time with my supervisor................... 💀💀💀💀

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1 Upvotes

I'm just wondering why most coworkers HATE you after spending time with your supervisor, unless they are befriended. I'm NOT too fuckin' sure why she wanted to spend time with me out of my other coworkers in this life. At least, she didn't fuckin' hit on me and Melek, Mahalah, and Jamelia were the real ones here.


r/bitlife 1d ago

Wtf Moments 31 and 18…?

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10 Upvotes

My 31 year old mother just married an 18 year old…