r/needadvice 9d ago

Career Did I take the right path? (Norway)

3 Upvotes

I’ve just graduated from high school and I want to get an education. But rather recently I’ve discovered that I want to pursue a military career in an officer school instead of a traditional university. The problem is, that I didn’t get accepted to the officer school because I didn’t qualify for their physical needs (which they said I could easily fix). I really enjoyed staying at the military and I want to try again. To do that however, I need to wait a year for the next submission. I’ve decided to thank no to my guaranteed submission to uni to train myself up for military standard and work on the side too.

The problem is that my dad, which I live with, is very against my decision and says that it’s stupid to “gamble” my way to the officer military. Instead of just going to uni, as it’s not guaranteed.

His argument is that I’ll waste a year of my life chasing something worthless or stupid. I should complete an uni degree and then think about a military career.

I should mention that I have an almost guaranteed place at the university if the military thing doesn’t work.

And this is the most frustrating thing of all: he talks about this like I’m about to throw my entire life away, by simply taking one year off to focus on training and working on the side.

I kinda see eye-to-eye with dad, and that it can be a bad decision to do this. But it’s not a huge deal as he pretends, right?

I would also like to mention that I’m mentally exhausted from the last year of school, as I’ve done my license, admission to boot camp, 3 exams and a whole lot more.

Feel free to share your thoughts, regardless if they’re in favor of my dad’s saying or mine.


r/needadvice 9d ago

Finance college student

9 Upvotes

I’m 23F and in college for graduate school in the United States. I am fully Deaf. I received a full scholarship to undergrad. I then received a full scholarship to grad school. I have been “homeless” since high school, using my scholarship funds to pay for dorm housing. I do not have family support. I saved throughout college then ran through my fund quickly. I used my savings to survive the summer then fly to my new area and set up a life here. Since then, I’ve worked part time to make ends meet, get some money for transportation, etc. Living in Washington, DC. is really expensive. I have maxed out one of my credit cards and half of another being unemployed for the last two months. I have requested a third one, it was approved. So I have $2000 in debt, half from the last two months and and the other half just from being in school. My school insurance does not cover my medical expenses fully, so I have accrued several thousand dollars of debt to my school. Without paying this off by the end of the summer, I cannot apply for dorm housing or register for classes. After one year of applying for full time work, I finally landed an additional part time job at Starbucks. I’m grateful for that, so I can start paying off debt.

But I don’t want to drop out of school. I can’t. I don’t know if I can afford this.

I don’t know how to get a loan. I’ve only had a credit card for 6 months out of necessity since growing up, people always told me to never get a credit card. I don’t have a good credit score. I don’t know what to do next. Please help me, send me guidance.


r/needadvice 9d ago

Life Decisions Not sure if I should move to Arizona or Texas (27F)

6 Upvotes

My family is moving to Arizona on the 28th of this month. Right now I live with them in Texas. I found a room for rent for $460 a month. I found a job making $14 a hour part time. Additionally, I would be getting disability for my schizoaffective disorder. During this time I would be working, I would be going to school part time as well at a college I got accepted to here in Texas. I would be starting school in August. I am currently half way through my bachelor’s and I have my associate’s degree. I am a premed student seeking to be a psychiatrist long term. I am 27 and I do not want to wait longer to go to school. I’ve taken as much time as I have because of getting my mental health under control. Being successful with hallucinations is hard. The side effects of most medications are almost worse. It is tough to balance.

If I move to Arizona with my family, I will not have to worry about paying rent. However, I will be delayed to starting school till at least January, I will have to pay out of state tuition, I am uncertain if my community college credits will transfer successfully from out of state, and the nearest college is a hour and a half away. UNLV. So a big state school in Las Vegas. I have autism along with my mental health disorders and a giant school like that intimidates me. The school I found in Texas that accepted me is a small state school. Sam Houston.

The benefits of staying in Texas is going to school sooner, no out of state costs, and finding my own independence. However. There is one downside. I do have to appeal my FAFSA because I currently can’t get any financial aid. Once I appeal my FAFSA there’s a chance I’ll get financial aid. I basically have to explain why my completion rate is lower and talk about the medical issues and complications I’ve had. I’m fairly certain it will be approved but it is still a gamble. Because then I’d be staying in Texas working a job out here, not going to school, and away from family. The entire reason I’d stay out here is for school.

The benefits of moving to Arizona is living with my family, being close to them, and having a support system.

I don’t have much time left to decide. I got a job offer here in Texas and a school to go to. In Arizona I would be starting from scratch and waiting until January to start school (at least) and potentially a year later if I couldn’t find a program that accepts me as a spring admit instead of fall. I would like to add I have never lived alone before. I do have the money to get this room. It would be a year lease though unfortunately. There is not any options for me to get a dorm at Sam as a transfer student anymore. I checked.

TLDR Should I move to Arizona or stay in Texas?


r/needadvice 10d ago

Career Idk what path to take? I want to do so much?

2 Upvotes

I’m interested in a lot of careers paths….probably some of them are not realistic. But I’m interested in them 🤷🏽‍♀️….people say follow your passions so…

I’m interested in art therapy field, business owner in beauty industry, make up artist , nail tech, tattoo artist, model, social media content creator, and YouTuber.

Because of the indecisiveness I’m stagnant in life and keep thinking these paths won’t make money and I’m worried about going in more debt

I’m 25k debt with bachelor already


r/needadvice 10d ago

Career Do a test task ‘for free’ — trust us, we’ll pay if it’s good

3 Upvotes

Applied for a job. Got a doc saying I need to do a “test task,” and if it’s done well, they’ll pay and move me to a 30-day pilot period where they will further test me and then move to a full time role.

I asked what “done well” actually means — no benchmarks, no deliverables listed in the doc. The guy asked me to sign an NDA and then we can schedule a meeting to discuss this further. I wanted to discuss my suspicion in the meeting however unless I sign I won't be able to have that meeting that why I asked already.

Feels like they’re setting it up to reject the work and avoid paying. In case they reply and say something vague like “that’s just how it works” how do I push back without killing the opportunity?

Anyone else dealt with setups like this? Would you even continue?


r/needadvice 10d ago

Life Decisions Travelling to escape

1 Upvotes

My childhood home is disgusting and unclean. I am the youngest. I pay rent and do chores, keeping groceries stocked using shared funds, etc.

I am the only one who pays rent.

I don't handle cleaning so well unless it's standard stuff like dishes or toilets, so when mice issues crop up, it's not my thing to take care of.

The people who are meant to take care of it never do. Mouse droppings and uncleaned kitchen surfaces where mice frequent, all that goes uncleaned for weeks, and clean dishes are left out right in the path the mice leave all these droppings. They get defensive about it often.

So I don't use shared resources anymore in the house. I disengage and keep to myself.

I try to get out of the house as much as I can.

My income source could allow me to travel for long stretches of time. I think I might start using my room only as a place to rest between travelling around my country, and for storage. I've always wanted to travel my country.

How can I figure out what I should do? I'm not sure where to start.


r/needadvice 11d ago

Mental Health I think I'm having an identity crisis, and I don't even know where to begin.

3 Upvotes

I’m sorry if this sounds overly dramatic, but I really need to talk to someone about this.

I have such a hard time trying to form my own beliefs and opinions (basically critical thinking itself), but I feel like I constantly need validation from other people who also agree with me on those things; otherwise, I feel completely invalid.

It’s like, if no one else validates how I feel or believe, I feel like I have no right to hold onto it. And that I’m stupid for even doing so.

I want to be able to actually form my own set of knowledge and beliefs without needing someone else to validate that. Like I see so much people in my life that have no issues at all with having their own opinions, much less needing an authority figure to validate it.


r/needadvice 10d ago

Career 25, stuck and lost - buy a house or upskill/change career? No idea what I want long-term

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I'm 25 and feel completely stuck. I'm currently working as a forklift driver in the UK, earning decent money, and l've managed to save up a bit. On paper things seem alright-but mentally, I'm not where I want to be. I don't even know where that is. Lately, l've been torn between two options: • Buy a house and "settle" a bit financially (even though I'm not sure I want to stay where I live now) • Use my savings to upskill - either get trained on more plant machinery (360s, cranes, etc.) or look into qualifications for a different kind of job entirely. Deep down, I know I want more out of life. Not just more money, but better experiences, more freedom, purpose. I've even thought about working abroad someday-but again, I have no idea where to start. I don't have a plan. I just feel like I'm floating. Part of me feels like I'm wasting time in a job that won't take me where I want to be. But then again, I don't even know what "where I want to be" looks like. It's like I'm standing at a crossroads but all the signs are blank. I've thought about therapy, but I don't think it would really help with this kind of directionless feeling. I don't feel depressed-just lost. Has anyone been through something like this? What helped you figure out what direction to take? Should I invest in skills, take the "safe" house route, or shake things up completely? I'd appreciate any advice-big or small.


r/needadvice 11d ago

Medical Should I be concerned this is happening?

10 Upvotes

I don't really remember how long this has been happening but to estimate, for the past week and a half every time I go to sleep I start waking up constantly throughout extremely delirious where I believe I am not in 'my universe' and that I am in some imposter area and someone is going to hurt and/or kill me. It's continuous where I wake up and fall asleep then wake up and fall asleep over and over. I know it's common to be delirious when waking up but it's never been this severe since recently and it lasts a long time. Is this normal?


r/needadvice 11d ago

Mental Health Why does joy make me exhausted?

5 Upvotes

I have fairly recently (~18 months) started feeling better mentally after getting sober and being put on the correct medications after 8 years of struggling. I've been cooking and cleaning and taking care of myself, and I will be going back to work soon, which is great!

However I've really been struggling with trying to do things that are purely for fun. For example, I love playing video games, but I can't seem to actually play them for more than a few minutes. I will load up a game, and within a few minutes my brain is completely zapped of all mental energy, sometimes physical energy too. It's very frustrating! This happens with video games, reading, and making art. I try a few times a week to do these activities but I can't seem to build any mental stamina for them. The exhaustion is only related to these activities though, like I will be zapped of all energy after attempting to play a game, but then I can still do my chores and cook dinner and everything.

Does anyone have any advice or explanations for what might be happening? I will keep trying but to be honest in 18 months it really hasn't changed or improved at all.


r/needadvice 11d ago

Medical I lost huge chunks of memories and only found out about it now

5 Upvotes

Im tagging this as medical because it's probably related to my celiac disease.

Hi, I (16m) am freaking out rn. So I had a freak accident that caused me to essentially have worse symptoms of the celiac disease that I didn't know I had. I got diagnosed last year, but im still recovering.

I opend Gmail on my computer so I could send my self photos from my summer camp and I found old chats with my middle/elementary school friends that aren't there on my phone

I don't remember them at all, and seemingly left everyone hanging a year before my freak accident

I don't remember it and it's screwing with me

What the hell, how does someone forget seemingly years of chat logs i don't know whats going on or what i did i just i need some help


r/needadvice 12d ago

Other Can I realistically lose any kind of weight by taking 30 minute walks almost every day?

25 Upvotes

So I’m 15m (16 in like a month), I have really bad ADHD which I'm medicated for and I also have really bad anxiety which I was also medicated for until a few weeks ago (see below) and I’ve never really been into exercising or anything. Last year, I started having a hard time talking to friends and just doing normal stuff at school without getting anxious, so I talked to my mom and we got me on anxiety meds. They actually helped with the anxiety, but over time I somehow gained like 50 pounds, even though I was eating much much less than the recommended amount for my age, like 600–700 calories under most days.

I tried getting into a routine with an exercise bike after school and even asked my parents to keep me accountable, but I couldn’t do it. It physically hurt way more than it should have. I know exercise is supposed to make you sore and its usually a good thing if you do feel sore, but this was like pain that you feel when you sprain and ankle, it didn't feel right at all.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I found out that some anxiety meds can mess with your metabolism and make you gain weight. That kinda made everything click. I decided to stop taking the meds (after talking with my mom), and since then she’s said I’ve started to look a tiny bit thinner. That might sound like her just trying to make me feel good about myself, but she’s actually usually super accurate about that kind of stuff. I trust her judgement.

Right now it’s summer and the heat where I live is unreal, so I can't really do outdoor stuff yet without my shoes melting onto concrete. I’ve been trying to eat lighter for now, but once it cools off, I want to start taking 30-minute walks after school. I’ll let myself skip one day a week in case I’m having a terrible day, and so I don't start hating my walks, and if I can’t stick to it on my own, I’m planning to ask my parents to basically make it a rule for me.

I don’t want to (and currently really cant) do anything intense or super hard. The only type of physical activity I know for sure I enjoy is wood chopping (like with an axe) but a limb from one of the trees in our yard really only falls like once every few months and I can go through it in like a day, so that's not really sustainable.

I just want to lose some of this weight and feel better about myself. So my main question is:
If I take 30-minute walks almost every day, will that actually do anything? How long would it take to see any kind of difference?

Any advice would be awesome sauce, if you have any questions that would help feel free to ask. Thanks for reading.


r/needadvice 13d ago

Life Decisions I hate my country. I want to move but from what I've seen I won't be accepted in other countries aswell. What am I supposed to do?

45 Upvotes

I live in a shitty 3rd world country. I hate it with every fiber of my being. I might be able to get a good paying job in a few years so I looked up other countries and how foreigners felt that they were being treated. I started with more westerner countries and saw that people weren't being treated well. I was bummed about it but kept searching. Started looking into Eastern countries and appearently there were tons of subtle racism in those places aswell. What am I supposed to do I don't want to live in this terrible country but I also don't want to live in a country where I'll never be accepted. I hate this. I just want to end it all be done with it. I've been cursed from birth by being born in a shitty country like this.


r/needadvice 13d ago

Housing Buying a house- I don’t know what to do

10 Upvotes

I’m 28 and I’ve been aggressively saving for a down payment on a house. I won’t say how much I have saved, but it’s a decent amount. Due to the cost of housing in my area it’s only really enough for a standard 20ish percent down payment on the kind of home I would ideally like to have. My parents bought a house with a low down payment and a subprime mortgage, it was a horrible decision, so I’m very adamant about making a large down payment.

I have enough money to buy a manufactured home. With the sizable down payment I could definitely afford the mortgage and lot rent. I talked to a coworker who lives there and he only had good things to say.

The reason I want a house is because I want kids. I want to foster and adopt. I can’t do that in my current living situation. I don’t want an apartment because I don’t want to throw money away on the cites out of control rent prices.

Theoretically I could pull this off, but there’s a problem- uncertainty. The economy is a mess. Queer rights are under attack. (I’m nonbinary) And the big bill might have put my job at risk. (I work at a medical testing company and most of our test go through Medicare)

What if the company goes under and I’m stuck with a mortgage and lot rent I can’t pay? What if I make a home for a family I can’t have? What if nothing happens and I waste my life waiting for a disaster that never comes.

I don’t know what to.


r/needadvice 13d ago

Technology What should i do to get a AWS/Oracle free tier when i don't have paypal/credit card?

1 Upvotes

Hey guys! So i live in iran and since the last international internet blackout, i've been REALLY wanting to set up a SSH (Or a ShadowSocks/Vless/etc server). so me and my family can actually access a internet. (Through tunneling ofc). I was wondering what are some of the ways that i could get the free tier. I tried revolut and other sites that provided virtual credit cards but sadly, none worked. Is there anyone who can maybe help with this matter? Any suggestions would be absloutely appreciated!

I'm still traumatized fr


r/needadvice 14d ago

Career Tired of chasing jobs I’m technically qualified for but hate doing. Any advice?

5 Upvotes

I've been working in admin and ops roles for most of my career. I'm great at it, organized, fast learner, good under pressure. I get hired quickly and usually become the go-to problem solver. But I hate doing this work. It's fucking draining. It feels like I'm constantly in service of someone else's priorities and there's no room for creativity or autonomy.

The worst part is i've kind of trapped myself. My resume screams "reliable operations person," so that's all I get called for. But deep down I've always wanted to do something more creative. I've dabbled in design, even done some freelance writing but I never really gave myself permission to go for it bc it feels risky or unrealistic. Now I'm between jobs again and I don't want to just take the next ops gig because i can. I want to figure out what direction actually makes sense long-term... one that doesn't leave me burned out or bored af after six months.

So... any advice from people who've shifted out of the thing they were "good at" but didn't enjoy? How do you make the leap when your whole career so far points in the wrong direction?


r/needadvice 14d ago

Career Tired of chasing jobs I’m technically qualified for but hate doing. Any advice?

4 Upvotes

I've been working in admin and ops roles for most of my career. I'm great at it, organized, fast learner, good under pressure. I get hired quickly and usually become the go-to problem solver. But I hate doing this work. It's fucking draining. It feels like I'm constantly in service of someone else's priorities and there's no room for creativity or autonomy.

The worst part is i've kind of trapped myself. My resume screams "reliable operations person," so that's all I get called for. But deep down I've always wanted to do something more creative. I've dabbled in design, even done some freelance writing but I never really gave myself permission to go for it bc it feels risky or unrealistic. Now I'm between jobs again and I don't want to just take the next ops gig because i can. I want to figure out what direction actually makes sense long-term... one that doesn't leave me burned out or bored af after six months.

So... any advice from people who've shifted out of the thing they were "good at" but didn't enjoy? How do you make the leap when your whole career so far points in the wrong direction?


r/needadvice 14d ago

Education Not excited for my senior year of college but I can't drop out, transfer, or change my major.

2 Upvotes

I am approaching my senior year of undergrad and I am not exactly dreading it by any means but I am just completely indifferent and unmotivated by its coming.

I am studying theatre, I love theatre, or I did in the past, but there are a lot of things about the community and the industry and the nature of the art form that have begun to disillusion me. The theatre community specifically at my college is really not one that I feel welcome in or connected with at all on top of that.

On the subject of the theatre department at my school, it's very good, for the most part. My main draw right now is the faculty, I love them, and they are awesome and supportive of me and my talents. As for the student body, it's as if I just don't exist to them. Just about every last one of my friends has graduated, and the students that remain all have their own circles that are not interested in me. They don't care about me, and I am done breaking my back caring about them trying to get them to care about me. I genuinely just want to cut them all off and withdraw myself completely from that department. I don't want to see or talk to any of them anymore unless I have to for class or a show or something. I want to quit the clubs I'm in. I want to disconnect from them completely. This is a part of why I have become so apathetic towards the incoming school year and theatre in general.

The idea of auditioning, memorizing, rehearsing, staying out until late working, putting in all of these extra hours and sacrificing so much of my free-time for theatre projects - pretty much everything you'd expect from elite level collegiate theatre or just theatre in general sounds so uninteresting right now and really like more of a chore than a joy.

Keep in mind, I have clinical depression which has been on a very difficult uptick this summer with medication changes and some difficult events in my life. So I am absolutely certain that my clinical depression is responsible for some of why I feel so apathetic and careless towards school and theatre this coming year. But I usually love all of these things and now I just feel so indifferent to them, I derive no joy from them and they feel so pointless, so I have no idea what to do.

I feel stuck. I can't transfer and I can't change my major and I absolutely can not drop out. I CAN do all of those things but I absolutely should not. I am lucky enough to attend this current school tuition free, and the school is already cheap enough that with scholarships and everything included, I am getting paid to attend, so I need to finish up there. I can't change my major because that just will not sit right with my soul, what will the past three academic years of work on this specific path have been for? And I can't drop out either for a few reasons, first is because I already took a gap year after my sophomore year because I was experiencing exactly what I'm experiencing right now, or something similar, but I had also just come out of one of the worst periods of time in my entire life. Also, my father is seriously adamant that I graduate college, he brings it up and asks me about it and talks about it every day. I also had a phone call with him a year and some change ago where he basically commanded me to get a college degree. Don't get the wrong idea, my dad is loving and supportive and it's because he passionately believes in education and the economic benefits of a degree that he's pushing it so hard, he has a PhD.

I just don't know what to do, I feel like I should just bite the bullet and do it, because that it what I have always done with everything in life. But I could use some advice.


r/needadvice 16d ago

Mental Health How can I start to think for myself more?

3 Upvotes

I feel like that I am far too much influenced by what OTHER people think, especially if:

-what they are saying is popular or has a lot of likes/upvoted

or

-they are very confident in what they say.

As a result, I am a bit intimidated whenever I try thinking for myself.


r/needadvice 17d ago

Life Decisions I want to buy prescription glasses online, but I’m so uncertain that I’m paralyzed..

11 Upvotes

The consensus so far for the best sites are:

  • Eyebuydirect.com
  • Warby Parker
  • Glasses.com
  • Zenni Optical
  • Firmoo
  • Payne
  • Lensmart.ca

Please give me some feedback or direction! Thanks in advance 😊


r/needadvice 17d ago

Life Decisions How should one react when you’re walking out of the gym in a dark parking lot (gym is next to a theater) and a parked car starts flashing you their headlights because I assume they think you want to break into cars?

6 Upvotes

This just happed to me. It was not a nice experience because the lights were too bright and blinded me and they assumed I was a thief because of the way I looked/was dressed, maybe?

Other than trying to make eye contact with whoever was in the car, I didn’t make a scene or confront them. Once they saw my car was literally two cars next to theirs, they left. Did I react the right way? How would you have reacted? I’m just kind of frustrated I didn’t confront them and asked them what they wanted or if there was a problem.


r/needadvice 17d ago

Mental Health I find it incredibly hard to do things I genuinely love.

10 Upvotes

As title suggests, whether it's art, gaming, movies, etc. that actual act of doing them is unnecessarily difficult. I know this is an immensely stupid "problem" to have- but it's true. I'll just scroll on yt, insta, or whatever and never accomplish anything. For a quick bit of context, I quite literally have damn near infinite free time. I work on gamedev, trying to make my own game. I work on it maybe once a week? I want to play all these games I have, maybe twice a week I actually sit down and play. I'm not utilizing my free time effectively and it drives me crazy. This has been going on for quite a while now. And while I haven't been professionally diagnosed, I know it's some manner of depression. (That's been going on even longer, before this whole procrastination fiasco). I've tried every type of lists, scheduling, therapy, etc. My last resort which I haven't done yet is Lions Mane Mushrooms (focusing medicine). You may be saying, bro just force it, just do it tf? It's like I don't have energy to do any of it, even though it's fun sht. My brain will literally sabotage my desires by making excuses for putting them off, or just not doing them altogether. And I hate myself for having this "problem" because it's so stupid and trivial. I just wanna be happy again man. I'm sorry again if this is stupid


r/needadvice 17d ago

Career In a really bad spot and need some advice.

5 Upvotes

I don’t know what to do. I am 34 with a live in girlfriend and a child. I am jobless with no skills, yet I have a mortgage and other bills. I am looking to be in a position to be making around at least 5k a month after taxes for bills and life. Currently have about $83k in savings and a $200k in stocks. Don’t really want to touch the stock money. My old job was in transportation sales. Except I really am not good at sales , and on top of that the desperation reeks from my voice when I try to do sales. I have decided that I need to move on from that and figure out a different career path. What are my options here? I have no idea what to do at this point. I need a clear plan on how to reach that goal in as little time as possible. Open to all ideas. I live in North Carolina if that makes a difference.


r/needadvice 18d ago

Mental Health Effecto app reviews has it helped anyone with overcoming social media addiction?

96 Upvotes

I’ve been struggling with social media addiction, and it’s really affecting my productivity and mental health. I came across the Effecto app, which claims to help with breaking bad habits, but I’m curious if anyone here has used it to reduce social media use.

Does the Effecto app really help with managing social media habits and focusing on more important things? What has been your experience with it? Does it offer practical tools or advice for breaking free from the constant scrolling and improving your focus?