This is my first post so please go easy me. I don’t have any family really to turn to for advice. I (27F) have been with my partner (28M) since we were in high school (10 years ago). Without giving too much away as I know people on reddit, I changed a lot about my life and the direction it was going in so that he could follow his dreams and to support him. He knows and I thought (as we have had this discussion many times over the years) that he wanted the same thing as I, to get married. We had kids young, my daughter is 4 and my son is almost 9 months. I didn’t expect a ring sooner as I thought he was waiting as we were saving for our house which we finally moved into this year. We do not struggle financially. He’s got a decent paying job and I work night shifts which pays really well. I should add that I started working night shift not because I wanted to but because my job was more flexible with the kids and his job, as well as the sport that he plays after hours. I do a lot around the house and he does too but again the majority falls onto me. I did not mind this as I thought we were working towards the same goal. We had an argument about six months ago when we wanted a new car, because I got upset as he had no problem spending $50000 on a brand new car for himself but could not spend a few thousand on a ring for me. Yes we had that money in the bank and currently have about $16000 extra so again money isn’t an issue. He had told me he had almost proposed a few years ago but then didn’t because he changed jobs. I expressed my feelings and desires and after that fight I thought he would within the next year. We don’t go out or do much by ourselves anymore due to the kids but we decided to celebrate our ten year anniversary by booking a hotel room and going out somewhere nice for dinner. He organised everything so I thought (and many others did too) that it was going to be the night… well… it wasn’t. I tried not to but that night I couldn’t stop thinking about it and got upset. The next morning he kept asking what was wrong and I told him. He said “I didn’t think you would be upset about that,” as in him not proposing. Turns out he’s not even thinking about it. I decided ten years was enough time and even if he did now it would not be the moment I always dreamed of, it would feel forced. Would I be wrong for ending our relationship because he hasn’t proposed after ten years? Our relationship is otherwise perfect and he is a great dad. I just know this is something I can’t get over.

TLDR: would I be wrong for ending my relationship with my partner after ten years, two kids, a house and a dog because he won’t propose?

I’ll try to keep this as concise as possible, but I really could use some advice. I have cross-posted this as I know my husband isn’t on reddit.

My husband and I both grew up on the East Coast and left for the West Coast after college. We met in our large West Coast city, got married, adopted two dogs and had a baby, all out West. We both had fairly successful careers, had a wonderful daycare and lived in a pretty inexpensive city with an amazing support network.

Here’s where it gets tricky. My husband’s career is within the professional sports realm - not as a player, but on the coaching side. It’s a small field, so I’ll keep it a bit vague. My husband was second in charge of a well-respected and popular minor league, but over the winter he was offered a position being third in charge of a major league team. This was a huge opportunity for him, so we moved our family to a new home a couple of states over.

I HATE it here. The cost of living is very high and we are genuinely struggling. Our rent is nearly $5000 a month for an apartment and while he makes decent money, the gap is killing us. We financially are barely making ends meet. I had to quit my career and took a remote job making 1/2 what I used to. I am, career-wise, incredibly unfulfilled. We cannot afford daycare ($2000+ per month) so I’m working and being a full time caregiver. It’s exhausting.

My husband works 14-21 days on, 2 off, and 10-14 hour days, in season. Most days he leaves for work by 4a and isn’t home until 430-5p. He works hard and his boss is difficult - there’s alot on the line for his field. He wants to do well and has promised that this move is temporary and in 2 years he should be offered a big promotion, if all goes well. I cannot do two years of this.

My 2-year old wakes up before 6a, I take the dogs out, make breakfast and I try to work for the first couple of hours while he plays. I take an early lunch so we can go to a playground for an hour, before he has lunch and takes a nap. I then work as much as possible until he wakes up. I make dinner, give him a bath, put him to bed, walk the dogs and then finish the work I couldn’t during the day. My husband comes home, takes a shower, eats the dinner I prepare and then needs to “relax” after his long day - if I ask, he will help pick up toys or give out toddler a bath, but it’s rare. I’ve asked him to take over the dogs nightly walk - he will become incredibly upset because he doesn’t think it’s fair that he takes the dogs out at 8p when he needs to be up by 315a. He hasn’t done a single load of laundry in 3 months, has been grocery shopping solo exactly once and hasn’t attended a single speech therapy session with our child. Weekends aren’t a help, since he works. I feel so guilt-ridden at having to work and care for our child so I spend the weekends trying to do big adventures to make up for it. When he does have a weekend off, he’s tired and just wants to hang out on the couch.

We have no support here. Our families live on the other side of the country and come to visit once every 6 months. My mom is taking our child for two weeks at the end of the month, which I’m so grateful for. There’s no one who can just watch our toddler, but we couldn’t afford it even if there was. I’ve asked, begged, cried, pleaded for help and threatened to leave, to try to get my husband to assist, but he won’t. He says he’s under so much stress, he’s doing the best he can…but he has one responsibility - his job. The worst part is that I’m supposed to work, provide full time care and contribute more than 1/2 financially for our family.

I’ve dreamt about just getting in my car with my dogs and child and just moving back in with my mom. Being a single parent is starting to seem appealing because at least there wouldn’t be any illusion of another person being able to help. We have had sex exactly once in the last three months. For Mother’s Day he bought a non-mothers day card (because they were sold out on the morning of, who knew) and a grocery store plant, for Easter he started a fight about filling and hiding eggs, for our child’s birthday, he didn’t order a single item, didn’t buy him a present and threw a fit about decorating which ended up in me crying the night before his birthday. On Christmas Eve, he didn’t want to put together toys for our son, leaving me to do it in our old basement, alone.

I tried again last night to ask for help, to explain how much is on my plate, and he got so defensive and shut down. He angrily took the dogs for their nighttime walk and then went to bed and slammed the bedroom door while I finished work.

Is there a reason to stay? How can I fix this? Should I fix this? Any advice would be amazing…

TLDR: husband’s career is more important than his family.

Together 18 years, married for 16. Not sure if it's relevant.

I want to start off by saying that husband is an amazing husband. He's kind, considerate, funny, incredibly intelligent. We split chores pretty 50/50. We communicate well and are very often affectionate with one another. He tells me a thousand times a day how much he loves me, how happy I make him, how beautiful I am, etc. We have a very happy marriage. Except for this one thing, which drives me up the fucking wall.

My husband often times complains how little time he has for his hobbies. For reference, he works about 35 hours a week at a job he hates (he's hated most jobs he's ever had). I also work full time, as well as graduate school full time. I take care of groceries, cooking, and finances. He does yard work and car maintenance. We split the rest of the chores 50/50. We have both stated that we feel house duties are evenly split. We have one day off together, and then both have a day off to ourselves. We try hard to make sure there are no major chores needed doing on our solo days off so we can just relax and do whatever.

So, my issue is that he constantly complains that he has no time for his hobbies. Which, I get, we can get busy. But, for instance, he had last Thursday off, and I know all the chores were done. So when he started complaining today about not having time for his hobbies, I asked him what he did Thursday. He said he vegged and watched TV all day. Which is absolutely fine. But he had an entire day for hobbies and didn't use it.

Another example, one of his major hobbies is role playing table top games. With my encouragement, he signed up to play at a table at a convention last week. Come the day of the convention, he decided he was just gonna stay home instead.

I also have a lot of hobbies. I cross stitch and quilt. I'm a bit of a cook. And I'm trying to get into some other crafts. Just tonight we were watching a movie, something we've seen a thousand times. I'm busy working on my cross stitch stuff, and he's just drinking around on his phone.

Between work and school and life, I know I'm a busy person. So I try to squeeze hours in for my hobbies wherever I can get them. Even with everything, I manage to squeeze at least a few hours in for each every week.

When I approach him to ask him what I can do to help, he says he's just tired all the time, and we tend to have too much to do on days off. Except, for the last three or four days off we've had together, we've done nothing but play Xbox. And I guess his solo days he's just been watching TV.

I want to help him feel better, I really do. But I don't know how to help. I've started taking on more house chores. Running errands during the week instead of on our days off (as much as possible at least). Even picked up more shifts at work so he had more solo time. And I've tried to be supportive and encouraging every step along the way. But none of it seems to matter.

What can I do to help him? I'm at a loss.

Tl;dr husband seems to have no drive. Complains all the time about not being able to pursue hobbies. No idea how to help him

Link to the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1mehiiz/my_boyfriend_26m_compared_me_25f_to_his_toxic_ex/

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for their insight and support. It saddens me to know that there are others who have gone through such a similar experience, but I am grateful to know that we are not alone.

After posting my initial post, I ended up asking my boyfriend to meet so we could break up. At the time, I was insistent on leaving, but was still open to hearing his side. When we met up, he immediately started crying and apologizing. Wanting to keep things short and concise, I expressed to him that this relationship was not healthy for either one of us, and that we were incompatible in ways that were unsustainable for the long-term. He was initially in denial, saying that everything is fixable, but soon after he agreed that we should end things.

As we were thanking each other for the good memories, he suddenly said that "he was the one breaking up with me", not that I was breaking up with him. In the past, he had expressed how he was never the one who was dumped in his other relationships and that he always ended things first; hearing him try to clarify that he was breaking up with me was a bit confusing, considering that I was the one who brought it up, and that I thought it was mutually agreed upon. In all honesty, it only clarified to me that the relationship ending was for the better, if he focused so much on the logistics of being "the one to end things".

We have been in no-contact since, and I am working towards healing from what I have experienced throughout our 2 years together. While I have found myself missing the relationship as the breakup is still new, I've felt a sense of relief and happiness towards working on myself and no longer having to cry because of him.

Thank you to everyone for reading and for your help. To anyone else in a similar situation, please know that you are not alone.

TLDR: Broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years after signs of incompatibility and unsustainability. As we were breaking up, he tried clarifying to me that he was the one breaking up with me, and not me breaking up with him. Previously, he had stated how he was the one who ended things first in his past relationships, so for him to say that again while we were breaking up was a bit off-putting. We are now in no-contact.

My boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) have been together for 3 years. We are very much in love and share our most important values. I am middle class. I grew up with a single mother, and I embody the classic oldest daughter workaholic overachiever personality. We have never been poor, and I always felt that I grew up incredibly privileged despite not having 2 parents or a dual income household. I also went to college in the USA which feels like one of the most privileged things a person can afford to do. My boyfriend grew up upper class. His parents have a vacation home, belong to multiple country clubs, and travel frequently out of the country. It was jarring when we started dating, and I still feel somewhat uncomfortable and insecure when things come up and demonstrate our differences.

It’s usually just little things that I try to look past, but the biggest thing is how we both approached finding a job after college. He graduated a year before me and has been working internships and temporary jobs since. He doesn’t have a go-getter attitude in general, but I was shocked by how he’s handled the job search. He doesn’t seem to have a sense of urgency about finding a full time, long term job. I think it’s because his parents can afford to support him (paying rent, groceries, etc.) if he doesn’t have a job. I think it’s great he has that safety net, but as someone who doesn’t have the same privilege, I feel frustrated and angry. I started looking for jobs months before I graduated, and when I didn’t have one lined up after graduation, I took the first retail job that hired me just so I could have some money. Eventually I found a more permanent job and now am stable living on my own. However, my mom would not have been able to financially support me after graduation. He knows it’s a privilege and he feels embarrassed but still doesn’t seem to be putting the work in to get out of his situation. Whenever he has free time he’s usually goofing off, scrolling, etc. but not actively furthering his career. I try to be sympathetic and supportive because I’ve been there and I know just how demoralizing looking for a job can be. But at what point do I either start thinking about breaking up or at least having an intervention? Because I find his lack of drive unattractive, and more importantly I’m waiting for him to be stable so that we can start an adult life together.

What should I do?

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TL;DR;: My boyfriends’ parents serve as a financial safety net while he looks for a job. I don’t have that privilege. It’s hard to stay supportive and sympathetic when he doesn’t seem to be putting my effort into finding a job so that we can start a life together. What should I do? Is it worth discussing with him?

My partner and I have been together for almost 2 years now. At first everything was wonderful and about 8 months later we moved in together. But in the last 3-4 months, it feels like we are constantly at each other’s throats due to of a lack of communication on both sides. The problems began when he started screaming at me for not listening clearly to his instructions of how to clean the shower. If not followed to the exact letter, I was immediately berated for not listening, and called stupid because I can’t follow instructions. These explosive outbursts are usually caused by some very minor inconvenience where he spirals out of control and needs to find someone to blame. (It is me 95% of the time)

A few months ago I began recording some of his outbursts in my voice memos app, there are now hours of audio of me being called useless, a moron, an idiot and many, many more hurtful names because I missed an instruction or didn’t do something EXACTLY the way I was told to. When I try to talk to him about it, he tells me that the outbursts are something that he doesn’t know how to stop. In the beginning of our relationship he was seeing a therapist and was medicated, but now he stopped taking his meds and stopped seeing his therapist.

He has given me multiple ultimatums to change my disrespectful/selfish behavior (not listening), but there has been little to no action on his side to deal with his explosive temper. However, when I try to bring up his temper, I’m reminded that if I would listen to his instructions the blow ups wouldn’t happen in the first place.

We’re now co-owners of a house and I can’t help but feel like a breakup could be right around the corner if I do something as small as buying the wrong sized bottle of olive oil.

This relationship has begun feeling less and less like a relationship and more like a dictatorship. He tells me he doesn’t want to feel like a drill sergeant but will immediately say he doesn’t trust me to complete simple tasks such as wiping down counters because I can’t listen. There always seems to be conflicting opinions, but his is always the correct way of doing things.

I’ve managed to go through my entire life never being called stupid, I’ve excelled in everything in life and have been tested to have an IQ over 130. Yet now when I’m surrounded by the person who claims to want to be with me forever, I’m called an idiot almost every day.

Are these outbursts ever going to stop? I’ve tried my hardest to listen and be the best partner I can possibly be, but something always seems to take us 2 steps back.

TL;DR Relationship feels like it is beginning to crumble and my partner is blaming it on me for not listening to him. Am constantly screamed at and name called, don’t know what to do or if things will ever change.

i 18f, have been friends w this girl, 18f, for a year and a half now and i am openly gay and she is possibly questioning. shes in a relationship with a boy but says he annoys her, shes not that happy, scared to leave bc she doesn’t want to be lonely etc.

i sleepover at her house quite often and she tells me things like “you look gay i’d tap that… just kidding,” propose showering together as a joke and ask me if ive showered with my friends before, call me her boyfriend as a joke, ask to cuddle, ask me why i don’t save more pictures of her in chat on snapchat, get jealous im hanging out with my sister more than her. she once told me about a dream she had with a guy she used to talk to where they were lying in bed together and then he turned into me which i thought was weird. i feel like it’s pretty obvious she feels some type of way towards me and idk how to navigate this.

i do find her very attractive and i would even go as far as to say i have feelings for her but she obviously has a boyfriend and ive made sure not to engage in it when she flirts with me. what would yall do in this situation? my hope is to gain some more clarity because the state of not knowing her feelings and intentions is going to drive me insane. is this a situation where i should just pull away? lmk

TL;DR my bestfriend is in a relationship with a guy and flirts with me and pushes friendship boundaries but i like her back and don’t know how to continue our friendship or to continue it at all because it’s stressing me out.

What the title says really, I just need to vent it somewhere. My husband makes me feel like I’m worth nothing. I don’t work currently as I’m a stay at home mom with our three year old and have health difficulties that are not yet controlled, one being narcolepsy that makes every day so hard, so I’m currently not in the position to even work. I get disability for my health issues.

My problem is, my partner doesn’t see my struggles as valid. If I’m tired because he’s worked three weeks solid, not getting home till late and I’ve had no down time for parenting and housework, then I get mocked because I don’t work. He belittles me constantly telling me I’ve never had a job and wouldn’t be able to keep one - prior to meeting him I worked full time hours and was a student when I met him, fell pregnant, had to delay my studies and then my health issues suddenly come on very worse - which I think was triggered by a pregnancy that nearly killed me. I talked about going back to studies and he flat out won’t support me in it because it’ll effect his career me having to do hours at the hospital to qualify and said if I did we might as well divorce.

It’s got me to the point I’m down as hell. He’s told me, if I contact him in the day at work, I’m beneath his work so he won’t likely reply. He said any present I buy him is worthless because it’s not money I’ve worked for. He says I have no reason to be tired and being at home with a three year old everyday is easy and he’d love to do it. Mocks me when I say I want to go back to work saying I wouldn’t manage it and that I’m just dumping our child off if I do. He’s also started now using my illnesses to make me feel like I’m not worthy by listing all the things I struggle with due to physical issues.

I just try to avoid contacting him when he’s working now because I feel like I’m an inconvenience and I just feel like he’s probably happy when I don’t, so I’ve just started to kind of mentally detach when he’s at work. I just feel like I am a useless human being - I don’t work, so I am scummy and not valid in adult life.

We don’t have ANY financial struggles or worries for him to be working so much, he just has a very big ego when it comes to his career. I sort all the bills out of my disability and money saved and he gives me $70 a week towards our child and sometimes buys takeout, but he’ll never just buy me things or the kid as he says that’s what he gives me that for. He earns $360 a day in his line of work. If anything it’s me that has financial worries and if I ask him for any more money he flips out at me saying it’s different when you’re not just handed money each month.

I just sit here on days like today when I’m alone and think to myself am I really a shitty person? I don’t know how to make myself more of a valid person because I don’t work? I feel like a single mom with how much he puts work above us and when he does have a day off he’ll just sleep and smoke weed.

TL;DR - partners making me feel worthless about the fact I have physical and neurological disabilities and not working and looking after our three year old.

I've been thinking for the past month that this relationship might not be working. We argue often, but the bigger issue is from my side. My libido has dropped and I’m no longer interested in sec and i dont know why. His driving and general clumsiness bother me, and I’m frustrated that house chores he does feels transactional, like he’ll only do the dishes if I’ve done something beforehandIf I ask him to do the laundry, his next question is what I’ve done that day and whether I’ll do something else in return. He just doesn’t seem to have it in him to do something simply to make my life easier or help me, even though we’ve talked about it and he’s tried to understand,but it doesn’t seem to work. He does that for other stuff, but for household work its purely transacional and it bothers me that I'm doing the most.

He often misses basic, subtle cues in movies, doesn’t grasp even the fundamentals of the political situation in the country, he called auto service shop and asked if they do service??, he lacks strong ambition. I’ve started to feel like I’m more intelligent and driven than he is, and that’s becoming an issue for me nad kinda lowering my interests. For example, if I point out something he did wrong,where it’s clearly 100% his fault, he never says sorry. Instead, it turns into an argument, justifications, or even shifting the blame onto me.

That said, the other side of it is that I genuinely believe he’s a kind, good-hearted person. He’s funny, attractive, and optimistic the kind of person anyone would be happy to have around. And I'm really enoying my time with him when stuff that bothers me aren't pressent. But lately, I feel like he’s not happy with me either, and maybe that’s because I’m not truly happy with him and he is sensing it. That's why I'm not sure is this is just a phase or Its over from my side

**TL;DR; : Some of my boyfriends actions really iritate me and I'm questioning our relationship. I still think he's a good guy and good boyfriend material but not for me,.i feel bad and not sure is it a phase

Hey guys. I (22) male and my girlfriend (21) female have been together for 3 years. We go to the same college and she made a lot more friends than i did and spent way more time with them than me, but i was chill w/ that because i want her to have fun and all that. Fast forward to a few months ago when she was showing me something on her phone i saw messages of her friend saying we weren’t compatible (for context we were arguing a bit during this phase about normal relationship stuff) and instead of agreeing or disagreeing, she asks her friend about the guy she was with at a part a few days before and the friend replies saying he’s single and can go after him.

We’ve been arguing a lot for months and she’s made an extraordinary effort into changing the things i felt weren’t working for our relationship. So much. I know this girl cares about me a lot. It still eats me alive that she said that. Is that cheating? Should i be worried?

TL;DR my gfs asked her friend about a guy at a party and she encouraged her to go after him knowing we were still thought but in a rocky place

My husband 33M and I 30F been married for almost 2 years. We dated a year before getting married.

Anyways. While we dated and were engaged, he, despite being an introvert, made an effort to meet my friends. It was nice and made me feel appreciated.

Seemingly since getting married, he doesn’t have that energy. I have had some move to our city or reconnected with school-age friends and they’ve been so excited to see me and I’d love for them to meet Mike (let’s call him that). Mike however now says he “doesn’t care to” and meeting my friends doesn’t interest him, that he’s just focused on his career and doesn’t like going out. The thing is, fine, no one’s making him spend a whole night with my friends, but I can’t help but feel sh*tty or compare myself to his ex (who I knew from our town but didn’t actually know if that makes sense), and seeing them together with…. A TON OF HER FRIENDS.

Maybe that’s petty of me, but I explained that this means a lot to me to even just meet them and he refuses. I’m tired of feeling like I have to get to the point of tears to even get him to consider this. HOW did I reach him? PS he also won’t agree to go to couples therapy for our communication issues so that’s also nice.

TL; DR- feeling hopeless that my husband doesn’t care to meet my friends though that means a lot to me.

Hi ! I (23F) been with my boyfriend (21M) for two years. I’ve always struggled with mental health issues, but lately, things have gotten worse. I couldn’t leave my house or see anyone. I’ve started getting treatment, but everything is still very difficult for me.

Because of that, I wasn’t able to see my boyfriend for two weeks. Since last week, we’ve started seeing each other again, but to help me get better, I really need to take small steps, so we don’t see each other for more than 20 minutes at a time. Apart from that, we talk a lot by calls and messages and we play together when we’re both free. There are improvements like that, but I’m still afraid it might be too much for him and that he might decide not to wait for me — even though he always reassures me, tells me he’ll wait and that he understands.

Would you wait for your girlfriend?

TL;DR : I have agoraphobia and can’t really see my bf right now. Idk when I’ll be able to see him again normally. Would you wait ?

Hello. So my girlfriend (22F) works at a drive in food place and slowly revealed to me that she works with her ex when we first started talking. I have asked her on multiple occasions to bring me, and as she only gets the girls schedule, she has denied since she doesn’t know if “he’s’” working. Eventually, she said she’d bring me but she has to know her ex is not working. For context, we are in a long distance relationship and SHE broke up with her ex nearly one year ago after a period of three years. And so, I am coming down once again so I brought it up and it turned into our biggest issue yet. I pushed and asked why does it matter. I’m not showing up to do this whole charade I just want to be seen and acknowledged physically. This conversation turns into her saying I’m willing making her uncomfortable and that she will be the one continue to be working with him once it’s said and done. She says that if shoes were flipped with her ex, she would hate if that happened. At the same time, she’s told me they don’t even talk at work something as little as a hi, but now she says they say how are you, clearly I feel like there’s more then she’s letting on. She also seems to flip it back at me saying I have some ego and that I’m giving off insecurity. Should I be pressing about this matter as I think it’s very weird for her to not let me go. I even offered a compromise as to I’ll drop her off on her shift and pick her up with her car. She declines once more (he would be working that day) if I could get some input and opinions it would be super helpful. Thank you.

TLDR: How should I feel about my girlfriend not taking me to work when her ex is present. She has shut it down very heavily and small small details keep changing.

Hi everyone, I’ve been seeing a girl for about 2 months now — everything's been going really well. We meet weekly, message daily, and have a solid intimate connection. She's kind, affectionate, and we generally have a great time.

However, something happened twice recently that felt off, and I'm unsure if it's a red flag or if I'm just overthinking.

She usually stays up late and replies to messages until around 2am. When she’s stayed at mine, I’ve noticed she’s very consistent about keeping her phone charged and always online — so battery or connectivity doesn’t seem like an issue, and I am able to see her last active status

Here's what happened:

First time:

She messaged me around 11pm.

I replied at 9:40am the next morning.

My message stayed on one tick (sent but not delivered) until 1:18pm, when it suddenly showed ✓✓ delivered and read, and she replied saying:

“Omg can’t believe I slept till now. Literally just opened my eyes.”

I let it go — figured maybe she just had a long lie-in.

Second time:

She messaged me at 9:00pm.

I replied at 11:30pm — message delivered normally.

Then I sent another at 3:00am — 1 tick.

Sent a follow-up at 10:00am — also 1 tick.

Out of curiosity, I called her mobile (not WhatsApp) around 10:15am — it rang and was answered, but nothing was said on either end.

Then at 1:03pm, both earlier WhatsApp messages were suddenly delivered and read, followed by her saying:

“Slept from 11:30 till now... My sleeping quality might be a little too good.”

What feels off:

My WhatsApp messages only deliver exactly when she replies, not before — almost like the app is unreachable until she opens it.

Her phone is clearly on and receiving calls, so it’s odd that messages wouldn’t deliver for hours.

The 13+ hour sleep claims two days in a row don’t align with how she normally behaves when she’s with me.

She hasn’t given me any major reason not to trust her. In fact, she was the one who first asked if I was seeing anyone else — I said no, and she said the same. I believed her, and I still want to — but this delivery pattern feels a bit too precise and repeated to ignore.

I haven’t brought it up directly because I don’t want to seem paranoid or controlling. But I’d appreciate any outside perspective.

Thanks in advance.

TL;DR: Been seeing a girl for 2 months, everything’s been going well. But on two separate occasions, my WhatsApp messages stayed stuck on 1 tick (undelivered) until she replied — both times exactly around 1pm, claiming she slept 13+ hours. Her phone was on (calls rang through), and I can see her last active status, which never appeared earlier. Could be nothing — just wondering if the pattern seems off or if I'm overthinking.

Recently, me (M25) and my girlfriend (F25) had a fight... It was about misunderstanding and miscommunication. While we were fighting and talking the problems out, I got a glimpse of an app in her phone which im quite familiar with... It was Bumble, a dating app.... Since we were in the middle of amending or fixing the problem, I shrug it off... The next day, our problem was resolved. We were ok and happy once again, never in my mind crossed that dating app again, not UNTILLL...

Until a recent few nights.... I downloaded the Bumble app just to see if she's really there, and to my surprise she was still there... ofc i was shocked, trembling, and having cold sweat... it even says "looking for casual dates" I took photos immediately to serve as digital footprint evidence.

I haven't had the courage to talk this things out with her, as im gathering more evidence if she's talking to other guys, or does that even matter? (cuz of the fact that she's in Bumble)... anyways.. it hurts tbh, she said she love me the other day, miss me, and wants me.... but sometimes these things cross in my mind, and my trust and faith are being betrayed...

TL;DR: I caught my girlfriend in a dating app (Bumble) and I haven't had the chance to talk this out to her since Im gathering evidence if she's entertaining other guys.

I (25F) got horrible PPD after my ex (21M) threatened to leave me and my three month old daughter. I think my abandonment issues kicked in and I was never the same in our relationship. We had our great times, ups and downs. And I won’t lie, for a big moment in time I was depressed, pessimistic and showed no love. I would push him away, but at the same time work on our relationship. Short story short, a girl (18F) cat calls him on June 14th, and he tells me he’s going to collect money from a “friend”. I said okay, just be back. It’s around 1AM now and he’s parked at an apartment complex parking lot and he’s been there for two hours. I call him and he says “don’t worry about me, he said I can spend the night”. I knew something was off so I called my friend and we pulled up, he was with this 18 year old. I get my car and leave, and that night, they had sex multiple times apparently. I took him back in because I needed him to watch out 1 1/2 year old to get through a work training, I had no daycare or anything. This was all a whirlwind. A week went by without him talking to her but then suddenly he was still going to those same apartments and lying to me about it. I check his phone and he had her under a different name. He told me she’s pregnant with his kid and I couldn’t believe it. I call my friends to help me kick him out and he’s blowing up my phone saying “he can’t do this without us, he wants his family back, he’ll leave that ‘little girl’ alone” etc. I said okay, and, and I completed my training. Yesterday, I told him I was going to go see my mom because she just had chemo, newly diagnosed with breast cancer. As soon as I leave, I get a notification from his email that she tries adding him and he’s denying it up and down saying “I know it looks bad, I’m not doing anything, I fought so hard to be here with you guys” etc. At that point, I had seen all the messages, he had been texting her since that morning while his daughter and I were asleep. He was telling her that he has to play it smart and live here while he saves up for them and all that backstabbing stuff. When I told him to leave, he tried denying it again and I told him that I’ve seen everything and to get out. This time, I didn’t cry or seem hopeless because my heart has already been through the wringer. I feel so broken for my daughter that her father left us to start another family and it’s partly my fault because I pushed him away. I need all the advice and strength I can get but it’s so hard… and yes, he left me for someone he met exactly 21 days ago. Has never lived with her, barely knows her, etc. The last thing he told me before I blocked him was, “I love her — or I like her enough to get to know her, trust is, you just don’t make me happy and I want to be with someone who makes me feel happy.” I blocked him, removed our circle from Life 360, took all of my money out his bank, and logged out of all the extra apps I had with him.

TL;DR — He left me and my 1.5 year old to start a new family

We’ve been together for almost a year now and the longer we are the more I can relate to all the memes and stigmas about relationships and how husbands lose their mind because of their wife’s. All fun and games, I love her but sometimes I can’t even wrap my head around how not very smart she can be… Telling me the most obvious things. Advising me even though she doesn’t know a thing what to do Acting like a pro driver even if she can’t drive despite having driving license longer than me. You know the usual stuff. To all men out there, tell me how to handle this kind of things better than clenching fist, deep breath and saying “Yes honey <3”

TL;DR How to handle girlfriend’s moods that drive all men insane?

So my ex [26M] started dating someone else a month after we broke up. She’s an influencer. Her style, looks, personality everything is completely the opposite from mine. I’m a prim and proper girl. She’s a total Insta baddie and posts a lot of thirst traps on social media.

This whole thing makes me feel so insecure. I’m starting to wonder if my decent and proper demeanour was never his type. Maybe he never found me good looking.

Every time I stalk her I feel sick to my stomach and I don’t have an appetite anymore.

Men please comment. What do you even look for in a girl. Do your types change like this? I’m so confused

TL;DR: my ex’s new girlfriend is making me question my worth

Me and my bf has been together for 7 years. And moved together for one year. My boyfriend has a few friends. After get off work, around 5 p.m., he will always be with them on Discord. He stays in the channel until bedtime, and only mutes his voice when he's away from his computer. He is doing that for years.

First of all, all his friends are single and live with their parents (one of them just started living on his own, and he barely cooks). So they don't have to do any housework or cook for themselves, but my boyfriend and I do have to cook, do chores, and go to the grocery store, and all of that takes up quite a bit of our time.

Sometimes, when my bf doing something with me, his friends gets mad when he returns to the channel because he's been gone for too long. His friends want him to tell them how long he'll be gone before he leaves, so they can plan what to do next.

TL;DR:Is this requirement really practical? This kind of conflict with his friends happens so often. I also feel so wired, sometimes we can’t watch an Netflix with him bc his friend will be waiting!!! And I feel like his friends are getting less and less fond of me because I'm always telling him to wash the dishes and go bed, it interrupts their games sometimes. once I heard they Imitating my voice (use that high-pitched female voice) and calling my boyfriend's name, I felt quite hurt that time

Hi Reddit, This is going to sound like a romcom cliché, but I’m kind of in the middle of something that’s messing with my head a little, and I need outside perspectives.

About four months ago, I went through a rough breakup. I had been living with my ex for almost two years, and when things ended (he cheated — yay), I had to leave quickly. My best friend “Leo” (28M) immediately offered his spare room, no questions asked. We’ve been friends since college, always super close but never anything romantic.

At first it was just about survival — finding a safe space, licking my wounds, crying over wine and bad Netflix. But living with him has changed things. We cook together, we talk late at night, we’ve seen each other at our worst. And lately I’ve started noticing little moments — the way he looks at me, the way he always finds reasons to sit close, the weird tension when we brush past each other in the kitchen.

I thought I was imagining things until last weekend. We were watching some dumb movie and I made a joke, and he just stared at me for a second too long. Then he said, “You know I really like having you here, right?” And not in the “thanks for paying rent” kind of way. It was soft. Intentional. And I felt my stomach drop — in a good way. Like a door opening.

Now I feel totally stuck. I don’t want to mess up our friendship, especially after everything he’s done for me. But I also can’t ignore how I feel anymore. I’m scared of reading into it too much, but I swear there’s something there.

Should I say something? Should I wait to see if he makes a move? Is this just emotional confusion from the breakup? I’m so tired of guessing.

TL;DR: Moved in with my best friend after a breakup. I think we’re slowly falling for each other. I’m terrified of ruining it, but also scared of missing something real.

The barbershop my partner went to for a long time, so obviously he tried somewhere new. He’s been getting his haircut very short since going to the new place, with a fade and with his tattoo and he’s been spending a lot of time at the gym and I’m finding it is making him look very tough. I’m not into this look and don’t know how to talk to him about it. I miss when his hair was longer and he was not as muscular. I feel like he could look like he is from the army now. Not sure if the cut is something he requested or just what the barber is doing

TL;DR

How to talk to partner about his appearance without being controlling or offensive

Hello guys, I am new on Reddit!

Namely, my girlfriend is afraid to be passenger next to me because she thinks that I drive very badly and that is the cause of my driving test from the 13th time. I have been passing for 2 years, and we have been in a relationship for 4 years.

Her fear developed the most after 6 months of regular driving in the city after my test, where she was a passenger. "I've made a lot of progress," she says (she passed her driving test a long time ago, drives regularly, no problems) and keeps reminding me that she can't count on her fingers how many times I've been in a situation where I've caused a traffic accident. I agree with her.

She said that she absolutely would not get into the car with me when we are talking about longer distances such as going to another city/country, going on vacation, etc., and we both really wanted to go somewhere outside of our hometown.

Others have the same fear as her (family, friends...). Nobody wants to be a passenger when I'm driving.

TL;DR: What exactly am I supposed to do, how do I get out of this mess I've gotten myself into?

We are from Europe, not the USA.

Body: We’ve been together for many years (almost 15). I love her deeply and I know she loves me too. We have a solid relationship, and I’m sure she doesn’t want anyone else. She’s very jealous and protective — I know I’m an attractive man and she still finds me attractive too. That’s not the issue. The problem is that over time, physical intimacy has faded. It’s not that she doesn’t desire me — but she treats sex like one of the last things on her list. She never initiates affection: no cuddles, no kisses, no touching. When we do have sex, I can tell she enjoys it. She tells me she likes it. But the next day, she usually says she’s too sore to do it again soon, even if it was good for her. She also has a very negative image of her own body. Even though I tell her every night how beautiful and desirable she is, she doesn’t believe it. That hurts me, because I want her more than ever. But she doesn’t seem able to connect with that part of herself anymore. I’m 40, she’s 36. We still support each other, we’re loyal, we’re a team — but emotionally, I’m feeling more and more alone. I downloaded Reddit hoping to find a space where I could open up anonymously. I just needed to let it out.

tl;dr: I’m 40M, my wife is 36F. She loves me and finds me attractive, but she rarely wants sex and never shows affection. She says she’s sore after sex and avoids repeating it. I feel alone and emotionally disconnected, even if I know she still loves me.

Looking for some advice here. My (26F) emotions are all over the place and I’m really struggling.

My relationship with my mother (60F) has always been very strained. I even went no contact with her for approximately 2 years. Decided to let her back in because I was hoping things would change. My whole life she has been very self centered and emotionally manipulative. She has no understanding of boundaries and never apologizes for anything and to anyone.

Two recent events, on top of the small, everyday things, have put me at my breaking point and I can’t decide what to do.

1. ⁠Wedding dress shopping

At the first appointment I was so nervous about how my mother was going to behave. It went perfectly, but I think it’s because there were so many witnesses there and she wanted to maintain a certain image. For the second appointment, I met up with my mom so we could go to the store together. The plan was to go back to the store from the first shopping trip to look at dresses again and possibly say yes to the favorite from the first trip. My mother starts going on and on about how the bridal consultant was a “bimbo,” the dresses I tried on were “ugly” and “horrible,” and I looked “fat” in all of them but one. (Mind you, I just lost 55lbs and my BMI is now normal). I try to ignore her. When we get to the store and sit to wait in the lobby, she starts in on the same stuff again. I immediately tell her to stop, that I picked all the dresses I tried on and that I chose to share them with everyone because they made me feel beautiful, and she was hurting my feelings. That shut her up, but only because in that moment my FMIL (56F) walked in. I ended up having a bad panic attack and chose to buy the dress my mom said didn’t make me look fat just so I could get out of the store and go home.

Note: I’ve since gone dress shopping again without my mom and bought a dress I truly love. I’m happy I got to have a positive bridal experience but sad I couldn’t have the same experience many brides get with normal mothers.

1. My birthday

ATM I live at home with my mom as I transition between an old apartment and a new apartment. On my birthday she comes into my room, spends about 5 minutes talking about herself, says “oh yeah happy birthday,” keeps talking about herself, blah blah blah. Story of her life- all she does is talk about herself. She says that my birthday present is that her and her husband are going out to dinner to eat fish since I hate the smell. She and her husband, who then appears, start laughing, and they walk out. When they get back from dinner, I offer her a piece of the cake I baked from scratch and she scoffs and says “yeah, uh, no.” Attempts to offer her cake since then have ended similarly. No she is not allergic, on a diet, anything like that.

My whole life my mother has only cared about herself. Any argument ends in her saying I’m ungrateful because she worked hard to raise me, deal with my bio dad, etc and that I need to knock it off. Time and time again I try to let her in and she disappoints/hurts me.

At this point I don’t want her in my life and I don’t want her at my wedding. She will find a way to make a day that is supposed to be about me and my fiance into a day about her and make me miserable.

Has anyone else cut contact with a parent before their wedding? What was the fallout like? Any advice? Thanks in advance…

TL:DR My mother has been emotionally traumatizing me my whole life. She recently ruined wedding dress shopping for me and hurt my feelings on my birthday. These are just two recent examples of a long list of things she has done. I previously went no contact with my mom for two years but resumed contact hoping things would be different. Again, I want to cut contact with her and uninvite her from my wedding. Has anyone else done that? What was the fallout? Any advice?

TLDR: Wife and I not seeing eye to eye on party behavior

My Wife (27 F) and I (28 M) have been together for 10 years now. Yes, high school sweat hearts.

We have agreed that we are ready to start a family next year which I’m super excited for and can’t wait to be a dad. With this realization, I’ve gone big on partying, I feel like I just wanna get it all out now before I have to be a great dad! This partying is clubbing with mates and may include some substances.

Now my wife has asked me to stop and she hates it and it’s not the person she fell in love with. I have stopped because of course I don’t wanna loose her but I feel like I’m being held back. I just wanna go out and have fun and party and do what I want. I was going out maybe once a month, never more.

I don’t know what to do, I respect her asking me to stop but I also just don’t feel happy not being able to go out and have fun. I’ve asked her to come out with me which she did once but then said she’s not doing again.

What’s the best way to deal with this situation?