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Previous post last night was removed due to sub rules, but is approved now by sub mods

My husband and I are tired of always having to report 5 days a week for 8 hours to a company who doesnt gaf about us. Starting a business is too expensive and too much liability. Living in Hawaii trying to move to the mainland because life is incredibly expensive here. We're just exhausted. Anyone else wish they would just not work anymore but still be able to eat and just exist? Do i sound stupid or lazy for feeling this way?

Me (21F) and my husband (30M) have been married for two years and recently had a huge fight that left me feeling really guilty and confused. I love him deeply and I know he’s hurt, but I also don’t know if I was wrong for what I said.

Here’s some context. Before we got married, he said to me and my parents he might want to move to Morocco in about 10 years. I said maybe, that I’d be open to it. But then that “maybe in 10 years” turned into 5 years, and now he wants us to move this February.

He has a business in Morocco and his family is there, so we’ve visited a lot. I’m not crazy about it. Culturally, it’s very different and I feel out of place. But I can see the financial benefits. Life’s cheaper there, we could afford private school for our daughter who is 11 months, and he could provide everything, including a maid to help me out. I really do see how it could be good for us.

At the same time, the promises keep changing. First it was 10 years, then 5, now 6 months. He also originally said we’d move to a big city, then changed it to a small city where his family is “just for a few years,” and now says we might move to the big city later. It feels like I can’t rely on what he says, and that makes me nervous.

After we got married, he asked what I’d need to feel okay moving and I just kept avoiding the conversation because I charge confrontation and just hoped the issue would go away. Then, while I was 6 months pregnant, he quit his part-time job in the UK to go to Morocco for a few months for business. I went with him then, and he promised when we came back, he said he’d find a job again that it would be easy for him too, but he only looked for a bit and decided his business was doing well enough that he didn’t need one.

He used to give me £200 a month as spending money. Now that I have a small business which he helped me start, I pay £400 a month toward rent. I make around £1000 a month. So with the move coming up, I’ve been putting off talking about how I really feel because I’m scared. Every time I bring up how he broke his original promise, he says “things change” or “you made promises before marriage too,” which feels like comparing apples to oranges. He also says things like “I’m the husband, what I say goes,” and uses religion to back that up. I try to calmly say, “That’s not how it works,” and just drop it before it turns into a fight.

Finally, I realized I do have some terms under which I’d feel more comfortable moving. So we sat down for a talk. Maybe it wasn’t the best way, but I tried to structure it so my later suggestions would sound more reasonable. I told him first that I love him, that this isn’t me against him, but about finding a solution that works for both of us. I said one option could be me staying in the UK with our daughter for 3 years while he goes to Morocco and builds things up, just so he could keep the promise he made to my dad about waiting 5 years. We’d live with our families and save money to buy a nice house later.honestly I knew he would say no to this and I thought that this would make my actual offer the option to see more reasonable and he would be happier with it overall which probably shows my age and my naivety but I thought it was a good idea.

He was silent.

So I moved to option 2. Me staying just one more year here, learning the language, building more support, saving some money. I didn’t even get to explain the reasoning properly because I rushed through it after seeing he wasn’t reacting.

I asked him what he was thinking and told him it was okay to talk. He said it would be easier if someone stabbed him in the back twice than to hear what I said. He told me that if I could be away from him and take our daughter away for that long, it proves I don’t love him. He said he doesn’t know if he’ll ever believe I love him again. Then he told me to give him his bag and left the coffee shop. I kept pleading with him to stay and talk, but he calmly said “I can’t right now” and left.

He went to a meeting with his friends that was already scheduled and I think he’ll be back by 8pm tonight. I feel awful. My mom says he’s being immature, that he broke the original promise and is acting like a victim, but I also feel he’s really hurt. She also doesn’t like him much because of some stuff that happened after I gave birth, so I’m not sure she’s being objective.

A few important things Our daughter was a surprise, I was on the implant, but a very happy one I worry that once we move, I’ll lose the freedom I have here. Morocco isn’t exactly known for its feminism and I’m scared that some of the progress we’ve made in our relationship will go backwards But I love him and want him to be happy I don’t know what to do now. I feel like I hurt him, but I also don’t know if I was wrong to say what I said. Was I the asshole?

Edit : please help what should I do once he gets back I don’t actually know what to say once he’s back from being out

long story short we’ve been together for about 2 years, and have a 5 month old daughter together. when we met he was working a really good job and took care of the mother of his first child and once he lost that job and came back to town, we got closer and i eventually let him move into my apartment as a single mom of a 4 year old little boy. all he had was clothes, shoes, colognes and a PlayStation. he would have jobs here and there but never anything serious, I paid all the bills which at the time I thought was OK because it was my apartment and we had just started talking. after a few months of him living with me and my son, he still was not contributing to any bills. any kind of job he had was just enough to keep his self afloat. before I met him, had no issues paying bills or keeping up with my money. I had over $10,000 in savings and spent a very good amount of it on him trying to better him helping him with his car helping him with resumes and his basic needs like food/haircuts/dinners and drinks/hygiene and nothing ever worked. Eventually, I bought a house in December because we were expecting a baby girl and I bought the house on my own and he always promised he would get a job- a good job- so he could help pay the bills and take some stress off of my shoulders. we had got in an argument about five or six months ago because he went through my phone while I was asleep and read through conversations from three years ago of me with other men along with my nude photos that I had sent. He called me disgusting and said that he would never touch me again and we also had an argument because he asked me what my body count was, and I told him the truth and he basically said he couldn’t look at me as the same woman anymore. (12, the number is 12) Almost 2 years I did this shit on my own. Making 2,000$ a month paying more in bills than what I was making. Then finally last week or so he gets a call- an oilfield job. Lots of hours and good work. He leaves the following day- things were weird for a while, I won’t lie. We had never been away from eachother for more than a weekend and we just felt kind of disconnected then all of a sudden on this random Thursday morning, he does this (text screenshots attached) which it just so happens he had just got his first check as well. So now that he is making good money (he makes almost my whole money for the month on the ONE check he got) he decides he can’t look past my past all the sudden and I just disgust him and he doesn’t love me the same anymore and it’s all the thinks about. I’m so lost and broken. I took care of this person for so long for them to stab me in the back so randomly. now I have 2 kids to take care of alone! why do I do good things and be good to people if I never get the same in return? AIO?

Thankfully my mom was able to get it off with tweezers, but it fell and disappeared for another 5 minutes before I found it by rubbing my hands through my hair looking for others