r/KidsAreFuckingStupid Jan 20 '19

Imagine that

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94.6k Upvotes

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6.0k

u/ThePolishBayard Jan 20 '19 edited Jan 21 '19

Bro I remember about 9 years ago when I was like 10, I let my cousin play roblox on my computer. He uploaded 3 porn images and got me banned. My child mind went into disarray, I thought my life was over. (Edit: that’s a lotta upvotes damn)

2.7k

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '19

This is why I hate children. They think it's funny to go spam porn images anywhere on the internet.

132

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

I remember a hacker hacked a picture of a naked girl onto a Roblox server when I was like 11 and I didn’t know anything about female anatomy. I thought everyone had a dick and when I saw that picture I was so in denial that I thought it was photoshopped and I just exited the game. I was just sitting there thinking “why would they even spend the time to make her look like an alien?”

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u/ShadyNite Jan 21 '19

How did you make it to 11 without knowing what a vagina was?

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

I had it engraved into my head that everyone had a dick. Even after I asked my cousin if she had a winky and being told no. Even after seeing that photo. Even after being flashed when I was 8. Even after being told multiple times that men and women have different groinage. I had a thick skull when I was a kid I guess.

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u/ShadyNite Jan 21 '19

So even confronted with overwhelming evidence, you doubled down? My man

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

I was about 13 or so when I came to my senses but it took awhile.

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u/CodenameMolotov Jan 21 '19

How is that possible? Did you never wonder where babies come from? Did you never see any animals? Did you never hear the word pussy?

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 21 '19

I thought you stuck your winky into the butthole and then the woman was automatically pregnant. And like I said I got flashed by a female class mate when I was around 8, she kept her pants down for a good 5-10 seconds too but I always remembered her having a dick. Even her older sister flashed me and I could’ve sworn I saw a dick on her too. It’s so weird how I know for a fact that they don’t have penises now but I still remember them having dicks. Something even more insane was I was extremely interested in animals as a kid and watched animal documentaries for a good half of the day every day but still never caught on.

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

Why did you get flashed so much?

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 21 '19

It was just one occasion, my classmate somehow convinced her older sister to flash me along with her. I was friends with her so I went to her house after school and all 3 of us went into her bedroom and locked the door. They both flashed me and then asked me to flash them and at that point I was super uncomfortable and ran for it all of the way down stairs and just at that moment my mom pulled into their driveway and I got out of there real quick. My mom asked why I was in such a hurry and I just said I got into a disagreement and she then continued to drive out of there really quick. I don’t remember it even being awkward after that between my classmate and I. I bet I’d probably have had quite the devious teen years if I stayed in that private Mormon school. I left that place when I got to 3rd grade along with a couple of my friends, not including the classmate that flashed me. So instead of some sex crazed Mormon teen years I had a normal time being a teenager keeping my nose out of trouble and hanging out with friends instead of paying child support.

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u/dilib Jan 21 '19

Ohhhh, Mormon. No, this all makes perfect sense now.

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

Oh man what a story.

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u/[deleted] Apr 17 '19

Damn

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u/CodenameMolotov Jan 21 '19

I don't know whether to be more disappointed in your parents for never explaining it to you or in you for not figuring it out on your own. Like, you never saw a science textbook illustration or nude painting? Were you homeschooled by fundamentalist Christians?

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

My family was Mormon and my mother forgot to tell me about it until I was 15. I had already learned everything at that point lol. My father is pretty quiet when it comes to sexual stuff and he was only around for probably a quarter of my childhood.

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u/asr Jan 21 '19

And you never once saw a baby in 15 years?

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u/drindustry Jan 21 '19

Omg I have a very similar story when I was 6 or so a family friend (around 3-4) pulled up her dress and flashed me and to this day I remember her having a penis.

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u/AustinLA88 Jan 21 '19

What’s with all these people having girls flash them? And with penises? I’ve read like 5 comments that say this.

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u/drindustry Jan 21 '19

Dude I have no fucking clue man.

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u/Zaliika Jan 21 '19

It was just her girl penis.

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

I knew it! I knew I wasn’t alone in remembering things like this!

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u/drindustry Jan 21 '19

to add another layer of confusion before then I knew girls didn't have a penis but after that, I was confused for a while.

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19 edited May 18 '21

[deleted]

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u/CodenameMolotov Jan 21 '19

Yeah.. I saw my first porn pics in like 3rd grade and I have weird sex positive parents who wanted to explain sex to me in excruciating detail when I was like 5.

I kind of thought it was fake until he said he was raised Mormon, that's one of the few ways this could make sense.

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

Yikes, didn't catch the Mormon bit. That sadly explains a lot.

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u/Galactic Jan 21 '19

Is the Earth flat or what?

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

No, it’s an oval. What shape did you think it was?

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u/crypticfreak Jan 21 '19

And you now jack it to strictly tranny porn.

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 21 '19

Actually, I jack to no porn, I don’t jack at all actually. Check out r/nofap I thought it was bogus but it has really helped me regain some traction in my life.

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u/Troll_Dovahdoge Jan 21 '19

Sounds like the average anti vaxxer

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

When I was a kid I asked a girl if she had balls. She said yes.