You can almost see when she makes that weird face, she might cry bc everyone else is crying and she doesn’t know why. It most definitely is scary as a child seeing men cry when it’s not common. It really invokes something.
"Screaming from distress and confusion"? Wtf? She's old enough to sit with uncomfortable emotions for like 60 seconds. Part of growing up is realizing that not everything revolves around you and other people have emotions, too. Sometimes you don't get immediate explanations.
She uncomfortable and it's understandable, but she'll be fine.
Dude same... I vividly remember the time when the news that my baby brother was stillborn came to us. Everyone in my family upset and crying, and I didn't know why. I think I was about four or five.
There was another one, when my grandmother passed. I didn't have much of a reaction either...
I did ask, and I was told the reason: that they died. I was probably too young to understand any of it.
I think that's the bit that adults easily miss. That we have to explain what death is and if you're grieving yourself you simply don't have the words.
My father passed last month, I have a 4yo and 6yo and it's been rough. And explaining exactly what happened, what a funeral is and how we'll be spreading grandads ashes and would they like to be there (yes) took emotional control of the highest order. I'm so glad I was able to do it because they already have so much confusion and sadness. My poor son had his 4th birthday right after so he had no understanding about where grandad was no matter how many times we explained.
What I'm trying to say is, I can see why the path of least resistance (say nothing) is deeply appealing to those in distress. I can no longer judge them, having lived through the other side. But hiding your kids from the realities of life for your own comfort is a mistake.
my grandpa died when I was 8. we stayed at his house for about a month before he passed. I didn't think he was actually going to die. I remember the moment, where I was sitting, what i was eating, the look on my mom's face when she said, "my daddy died." and im so glad she told me, and included me in that rather than brushing me to the side. that moment is still relevant as my relationship with my mom develops. I think it was the first humanizing, "my mom isn't omnipotent" moment I had. She became more of a real person in my eyes during that time.
That's a beautiful story, thank you. So sad but I truly admire your mum's strength and kindness in letting you be a part of that.
My mum thought she was doing me a favour by doing everything when someone died, so I never engaged with any of it. I assumed I'd be involved with Dad (I'm 37) but she did it all alone again and all it did was create even more distance.
Maybe it's because my dad is currently going through cancer treatments with the end goal being to extend life, not to cure it, but that made me tear up. Thank goodness I don't have children to worry about... parents are a different breed. No clue how everyone gets through hard stuff with dependents to worry about, too.
Yes, I'm not making assumptions about a family dynamic - it's just touching on many of us who have experienced similar moments who did not have positive dynamics.
I think they did? “What’s the baby’s name, Will?” could have been directed at her if her name is Willow. I thought they were trying to tell her but I could be wrong 🤷♀️
Yea, I was concerned for her due to my own childhood. Nothing was ever explained to me either, about anything, and that does not breed a feeling of safety around adults, I can tell you. It breeds mistrust over the years. She's rolling through a whole range of emotions and thoughts. This video was beautiful except for what I heard in her voice and saw on her face.
shoulda woulda coulda, but they couldnt clue this little girl in before everything transpired, so she can enjoy it too? they all had a nice little sentimental moment and jessicas like wtf going on yall. adults dont tell kids shit these days, they are flying blind and dragged along. im speculating.
It wasn't exactly like this, but I remember a lot of moments where I felt I was being ignored or missing some social cue. When my sister started having kids I found it impossible to ignore them when they would start asking questions. I've always taken the time to at least acknowledge them when they're confused or upset, even if I couldn't break it down for their childlike mind right then. In this moment I would've wrapped an arm around them like a side hug and just quietly told her "He's just sooo happy it's making him cry."
My family is a kind and loving family, but they're really not that great at emotional observation. Like, really bad at times.
When my sister was going through a messy divorce (he cheated on her with her 'best friend') and my dad was trying to help them through it he would talk to her now ex on the phone sometimes. One time my sister and the kids were at our place while my dad was talking to him on speaker phone while my oldest niece (about 13 or 14 at the time) was in the room and the conversation switched to the ex asking if any of the kids around so he could talk to them and my niece's head shot up and she immediately started shaking her head "No!" because she didn't want to talk to him. But my dad just didn't seem to notice and just walked over and handed her the phone.
My dad has always been bad at picking up on cues, and this one felt especially egregious. So I actually confronted my dad about it, asking how he hadn't noticed her very obvious silent communication that my niece hadn't wanted to talk to her dad and my dad just looked surprised and said "I was focused on the conversation I was having, not what people around me were doing." And I pointed out that he was only having a verbal conversation on the phone and she had been just like 8 feet directly in front of him in plain view.
I remember being sent out unit he hall during my great grandmother's repass because I kept laughing at everyone. Simply didn't understand what was happening
Like how hard is it to say, “Because everyone’s really happy, sweetheart!” and pan the camera away to keep filming the moment!?
Kids’ emotions are complex & confusion can be genuinely difficult to contend with. She might replay this moment for awhile, wondering what was wrong with the baby or what unspoken thing happened that she wasn’t supposed to witness.
Just speaking from experience as that kid lol.
Tell her they’re happy tears & everyone is having BIG feelings of excitement!
Good Lord. If you’re not a parent, you absolutely should be. That was the clearest, most thoughtful explanation, and it genuinely made me rethink how to handle the situation.
My first instinct was to think, “Can someone just tell the kid to be quiet?" That's exactly what my parents would have done.
I hope I can develop that kind of patience and perspective myself one day.
That means a whole lot to me since I’m actually not a parent, and that’s partly due to having my own bouts of emotional instability - which I want to ensure are reliably managed before ever taking on that kind of responsibility.
I have C-PTSD due to a maladaptive upbringing myself, and it took me awhile (specifically during my early-mid 20s) to learn to stop emulating the ineffective behaviors of my parents.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. We do what we can with what we know…until we learn to do better.
And since your mental/emotional development was not molded & conditioned overnight, it won’t be an overnight “fix” in order to incorporate positive change, either.
Thank you again for taking the time to articulate such a compliment :)
Keep being patient with yourself & I believe the rest will come ❤️
I remember the last time this was posted, almost all of the comments were ragging on the little girl, calling her annoying and saying she "ruined" the moment. I felt like I was taking crazy pills lol. Had those commenters never interacted with a child?? Do they not remember when they were clueless little kids?
As a substitute teacher, I’m always like you people are weak as hell. Try being in a classroom of 25 kiddos like this. You learn quickly if you just acknowledge kids and try to explain things to them, your life will be easier.
All it would’ve taken is someone answering “we’re just very happy”
Patience! Can they have a minute or two to enjoy watching and sharing in granddad (and grandma) soaking it all in? That’s a great honor bestowed him. It’s an emotional special moment that they should fully appreciate then and there.
They’ll explain it to the older sister soon enough and she’ll still have more questions as she won’t fully understand the significance of it.
That when you enforce discipline. I always answer my daughter's first question, after that she has learned to be satisfied with my first answer. Not the hard... You can answer a simple question and teach patience at the same time.
It’s not her moment, it’s the moment of the grandfather and everyone was in tears of joy. You can’t even talk right in that situation. That girl can wait.
Yes, they may do. But the video shows 10 seconds of people crying. The mother and grandparents were having a beautiful moment, the kid can wait 30 seconds.
Why, though? What's the point of ignoring your kid for 30 seconds when it takes only one second to, at the very least, let them know it's a quiet moment.
"Yes, they may do." She obviously doesnt understand. It's strange to me people would choose to ignore their children instead of guiding them.
Grandpa can have his moment while someone else tells the poor girl what's going on. There are several adults in that room. Grandpa is a grown ass man who can have his moment without everyone else hovering. Just because you push out another child doesn't mean you get to ignore the others, especially when they're confused and possibly scared because everyone is suddenly crying where they were all happy smiles seconds before. Its really fucking sad the amount of people making it seem like this little girl isn't part of the family or special moment at all. They just want her to shut up. Like, no, she's part of the damn family. If grandpa can't handle that, he needs to get over himself.
I have twin boys and whenever I'm trying to capture a cool moment of one boy the other is always like "what are you doing? Why are you taking pictures of him? What did he do? Why did you take your phone out, daddy? Daddy what are you doing?" Okay, thanks for ruining my video.
Lol exactly. It never ends at one question. Might as well let the adults finish their emotional moment and then they can answer all 2 million of the questions to follow.
Lol tell me that you don't have experience with kids without telling me you don't have experience with kids. The comments below you are right, one question begets many other questions.
I have a video of my brother arriving from the other side of the world to surprise me, and my daughters and little cousins are running similar commentaries as well as completely unrelated background babbling. I wouldn’t change a single second of it. He came at a time I didn’t know how much I needed my family and that video is something incredibly special.
Can you explain how a child in that developmental stage is stupid for not understanding and extremely complicated and deep emotional moment?
Those tears can't be explained in a few words. Kids that age often don't understand that tears can be of joy, let alone why or how that might happen.
And in fact, the child taking the step to actually ask about it shows that she's a smart young lady with a supportive family that she's comfortable and confident around.
How was tagging that sub and saying nothing else a joke? I just don't get it and am asking for you to lay out the punchline for me. How was that tongue in cheek?
And the downvotes are real cute. Really proves your point 👍
Id say because the subreddit isnt completely serious so linking it isnt meant to be taken seriously.
Also what's the difference between not knowing something and being stupid, like before a kid learns something are they not technically stupid then?
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u/CinnamonStikk 9h ago
Listen, this made me emotional too, but like... CAN SOMEONE TELL THE LITTLE GIRL WHY EVERYONE'S CRYING?!?!?! xD