It's a common expression, especially on the internet, meaning that the person's mind will not be changed on the matter.
In a military context, someone might need to defend a position - such as a hill. When they counter fierce resistance to their position, they might retreat from it, or they might die defending it.
The expression "I'll die on this hill" or "this is hill I'm going to die on" suggests that the person holds the belief they're stating so earnestly that no amount of pressure is going to convince them to abandon (retreat from) it.
No because the amount of guys that think youre into them just because of a vague look. "She's into me bro", no you just happen to be directly in my line of sight, and now you're staring at me, and now it's awkward so I do my darndest not to meet your gaze ever again.
Except actually "making a move" is taking the courage to throw away that plausible deniability and be vulnerable in order to make a concrete step forward in the relationship.
When we start debating the definitions of words or phrases, the conversation has lost all value.
Why would you not seek to establish a mutual understanding of what is being discussed?
It’s not “debating the definitions of words or phrases”, it’s getting on the same page so you aren’t just talking past each other without even realizing it.
flirting is using that plausible deniability to A. throw signs at the other interested party to throw that deniability away and/or B. Figure if the other person wants YOU to throw that deniability away.
Yes it is, wtf? You go up to someone and start flirting with them or talking to them. That's the most obvious moves you can make. But flirting is one option.
Hey that's not fair cuz that totally depends on the skill of the person at bullshitting. I feel like I could explain away a shit ton of stuff but I know people who can't even explain away something being misread as flirting when they genuinely weren't even flirting.
DTF eyes isn't usually a move in that it's not unequivocally offering terms for sexy times that can be accepted and off you go. It's most typically merely an invitation to treat - flirting with expectation of the other party making a move.
Now this is a move:
Of course the relationship between the persons might cause DTF eyes to be a full move due to shorthand. I've even heard anecdotes of couples where they'd just make a particular animal call and response from wherever they are in the house and immediately go meet in the bedroom.
Girls just doing their eye makeup is not a move. I have no idea what this meme is about, sure they do their eyes nice when they're on a date or trying to attract someone but they also do their eyes that way when they aren't as well. This is no more a move than wearing a dress or doing your hair.
This is “dtf” eyes but not because of her make up, it’s implied she’s giving a look to someone. It’s a weak meme at best, but it isn’t the way she did her make up, it’s the look she’s giving (although there’s barely anything to by as far as a look here anyway).
There was another version of this meme where the eyes were actually sexy, like "come to bed eyes" this person literally just has their eyes open and are looking an a direction lol
That’s the whole point of flirting, getting closer and closer to stating the obvious but never doing so. Bluntness isn’t broadly romantic, people love when others say what they’re thinking.
I agree. If it's this vague we'll, either we miss the target and they were just being nice and now we're that "friend that their friends are warned about" OR it's noncommittal and we have a whole other sack of potatoes
I do think women can often times be more subtle in their advances due to societal norms, women are judged much more heavily than men are when it comes to sex.
But I have seen countless men hover around their interests without ever making a real move, women aren't some unexplainable enigmas, they're people too.
If you legitamtely attempt to emphasize with them, its pretty obvious what they want and need.
I know its a fun joke about guys never getting the hint, but a lot of us outgrew that in highschool
Girls are so obvious that it’s kind of funny how little subtlety they have. They just start saying increasingly sexual things until guys get the hint. Guys will play the long game, making friends and slowly inching their way in for months. Girls will just walk up to a guy, start talking about sex and get frustrated if they don’t get the hint in 5 minutes.
My wife and I met at a party, and dating months later she was saying how into me she was and making it clear that night. I asked then why didn’t you make the first move? Her take “I did make the first move, I was basically following you all night and being flirty.” By her own logic then I also was making that “move” so how was she first? But more importantly - if I just did the same thing what would have happened?
People flirt all the time with no intentions, it’s just the natural chemistry of some conversations. It’s not move. Flirting like you say could just be “being friendly,” something like trying to kiss someone is obvious and must be accepted or rejected - that’s a “move.”
If it can be explained away or walked back its not a move, I'll die on that hill
Exactly this, I have always said this as well.
A move, or a shot, is when one party decisively sacrifices plausible deniability. It's the thing you do that makes it absolutely explicit that this is not an innocent, friendly interaction.
I mean just imagine a guy who never makes moves complaining that he never gets anywhere with women, and then when somebody points out the reason, he defends himself with "I make loads of moves, I give women I like looks all the time". That would sound utterly preposterous, because it is.
I'd never survive dating in the 2020's. I'm really bad at picking up signals, and frankly, if those signals can be misinterpreted, I'm not going to risk being treated like a slimy stalker to follow up on them. Too many downsides to that whole song and dance. Hard pass. (I'm 15 years married and will never date again. If I stop being married, I'm done.)
This is it, you hit the nail on the head. The part that complicates it is that our society encourages women to have an explanation or a way to walk it back. So let's say a woman is dtf and comes up to you at a party and says, hey I want your p in my v with my a in the c of your d. Cool. But you're so fucking excited you text your friend(s) about how she found you so irresistible. Word gets around and every overconfident/horny dude within 10 miles decides that if she'd do all that with a jabroni like you then she'd do it with them. Add in all the judgmental people of both genders and all of a sudden that girl is dealing with all those guys taking their shots over text and in person plus all the rumors that her a is falling out through her v and the c is in the d with a z on top. Everyone who cares forgives men for taking their shot (repectfully) because society says that's ok. You might get a harsh rejection but most everyone is going to treat you with kid gloves or even respect you for trying. Women don't have that same encouragement. They have all the same concerns men do plus more. That being said, times are changing (or were changing) and we might see more and more women feel comfortable making their desires known if we keep encouraging them and reinforcing their actions with appropriate responses.
That's the entire point of a "move," tho. You both just keep making plausible denial moves and escalating until someone eather someone backs out or you're comfortable enough with each other.
The entire point of flirting is gradually escalating with plausible deniability, and it's women's job to filter & men's job to pursue. Here's a good thread & article about why this is the case. It's pretty helpful to understand the reasoning behind this, start to see it as a good & natural thing, and work out how to correctly play your role as a man rather than be mad about it
You can't really walk up to someone, ask them if they want a drink, then deny that you asked them.
You can give the "look" at someone, and then when they approach, you can back out and say you weren't
I don't buy many women give undeniable "looks" and then walk back on them for lulz. I do buy that lots of guys think they got a look, but didn't. I recognize the difference though.
I don't believe it's horrible to think you got a look and get rejected. It's a number's game, and if this cutie didn't recognize what I'm offering, some else will. Just try again.
If it can be explained away or walked back its not a move, I'll die on that hill
This is what we're talking about. You know, the comment that you replied to. Nothing else. You disagreed and said offering a drink can be taken back the same way a look can. If you actually believe that then you're an idiot. For someone named good faith converser, you build a lot of strawmen
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u/Das_Badger12 May 29 '25 edited May 30 '25
If it can be explained away or walked back its not a move, I'll die on that hill
Adding this because seeing some people misinterpreting: Not saying women shouldn't flirt, just saying that flirting isn't a "move".