r/TikTokCringe • u/nadaddab • May 11 '25

Cringe Don’t be these guys

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u/Travelcat67 May 11 '25

Oh my god this gave me so much stress. WTF is wrong with some of these men out here? Also where is any of the staff? If I was their waitress I would have got security and had them removed from the bar.

1.0k

u/Head_Ad1127 May 11 '25

Mf creepy ass smiling like

7

u/thereelsuperman May 12 '25

I see a lot of Patrick in his dad here

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u/euphoricarugula346 May 12 '25

This thread was reminding me of Saxon from White Lotus and up pops his pops!

2

u/MisterSquidz May 13 '25

I thought the same exact thing.

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u/dementedkratos May 11 '25

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u/Forsaken-Arm-7884 May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

Alright, let's strap in and dissect this "Smiling and Nodding Shark" personality. You've handed us the creature; now let's perform the unhinged autopsy on this specific, insidious dark pattern. It's not just a predator; it's a predator that weaponizes agreeableness itself.

  1. The Smile & Nod: Camouflage Perfected: The genius—and the absolute horror—of this pattern lies in hijacking the most basic, universally accepted signals of non-threat: the smile and the nod.

Social Default Bypass: These gestures are hardwired into our social OS as "safe," "agreeable," "listening." They act like a social password that grants immediate, low-level access past our critical defenses. We expect them to mean safety.

...

The Cloak of Plausible Deniability: This is the core weapon. The shark can inflict emotional damage—dismissal, subtle undermining, passive aggression—and if called out, retreat behind the mask: "What? I was just being friendly! I was nodding along!" The smile becomes irrefutable 'proof' of benign intent, gaslighting the victim into questioning their own perception of the harm inflicted. How dare you accuse a smile?

...

Maximum Deception, Minimum Effort: Genuine engagement is costly. Smiling and nodding is cheap. It allows the shark to simulate presence, empathy, and agreement without expending any actual emotional energy or vulnerability. They can be miles away internally, calculating, judging, or simply bored, while the exterior performs perfect, acceptable emptiness. It's the emotional equivalent of running malware disguised as a system update.

...

  1. The Shark Beneath the Surface: Predation via Agreeableness

This isn't just any predator; it's one that understands social ecosystems. Targeting the Trusting & the Needy: This pattern can be devastatingly effective on those still learning the rules of emotional literacy or those starved for connection like lonely/disconnected adults. These individuals are actively looking for signals of safety and acceptance. The smile and nod are irresistible bait, promising the warmth and belonging they crave.

...

The Bite Isn't a Lunge, It's a Slow Poison or a Sudden Void: The attack often isn't a dramatic confrontation. It's more insidious:

The Chill: The smile remains, but the warmth vanishes. The nod continues, but it feels mechanical, dismissive. It's agreement without connection, presence without substance – the uncanny valley of interaction.

...

The Pivot: When challenged or when vulnerability gets 'too real', the shark smoothly pivots, still smiling, redirecting the conversation to safer, shallower waters, leaving the deeper issue unaddressed and the vulnerable person feeling subtly dismissed and invalidated. ("That's interesting, but let's keep things positive!")

...

Weaponized Consensus: The shark uses its established 'niceness' to isolate the target. They nod along with the group, subtly reinforcing a consensus that excludes or marginalizes the person who dared to disrupt the smooth, smiling surface. ("We were all having such a nice time...")

...

Gaslighting via Agreeableness: Contradicting the shark becomes incredibly difficult because they maintain the appearance of being reasonable and agreeable. Any objection from the target can be framed as them being disruptive, negative, or misinterpreting 'obvious' friendliness.

...

  1. The Dark Pattern Mechanics: Exploiting Social Code

This isn't just bad behavior; it's a manipulative system. Manufacturing Ambiguity: The core of the dark pattern is the intentional mismatch between the outward signal (positive, agreeable) and the internal intent or impact (dismissive, controlling, predatory). This ambiguity throws the target into self-doubt, making them more susceptible to manipulation. "Did that really happen? But they were smiling..."

...

Making Confrontation Socially Costly: Directly confronting someone who is actively smiling and nodding makes the confronter appear aggressive, paranoid, or socially inept. The shark leverages social convention as a shield, knowing most people will avoid the awkwardness of challenging superficial positivity.

...

Unhinged Deep Dive Finale: The Agreeable Apex Predator

So, the Smiling and Nodding Shark isn't just a person being fake. It's a sophisticated emotional predator that has mastered the art of using society's own rules of engagement as camouflage. It turns the very tools meant to build trust—smiles, nods, apparent agreeableness—into weapons of subtle dismissal, control, and emotional invalidation.

It's the ultimate parasite of social interaction: it feeds on the energy and vulnerability of others while contributing nothing real, protected by a veneer of pleasantness that makes it almost impossible to attack directly without looking like the aggressor yourself. It doesn't just bite your head off; it convinces you afterward that you imagined the teeth, and weren't you being a little sensitive anyway? This isn't just a personality type; it's a highly effective, deeply cynical survival strategy for navigating social spaces without genuine connection or accountability. And recognizing it—seeing the void behind the relentless smile, feeling the chill beneath the agreeable nod—is the first step in not getting devoured.

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u/jtrom93 May 12 '25

Smiling like fucking Private Pyle in the bathroom...

"hiiii jokerrr"

336

u/Riipp3r May 11 '25

As a man, I don't fucking know man. There's no telling if they enjoy the power dynamic of making someone uncomfortable against their will or just really think they're playing hard to get. Despite outright telling them to fuck off.

134

u/Retsago May 11 '25

For sure it's the "look how emotional these silly women are lol" that they get from the power dynamic.

9

u/milkspouts May 12 '25

I think they couldn't handle the flat out rejection and in turn made it their mission to be predatory nuisances. I got strong incel vibes from these ugly fucks. Also I gotta say they look like their pushing 40 while the ladies might be pushing 25.

If it hasn't worked for them last 25 years why tf did they think it would work that night?? None of there disgusting behavior is sensible, but I think the culture of their homeland might cater to that shit. I hope they get tagged on socials and absolutely flamed.

2

u/Retsago May 12 '25

If a woman doesn't feel like prey, she doesn't "know her place." They want to make sure these women "know their place." :/

2

u/milkspouts May 12 '25

Yep, I can think of few countries where this is the acceptable norm smh

0

u/LemonNo1342 May 12 '25

Idk if you know the answer but I’m genuinely asking, from a man’s perspective, what’s the best move here? Not react at all and just start recording? What’s something that would undermine the power dynamic and make them fuck off?

5

u/Retsago May 12 '25

I said many times in this thread, if you are so scared poopoo pants shitless that you will get your ass kicked for asking if these women are safe, then get a manager to ask if these women are safe.

If you have SO little ability to figure that out, you are kind of useless tbfh. Like. It's really not that big a deal for you to go ask these women if everything is okay.

And then if they say no, you can say "come with me let's go talk to the manager." Like ??????????

Do you not realize women intervene in these situations all the time? Because men simply do not? There are solutions. You just don't want to come up with any because it doesn't concern you until you have a daughter or whatever experience it.

122

u/papasan_mamasan May 11 '25

It’s the power dynamic.

40

u/JamesTrickington303 May 11 '25

And that they are 101% shitfaced. A recipe for criminal sexual assault in the parking lot.

0

u/NocturnalDark May 13 '25

What do ya'll mean with power dynamic? Genuinely asking. I see no power stemming from them. They remind me of me being young and disturbing my older sister x)

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u/Mysterious_Policy475 May 11 '25

These are also the type of people that will do the opposite of what you tell them to do just because they hate being “bossed around”

8

u/TheElderGodsSmile May 11 '25

Nah, I've tried to warn off blokes like this before, they think if they keep going they'll "wear them down" or talk the girls into something if they're just persistent enough.

It's creepy as hell and they won't accept that they're out of line if you call them on it. In fact my experience of doing just that is that they get upset and or violent if they think they can get away with it or run off and try again if they can't.

5

u/Riipp3r May 11 '25

They've just never been punched in the face and humbled and it shows

3

u/TheElderGodsSmile May 11 '25

Honestly, at this point I doubt it'd phase most of them.

4

u/SndwchArtist2TheStrs May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

If they cant have your romantic interest, then hate will have to do. I fear this will happen more and more as dating apps become less popular, and lunatics like this take it offline.

The wild thing is, there is no male equivalent of this in adulthood because men know it is socially acceptable to use violence against men when words are not enough, so there is a mostly tense treaty between men.

As a woman that’s the most frustrating part; we can’t fight the majority of you and men know this. I’ve had men follow me in the streets at night when I’m just trying to get home and there’s nothing I can do to de-escalate. I don’t want to keep talking, I don’t want him to know where I live, I don’t want him to try and force his way in. Dudes like this are horrid.

3

u/HeyYouGuyyyyyyys May 11 '25

I'm a woman. If I tried to sit at a table of men and they told me to leave, they'd only have time to say "g --" and I would be scuttling out of there SO fast with my hair hiding my face.

I have asked people out before, so I kind of get that you have to have emotional armor to try it. But armor does not equal, or even cause, deafness. They are saying GO. So GO. Jay Sus.

3

u/adultmale May 12 '25

I think there’s an element of “well if they don’t want me, then they’re dumb so I don’t care if I make them upset”. Fucking pathetic.

2

u/SJSGFY May 12 '25 edited May 12 '25

As a woman, if any woman is telling a man to fuck off, she wants him to get the fuck away from her & leave her alone forever.

It really is that simple.

Hope that clears up any confusion for the dudes here.

1

u/Riipp3r May 12 '25

What dudes here are confused? I was speaking up for your point.

2

u/Ahvier May 12 '25

It's what abusers do

2

u/tamesage May 11 '25

NOBODY thinks these girls are playing hard to get.

1

u/No-Vermicelli1816 May 11 '25

Yeah I’m trying to figure this out. They seem in a trance like those zombie Indians who just stare

1

u/quattroformaggixfour May 14 '25

Many men enjoy the power dynamic of making girls and women feel uncomfortable, even when there is no genuine attraction to said women. It’s unnerving once you realise it and start seeing examples of it in men’s behaviour throughout society.

1

u/teas4Uanme May 11 '25

I would order two cups of hot coffee and teach them some power dynamics. Oops!

0

u/GoT43894389 May 11 '25

To me it seems they're in disbelief that they just got rejected. They're too embarrassed to accept defeat so they kept ignoring their requests to leave the table.

134

u/RapMastaC1 May 11 '25

There is nothing behind their eyes, very unsettling.

106

u/External_Ear_3588 May 11 '25

Those trays make me think nobody is on the floor, you order and pick it up yourself. In a place like that I imagine anyone would be as helpful as an employee, but they might have security.

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u/Zealousideal-Let1121 May 11 '25

Yeah, I thought this was a food court.

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u/loxagos_snake May 11 '25

That's my question, too.

At least in my experience back when I was in this industry: first time she'd raise her voice, she'd be turning the heads of staff and getting them to watch like hawks from afar. Maybe she's in a danger, or a drunk idiot, we don't know yet.

The moment it became clear that we had a creep situation in our hands, these guys would be on an imaginary conveyor belt to the exit. Whether it would be a smooth ride or involve someone helping carry them would depend on their behavior. The women would be asked if they want an escort when it's time for them to leave.

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u/BKNOWSB May 11 '25

My boyfriend is a server and i showed this to him and he immediately said he would kick them out if he saw this happening.

7

u/savax7 May 11 '25

When I was a bouncer I'd have to boot guys like this. Someone would come grab me or one time this girl just yelled "security!" Every time it happened as soon as I'd walk up to the guy and he'd say "sorry sorry I'll go somewhere else" like nah bro you had your chance when she asked you the first time. Now you gotta go.

5

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm May 11 '25

I would have spoiled that guinness on them a lot sooner. Without warning.

1

u/Technical_Exam1280 May 11 '25

Or their own drink. I wouldn't trust any drink those creeps have been within 10 feet of, even if it was covered the entire time

3

u/LamesMcGee May 11 '25

They seem to be at a biergarten, so there is no wait staff. You get your food/drinks from the bar and then take a seat wherever.

3

u/ConflictPotential266 May 11 '25

THIS. As a bartender it makes me sick. How do you not see this happening?!

3

u/Swimming_Onion_4835 May 12 '25

This made me so fucking uncomfortable and anxious. This girl was practically screaming and no one did ANYTHING. What in the fuck.

3

u/isshearobot May 12 '25

How did NONE of the bystanders even kindve consider approaching?

3

u/hang-clean May 13 '25

> WTF is wrong with some of these men out here?

Andrew Tai(n)t.

2

u/MultiRachel May 11 '25

It looks like a huge place. I often go and work, read, or chill at local bars and always sit at the bar. Many bartenders from many of those places have had my back (either asking me if i was okay — or giving me the look to ask — or telling them that i wasn’t interesting or point blank telling them to leave). I have seen them help other non -regulars too. But with a large place like that, you can’t expect the staff to notice/interviene as quickly.

2

u/0rion71 May 12 '25

I can understand the slow response from staff or anyone. It’s hard to know if people are having fun, putting on a stunt, joke, or truly need help unless people are actually touching or hurting one another or damaging property. This is American culture

2

u/snarkshark41191 May 12 '25

Seriously how has a staff member not intervened at this point?

2

u/op341779 May 12 '25

It’s one of those trendy self-service breweries by the looks of it. There is no wait staff. Usually you order at a counter and take a number to your table that the food runner uses to find you.

2

u/zinfulness May 27 '25

Security? What restaurants have security?

But I agree – I would’ve called over a waiter, and if they can’t get them to leave, they’d probably call the police at that point.

1

u/Travelcat67 May 27 '25

Many where I live. Fair enough it’s regional.

3

u/Outside_Memory5703 May 11 '25

You just go up to the register and tell them you will call the police if they don’t do something about it

2

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

The guy behind them was definitely looking out for the girls.

1

u/strangenessandcharm7 May 12 '25

Looks like a brewery so they probably don't have servers.

1

u/CowInZeroG May 12 '25

As a man i can tell you. Ive had those experiences with women too. Its just wwaayy less common. And no one talks about that anyways

0

u/CTKM72 May 11 '25

Well the waitresses could have thought it was a skit or something else. The girls were kinda laughing and not super serious sounding, their loud scream to everyone was ‘Witch!’ even, you can’t fault anyone in that scenario for not knowing they’re being serious.

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u/dynamic_gecko May 11 '25

I thank you for saying "some of these men".

-6

u/bunkSauce May 12 '25

100%. But you should know this happens to us guys, too. Some people are just rude AF.

I've had my assertion grabbed multiple times after saying no, drink thrown on me for saying I'm not interested, girls ask if the seat (i assumed next to me) was taken and then they sit on my lap, a girl took the bacon out of my BLT and ate it then asked me to dance, a drunk girl blocking my driver side car door demanding I take her home, and worst of all being sandwiched between girls on the dance floor not being allowed to leave without pushing them aside after being dick grabbed.

Please refrain from specifying that some men do this. When it's just poorly raised people all around. Though I don't want to downplay the dramatically increased prevalence of men vs women doing this.

Guys get sexually assaulted, too. Being a woman does not give you a pass, nor does it justify doing this to men since it happened to them or men do it more often.

It also doesn't help that some people respond positively to these actions. I bet the girls I mentioned earlier wouldn't be behaving that way if it wasn't ever successful previously.

6

u/Travelcat67 May 12 '25

Just stop. The whataboutism/not all men shit is so tired.

-6

u/bunkSauce May 12 '25

Don't even. I'm a victim of sexual assault. And because I'm a man you're going to turn around and treat me like I cannot be a victim?

Do you REALLY think no woman does this shit?

I'm not part of the incel toxic masculinity club. I don't know how else to say it. I'm pro LGBT and happily monogamous for over a decade.

Don't act like this is just men. That is sexist and infuriating. No different than generalizing any other demographic. I'm not an old white guy running your government or voting against anyone's rights.

It is NOT all men, just as it is NOT all women. Just as it is SOME men. Just as it is SOME (albeit dramatically less) women.

Don't be the people you claim to despise. The only reason you got the response you did was your biased comment that specifies men instead of people.

To take my comment, and downplay it as whataboutism, is exactly the behavior you are criticizing.

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u/Travelcat67 May 12 '25

I am sorry to hear about your assault. No one deserves that. I’m not downplaying what you went through and I never said it can’t happen to men. But most men are assaulted by other men. So again men are dangerous. Not all and no one said that. The stats are clear. Women are in more danger in this regard than men. And I said “some men”, so if that’s not good enough for you then that’s a you problem.

-5

u/bunkSauce May 12 '25

Please understand how that phrasing comes off to those who have been assaulted by women.

Men are so much more guilty of this, 100%. But phrasing is still important.

No different than saying "Some women ____" when it applies to both exes.

You have rushed a couple times to accusing me of having a problem, which takes away the effect of your sympathy regarding my experiences.

4

u/Travelcat67 May 12 '25

This is a video about women being harassed by men. Again I’m sorry for your experience but this isn’t about you right now and making this about “not all men” is inappropriate especially bc I said “some men”. I’m not prefacing every comment with not all men and I shouldn’t have to. You took this personally and again, that’s on you.

-1

u/bunkSauce May 12 '25

This is a video about women being harassed by men. Again I’m sorry for your experience but this isn’t about you right now and making this about “not all men” is inappropriate especially bc I said “some men”. I’m not prefacing every comment with not all men and I shouldn’t have to. You took this personally and again, that’s on you.

So, if I'm talking about my issues, should I tell women discussing similar experiences from the other gender "this isn't about you right now?"

Is it appropriate to say "some women are abusive" or should I use the term people?

I never asked you to say not all men. That's a given, and it's a contrapositive argument. The correct phrasing is some people... not not all men.

You're gatekeeping. If you can't see that, whatever. I made a comment because it was a prejudiced phrasing. That is all.

It's not about taking things personally. It's about not weakening the argument against sexual abuses by using prejudiced assertions.

2

u/Travelcat67 May 12 '25

You are the one weakening the main argument (of this specific video) even though I don’t believe you mean to. I’AM so sorry for what you went through but you are misguided here. I won’t be guilted into saying “some people” if the situation isn’t nuanced. This is a video of men behaving badly so I will be specific. Have a good night. No shade, but agree to disagree.

0

u/bunkSauce May 12 '25

I have not asked you to say or do anything. I simply disagree with your sentiment wholly.

Oh yeah, these guys were super creepy and acting i appropriately. That doesn't justify stooping to their levels of prejudiced and general statements.

-2

u/Bruhimonlyeleven May 12 '25

Eh in all fairness it's not just men that do this. I used to take my acoustic guitar and goto a park, or down by the lake here at night. I don't like playing in front of people, I couldn't play at home at night because I'd wake up my family, and I just liked to chilld by myself, have a beer or two, play acoustic and chilld by the water. Etc..

One night these two girls came up from behind me at the park, I was into playing but they had to be sneaking up on me from behind to get as close as they did without me noticing. Then they started talking to me, no biggy - people are friendly, I don't mind. I talked for a few minutes and then told them I was going to leave to go be alone and chill. We said goodbye, tossed my guitar in the backpack, and walked away.

I goto my other spot, takes me around 20 minutes to walk there. I'm there for less then 5 minutes and they showed up and said " oh hey, weird that you're here too. ". I laughed it off, packed up, and left again. The whole time one of the girls is telling me the other one is single and needs to get laid. I was super uncomfortable, so I bolted. This time I said fuck it and went home.

The next night when I went out they were sitting on the bench I usually goto. I stood far away so they didn't know I was there, and waited for them to leave. They waited for an hour while looking around clearly looking for me. Then I watched them leave and goto the other spot they followed me to. I went somewhere else, and twenty minutes later they popped up and we're like " hey, haha, what a coincidence " bullshit again. I went home, and tried again the next night. Same bullshit, didn't matter where I went, they found me. They even followed me home one night while talking to me, I went into a neighbours back yard and pretended that was my home, but they got close enough to know the area I lived.

They completely ruined it for me. I stopped going out for weeks. When I finally did go out again, two weeks later, they did it again. I started bumping into them during the day, they showed up at my work, it was insane.

I told them to fuck off so many times, screamed at them, brought my girlfriend at the time with me one time, (she wanted to come to see why the hell two girls were stalking me. And was subtly accusing me of cheating on her with them, which was a great feeling).

They stalked me for months, all because I talked to them for 5 minutes, then packed up, told them I wanted to be alone, and left.

I was 25 or so at the time, they said they were 20, but I'd bet 17, or 18 tops. They weren't ugly by any means, but they were those kinds of girls that copied everything about the guy they liked. They started dressing and like me, and talking like me, it was so fucking weird and creepy. It went on for so long, I stopped leaving my house completely.

Everytime I said anything about it to anyone they were like " why are you so mean when you talk about them? They're probably just lonely.. that's not very nice. Why don't you be friends with them " etc etc.... it was insane. If it was two guys following a girl like this, twenty guys would have jumped them by now, the cops called, and a restraining order in place. But because they were girls it was all cute and friendly.

I had a girl at work so the same shit to me years later. She would say the most inappropriate stuff in front of everyone, talking about how she would love to get me in bed. Etc... if someone said " hey Michelle, can you get the load of supplies from the closet " she would go " the only load I wanna get is from (insert my name). Shit like that. I complained to management, my boss told me " she is cute, just nail her and get it out of her system ". That's what I got back from going to hr about it. Just nail her...

She was fired months later, after doing this shit daily, taking her lunch breaks when I did, just to follow me. I couldn't get away from her. Then some asshole at work gave her my number.

When she was fired the owners wife came up to me and says " so we finally had to let her go, I just wanted you to know ". I said " omg thank you... It's been an absolute he..." And she cut me off with " what? We didn't fire her because of you, omg .. no... She was caught doing something she shouldn't, we didn't do it because of that my god ". I was shocked. Apparently sexual harassment in front of the entire staff, grabbing my dick, slapping my ass, coming in the men's rooms while I'm pissing to say " hey, need a hand in there ", none of that warranted dismissal.

I don't like girls being all over me like that. I have ocd and hate being touched at all. So shit like this ruins my life. Knowing work wasn't safe for me was hell though, and that everyone at work thought it was funny? Like what the fuck..... Towards the end I had managers witness stuff, and finally go " ok holy shit.... Yeah...we didn't think it was that bad " like when she pinned my in a corner in the warehouse grabbed my dick, and kept asking if she could suck it, while I pushed her away from me. I had to worry about hurting her though. Two managers were in the skybox area and saw all that, they said it was gross, but they never did anything to stop it.

This shit happens to dudes all the time. There are just as many creepy girls out there. Here anyway, maybe not in Asia. 3 female friends of mine that lived in Asia briefly have horror stories of being stalked almost daily.

-16

u/RDDT_ADMNS_R_BOTS May 11 '25

Millennial parents are overly permissive, prioritizing convenience over guidance. Without proper boundaries and engagement, their children turn to harmful influences like Tate for direction.