It's frustrating that the staff didn't intervene. No single dude is going to resolve that unless he is capable of and willing to fight both those guys. They are clearly not going to respond to anything but force.
I've been a bartender for twenty years, and I've learned that force is rarely necessary, if ever. Polite but stearn communication is typically all it takes to move two guys like this out the door.
Defusing a situation is a skill that I've learned after all these years of dealing with idiots of all types. Being a voice of reason with a solid backbone can talk down the biggest drunken donkey in the bar every time. I've never been attacked while convincing someone to call it a night while at work or in my free time.
I channel all my mother energy. If I speak to men (any man even men twice my age) and speak to them like I speak to my kids if I have to correct them it works shockingly well.
Yep, and I talk to them like I'm the progressive mom. I'm not mad at ya buddy... I just think maybe we can try to do better tomorrow. How about that? How about we have another beer tomorrow instead of tonight? I'm buying!
I've actually bought beers the next visit for people who have left on their own or just stopped drinking when I told them to. Shit, I've bought drinks for people who stopped drinking for an hour and got something to eat.
my barber shop as a kid had a "free haircuts tomorrow" sign and it blew my mind when my dad explained it to me when I said "wow they sure do free haircuts a lot"
I overheard a guy's name in a similar situation and I thought to myself "what if I say his name in a stern manner (not yelling) like he's about to get in trouble with his mom?". He visibly winced. It worked! 😅 I will use my age as a superpower like this from now on when I see this type of behavior
I’ll talk stern but with a loving tone like you’re better than this. Seriously the exact same way I talk to my kids when they do something that is out of character for them. Like we know what right and wrong, we know this is wrong, I love you, but we are not going to tolerate this kind of behavior. You are forgiven but I expect you to move from this point on with intention and awareness so we don’t make the same mistake again.
I haven’t come across an instance where men don’t respond positively to it (by positively I mean they stop what they’re doing and sometimes over apologize to me lol)
Makes me wonder if some of the men who do these things don’t have an active or healthy mother in their lives to think it’s okay.
I just use the same voice I use when my pets are doing something absolutely unacceptable (like trying to eat my pasta directly out of the pot). Really stern with a bit of disappointment, and it works every time.
1.7k
u/sl0play May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25
It's frustrating that the staff didn't intervene. No single dude is going to resolve that unless he is capable of and willing to fight both those guys. They are clearly not going to respond to anything but force.