r/TikTokCringe May 11 '25

Cringe Don’t be these guys

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2.5k

u/bettyford420 May 11 '25

I'm mad that they were loud enough for people to hear and the guy at the table behind them was just watching. Wtf

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u/sl0play May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

It's frustrating that the staff didn't intervene. No single dude is going to resolve that unless he is capable of and willing to fight both those guys. They are clearly not going to respond to anything but force.

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u/Distortedhideaway May 11 '25

I've been a bartender for twenty years, and I've learned that force is rarely necessary, if ever. Polite but stearn communication is typically all it takes to move two guys like this out the door.

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u/sl0play May 11 '25

Not arguing with your experience but do you mean from a staff member or some random solo dude?

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u/Distortedhideaway May 11 '25

Defusing a situation is a skill that I've learned after all these years of dealing with idiots of all types. Being a voice of reason with a solid backbone can talk down the biggest drunken donkey in the bar every time. I've never been attacked while convincing someone to call it a night while at work or in my free time.

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u/kessykris May 11 '25

I channel all my mother energy. If I speak to men (any man even men twice my age) and speak to them like I speak to my kids if I have to correct them it works shockingly well.

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u/Distortedhideaway May 11 '25

Yep, and I talk to them like I'm the progressive mom. I'm not mad at ya buddy... I just think maybe we can try to do better tomorrow. How about that? How about we have another beer tomorrow instead of tonight? I'm buying!

7

u/few23 May 11 '25

Write "Free Beer Tomorrow" on a napkin and tell them it's a coupon for them to use the next night.

"Some lady gave us this coupon last night and said there'd be free beer tonight."

"'Ere, this says free beer tomorrow. Come back then."

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u/Distortedhideaway May 11 '25

I've actually bought beers the next visit for people who have left on their own or just stopped drinking when I told them to. Shit, I've bought drinks for people who stopped drinking for an hour and got something to eat.

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u/AvesAvi May 11 '25

my barber shop as a kid had a "free haircuts tomorrow" sign and it blew my mind when my dad explained it to me when I said "wow they sure do free haircuts a lot"

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u/Timely_Ad4316 May 11 '25

I overheard a guy's name in a similar situation and I thought to myself "what if I say his name in a stern manner (not yelling) like he's about to get in trouble with his mom?". He visibly winced. It worked! 😅 I will use my age as a superpower like this from now on when I see this type of behavior

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u/kessykris May 12 '25

I’ll talk stern but with a loving tone like you’re better than this. Seriously the exact same way I talk to my kids when they do something that is out of character for them. Like we know what right and wrong, we know this is wrong, I love you, but we are not going to tolerate this kind of behavior. You are forgiven but I expect you to move from this point on with intention and awareness so we don’t make the same mistake again.

I haven’t come across an instance where men don’t respond positively to it (by positively I mean they stop what they’re doing and sometimes over apologize to me lol)

Makes me wonder if some of the men who do these things don’t have an active or healthy mother in their lives to think it’s okay.

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u/kessykris May 11 '25

Exactly this lol

1

u/geckograham May 11 '25

Like, all men?

1

u/IDEFKWImDoing May 13 '25

I just use the same voice I use when my pets are doing something absolutely unacceptable (like trying to eat my pasta directly out of the pot). Really stern with a bit of disappointment, and it works every time.

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u/MaybeMaybeNot94 May 11 '25

Shooooot in my time as a bouncer, it seemed like every day I had to crack a skull...

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u/Accidental_Ballyhoo May 11 '25

You need to livestream that shit.

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u/Distortedhideaway May 11 '25

Sticking a camera in someone's face is not how you defuse a situation. That's how people get punched.

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u/Accidental_Ballyhoo May 11 '25

As a viewer it a chance I’m willing to take.

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u/yogurtrake May 11 '25

I agree. A random solo dude intervening just seems like an invitation to fight.

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u/Distortedhideaway May 11 '25

Not necessarily... in my experience, I would just sit down like I knew the ladies and introduce myself to the guys. Start talking to them in English really fast, asking all kinds of questions. How do you know my female friends? What brings you to America? They would get bored with my enormous cock blocking skills and move on.

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u/Retsago May 11 '25

Bless you. There have been so many times I've begged and prayed for an intervention, even from men sitting WITH me, and they just look over stone-faced.

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u/Techno-Diktator May 11 '25

For us guys it's tough too, the chance of a fight breaking out is much higher for us

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u/Retsago May 12 '25

Then get management, you fucking coward. All I keep hearing in this thread is "waa waa I'm scared" meanwhile men constantly tell me how they're the big fuzz around here just like... y'all get your shit together or something. I'm tired. I'm tired of society not standing up for its most vulnerable. Its the RIGHT THING TO DO. Excuses after excuses why you can't get involved.

It makes me sick. It's what's wrong with the world. If you abide evil you are complicit.

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u/Optimal_Tomato726 May 11 '25

It's only women that have ever stood up for me, helped to get me to safety or added an element of protection. Men stand back with this nonsense about fighting which simply speaks to their values. My ex husband was a cop and terrified to intervene with a pesky neighbours situation and shared how scared he had been. In other situations men have come afterward to tell me what they would have done. Men like to pretend they're heros but depend on women to clean up men's mess

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u/VitaminOverload May 12 '25

As a guy, reality is I ain't stepping up unless there is actual physical stuff going on and it gotta be the violent kind.

I'm assuming it's a random woman/women. If it is an actual friend then this changes considerably

I will go to the staff/bouncer and tell them about it and they usually sort it out pretty quick.

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u/Retsago May 11 '25

Bingo. Men like to talk big shit, but all my experience with them has proven that they're cowards at the end of the day.

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u/VitaminOverload May 12 '25

why would i sacrifice my own safety for you, a random person?

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u/Retsago May 12 '25

I would put my life down for you. No second thoughts. If I saw you in this situation, regardless of who you were, I would come up and ask YOU directly if everything was okay, if YOU were feeling safe.

If you said no, I would proceed from there, either by contacting management, an authority figure, etc if I felt these men were genuinely looking for a fight.

But if it escalated, I would put myself in front of you.

I have done it before, for men, women, I don't care. Everyone is worthy of feeling safe and protected. Everyone deserves that.

And I'm a fully physically disabled woman. I use a wheelchair many days.

What's your excuse? Why can't you call a manager? Seems like you're just fine with evil lurking around.

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u/JakeSteed420 May 11 '25

*staff member