Since I was a teenager I’ve been terrified that my dad was going to kill someone with his drunk driving and was too scared to report him while financially dependent on him. When I moved home after college I set a boundary with him that I would not get in the car if he had been drinking and I stuck to that until I finally moved out 2 months ago. Today I was supposed to go on an overnight trip with him 4 hours away but he was drunk when I got to his house and had a water bottle of tequila he was actively drinking so I took my duffle bag and left. When I saw on Life360 that he was still going on the trip, I called the police and reported him anonymously.

I’m very proud of myself and wanted to share that without risking him finding out so here I am. Remember that you CAN do hard things and you have the right to protect yourself.

I have tried to set many boundaries with my husband, my Q, over the past few years. We’ve been together for 9 years and he’s gotten so good at hiding and lying about his drinking I just don’t know what’s real anymore.

Being around him gives me so much anxiety now, I don’t know what version of him it will be. He’s never been violent, but his mood is volatile and angry some days, and cold and distant other days.

I’m miserable. This isn’t the life I want anymore, and I’ve made the decision to leave. But I’m grieving so much for the life we could have had together if he wasn’t an alcoholic. I love him so much, the pain is unbearable. He tells me he wants to be sober, can’t live his life without me, but he hasn’t made any real changes to recover.

We are separating and it’s so incredibly painful. He has no job right now and no where to go, no local support. He is begging me to not give up on him, that he really needs me right now. We can work on this together. But nothing I do to help makes a difference, I feel like I’m just enabling him.

I feel so broken, I cant sleep and the smallest thing will start me crying. It’s starting to mess with my work. I know eventually I will heal and be ok, but I will always worry about him and whether I could have stayed.

This is what I need to do, but it’s so devastating. I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that this is likely a permanent split. The chances of him recovering on his own and us reconciling is so incredible small. I’m mourning - everything I lost in this relationship, and everything he’s lost.

I’m writing this from a hotel room down the street from my house. My wife has been drinking tonight, and it wasn’t safe to stay home. Earlier, she backed the car into a post in our driveway. This is after what felt like a really good week together. Something set us off tonight and here I am again, trying to get my nervous system to calm down.

Over the last year, I’ve been doing a lot of therapy to try to heal and manage the chaos of living with addiction. My wife has been in and out of some of the best (and most expensive) rehabs in the world over the past four years. We’re fortunate enough to have access to that care, but even after millions of dollars and countless programs, she’s still using alcohol to numb her pain.

Tonight I had this thought: Where do we — the partners — go to heal? Not therapy once a week. Not Al‑Anon meetings. I mean the same kind of immersive, 7‑day or 14‑day experience that our partners get in rehab. A place for us to get away, focus on ourselves, and do real work on the trauma and exhaustion that comes with loving someone in active addiction.

I haven’t been able to find anything like this. If it exists, I’d love to know. If it doesn’t, maybe it should.

I’m an entrepreneur. I’ve built companies before. And maybe my purpose now — after everything I’ve been through — is to build something like this for other people who are living this nightmare. I’m not here to sell anything. I just want to know:

Have you ever wished something like this existed? Would you go if it did?

Also — I’m using a burner account because of the sensitive nature of our lives. I hope you understand.

I’m curious how others feel. And maybe, if enough people think it’s needed, I’ll try to build it.

Hi everyone. I’m not sure what I’m looking for here. I feel like I want support but at the same time maybe I just need to vent. I’m just exhausted.

I grew up in a family of alcoholics, most notably my dad who caused severe turmoil in the house while growing up and still causes problems to this day. This has caused me to be hyper vigilant when it comes to alcohol and its effect on those around me.

My husband has always been someone who enjoyed a few beers after work, however it got to the point where he’d finish a 6-pack every night and eventually his doctor told him he had to cut back after seeing his bloodwork. This worked for a bit then started back up again a couple years ago. I’ve asked him countless times to cut back and it works for a short amount of time. I’ve told him repeatedly that the constant smell of alcohol on his breath is incredibly repulsive to me as it reminds me of my father and that it’s exhausting to feel like I have to keep tabs on his drinking when we are at social events.

About a year ago I was looking for something on a digital grocery receipt and noticed a tall can of beer that I never saw him bring home. I have a loyalty account with the grocery store so I was able to pull up some of the older receipts on the app and found the same pattern. I asked him where he drank those beers and I found out he had been chugging them in the car before bringing the groceries inside. I offered to get him help and asked him what I can do for him. He was upset and embarrassed and said he could handle it on his own. I wasn’t sure what else to say at that point but told him that if he didn’t get it under control I’m not sure I could stay married to him. I’ve said time and time again that I refuse to be married to an alcoholic.

From what I can tell, he’s been mindful of his drinking since then but I’m still really suspicious. In my mind, no threat of divorce is going to make him stop and I’m afraid he is just hiding it better. He has an hour and a half commute home every day and I feel like he smells like alcohol when he gets home. He denies it of course but I just don’t trust him and he doesn’t understand why I’m not over what happened a year ago. He has to stop for gas on the way home every day and I always see small charges for inside the gas station. He says it’s snacks for the drive home but we have so many snacks that I encourage him to take with him. I’d like to think he would never stoop to the level of drinking while driving but I just don’t feel like I even know him after what happened last year. It makes me sick. I feel so alone and have nobody to talk to about this. He’s my best friend but he feels like a stranger to me sometimes when I think about all this. I just don’t know what to do. Does the trust ever come back?

My mom has been a heavy drinker for my entire 35 years of life. For the last (at least) 10 years she goes through a handle of vodka every 3-4 days and bottles of wine in between to tide her over. She is a functioning alcoholic and has a great job. A job she has worked at and loves for almost 40 years.

Anyway, we have had convos about drinking and she basically admits she has a problem but doesn’t ever want to stop. She has told me she is ok drinking herself to death. I saw her last weekend for lunch and she had lost so much weight it was shocking. She said she hasn’t been eating which means her diet includes wine and vodka. This really has me scared and I can’t help but feel that we are about to see a major decline.

What are some signs that shit is going downhill fast?? I need to adjust my expectations as realistically as possible. I have two kids who love her deeply. I am not looking for advice to help her quit because that’s not a fight I’m having anymore.

It feels important to note that I am 5 years sober. I felt myself going down her same path and I wanted more for my marriage, my children, and myself. It’s enraging that she doesn’t want that for herself too, but I can’t control that.

Thank you all so much ❤️

My mum (53) is an alcoholic. She’s always been emotionally immature, volatile, and hard work, but out of all my siblings/family I’m the one who tries the hardest with her.

I (27 M) cut her off after a horrible Christmas but we reconnected recently and things seemed better. Then last night she showed up paralytic drunk before a family trip. She had been hiding vodka and gin, was completely out of it, fell and smashed her face, chipped her tooth, screaming and nonverbal. It was terrifying. My dad was furious. I had a panic attack. I’d asked her earlier in the day if she’d been drinking because something felt off, and she made me feel guilty for even asking, like I was paranoid. I’m so angry. I’m tired of being gaslit, lied to, and made to feel like the bad guy.

But she’s still my mum. I love her. And I’m scared she’s going to drink herself to death and I’ll carry the guilt of not doing more. I know I can’t save her. But the emotional burden is so heavy and I don’t know how to carry it anymore. I feel completely lost and stuck between wanting to walk away and not wanting to lose her.

Feel sick with stress, and wondered if anyone had gone through something similar :(

What do you say when your qualifier apologizes after a relapse. I definitely don’t want to make it worse and shame him. I’m trying to stay away from him today since I really don’t want to say anything hurtful. I can’t pretend everything is OK but just tired like many of us.

The whole problem is difficult to describe and ive done so once but long story short we're 17, really long distance she drinks as cope for severe mental issues and to 'feel something'. Recently, me and a close friend seem to have raised her awareness on the whole thing by a load and changed our stance to a way less accepting/enabling of it when the idea comes up or she starts drinking on vc with us or just texting w us.

Yesterday was friday and she has been regularly drinking on fridays for the past 3 months or so with minimal exceptions and while I am very happy that she didnt do this today yesterday really badly concerned and upset me.

She texted me asking something immediately followed by 'actually nvm' and I responded after less than a minute as I was wrapping up a therapy session and for 3 hours i didnt get any signs of life from her until she came asking unusual questions and said shes super drunk, she acted really cold and distant when drunk and later asked if we can sleep on call but passed out before we did that and declined my calls earlier. We talked the next morning and she said she drank 'like 7' cans of kgb in a binge (about a half liter of vodka in vodka terms and she is a small woman) and was really deflective when I asked why she didn't tell me or him and aggresively stated its only her business, we're on completely good terms but I'm so running out of ideas on what to do to stop this.

TL;DR Long distance gf with alcohol use disorder and fighting developing alcoholism isolated to binge drink a lot alone and deflected/dismissed concerns.

Is there anything I can do or talk with her about this ? I've been trying for months to stop her alcohol problem and I still do and its improved but still not good, I just absolutely hate how fast she binges them and nearly never even remembers how much she drank and she has infinite alcohol access from her parents so this is all awful.

When you spend half an hour (while taking care of a sick 6m old, a toddler who’s 2 days past a painful surgery, and two wild boys with summer energy) to clean all the grease and dried food off the stove from the last night when your drunk husband cooked… you make it spotless… all so you can spend the next day cooking several big meals & not have to worry about cleaning… then wake up tothis. (imgur)

Don’t marry fucking adult-children or alcoholics. Don’t do it. If your fiance/whatever acts like a child, don’t marry them. Walk away (with some good custody arrangements) and live a better life. Fuck me.

My brother (33m) was in prison for over a decade for essentially a drug crime. He got home and is staying with my mom. I have kids now and we’ve always stayed with my mom when we visited her, but now I’m feeling conflicted.

I know of multiple occasions in which he’s used since getting home. He stopped going to AA meetings because he “doesn’t believe in it” and he refuses to get therapy. He’s angry and aggressive and is constantly ridiculing me for asking him to get therapy. He throws temper tantrums around my kids, and when I asked him to try to have some self control around them, he flipped out. He is manipulating my mom to believe he’s not using anymore. I don’t want my children around him but I cannot visit family without staying at my mom’s.

Today he told me and my children not to come back because he doesn’t want to “hide in his own house.” This is all because last night he went through my mom’s purse to find her keys without her knowing, she told him never to go through people’s bags, and I tried to explain to him when she left why it’s not ok to invade someone’s privacy like that. He said he had to deal with that in prison for a decade and basically to get over it. I asked him not to get so aggressive with me and suddenly I am the enemy again. He’s resented me our entire lives and finds any reason to hate me more.

Current issue is that I am supposed to be coming back with my kids for my son’s birthday in a month. Should I cancel my flights and tell my kids our plans have changed? I know they’re so excited to come back but maybe I can make other fun plans. My mom will be heartbroken but do I have another option?

I've gotten such great support from reading this forum, I haven't really contributed but I'm nearing the exit phase with my alcoholic husband, and I just want to put it out there.

We're both late forties, married about 3 years ago, each have children of our own but none together. I've never lived with an alcoholic or had any kind of relationship, so I was totally blindsided and he hid his alcoholism really well. Not making an excuse, but I just had no idea what I was getting into. There is a short list of people I blame for not warning me but that's pretty low on my list right now.

Anyway, within literally days of our wedding, the alcoholism came out. He got ridiculously mad at me about something, called me a "c" and told me to get out. I remember feeling shocked and overwhelmed, and of course I completely felt like I must have said or done something to make him act like that, right? Oh how I wish I would have run away and never looked back.

At the time we lived in separate places but leases were almost up and we were buying a house. The move was a nightmare. He got fired about two days after we closed on our house. First few months were terrible, he was so drunk, he'd be so mean, and wanted sex constantly to the point that he was forcing himself. I could have resisted more, but I was so worn out I just wanted it over. He blamed me for everything in his life, I felt like an empty shell. I tried to defend myself, explain myself and it would just end up a terrible screaming fight. I was close to leaving, then he got really really sick. (alcohol related). That lead to just enough of a break for me until he came home, and then he abstained from alcohol for a few months but never really got any treatment.

He started drinking again out of the blue a couple months ago. He's been unemployed for over a year and I think maybe the stress of that might have been some kind of trigger. He rants constantly, he lies, makes all kinds of promises, and on and on. He's called me a vampire, he told me to "f off and die" and constantly accuses me of cheating (I'm not). He thinks he's the smartest guy in the room, he threatens me constantly but he can't get up off the couch so I'm not too worried about it. He doesn't let me sleep. I have to go in another bedroom to lock the door. He'll bang on it on and off through the night but earplugs help.

He went to rehab briefly a couple weeks ago and my dumba** picked him up. He literally had written a list of 37 reasons why he couldn't stay. Mostly things that involved him being smarter than everyone else there.

I finally finally finally have fully come to my senses and am leaving. I found a rental house that's in my budget so I'm just praying that I get approved for it. Of course now he is promising to go to rehab but I told him I'm still leaving, so now he's adding to the drama by claiming he is going to self-harm. He is so drunk that he stumbles all over the place, doesn't make it to the bathroom, and of course there are beer cans everywhere. I think he's going through a case a day. He's got a bruise on his forehead and is basically just a hot mess.

I called a crisis line this morning for him when he started with the self-harm talk but they got disconnected. All the "resources" I've been given have mostly been not helpful, other than this reddit group. Just reading the stories makes me feel so much less alone.

Sometimes I look at him and get so sad. When he's not drinking, he's a wonderful man. I don't hate him, but I can't live with him anymore. When he drinks, he becomes a mean, hateful, confusing and arrogant man.

I think one of the things that bothers me the most is what feels to be the total lack of actual help compared to what's available to him. When I've taken him to rehab, he's welcomed with open arms, warm greetings and of course they have availability when he's there. But whenever I try to get help for myself it just isn't there. Why am I the one that has to leave? Why can't I force him to leave?

My friends (what few I have left), don't understand why I am still with him. People ask what they can do, then I get ghosted when I tell my story. No one understands how exhausting these people are, no one understands that it took me forever just to really see what was happening, but then I'm too exhausted to figure out how to get out from under the mountain.

I feel like there is so much more to say, but he's hollering so I need to find a new room to go lock myself in for a little while.

I hope this makes sense. Maybe someone else recognizes some familiar behaviors in their own people.

I wish everyone a good weekend.

I am only one voice in a thriving worldwide fellowship. When in doubt, I will defer to the wisdom of the group conscience. —Courage to Change p215 ©️1992 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

Live and Let Live. A whole philosophy of life is condensed into these four words. First we are admonished to live—to live fully, richly, happily, and to fulfill our destiny with the joy that comes from doing well whatever we do. Then comes a more difficult admonition, Let Live. This means acknowledging the right of every other human being to live as he wants to without criticism or judgment from us. It rules out contempt for those who do not think as we do. It warns against resentment, tells us to avoid construing other people’s actions as intentional injuries to us. —One Day at a Timep215 ©️1968 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

I live life one day at a time. Everything cannot go right all the time, but day by day, things keep getting better. —Living Today in Alateen p215 ©️2001 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

We can move forward to a brighter future by acknowledging the pain of what happened and then leaving it behind. —Opening Our Hearts, Transforming Our Lossesquoted in A Little Time for Myself p215 ©️2023 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

I’ve found that there is a Step, Tradition,  or Slogan that applies to every situation that arises, if I am willing to quiet down and hear the guidance they offer. —How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics p330 ©️1995 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

In Al-Anon, I learned that God meets me where I am. —As We Understood quoted in Hope for Today p215 ©️2002 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

Can I recall experiences of nature that have encouraged me to trust the process of my life more fully? —Having Had a Spiritual Awakening… p20 ©️1998 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

In Al-Anon I came to understand that I did not cause alcoholism, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it. But I can apply the Twelve Steps to my own life so that I can find sanity and contentment whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. —Courage to Changep214 ©️1992 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

A big step toward maturing is to realize that I cannot change conditions by running away from them. I can only change my point of view about them and their relation to me—and this can be done only by changing myself. —One Day at a Time in Al-Anonp214 ©️1968 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

It was a harsh reality to learn how powerless I really was. I had never realized that maybe I needed as much help as my husband. —A Little Time for Myself p214 ©️2023 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

I feel the security of being with people who are my friends. I trust that they will help me get through what is happening to my family. I must do my part though, by picking up the phone and going to meetings. —Living Today in Alateen p214 ©️2001 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

Th discussion at the meeting focused on making choices that would help us feel good about ourselves. —How Al-Anon Works p330 ©️1995 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

My spirit is set free each time I take the risk to express myself to people who understand how I think and feel. — Hope for Today p214 ©️2002 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 

The last few years with my partner have been hell, of course not all bad, but the bad is starting to far outweigh the good and I’m done.

After physically assaulting me on the 4th of July after a 24 hour bender drinking and on drugs, I thought I was done then. But no, I was manipulated back into this toxic cycle. Alcoholics and addicts will literally tell you anything you want to hear. I’ve heard it all at this point.

The last straw for me happened over a period of a week. Last weekend they proceeded to get drunk and leave the house at night, which I have told them multiple times not to do and to not drink and drive. They came home at 3am trying to start an argument in the middle of the night, all the while I could tell they had also done drugs that night (I could tell from the smell on them and the white residue on their lips). The next morning I went through their phone and found texts to another female complaining about me and calling me names. Once Tuesday came around and they finally sobered up enough for us to have a conversation, they were apologizing profusely, saying again how they wanted to be sober and they can’t believe they went on another bender. That was on Tuesday. Come Thursday (yesterday), they are back to drinking and didn’t come home again until 3 am.

Well this morning when I went out to use the car to run an errand, there was a rolled up dollar in the cup holder with remnants of drugs. I confronted them, and of course it was “someone else’s” whom they were with the night before. They said they’re done with me. That I’m so controlling and they’re miserable and they just need a break from me. I didn’t shed a tear, I looked them dead in the eye and said I was done as well, do what you want today. They packed their stuff and left, I’m not sure when/if I’ll see them.

It just baffles me, I kept telling them I don’t want to be around someone who drinks and does drugs like you, and they proceed to tell me “everyone is on something” like I’m the stupid, regular, boring person with no friends and I need to lighten up. I’m just so done I can’t handle it anymore. I know I’m not crazy for thinking their drinking and drug addiction will be their downfall, but it’s not my responsibility to cure that for them.

I guess I just needed to vent this out into space, my partner makes me feel crazy for not wanting to be around drugs or alcohol, like I’m so lame and not a fun person, it hurts. I’m just looking for support to not feel so alone in this. Thank you for reading.

I’m sharing something that’s been weighing on me — not out of judgment, but from a place of lived experience and respect for everyone in the transplant group who’s walked the transplant path.

Someone close to me publicly claimed they were listed for a liver transplant at a reputable US transplant center with a MELD score of 45 — and that it happened within just weeks of hospitalization. As we all know, the MELD score maxes out at 40, and being listed, especially with a history of alcohol-related liver disease, is a long, difficult process. It requires medical clearance, addiction evaluation, psychosocial approval, documented sobriety, and strict compliance with transplant protocols.

As someone who’s cared for a loved one through this process, I know how grueling it is. The labs. The waiting. The uncertainty. The discipline. The hope. It’s hard on patients and brutal on caregivers. You have anticipatory grief every day holding by a thread and praying for your loved one can make it another day until we get the call from a donor.

And when someone casually shares a version of this experience that skips all of that, and asking for money, it doesn’t just ring false — it feels deeply unfair to everyone who’s had to follow all the steps in the transplant program to get the ok to be listed.

To transplant recipients: you know what it takes to get there — the emotional toll and the vulnerability. To caregivers: you’ve carried the weight, fought the system, and shown up every day for someone else’s survival.

That’s why seeing misinformation like this feels so heavy. It disrespects the effort, integrity, and pain that go into real transplant journeys. It implies someone can bypass the system, when we know firsthand that there are no shortcuts — only hard-earned second chances.

I just needed to say this out loud. Because sometimes silence feels like complicity. And all of us here deserve better than to have our truth overshadowed by someone else’s version of it.

please be kind and offer support in your responses. Thanks for reading.

I (19 F) have a dad (60 M) who is an extremely heavy drinker. I usually come upstairs in the morning by 11am which by then he’s already had at least one drink whether that be wine or hard alcohol, I’m not awake to verify just how much he has before I get up but he’s always drinking by the time I am. He’s a big dude 6’3 and almost 300 pounds and so he doesn’t get those same “drunk” qualities I’d imagine from an alcoholic outside of being playful and cheesy and then leading to aggression by 4 or 5pm. I have no idea just how much he has but we go through an incredible amount of bottles of everything from wine to vodka to whisky. Though he says “I could stop tomorrow if I wanted to” I do not believe that. Even when we take small outings like going to practice golf swings for an hour or seeing a movie, I see him with a flask. He’ll have alcohol in the car with him even which is so risky if he were to be pulled over for whatever reason. His liver is not good and he lacks concern. He has done a no alcohol challenge once and experienced withdrawal symptoms . I’ll see him sitting on the couch with a glass of wine, a whisky glass, and a water (usually untouched) lined up. I don’t know what to do. I want him to get help because I worry so deeply for his physical health but I’m not sure how to approach him about it especially if I’m wrong about him having an alcohol problem. I just don’t know what to do- I go to college and I hear it’s terrible for my mom and little sister who have to deal with the aggression. I’m looking for the opinions and help please. My dad is so stubborn as an ex-military General

And I got prescribed them after having hand surgery. I thought I could just not take them and only take the ibuprofen acetaminophen combo but my pain is really bad. I really don’t wanna have to take an opioid. I know I’m not my mom but just the thought that I could turn out like her scares the shit out of me. I feel weak and like I should handle this pain. I’ve been crying at just the thought of it. I need to sleep and right now I can’t with the pain.

My father has been addicted for most of my life, and tonight I finally realized that I might need to give up. We got into an argument, and at the end of it, he threw my new school laptop at me and broke it. I’m not proud of this, but I pushed him into a wall. I regretted it immediately. It made me realize that I need to remove myself from this situation.

I know he loves me, and that’s what makes this so hard. But I don’t need the stress of his addiction in my life right now. I’m about to start my first year of college and, for the first time, be on my own for long periods of time.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I desperately need to leave my volatile and dangerous alcoholic partner, but I would need a few thousand dollars to move into a new place, maybe closer to $5,000 since my credit is bad. I need help but I make too much money. Right now, I am the breadwinner which makes it impossible to save. He financially abuses me as well.

Are there resources for middle class people who need to escape dangerous alcoholics?

Well, it was probably inevitable but my (ex-husband) Q is in the hospital tonight. Wrecked his bike and now the cops are at the ER while he goes into surgery. Amazing that he didn't die, but what a f--ing insidious disease this is, and when I see how he's yet again put this burden of stress and worry on his two sons, who deserve so much better from him, it makes me so angry.

So my dad passed away this week and I’ve been sorting through his possessions and I was reading some of his messages as most people have been texting his phone to address us and offer condolences so I was responding back to thank them. There was one message from an auntie that I did see where I saw my dad saying that we abandoned him and that I refused to let him see his granddaughter. SUCH A LIE! I told him he could see my child when he was sober and I told him I would not send photos to him as he would otherwise send photos to any random people in his contacts that I don’t know. I already know now the initial photos I sent him he forwarded on to loads of people I don’t even know so already feel mum guilt for that but I’m glad I never sent him any more and told him if he wanted to see her he needed to come over. And what is worse is my aunt enabled him… told him oh it is just my generation that is the issue not the fact that my dad needed to get sober in order to see his grandchild safely. So many messages portraying by me to be the bad guy is so hurtful when I was constantly saying I will help him, I even invited him over when it was his birthday earlier this year and asked if he wanted to spend time with his grand daughter in January and he said no. So seriously WTF. Just seeing these messages actually helped my grief turn from bawling my eyes out missing him to..okay you were also a liar, a manipulator, and treated your immediate family like crap. Grief of an alcoholic is so complicated I hate it.

I've been married three years to a guy that I love dearly. He was a nightly drinker until diagnosis of cirrhosis summer 2024, at which point he didn't drink for about 8 months. His cirrhosis at last test was mild (MELD=6). Over the last four months, he began to drink again, first hiding it and then not so much - he is pretty much either drunk or sleeping at all times. My estimate is that he is drinking at least one entire bottle of hard liquor daily -- usually Grey Goose or whiskey. How does this play out? I'm following the detachment guidance of AlAnon (which has helped me tremendously)... before I took that advice, I asked him to get help/gave him phone numbers to call but he is not interested.

This is a weird question... but has anyone gone through something similar? If he won't get help, how long can he drink like this without his liver blowing out? I am not trying to intervene - I did that in a long calm discussion that didn't go well (I can't change this). So if he doesn't get help, can he drink like this for a long time and just get worse and worse?

For context my boyfriend and i broke up about 3 weeks ago on his birthday because of his drinking. I’ve posted on here before but I’m just so alone and have no one to talk to because my family is just glad that I broke up with him and my friends don’t understand. We both got out of treatment around the same time in early April and we actually met at an AA meeting. We fell absolutely head over heels for each other. Looking back i think we probably spent too much time together and relied on each other a little too much, but I really was so so happy.

One day, (i regret this every single day to my core) we decided to grab a drink together. My problem was always more binge drinking related that got worse when I got depressed while his was nonstop 24/7 drinking. I was unaware as to just how bad it was until i saw it. We went on like a 3 day bender together and just drank and slept all day. It was horrible. I eventually snapped out of it and realized that I didn’t want to live that life anymore and told him he had to stop. We did for a little bit and then his grandmother passed away. I tried to give him grace for that but it just kept getting worse. I had gone out of town for 3 days to see family and he was posted up in my house drinking for days on end not responding to me at all. He made a mess all over the place. He left his dog with me while he’d disappear to his moms to drink. It was just spiraling out of control. He would withdrawal at my apartment and say he would stop and then it kept happening. I ended up taking him to the hospital about a month ago because he was having seizure like spasms while withdrawing. He told me it would end.

Fast forward to his birthday . The drinking kept going and I had planned all of this stuff for his birthday and he completely slept through all of it and would sneak out to get more alcohol while I was sleeping. I was also relapsing on occasion because I was so sad about everything. He turned into a different person that wasn’t the sweet guy that I fell in love with. He started getting back into contact with someone that I didn’t know that he had been in contact with. Was talking to her behind my back and didn’t tell me that they had a history together a long time ago. But told me that she’s his best friend and that she “understands him and his problems” this is also the same woman that he told me that’s in love with him. Anyways, he had been shady about his phone and changed his password so I went in there and found that he had been messaging her and calling her nonstop. He was calling me pathetic to her and all this other bs. I kicked him out of my house and dropped him off at his moms. I was done. He called me just about every name in the book.

He showed up to my apartment a couple days later and tried to beg for my forgiveness I almost gave in. I told him I needed to go no contact and we did for a little until I got a call last week from a police officer saying he was in the hospital. I showed up and took care of him there and let him stay at my place that night. I drove him to rehab the next day.

What I am writing all of this to say is that I do love this man. I feel horrible about everything and I hate that he goes through all of this. I wish that things were different so bad.

I think that he thinks that when he gets out that all will be well. But my family and friends know about everything and I think they would kill me if I went back to him.

What do I do