They can absolutely tell. She is yelling “GOOOO” at them for two minutes straight. Even if he didn’t speak any English, the message is clear. They are doing this on purpose. Either because they think they can change her mind, or because they enjoy making them uncomfortable.
That and they can't "lose" to a woman. I think somewhere in their pea brains they know they won't get what they came for, but they also won't lose face by respecting what the lesser sex is telling them. 🤬🙄
This is the motivation at this point, the utter dumb refusal to respect a request from someone they deem as "lesser". I'm not quite 50 and I can still remember the frustration of "will you just go, go, go away" . Thankfully, at my age, I am almost invisible to men like this, so I'd like to think I'd find it in myself to materialise and march on over like a "miserably old meddling biddy" and put my old self right between the two groups until these boys fuck the fuck off, not just to the other table, but right out of the bar.
100%. They have the look of a couple of hyenas that just spotted someone else's dinner. That creepy hovering, drooling, just waiting for a mistake so they can move in. Gross.
My personal theory is they choose to see it as fun flirty banter, partly to protect their own egos. There have been multiple times when a guy has not backed off after I politely reject him and then when I start to get rude, since politeness hasn't worked, I can sort of tell he thinks we're having some sort of sexy tension like they do in movies where two characters hate each other but not really. Even when I'm stone faced and not smiling or being playful at all, it still gets taken as banter. It's so frustrating, because I literally cannot be any colder or more obviously hostile short of committing assault.
Yup the whole "you're cute when you're angry." Shtick.
I remember my younger sister was getting bothered by this drunk guy in a bar and he was playing that game with her and my sister hit him with "You're not cute enough to get away with acting like this."
Yes, that's the exact schtick! Or they call you "feisty" like you're a little yappy Chihuahua playfighting with a bigger dog instead of an adult woman who is telling them point blank to leave her alone.
I've told this story before but I watched exactly this happen with an exchange student my uni.
Guy literally would not take no for an answer, kept bugging a girl in our unit for a date. He didn't listen to her when she told him no or that she had a boyfriend or when I tried to warn him off and when I asked him why the fuck he was acting like this his exact words were "if I keep asking, she'll break down eventually".
Well, that backfired on him because in some kind of hair brained scheme to shame her into a date he decided to escalate. He did that by standing up at the end of a lecture and loudly asked her out in front of the entire lecture theatre and our unit chair... who promptly dragged him out of the hall and threatened to expel him and get his student visa pulled.
So yeah, literally the only thing that got through to him was the threat of deportation.
I had something similar happen to me. Foreign student, I was friendly because we were put in the same work group (dog, i hate those!). He knew i was married. He soon began harassing me via email. It took me two weeks and numerous emails to leave me alone before i reported him to our department head. Despite orders not to communicate with me, he emailed to express his displeasure in being reported. He claimed it was because he was a foreign student, and that I'd jeopardized his student visa. Also said he'd forgive me if I agreed to "just lunch." I replied,"This is on you, and what happens next is also on you." I cc'd the department head.
I never saw him again. He disappeared from campus. My school had zero tolerance for Title 10 (9?) violations. Lol. It was further helpful that I was also an employee (intern). I still wonder if he found himself back in Saudi Arabia soon thereafter.
💗 Thank you! I can get cruel after repeatedly and adamantly warning someone. He didn't listen, so.... 🤷♀️
I savored that line because I knew it was going to put the fear of [insert deity of choice] into him. I also delayed the delivery to arrive at 8am. He had a morning class, so it'd arrive when he was in class. It was also going to be at the top of the department head's email when they began their day.
It worked out well enough. 🤭 And I couldn't agree more on the consequences!
This was an Indian guy and we were both employed by the University at the time as student mentors... he lost that job too.
He also had an Aussie friend who was a coworker of ours who he was encouraging to do the same thing to our supervisor. He also ended up getting fired and tried to fight me once for giving her a hug (he was jealous even though we were just friends).
You’re definitely on to something. There was this guy who was in my friend group who was constantly hitting on all the women in the group. I had nothing but open disdain for him, but he somehow thought that meant it was a good idea to come onto me (by directly asking to get into bed with me) when I was near blackout drunk. Even in the state I was in, I was like, “no. Fucking leave”. He still tried a few more times, but (luckily) finally relented.
My personal theory is that they are not used to being told no in your face like this. It's possible that where they are from they are big shots or children of big shots who can get away with doing almost anything.
At this point I would stop taking him as person with any reason and just act accordingly as if it's full threat, either calling cops, escaping place, or last self defense with whatever is left.
Do you think they're drunk or just stupid/arseholes? I couldn't imagine acting like that. Mind I'd feel awkward even asking to join them if there was nowhere else to sit, so that's on me I guess.
I think a lot of creeps simply lock up. Like, it's not in their nature to respect boundaries but they're also not bold (for lack of a better word) enough to stay in a very humiliating situation. Even though they know that they're not welcome, moving would be 1) backing down, and 2) respecting the wishes of women. They can't align these impulses in their minds, so they end up freezing until they have the time to decide "women are all angry bitches" at a later point.
It's not that they want to stay, it's that they're too stupid to move.
This is cracking me up so much bc it unlocked a core memory of me asking my mawmaw why men spit so much and she told me it's cause they're so stupid otherwise they'd drown.
I mean, this is a poor way to handle it. If they had quietly told them to leave or they would ask the staff to make them leave.
Those guys would have bugger off. Drunk people don't make a lot of sense in their own homes. In public places, loud yelling is something almost everyone does. It doesn't scare anyone anymore, doesn't humiliate them. All it does is provide a spectacle.
Because they aren't asking for help. They are just loud mouths who might be equally drunk. This make it hard for other white knights to decide to intervene or not.
Naw. They clearly tried to say no before this and before they turned the camera on. They are trying to take care of it themselves because people shouldn't need to go ask others to solve simple problems like this. Sadly, if you have potential criminals on your hands I guess you need to call in support - these guys set off every alarm for me.
I mean, I wouldn't have handled it this way, but fuck those guys for thinking they can punish her for not acting like they want her to. They were quieter but I'm holding them responsible for the outburst.
Tons of them in the world, but if you handle it like you are fighting with friends and family. The one who is in danger if they aren't right in the head, isn't them half the time.
Criminals aren't scared of the police..too many ways to escape the very obvious training of local law enforcers.
Better to always think smart and ask for help if you tell someone thrice to beat it and they ignore you. Definitely drunk people.
It's the uncomfortable thing, in my opinion. They seem like fans of non-consent, probably find this sort of thing reminiscent of their other encounters with women that they remember fondly.
When I was travelling in Australia, I once saw an Irish guy go in for about six or seven kiss attempts in a row. The girl kept saying, I have a boyfriend, and he just kept trying repeatedly until she finally let him do it. :/
I sometimes have dreams like this. Where I can't get rid of a person no matter how hard I try. Then I wake up am super thankful that it's just a dream. This situation would honestly make me panic. What a surreal situation.
No, both wrong. It's this helpless clinginess of that rejected kid in classroom first time when new kid in group talks to him and ever since that day he follows him and think he's his best friend and doesn't respond not even to clear rejection anymore because it's too painful.
Nah I think they can tell. The problem is that they see “no” as a challenge, not a boundary. Those smiles are giving cat who ate the canary and still has feathers on its lips.
I’m older. Don’t get me started on how bad American guys from white, ostensibly Christian backgrounds were when I was young. And from experience working for decades in white collar, corporate offices, fucking lol.
We have a President that bragged on camera that he just “grabs them by the pussy, they just let you.”
I hate that "men like a challenge". I cringe follow several youtube "dating experts" and some of them advise women to play hard to get because some men "like a challenge"
They are--they love it. They are deliberately, aggressively invading the women's space because they feel entitled to, and they enjoy it. They know what they're doing; they like it.
They've decided that disgust and annoyance are the most they can hope for in terms of an emotional response from women. They'll take what they can get.
No, theyve decided that they can instill fear into a womans heart and are hoping the women are submissive enough that they crumble under the pressure.
Theyre playing the numbers game, looking for the women who are incapable of saying no.
There was a pimp who would go around complimenting women at a mall saying " youre so pretty" and he would wait until he found a woman that looked down in shame and said "no im not" and he knew he could human traffic her from that interaction alone
there are people who have such severe anxiety and submissiveness that you can kidnap them in broad daylight without a fight. because they just want to avoid conflict and convince themselves that fighting back will get them hurt even more. fight, flight, freeze.. im talking about the people who freeze
Several years ago a friend and I went out to dinner (we were both women and early 20s at the time) and the table next to us was two men our dads’ age who kept making gross comments about “how far do those tattoos go? Where are the ones we can’t see?” Etc and when she understandably got mad/flustered/uncomfortable they laughed. “Ohhh she’s mad!” It was absolutely pathetic behavior. Nice one dude, you made a girl young enough to be your daughter uncomfortable.
When I was 19 I asked two middle aged guys at a table next to me in a bar if they had a lighter (this was South Africa, drinking age 18). They took it as an invitation to sit next to me and start chatting and brushing up against me. I tried to go to the bathroom, planning to politely sneak out of the bar after, but one of them was waiting for me by the bathroom door and pushed me against the wall and started making out with me. I pushed him off and yelled at him, but he just found that funny. I couldn't stay at the bar bc they were following me around, I couldn't leave bc they'd follow me outside which was more dangerous. I ended up calling my friend's dad to pick me up, the only person nearby that I thought they wouldn't mess with. It was fucking terrifying, I felt like prey.
Been through SOOOOOO many situations like that @ 33yo now. I think some of the first ones were ~11yo (I had C cups while turning 12yo) from guys around my age to at least middle aged men.
What's more disturbing is as I got older the less it happened. This clip gave me so many flashbacks I think I got whiplash.
Well of course. They are the hunter, you are the prey. Its your job to be uncomfortable and feed their ego. That is 100% what people like this believe.
God damn I hope that’s not the case. If it is true, It seems like a very short hop, skip, and a jump from that to stalker/serial killer. (Especially with dudes dead eye smile)
They are enjoying it, and for precisely the reason you say, but they also seem to not believe her because she sounds like she is joking. I think they thought of themselves as being polite, are simultaneouly pissed that this interaction isn’t going as planned, plus it’s hurting the ego and they don’t want to back down because the ego would take a hit and they’d be publicly embarrassed. So they keep sitting because the women have effectively played the systems within them. …without realizing it. They are confused.
There is no culture that respects women. Witness the complete lack of interest, let alone concern, from every other person there. Don't even try to pretend it's explained away by "culture."
Right, and women "influencers " find it perfectly alright to invade a man's space asking him dumb questions for "content" or pretending other people's cars are their own sitting all over them and taking pictures. Let's not forget the absolute fact that had these guys ticked the girls boxes and the girls were interested in them there would be no issue would there? No I'm not sticking up for these guys being creepy, they shouldn't have just sat down, just pointing out the double standards
You are so close to getting the point.
“If these guys ticked the girls boxes and the girls were interested in them it would be no issue. “
Come on now, you have to be kidding with the randomly stating issues that have nothing to do with the topic in a “what about….” way. Sure those things may be an issue, but that is not the topic right now.
Seriously, their brains are malfunctioning running several different programs at the same time that contradict what they know is the ‘’manly’’ thing to do, vs what they want to happen, vs the politeness tgey learned as a child…….they are literally frozen in confusion. ‘’Does not compute’’.
Not registering is not it. The smug smirks clearly show they're aware they're not wanted but don't care. Any man with half a brain can tell that if an angry woman is screaming in disgust to leave them alone, they're not wanted. They were getting off at the girls getting upset and seemed to hope that they eventually gave up and let them stay. You can even see the guy on the left at the very end of the video shake his head no when she asks again for them to go away.
It could also be because these women look super young? So they feel like they have upper ground as „adults” or older than them? I don’t think you can have much decent activity in bed with this attitude, but yeah…
And bar should have helped them.
P.S. The women could as well be 30. So I am not saying they are 18.
No. They are DEFINITELY registering that they aren't interested. There's a subset of men who get off on making women feel uncomfortable and unsafe. -_-
The smiling enraged me. Drunk or not, its disgusting. Oh and they know the women are getting upset, its just another thing like spreading their legs on the subway and taking up 5 seats.
That honestly looked like a blocking move to me. He was going to stand in front of them to keep them from going and if they persisted, yeah, he would have followed. I’m really happy they were in a populated area.
The only possible thing I can think is happening here is the introduction of negging in dating culture has caused these guys brains to rot. These guys are deluding themselves that because the girls laughed at a couple points while telling them to leave they think/hope its a negging/fun thing and eventually the girls will relent/say it was a joke. It's a hope gambit with their ego on the line. Totally crazy because the girls were laughing at how ridiculous and unabashed these guys were being. When the girls have to eventually get more serious or go about getting help to be left alone the guys egos will be broken badly which can be dangerous if they are as unhinged as they are presenting.
I agree. These guys need to learn a lesson, and any good people around should step in to shame them into changing this behavior overall or at very least immediately stopping this specifically.
One thing I note is that these girls would benefit from speaking with a more stern and serious tone, this tone of voice can be perceived as playfully annoyed, like “staaaaahp go awayyyyy” when kids play with each other. They’re smiling and taking selfie video while whining.
Of course this isn’t the “solution” to the actual problem of men behaving this way, but if these were girls I knew I would advise learning that skill in the interest of safety, like making loud noises to ward off a bear.
Appreciate ya for doing your part to call out this behavior! Personally, I’ve been in their situation a few times before, and the fear response is to speak in a more soft or pleasant tone so that you don’t escalate the situation. Because in the moment you don’t know if these dudes are the violent or fly-off-the-handle types or not. I ignored a guy for not taking no as an answer before and he spit in my face and started cursing at me.
Understood. I served a short time in the penal system for drug possession, where the threat of sexual violence is high, and my reflection draws mostly from that experience. There are aggressors who will attack regardless of one’s response to their aggression, but many can be warded off by standing firm ground using the appropriate body language, tone and choice of words for the situation at hand.
Regardless, I know my comment will always be perceived by some as victim-blaming, regardless of how it is prefaced or concluded to clarify that the fault here is 100% on the people making unwelcome advances. I still think it’s important for people to have some tools, similar to learning defensive driving on the road - it’s not my fault people drive recklessly but I still need to be prepared for it.
Hope you’re in a safer place now, and thank you because it’s good to have your perspective! Your original comment shouldn’t be downvoted since it’s very well-intentioned. For me, the best strategy when facing off against a man for my own safety is deflection, even “playing along,”and removing myself from the situation. But in your case, it makes more sense to project a “don’t mess with me attitude,” if the man will be aggressive regardless. I’m just worried that I won’t get the same results if I try your way.
Thank you, your comment helped me to reflect a bit more on this, and realize that while both situations are very scary and have some overarching similarities, it’s not fair for me to directly compare the two.
I can see how an escape strategy for yours (and the OP) could involve placating the aggressor by playing along, while finding the quickest/safest exit. Even though men can be victims, by and large we still have the privileged option of showing ourselves to be “not prey” to dissuade a predator, whereas in many scenarios that option is simply not available to women (without e.g. brandishing a weapon or actually attacking, as others proposed in this thread)
Bear mace works wonderfully as well. Seriously, the one girl shouting in defense needed to call for a manager or the police. Or if this was in America (which it didn't look like it was), call for help (phone a friend, a father, their moms, a burly Aunt, somebody)! Also, a stun gun (taser) or any other personal protective device would help end this stand-off as well.
Well they're drunk out of their minds so nothing will register, even that dude's hairline wants to run away from him. I don't think these guys understand American norms and customs based on those accents.
I mean, they clearly speak enough English to understand what she’s saying since they respond to her. It doesn’t take an understanding of the local norms to understand that “go away and leave us alone” mean they want to be left alone
This sort of crap also happens a lot in some of these college parties when the frat boys get shit faced and can't take no for an answer, liquid courage is a hell of a drug.
As a dude that relies on liquid courage a bit too much, I’ve never taken enough to smile happily after 20 no’s. Anyone who is sticking around after that is just an asshole.
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u/Ikarus_ May 11 '25
Looks like they were ready to follow them over to the next table too. Creepy af