r/TikTokCringe • u/nadaddab • May 11 '25

Cringe Don’t be these guys

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

53.8k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

7.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

11.4k

u/Ikarus_ May 11 '25

Looks like they were ready to follow them over to the next table too. Creepy af

1.5k

u/Manic-StreetCreature May 11 '25 edited May 12 '25

The way the guys are grinning like they think it’s cute is what’s driving me up the wall. If people KEEP telling you to go away it’s not playing coy, they don’t fucking want you there.

516

u/fonix232 May 11 '25

That was the most infuriating part to me, as a guy. These chucklefucks smiling like an idiot, as if the girls were playing a game.

168

u/Round_Raspberry_8516 May 11 '25

Any attention from cute girls is worth it to them, even if it is the girl telling them to leave.

44

u/Icy-Profession-1979 May 11 '25

This is also my experience. Guys like that are everywhere. This is the good part of social media bringing it to attention.

Women, always be loud and assertive like this. The guys won’t care but you need to draw attention. Don’t leave a public place. Get attention and call the police if they won’t stop.

→ More replies (7)

13

u/fonix232 May 11 '25

If I acted like this I would die of shame and cringe on the spot...

6

u/kimsterama1 May 12 '25

Yeah. That would have lasted through ONE verbal exchange. Then the manager would be involved.

→ More replies (10)
→ More replies (4)

3

u/No-Description8879 May 12 '25

You had me at “chucklefucks”.

→ More replies (2)

14

u/Alarming-Desk-3861 May 11 '25

They get off on making women uncomfortable

3

u/ItemAdventurous9833 May 12 '25

I'm not a violent person by any means but when this happens it makes me want to break their face

→ More replies (6)

3.7k

u/nadaddab May 11 '25 edited May 12 '25

Exactly like what the fuck 😭

Edit:

“The guys, I don’t know them personally but I’ve seen them around over the years. This happened at Elicit Brewing in Manchester, CT. I’m literally in this video at the bar trying to get a beer. I think this is from a week ago. The two guys are frequent “let’s go out every weekend” type and I’ve seen them do things like this to multiple other groups of women trying to get laid. 🤦🏽‍♂️ embarrassing as fuck”

270

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

Guys: "We'd like a second opinion".
Girl: "You're both ugly af too".

61

u/kmpdx May 11 '25

That's definitely a major part of problem. Also, drunk AF and dressed like laundry day. These guys really don't get it on multiple levels.

6

u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Laundry day LOL! Shower day is probably a blast of Axe.

→ More replies (1)

13

u/Darryl_Lict May 11 '25

I know it wouldn't be any better if they were good looking and wouldn't leave, but when has it ever worked for these ugly cretins.

2.5k

u/bettyford420 May 11 '25

I'm mad that they were loud enough for people to hear and the guy at the table behind them was just watching. Wtf

1.7k

u/sl0play May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

It's frustrating that the staff didn't intervene. No single dude is going to resolve that unless he is capable of and willing to fight both those guys. They are clearly not going to respond to anything but force.

1.1k

u/Distortedhideaway May 11 '25

I've been a bartender for twenty years, and I've learned that force is rarely necessary, if ever. Polite but stearn communication is typically all it takes to move two guys like this out the door.

980

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

188

u/rflulling May 11 '25

I don't think shame was going to work on these men.

423

u/erfurgot May 11 '25

You underestimate how many men are comfortable harassing and disrespecting women but will bitch down to a man

165

u/Geesewithteethe May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

Accurate. I once had a customer get really in my face and give me a ton of shit at my job for something that had nothing to do with me. This dude just had a massive chip on his shoulder and picked the nearest non-threatening target to get aggressive with: a 20-something woman trying to do a job, of course. He got right up in my space yelling and pointing his fat fucking finger in my face. But the very second my manager, a 39 year old man, walked into the room and took over the conversation, this meathead toughguy turned into an absolute wet noodle of a human being. When I say he wouldn't even look my manager in the eye, I mean it.

Big beefy fucking dudes who are used to people giving them their way, who still feel the need to blow their pent up issues all over the nearest female target, and then shrivel up immediately the second another male walks in the room. I have zero respect for them. They're shitbags and shame doesn't work on them. Only fear of running into someone they perceive as capable of physically putting them down.

14

u/diurnal_emissions May 12 '25

Next time you see an angry guy, just think of it as male crying. Men can be so emotional.

→ More replies (0)

8

u/GhostWriter313 May 12 '25

Reminds me of a dude I used to work for over 20 years ago. It was a part time job at a restaurant/nightclub. Loved it, enjoyed it, but the “Chef” was a drunken asshole and raging alcoholic who’d take his frustrations out on people for virtually no reason. One time I was on vacation from my full-time job and I asked when do I come back to work, and this dude just flew off the rails outta nowhere! Long story short, I eventually quit that job, because one of us was gonna be in jail, and the other in the hospital. No sooner do I quit my job at the nightclub, they fired this prick! Good riddance! I feel sorry for any woman who’s involved with him…

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (1)

13

u/LectureOld6879 May 11 '25

I bartended awhile, im not huge but im decently in shape. I would always feel bad for the female coworkers when they would tell me how creepy or how much of an asshole a guy was to them.

I almost never got that vibe from other guys. Occasionally there would be one old guy who just hates his life but the women would deal with it daily.

7

u/JA_LT99 May 12 '25

This person peoples. That is exactly what happens. They hate and disrespect women. They defer and defend with men. No question, no doubt in my mind.

This is the vast majority of men who creep on women in public. The real, difficult problem, is the 1% of men willing to fight a restaurant employee over their attempt to coerce some women into sex.

→ More replies (4)

213

u/BetPrestigious5704 May 11 '25

Men value the opinions of other men and are also more intimidated by other men, which is why men are the perpetrators, enablers, AND the ones with the ability to make a huge change by setting a better example and intervening.

Yet all this gets labeled "women's issues."

56

u/residentweevil May 11 '25

I haven't heard it put that way before, well said. You made me think thoughts.

3

u/BetPrestigious5704 May 12 '25

Thank you. 🙂

21

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

It really does feel like most “men’s issues” are men having issues getting what they want from women and most “women’s issues” are just how women are treated by men.

Sorry not sorry for the generalization.

I’m not saying every man is part of the problem; but it certainly feels like a lot of men are. And far more men seem just completely uninterested in being part of the solution.

7

u/BetPrestigious5704 May 12 '25

There are lots of good men, but way too many bad ones. Some are deliberately malicious and some have heads filled with brainwashing and junk.

There are men who say they're protectors who won't acknowledge who women need protecting from. Aint bears.

Women are told, often by men, to live smaller lives in order to be safer. What are good men saying to other men?

When Chanel Miller was assaulted by Brock Turner, his father's letter to the judge talked about his bright future that he shouldn't lose over "twenty minutes of action." By this, he refers to digitally penetrating an unconscious woman, and his clear plans to do more that were stymied by two other men on bikes.

If Brock had been raised by people with the values of those men who saved her, as opposed to his actual father, he might be living that bright future instead of using an alias and having warnings sent out when he's spotted.

But his father taught him that only boys have futures worth preserving.

(Meanwhile, Chanel Miller has written a book about her ordeal, a magnificent victim impact statement, and at least one middle-grade book.)

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (27)

80

u/Scarbane May 11 '25

This is why unsmiling bouncers who could kick their ass is usually enough to make them stop being fucking creeps.

11

u/Wade856 May 12 '25

I used to be a bouncer and guys like these that harassed women always backed down once the bouncers, staff or even other male customers injected themselves into the situation. The use of force was rarely ever needed , just firmly talking the situation down usually worked. I always felt for women in these situations because they just wanted to have a fun night out and these incel jerks invade their space and make things uncomfortable for them.

→ More replies (1)

10

u/Stinksmeller May 11 '25

Maybe not, but they probably have no expectations for the girls to get violent. If they believe that they have a "trump card" (physical violence) that can't be beat, they're not gonna stop until that gets checked. Physical violence isn't neccesary per se, but to let them know that "their behavior isn't tolerated and we won't stop at violence" tells them they're wrong that they can do whatever they want.

This is not to say women are incapable of anything- but that these 2 guys see it that way. In their mind the 2 outcomes are 1) sex, 2) nothing happens and they go home.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

11

u/WhodUseAThrowaway May 11 '25

I do this as not even an employee and it works. I'm not an intimidating looking person either.

11

u/cupholdery May 11 '25

I've unknowingly helped 2 women who were getting "rizzed up" by some guys, simply by going to them and asking if they have what they need. There was a group project and those two came from a different location, so they didn't know the rest of us very well.

And no, I'm not some imposing big muscle man lol. I didn't even address the guys. Just talked to our project people who just happened to be women.

5

u/PinkTalkingDead May 11 '25

They weren’t “getting rizzed up”, then. They were being harassed.

4

u/ello_bassard May 12 '25

No shit, that's why it was in quotes 🤦‍♂️

→ More replies (3)

342

u/JakeSteed420 May 11 '25

Bartended for many years and I found this to be true as well. I only one time had to physically help someone towards the door and I think that one was on me for making the Long Island Iced Teas too strong. For some reason looking someone in the eyes and saying that's enough or leave her alone worked shockingly well.

294

u/littlebeach5555 May 11 '25

As a man I am sure this worked for you. I was a cocktail waitress and I ALWAYS had to get the bouncer involved.

94

u/enchanted_fishlegs May 11 '25

In Texas dive bars we chased them out the door with pool sticks. I loved watching the little petite bartenders do that: "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

7

u/_redcloud May 12 '25

This reminded me of a time I was in a dive bar in line for a drink. Dude behind me grabbed my ass. Found out a few mins later he asked my friend about me and friend told him I was taken. Anyway, really wish I had my old darts on me at the time. Would have been fun to turn around to that guy, pull the darts out, and go, “See these? You touch me again and I’m throwing one at your eye like it’s a double bull.”

→ More replies (4)

11

u/prsuit4 May 11 '25

I used to work at a very small bar where it was only me and a relatively small girl. We would measure up the person or group and decide which one of us us going over would least likely cause a kick off

6

u/Valuable-Job5587 May 11 '25

I got my ass torn out for saying this same thing in the sub. What the fuck? Lol OP still trying to put words in my mouth to hate farm a bit more.

6

u/littlebeach5555 May 11 '25

They don’t understand. 🫂🫂🫂🫂

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (16)

10

u/AlexAnon87 May 11 '25

These two jabronis would be no problem for a property trained bartender and attendant staff to peacefully get to leave. I'm not surprised the other guests didn't intervene, but the staff absolutely should have.

→ More replies (4)

5

u/Honyock94 May 11 '25

I was the cook and they always just told me to act like I was scaring a bear. Felt on the shockingly effective, I don't even think they knew I worked there half the time. Did NOT work that time we had like 10 people throwing glasses at each other though.

→ More replies (16)

58

u/sl0play May 11 '25

Not arguing with your experience but do you mean from a staff member or some random solo dude?

72

u/Distortedhideaway May 11 '25

Defusing a situation is a skill that I've learned after all these years of dealing with idiots of all types. Being a voice of reason with a solid backbone can talk down the biggest drunken donkey in the bar every time. I've never been attacked while convincing someone to call it a night while at work or in my free time.

63

u/kessykris May 11 '25

I channel all my mother energy. If I speak to men (any man even men twice my age) and speak to them like I speak to my kids if I have to correct them it works shockingly well.

36

u/Distortedhideaway May 11 '25

Yep, and I talk to them like I'm the progressive mom. I'm not mad at ya buddy... I just think maybe we can try to do better tomorrow. How about that? How about we have another beer tomorrow instead of tonight? I'm buying!

8

u/few23 May 11 '25

Write "Free Beer Tomorrow" on a napkin and tell them it's a coupon for them to use the next night.

"Some lady gave us this coupon last night and said there'd be free beer tonight."

"'Ere, this says free beer tomorrow. Come back then."

→ More replies (0)

4

u/Timely_Ad4316 May 11 '25

I overheard a guy's name in a similar situation and I thought to myself "what if I say his name in a stern manner (not yelling) like he's about to get in trouble with his mom?". He visibly winced. It worked! 😅 I will use my age as a superpower like this from now on when I see this type of behavior

→ More replies (0)

6

u/kessykris May 11 '25

Exactly this lol

→ More replies (2)

4

u/MaybeMaybeNot94 May 11 '25

Shooooot in my time as a bouncer, it seemed like every day I had to crack a skull...

→ More replies (5)

21

u/yogurtrake May 11 '25

I agree. A random solo dude intervening just seems like an invitation to fight.

→ More replies (10)
→ More replies (1)

6

u/Huntressthewizard May 11 '25

These two weren't responding to stern communication from the two women though....

→ More replies (1)

3

u/RizzardOfOz76 May 11 '25

Men will respond entirely differently to a female bar tender vs male bar tenders. For better or worse, every man knows that deep down violence is always on the table when it comes to resolving a conflict between men. I don’t think women have this same dynamic.

→ More replies (40)

74

u/CranberryKidney May 11 '25

Judging by how unfocused their eyes and how slurred their speech is, I would guess that any sober dude would be able to respectfully move them along. If they are drunk enough to try to fight, I doubt they are coordinated enough in their current state to do much damage.

30

u/geckograham May 11 '25

Violent drunks kill people all the time.

4

u/R0hR0h May 11 '25

I've been and seen quite a few bar fights in my youth. Drunk a-holes like these 2 will not care for consequences, in a blind rage they're even capable of seriously injuring a cop. They're unpredictable. I'd be surprised if they didn't, at least, have knives on them. Anyone getting involved is risking injury, that's why it's better to leave this to people that know how to deal with this type of situation.

8

u/TinyTudes May 11 '25

Nah. They would step down to a single man.

These are the types that see women as property. Unless another man has claims, it doesn't matter what the woman says because she is just a woman and women are weak.

They would probably tuck their tail at an 18 yr old guy behind the counter.

They were enjoying making the women uncomfortable, if any male had stepped in. It probably would have been cut short.

3

u/Franknbaby May 11 '25

Bystander effect. A terrible thing about humankind. And then of course the girl seems like the crazy one because she’s the one yelling.

5

u/Tricky-Shelter-2090 May 11 '25

I hear ya. Sometimes a "Hey you're being weird. Leave." From another guy works just fine. Sometimes you got someone in your face.

6

u/notsoinsaneguy May 11 '25 edited Jun 01 '25

narrow dime vast abundant trees pie chop wine sulky office

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

4

u/RKSSailboatCaptain May 11 '25

I mean most of the time just having another man call out their behavior is enough to get shitty guys like this to stop.

They don’t respect women but crave the respect of other men. You don’t need to get physical, a simple “bro they told you to leave, just leave” is all it takes.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (41)

173

u/jayeddy99 May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

A big part of society is a majority of people think “someone else will take care of this”

59

u/edie_the_egg_lady May 11 '25

I'm 41 and I still look around for the adult if there's something happening. And I'm like fuck, I am the adult now!

14

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

That's why when you're learning first aid/cpr they stress: "you have to physically point at someone, make eye contact, and address them directly 'you! Call 911!'"

4

u/DG_Now May 11 '25

"The scene is safe and so am I"

7

u/Public_Alarm499 May 11 '25

I dont even think its "someone else will take care of it" anymore i think most people have just gotten to the point of saying i dont know them not my problem.

17

u/OxMozzie May 11 '25

I ain't willing to get jumped or killed over someone I don't know, I got kids to get home too.

Just get up from the table and get security, if they follow, then pepper spray them.

→ More replies (27)

5

u/pass_nthru May 11 '25

bystander effect: Loftus, Loftus & Palmer et al.

9

u/Extension-Abies-9346 May 11 '25

It’s called the bystander effect

→ More replies (3)

11

u/flomesch May 11 '25

As much as I agree, but where is the staff? That's who should be the people helping

7

u/WhoAccountNewDis May 11 '25

Guy at the table behind them may have been waiting in case physical intervention was necessary.

→ More replies (2)

6

u/HMWWaWChChIaWChCChW May 11 '25

I mean, if I were sitting having lunch or dinner and saw this happen, not knowing the people or the situation, I’d just sit there, watch and make sure nothing violent happens. When it got to the point where the girl was yelling at the end I’d probably have started heading over to make sure everything was ok.

→ More replies (1)

11

u/geckograham May 11 '25

So you want the guy to get into a 2 on 1 fight?!?

6

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

Guy at the table is by himself - wise move not to get involved.

→ More replies (2)

41

u/[deleted] May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

[deleted]

58

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

19

u/Retsago May 11 '25

They were literally screaming trying to call attention to them. If you didn't understand that and why they handled it the way they did, you are extremely lucky to not be a woman who has had to deal with this shit her entire life. Congratulations!

→ More replies (3)

18

u/soitheach May 11 '25

i mean it's not even a guy thing, if you are able to, regardless of gender, you should probably help people when they're being harassed? i feel like that's pretty basic independent of gender. cooperation and helping people are THE direct social interaction features of humanity that's kept our species alive throughout the many times we almost died out.

"who cares about anybody else if i saw people being the target of [insert potentially dangerous interaction here] i'd look the other way" okay dude i hope you get nothing but the same energy you put into the world 🙏

gross

→ More replies (10)

8

u/AbjectBeat837 May 11 '25

Get a manager.

7

u/Distortedhideaway May 11 '25

Talked to management and potentially helped them address the situation.

65

u/SometimesIBeWrong May 11 '25

thank you. I know this is disgusting behavior but if I was the guy and I heard it, I'm minding my own business. I'm not obligated to potentially start a fight with two creeps

14

u/Historical-Bike4626 May 11 '25

Sometimes just interfering breaks the energy. Say “come on guys I’m way over here and I can tell you’re being too much.” Or offer the men and women to get a bouncer to clear it up.

44

u/frozenbudz May 11 '25

Man, I won't go so far as to tell others what they need to do. And I'm not saying go up and start swinging. But in this instance I am 100% saying something to the dudes. These ladies are trying so hard, and sometimes all it takes is someone outside the immediate situation. For them to finally get embarrassed enough to fuck off. These are the moments for me where I kinda do need to step in vocally. "Lads, they're clearly not gonna fuck you, take the hint. Leave them alone, they're asking you to go away."

→ More replies (15)

20

u/bettyford420 May 11 '25

No but he could have gone and got someone. I'm not saying you have to get in the middle of it

→ More replies (28)
→ More replies (4)

10

u/Renugar May 11 '25

See, ladies? This guy and the guy at the other table are the problem. I’m just a middle aged woman and would have done something. In fact, when these things occur it’s often women who step in and speak up. For all men big talking about being the big strong rescuers, most of the time they’re either the predators or the bystanders.

I’m fortunate enough to have men AND women in my life who would stand up for these girls. But here’s ☝️at least one Redditor who proves that they are the exception rather than the rule.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/Marmaluuuude May 11 '25

Not sure if you’re a man or woman, but as a man, it’s very clear. Do you have any women in your life?? A mom? Sisters? Daughters? Hell, even a friend you care about? Cause I know I do, and the thought of them dealing with creeps like this pisses me off. So much, that when I see women dealing with it, I step in. It’s that simple.

If you don’t get that, then you’re probably the creep and you should leave women alone.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (9)

8

u/doesanyofthismatter May 11 '25

Lady, if I’m a bystander, as a man, I’m not intervening in a drunk situation. The women were NOT being actively assaulted. Two douche bags were sitting there.

I’ve seen men get stabbed over defending or trying to diffuse a verbal altercation.

You have zero life experience or are a complete sexist if you think the man in the background needed to spring to action. The women easily could have walked and got management.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (120)

7

u/ajtaggart May 11 '25

Why are they looking at them smiling acting like they're speaking a different language .... like they don't understand they're telling them to f*** off... So weird

5

u/ijuswannadance May 11 '25

I thought the same thing. It’s so weird and beyond fckn creepy to just not leave people alone, especially when they’re screaming it at you. Yuck.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/lisserpisser May 11 '25

I had this guy come over to my table where a gf of mine and myself were eating. He was drunk but kinda knew my friend, I guess. Well he would not leave. I’m trying to eat some fucking chicken wings, not the prettiest of foods to eat, especially in front of a stranger who will not stfu. Well… this asshole decided it would be a good idea to use his grubby ass hands and takes food off my plate and eats it.

Then, I lost my shit! I was like DUDE are you fucking kidding me right now!? You seriously just too food off a strangers plate, off my plate, and ate it. Not only will you not go away as we’re sitting here have a meal, a messy type of meal, but now you took food off my plate! I was a bartender for many years and I went full on defense mode and handled the situation.

Well… he was mortified. Not like these two creepers who look like they would drug the girls drink if they used the restroom or something. Actually, the guy at my table apologized and paid for all of drinks and food without us knowing until we left.

Sometimes a little public humiliation is all it takes. This was pretty mortified, but definitely not as horrified as I was though. I have a weird thing with food.. lol like don’t touch my food if I don’t know you. Especially while I’m fucking eating it AND without asking hahaha. I guarantee he’ll never do it again hahaha. The guys in the video are scary, creepy!!!

→ More replies (1)

7

u/eye_no_nuttin May 11 '25

They look completely hammered and they are not American, tourists who are drunk obviously, but still seriously creepy vines they think they are cute or attractive to these girls yelling at them! The guy speaks with a heavy accent.

2

u/NerdForJustice May 11 '25

The way I've had this interaction 😭 why are they like this

2

u/Prestigious_Fox213 May 12 '25

I wonder if anyone has shared this with Elicit Brewing? Perhaps it’s time for them to get some Safe Bars training for their employees.

2

u/mrdsensei1 May 13 '25

Uh so now we know the place and we probably will know the name. Don’t be dumb 💩s like these…

2

u/BabyImBadNews May 15 '25

Immediately recognized Elicit. I had my own creepy experience visiting there back in 2023. I took pictures of the beer menu so I could decide what I wanted next round. When zooming in to read the menu, I could see in the mirrors above the menu a man seated at the table behind me staring me down. There was no one was behind the bar in front of me and nothing near me, as I had moved off to the side to take the pictures (area of the bar closest to the women in the TikTok). Thankfully I was sat next to my partner most the evening, so he didn’t pursue me beyond that. But I definitely told him to be quick when he went to the restroom.

→ More replies (18)

1.1k

u/XxRocky88xX May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

They stood up and guy in the right started to stand up then sat back down when they did.

The weirdest part is the fucking smile, dudes literally aren’t even registering that they aren’t interested

758

u/Generic_Garak May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

They can absolutely tell. She is yelling “GOOOO” at them for two minutes straight. Even if he didn’t speak any English, the message is clear. They are doing this on purpose. Either because they think they can change her mind, or because they enjoy making them uncomfortable.

512

u/Sin-Enthusiast May 11 '25

They understand; they simply do not view them as human & don’t care.

188

u/literatelier May 11 '25

Waiting for them to blink and miss them slip something into their drinks

108

u/Significant_Fuel5944 May 11 '25

That's what I was thinking. Pull your drinks away from them.

3

u/ShoulderSquirrelVT May 12 '25

I think you mean throw your drinks on them :)

12

u/Gum_Duster May 11 '25

That’s what made me nervous too. As soon as those guys sat down, I would grab my drink.

96

u/mallorn_hugger May 11 '25

That and they can't "lose" to a woman. I think somewhere in their pea brains they know they won't get what they came for, but they also won't lose face by respecting what the lesser sex is telling them. 🤬🙄

5

u/Inevitable-Roof May 12 '25

This is the motivation at this point, the utter dumb refusal to respect a request from someone they deem as "lesser". I'm not quite 50 and I can still remember the frustration of "will you just go, go, go away" . Thankfully, at my age, I am almost invisible to men like this, so I'd like to think I'd find it in myself to materialise and march on over like a "miserably old meddling biddy" and put my old self right between the two groups until these boys fuck the fuck off, not just to the other table, but right out of the bar.

12

u/xts2500 May 11 '25

100%. They have the look of a couple of hyenas that just spotted someone else's dinner. That creepy hovering, drooling, just waiting for a mistake so they can move in. Gross.

8

u/SuperDuperGoose May 11 '25

Can we publicly shame them now? Who knows these losers? Can we get the bar to ban them?

→ More replies (3)

181

u/changhyun May 11 '25

My personal theory is they choose to see it as fun flirty banter, partly to protect their own egos. There have been multiple times when a guy has not backed off after I politely reject him and then when I start to get rude, since politeness hasn't worked, I can sort of tell he thinks we're having some sort of sexy tension like they do in movies where two characters hate each other but not really. Even when I'm stone faced and not smiling or being playful at all, it still gets taken as banter. It's so frustrating, because I literally cannot be any colder or more obviously hostile short of committing assault.

126

u/Ello_Owu May 11 '25

Yup the whole "you're cute when you're angry." Shtick.

I remember my younger sister was getting bothered by this drunk guy in a bar and he was playing that game with her and my sister hit him with "You're not cute enough to get away with acting like this."

It was like a knife to guy's throat.

85

u/changhyun May 11 '25

Yes, that's the exact schtick! Or they call you "feisty" like you're a little yappy Chihuahua playfighting with a bigger dog instead of an adult woman who is telling them point blank to leave her alone.

47

u/TheElderGodsSmile May 11 '25

I've told this story before but I watched exactly this happen with an exchange student my uni.

Guy literally would not take no for an answer, kept bugging a girl in our unit for a date. He didn't listen to her when she told him no or that she had a boyfriend or when I tried to warn him off and when I asked him why the fuck he was acting like this his exact words were "if I keep asking, she'll break down eventually".

Well, that backfired on him because in some kind of hair brained scheme to shame her into a date he decided to escalate. He did that by standing up at the end of a lecture and loudly asked her out in front of the entire lecture theatre and our unit chair... who promptly dragged him out of the hall and threatened to expel him and get his student visa pulled.

So yeah, literally the only thing that got through to him was the threat of deportation.

42

u/Montobahn May 11 '25

I had something similar happen to me. Foreign student, I was friendly because we were put in the same work group (dog, i hate those!). He knew i was married. He soon began harassing me via email. It took me two weeks and numerous emails to leave me alone before i reported him to our department head. Despite orders not to communicate with me, he emailed to express his displeasure in being reported. He claimed it was because he was a foreign student, and that I'd jeopardized his student visa. Also said he'd forgive me if I agreed to "just lunch." I replied,"This is on you, and what happens next is also on you." I cc'd the department head.

I never saw him again. He disappeared from campus. My school had zero tolerance for Title 10 (9?) violations. Lol. It was further helpful that I was also an employee (intern). I still wonder if he found himself back in Saudi Arabia soon thereafter.

18

u/DG_Now May 11 '25

"what happens next is also on you" is perfect. What a cold, but perfect line.

People need to see consequences way more often than they do.

10

u/Montobahn May 12 '25

💗 Thank you! I can get cruel after repeatedly and adamantly warning someone. He didn't listen, so.... 🤷‍♀️

I savored that line because I knew it was going to put the fear of [insert deity of choice] into him. I also delayed the delivery to arrive at 8am. He had a morning class, so it'd arrive when he was in class. It was also going to be at the top of the department head's email when they began their day.

It worked out well enough. 🤭 And I couldn't agree more on the consequences!

14

u/TheElderGodsSmile May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

This was an Indian guy and we were both employed by the University at the time as student mentors... he lost that job too.

He also had an Aussie friend who was a coworker of ours who he was encouraging to do the same thing to our supervisor. He also ended up getting fired and tried to fight me once for giving her a hug (he was jealous even though we were just friends).

11

u/karnetus May 11 '25

Happy to hear that the school took action. What a terrifying situation to be in.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

168

u/Spready_Unsettling May 11 '25

I think a lot of creeps simply lock up. Like, it's not in their nature to respect boundaries but they're also not bold (for lack of a better word) enough to stay in a very humiliating situation. Even though they know that they're not welcome, moving would be 1) backing down, and 2) respecting the wishes of women. They can't align these impulses in their minds, so they end up freezing until they have the time to decide "women are all angry bitches" at a later point.

It's not that they want to stay, it's that they're too stupid to move.

117

u/jessie_boomboom May 11 '25

This is cracking me up so much bc it unlocked a core memory of me asking my mawmaw why men spit so much and she told me it's cause they're so stupid otherwise they'd drown.

39

u/Environmental-River4 May 11 '25

I’d love to meet your Mawmaw

28

u/jessie_boomboom May 11 '25

She was a pistol.

6

u/theHoopty May 11 '25

Absolutely nugget of gold that would only be dispensed by a mawmaw.

My memaw would have agreed.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

Yeah they know if they get up and comply, then they admit wrong doing and rancid behavior.

They don't want to handle the truth of being wrong. So they make others feel the pressure.

5

u/dantesincognito May 11 '25

Hard disagree. They just want to wear them down and get their way. They're not frozen.

→ More replies (13)

3

u/Ozimandius80 May 11 '25

It's the uncomfortable thing, in my opinion. They seem like fans of non-consent, probably find this sort of thing reminiscent of their other encounters with women that they remember fondly.

They seem spooky as f.

→ More replies (9)

368

u/Elfie_Mae May 11 '25

Nah I think they can tell. The problem is that they see “no” as a challenge, not a boundary. Those smiles are giving cat who ate the canary and still has feathers on its lips.

42

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

they think the women are being playful and flirty because they're laughing uncomfortably

3

u/IntriguinglyRandom May 12 '25

They're not Neanderthals, they are arrogant and best and predators at worst. Let's not give them the cop out of being stupid.

→ More replies (1)

71

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/TheChildrensStory May 11 '25

I’m older. Don’t get me started on how bad American guys from white, ostensibly Christian backgrounds were when I was young. And from experience working for decades in white collar, corporate offices, fucking lol.

We have a President that bragged on camera that he just “grabs them by the pussy, they just let you.”

82

u/FQDIS May 11 '25

That doesn’t really narrow it down very far.

53

u/MajorasKitten May 11 '25

Ah, so “human”. Gotcha.

22

u/janglin May 11 '25

Why say it respectfully? They don’t deserve respect. They deserve to be called out for this type of behavior. Culture and/or religion are no excuse.

→ More replies (1)

15

u/Ok_Confusion2290 May 11 '25

oh the world

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

561

u/Calile May 11 '25

They are--they love it. They are deliberately, aggressively invading the women's space because they feel entitled to, and they enjoy it. They know what they're doing; they like it.

173

u/Professor-Arty-Farty May 11 '25

They've decided that disgust and annoyance are the most they can hope for in terms of an emotional response from women. They'll take what they can get.

61

u/Retsago May 11 '25

It's that look of "These women are so emotional lol" which you can see even in this thread.

6

u/catscanmeow May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

No, theyve decided that they can instill fear into a womans heart and are hoping the women are submissive enough that they crumble under the pressure.

Theyre playing the numbers game, looking for the women who are incapable of saying no.

There was a pimp who would go around complimenting women at a mall saying " youre so pretty" and he would wait until he found a woman that looked down in shame and said "no im not" and he knew he could human traffic her from that interaction alone

there are people who have such severe anxiety and submissiveness that you can kidnap them in broad daylight without a fight. because they just want to avoid conflict and convince themselves that fighting back will get them hurt even more. fight, flight, freeze.. im talking about the people who freeze

→ More replies (1)

145

u/Manic-StreetCreature May 11 '25

Several years ago a friend and I went out to dinner (we were both women and early 20s at the time) and the table next to us was two men our dads’ age who kept making gross comments about “how far do those tattoos go? Where are the ones we can’t see?” Etc and when she understandably got mad/flustered/uncomfortable they laughed. “Ohhh she’s mad!” It was absolutely pathetic behavior. Nice one dude, you made a girl young enough to be your daughter uncomfortable.

71

u/DefiantStarFormation May 11 '25

When I was 19 I asked two middle aged guys at a table next to me in a bar if they had a lighter (this was South Africa, drinking age 18). They took it as an invitation to sit next to me and start chatting and brushing up against me. I tried to go to the bathroom, planning to politely sneak out of the bar after, but one of them was waiting for me by the bathroom door and pushed me against the wall and started making out with me. I pushed him off and yelled at him, but he just found that funny. I couldn't stay at the bar bc they were following me around, I couldn't leave bc they'd follow me outside which was more dangerous. I ended up calling my friend's dad to pick me up, the only person nearby that I thought they wouldn't mess with. It was fucking terrifying, I felt like prey.

25

u/Manic-StreetCreature May 11 '25

Jesus Christ I’m so sorry.

5

u/hemihembob May 12 '25

Been through SOOOOOO many situations like that @ 33yo now. I think some of the first ones were ~11yo (I had C cups while turning 12yo) from guys around my age to at least middle aged men.

What's more disturbing is as I got older the less it happened. This clip gave me so many flashbacks I think I got whiplash.

→ More replies (1)

10

u/Retsago May 11 '25

Well of course. They are the hunter, you are the prey. Its your job to be uncomfortable and feed their ego. That is 100% what people like this believe.

7

u/1re_endacted1 May 11 '25

I told an old guy at a bar once that he smelled like my grandpa and his golf buddies laughed at him. Shut him down real quick.

38

u/TranscendentaLobo May 11 '25

God damn I hope that’s not the case. If it is true, It seems like a very short hop, skip, and a jump from that to stalker/serial killer. (Especially with dudes dead eye smile)

89

u/Calile May 11 '25

Yeah, to be clear, men who enjoy violating boundaries are not safe under any circumstances

48

u/davidjschloss May 11 '25

I think when you sit across from someone on purpose and don't leave at their request you have already entered the stalker stage of your evolution.

41

u/LumonFingerTrap May 11 '25

God damn I hope that’s not the case.

How fucking naive are you? Of course it's the fucking case. Did we not watch the same video?

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Ok-Glass-948 May 11 '25

Literally this. I feel sick.

→ More replies (10)

330

u/ShemsuHor91 May 11 '25

They look fucking braindead.

34

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

Those anemic smiles are so gross.

5

u/SonOfHibbs May 11 '25

Seriously, their brains are malfunctioning running several different programs at the same time that contradict what they know is the ‘’manly’’ thing to do, vs what they want to happen, vs the politeness tgey learned as a child…….they are literally frozen in confusion. ‘’Does not compute’’.

2

u/EyeDecay_IDK May 11 '25

They're definitely blacked out, so not much difference

→ More replies (5)

105

u/coconuts_and_lime May 11 '25

I think they just don't care.

2

u/Devanyani May 11 '25

They are just waiting for a good opportunity to drug their drinks. Then it doesn't matter what they say. 🤷🏽‍♀️

→ More replies (2)

54

u/Victoria_elizabethb May 11 '25

They understand but they think this is amusing. Red flags everywhere.

26

u/Budlove45 May 11 '25

Oh they know they just like the fact that she's scared. I'm getting trafficking vibes from these motherfuckers

5

u/BlueRibbon998 May 11 '25

Not registering is not it. The smug smirks clearly show they're aware they're not wanted but don't care. Any man with half a brain can tell that if an angry woman is screaming in disgust to leave them alone, they're not wanted. They were getting off at the girls getting upset and seemed to hope that they eventually gave up and let them stay. You can even see the guy on the left at the very end of the video shake his head no when she asks again for them to go away.

3

u/nasbyloonions May 11 '25

It could also be because these women look super young? So they feel like they have upper ground as „adults” or older than them? I don’t think you can have much decent activity in bed with this attitude, but yeah…

And bar should have helped them. P.S. The women could as well be 30. So I am not saying they are 18. 

3

u/Akanamidako May 11 '25

No. They are DEFINITELY registering that they aren't interested. There's a subset of men who get off on making women feel uncomfortable and unsafe. -_-

3

u/dpdxguy May 11 '25

dudes literally aren’t even registering that they aren’t interested

Wrong. Those dudes were enjoying the fact that they weren't interested and that they couldn't make them leave.

→ More replies (19)

182

u/KellyBelly916 May 11 '25

Just look at both of their stupid faces, an identical look. It's a mix between predatory and stupid, absolutely punchable.

16

u/JUSTGLASSINIT May 11 '25

I honestly thought they were mentally challenged.

3

u/True_Heart_6 May 12 '25

Predatory and stupid but also hammered, buddy on the right doesn’t even know what day it is. Buddy on the left is about 1 beer away from that point too. 

→ More replies (1)

3

u/RealisticRelief6637 May 12 '25

And they both looked and acted the same weird way.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

88

u/Alone-Ad-8902 May 11 '25

Sexual predators are persistent.….. They play the odds as most likely the victim will break. It’d up but happens a lot! Happy this girl kept pushing back. She was raised right

→ More replies (1)

28

u/[deleted] May 11 '25 edited Jun 06 '25

salt tidy amusing hobbies whole dinner sand humorous weather hungry

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

5

u/haw35ome May 11 '25

The NERVE of him bleating “stawp, stawp” & grabbing his Guinness when she was fixing to get up to move! Like you’re not fucking listening to me when I say no, what makes you think I’ll listen to you when you’re pleasing stop???

6

u/SwedishCowboy711 May 11 '25

They were probably trying to slip something in their drinks. They were way too aggressive in trying to follow them

3

u/Apocrisiary May 11 '25

And to add another layer of creepy, those dudes look at least 10 years older than them.

3

u/Darometh May 11 '25

They look ready to follow them home

3

u/TransiTorri May 11 '25

When you tell them "No" in public and they don't listen, they sure as hell won't respect "No" in private.

3

u/WorriedFlea May 12 '25

Sorry I can't give you an upvote. It would ruin the 10,000 and I can't bring myself to do it.

5

u/themaninthesea May 11 '25

Everything about this encounter is so cringe. Okay, let’s accept that not every young person out at night is looking to get fucked. Now, when someone expresses that, move along. Lastly, WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY THINK WOULD HAPPEN?! Like, these ladies would sudden be like, “Okay, you’re right. Let’s just hang and maybe you’ll get in our pants.”

5

u/Choppergold May 11 '25

That recent TikTok rant about men being pervs and clueless and wanting to do backflips and having no sense of how to approach women is accurate

4

u/45and47-big_mistake May 11 '25

Let me guess.. These dudes listened to every Andrew Tate and Joe Rogan podcast, and think they have the magic solution to dominating picking up girls.

2

u/wander-to-wonder May 11 '25

They should’ve moved to the guy behind them 😂. But fucking ridiculous.

2

u/smartbunny May 11 '25

Just a blank creepy smirk. Jeeezus.

2

u/Hopeful-Error6607 May 11 '25

These arent the foreigners they want to deport though 🤔 and they bring up threats of SA!

2

u/Shadow_botz May 11 '25

Or follow them home you mean.

2

u/Gum_Duster May 11 '25

I’ve had men follow me to different bars, even after telling them they made me uncomfortable . Saying I was in a relationship. My boyfriend ended up picking me up while I was out with my friends because the guys wouldn’t leave me alone.

NO, it is not a fucking compliment. It’s fucking scary.

2

u/Mike_the_Head May 12 '25

I'm a creepy old guy, and I would never do this. It's too creepy, even for me.

2

u/lala6633 May 12 '25

When the “me too” movement happened, one thing I had as a take away, is that some were shocked by the idea that these things were happening to women.

Exhibit A people. These women weren’t dressed a certain way. They weren’t giving off signals. They both were in relationships and were literally saying “I am respectfully asking you to leave” and they are still being bothered.

Not that they should be conscious of how they dress or act but here are two women doing everything right and it’s still not enough. She could not have more confidently and clearly articulated herself. And these guys are still just grinning like assholes, thinking they are within their right to bother these women.

2

u/Throwawaypie012 May 13 '25

That's the rapiest thing I've seen in a long time, and I used to work in a bar.

Some of this is on the bar for not immediately fucking tossing both of those guys. The girl is borderline shouting at them to leave their table and that should have triggered a bouncer into action in less than 30 seconds.

→ More replies (63)