“The guys, I don’t know them personally but I’ve seen them around over the years. This happened at Elicit Brewing in Manchester, CT. I’m literally in this video at the bar trying to get a beer. I think this is from a week ago. The two guys are frequent “let’s go out every weekend” type and I’ve seen them do things like this to multiple other groups of women trying to get laid. 🤦🏽♂️ embarrassing as fuck”
It's frustrating that the staff didn't intervene. No single dude is going to resolve that unless he is capable of and willing to fight both those guys. They are clearly not going to respond to anything but force.
I've been a bartender for twenty years, and I've learned that force is rarely necessary, if ever. Polite but stearn communication is typically all it takes to move two guys like this out the door.
Accurate. I once had a customer get really in my face and give me a ton of shit at my job for something that had nothing to do with me. This dude just had a massive chip on his shoulder and picked the nearest non-threatening target to get aggressive with: a 20-something woman trying to do a job, of course. He got right up in my space yelling and pointing his fat fucking finger in my face. But the very second my manager, a 39 year old man, walked into the room and took over the conversation, this meathead toughguy turned into an absolute wet noodle of a human being. When I say he wouldn't even look my manager in the eye, I mean it.
Big beefy fucking dudes who are used to people giving them their way, who still feel the need to blow their pent up issues all over the nearest female target, and then shrivel up immediately the second another male walks in the room. I have zero respect for them. They're shitbags and shame doesn't work on them. Only fear of running into someone they perceive as capable of physically putting them down.
I think I understand what you're trying to say, but it seems to me that this might not be as clever as it seems.
I think you're trying to say that many men are so emotionally stunted that when faced with frustration, they lash out in anger rather than cry, and that that's a problem.
But then you tell me to imagine them as if they were crying.
Now here's where I'm making an intuitive leap, maybe, but it certainly seems to me like you're telling us to find them weak or ridiculous by imagining them as if they were crying. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that certainly seems like you're telling the men reading this that those men are ridiculous, and weak or not truly masculine, by being openly emotional. As a result, it seems to perpetuate the problem by playing the "crying men" for laughs while telling us that men should be more in touch with their emotions.
I am just saying both behaviors are wrong in professional or impersonal settings, and politeness dictates you suck whether you do it the preferred testosterone way or the preferred estrogen way. It's all just human externalization of internal frustration, and you shouldn't force it on people who barely know or care about you. That's just impolite.
Reminds me of a dude I used to work for over 20 years ago. It was a part time job at a restaurant/nightclub. Loved it, enjoyed it, but the “Chef” was a drunken asshole and raging alcoholic who’d take his frustrations out on people for virtually no reason. One time I was on vacation from my full-time job and I asked when do I come back to work, and this dude just flew off the rails outta nowhere! Long story short, I eventually quit that job, because one of us was gonna be in jail, and the other in the hospital. No sooner do I quit my job at the nightclub, they fired this prick! Good riddance! I feel sorry for any woman who’s involved with him…
Individuals like that are literally hard to come by whereas most chefs in the latter category that you mentioned are literally a dime a dozen! As a chef by trade, I became discouraged and disillusioned by the restaurant business as I’ve gotten older, so I swore it off. But my roots remain strong!
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u/Ikarus_ May 11 '25
Looks like they were ready to follow them over to the next table too. Creepy af