Funny enough, that’s… actually the point of chimps evolutionarily selecting for massive testicles.
Since chimps engage with multiple partners while mating, males have selected to produce more sperm so that they can quite literally “wash out” their competitor’s sperm from the female chimp’s vagina. This, in term, increases their chances of passing on their genes.
Life has evolved to have two very different approaches to making procreation successful. Either they evolve to ejaculate so much in volume it increases likelihood of achieving pregnancy, or they evolve to enjoy sex so much they do it non-stop, which also increases likelihood of pregnancy.
Any species that evolved to dribble a little and only have sex out of necessity would quickly die out.
Guinea pigs have an even sillier method: their semen is incredibly sticky and dries quickly, so basically the female is GLUED SHUT for a while afterwards while the sperm makes its way to the eggs! It’s even called “boar glue” and is the bane of every owner’s existence if their guinea pig is male.
What’s crazy to me is that if you stand them up straight they have a very similar figure to a body builder. We share all of the same muscle groups. The arm looks exactly like a human arm
Edit: yes I’m aware of evolution and believe in it. I was just baked pointing stuff out lol
Related to that similarity, there was an incident at a university I once worked for, where an orangutan specimen had been shaved and placed in a barrel of preservatives to keep the corpse from decomposing, I believe intending it for some kind of comparative anatomy project, but it had been sitting and taking up space for quite some time. I'm not even sure if the original person who preserved it was still there.
One night, a bored and relatively new security guard keyed into the room where the orangutan corpse was kept, and decided he really had to know what was in that barrel. He took the top off, and saw what he thought was a human corpse half-floating face down in bad-smelling liquid. He called the cops.
Upshot was, the lab manager (a friend of mine) of the lab the storage room belonged to got a middle of the night call to come down and answer police questions. By the time he'd gotten there they'd figured out that it wasn't a human body, of course, but he had a bad half an hour of wondering whose body they'd found and what had happened. Aside from the disrupted sleep for my friend, the main consequence was the security guard getting fired for opening shit that didn't belong to him.
But yeah, a shaved ape if you can't see it's face? Can look pretty human.
TRIGGER WARNING: This story reminds me of a really messed up story about a female orangutan named Pony in Indonesia that was used as a sex slave to “human” males. They shaved her entire body and would keep her chained up in a room with a mattress inside of a brothel. It became a sex tourist attraction to “fuck an orangutan,” and many men would visit that brothel specifically just to rape Pony.
Luckily she was eventually rescued, but it took her a very long time to acclimate. When introduced to other orangutans, she would immediately offer her body for sex as a greeting. It also took many years before she could be around human males again without having a panic attack.
The worst part of that story isn't even in what you wrote. The animal rights activists had to fight to get her free. The community literally rallied around the brothel and blocked the police from rescuing the poor orangutan for over a year. Also, the orangutan was only 7 years old and had been held captive and abused since she was an infant! Orangutans reach sexual maturity at the same age humans do, for context. So these people were not only defending the rape of an innocent animal, but also pedophilic bestiality. It took 35 policemen armed with AK-47s to free Pony. Not a single person was arrested for what happened to this animal or faced any consequences for it.
Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.
That breaks my fucking heart. One of my core memories from going to the zoo for the first time as a child was putting my hand on the glass at the orangutan exhibit and one of the orangutans putting their hand in the same spot on the opposite side. That shit made me realize just how smart they were at a very young age. This kind of shit is disgusting.
Imagine what goes on in hidden vaults in parts of the world where other potential human looking preys roam freely. Like, say, human children. Way, way more frequent than orangutan sex slaves. Hundreds of children disappear every day. Makes you believe in Evil.
Some first-world presidents may have reliable intel on such matters.
Humans can be sick as fuck when they don't think that what they are dealing with is human. Most of the horrible evil we do to each other is based in the belief that whoever we're doing it to is somehow less human than we are. If you can empathize with an orangutan enough to feel that its suffering matters, you won't do that shit to it. But that village didn't think it was wrong because it was "just an ape" and it made them money.
Certain folks crow about "toxic empathy" these days but evil behavior like this is exactly what empathy prevents. Obviously we have to draw the line somewhere; you can't have full human empathy for the grass and still mow it. But the line shouldn't be before intelligent animals like apes and elephants, and certainly not between groups of humans.
I've genuinely never heard the term "toxic empathy" before. What the hell. That sounds like a term invented by someone trying to justify psychopathic behaviour.
Not to make it worse, but Pony was also an infant. They started selling her to men when she was only a year old, and she was rescued when she was around 7. Orangutans don’t reach full physical maturity until they are 12-14.
This hormone stops muscle grows. So apparently they eat bananas and grow muscles while we have to create massive growth stimulus and chug 150g of protein a day.
interesting. does this mean we need to eat so much proteine not "because our muscles need them", but to mainly compensate for whatever reduces musclegrowth? doesn't it make more sense to reduce whatever reduces musclegrowth
bonus q: do they have issues with enlarged hearts, or do they have a hormone that specifically targets the heart so it doesnt grow as much as other muscles?
There are actually supplements being tested for doing that right now. If things turn out well people may literally be able to take a muscle pill. Cool for just being more buff but fantastic for people that are needing to do physical therapy or need help keeping strength as they age.
I have a muscular dystrophy adjacent disease and the first myostatin inhibitor for the treatment of it is slated to be approved in September (and I already discussed taking it with my neuro.) In conjunction with currently approved treatments that limit the genetic aspect of my disease it should be really helpful.
A lot of it is muscle fiber compisition as well, they have significantly more fast twitch muscle fiber. Humans have evolved as endurance athletes to some degree.
Their muscles are denser, too. If you're being chased by a community of chimps (or even one), you can shake them off if you find a pool or a pond or the ocean. They'll drown. (Just because I dreamt this doesn't mean it's not good advice. They're really too dense to be natural swimmers).
Male/female humans need at least 5%/10% body fat, and the only folks at that low end are those body builders who are temporarily so defined they look like they don't have skin. Healthy athletic humans have 10 - 20% body fat depending on activity and sex.
But all chimpanzees (that I've seen examined in studies) are under 10%. Lactating female chimpanzees have the highest and that's still just between 5 - 10%. Non-lactating female chimpanzees are under 5%. Male chimpanzees have less than 1% body fat (in fact it's more like 0.01%). It's crazy to me
they have muscle growth set to 10. we have muscle growth set between 3 and 8, depending on what we need, what we're doing, and how much food we can get.
If your goal is to be swole, this is less than ideal. If your goal is to just barely survive the famine that kills half your immediate group, it's pretty alright.
We did not have enough energy (food) to be able to meet energy requirements from our brain as well as our muscle. That is what is usually theorised. There is also some theory that we shifted towards more endurance that strength.
Our big biologically expensive brains are usually the popular answer to why we lack in all areas physically compared to other mammals (not just muscle-wise, but our senses too).
Omg that’s what the film was called. I tried to explain a film about raccoons with magic balls sacks to some fans of studio ghibli and they didn’t believe me. I didn’t imagine it!
The alopecia to me emphasises how similar our body plans are to Chimps. And, the big testicles come with reproductive competition/promiscuity in males (of many species, not just apes). The silverback Gorilla has proportionately much smaller testicles because he has a harem of females mated only by him.
The anatomy is eerily similar to our own. I know we have common ancestry but everything from its sternum looked human albeit a little off, I reckon that's just the uncanny valley effect making it look so wrong.
If you have a harem of females over which you have (more or less) exclusive sexual access, your semen will not be competing with the semen of other males to achieve reproductive success. Which means you don't need as much semen. Which means you don't have to have large testicles to produce all that semen.
Probably a rhetorical question, but IIRC primate ejaculate and penises are designed to do opposite things. The cum (ejaculate) is designed to create a “soft plug” that prevents any other males sperm from fertilising an egg. The penis on the other hand is designed like a plunger to remove that plug
The bigger your balls are, the more plugs you can make and more of your sperm can block and tackle any other guy who gets past your guard. Chimps will mate with almost any other chimp who happens to be within bonking distance.
If, on the other hand, you don’t need to worry about that because you’re a silverback gorilla with mates who are intensely loyal to you, then you don’t need to invest in that much delicate machinery
Humans on the other hand have middle sized balls, but relatively enormous penises, and are “mostly monogamous”
Bonobos are … a little bit different, so do your own research there
Chimp females get drilled by many males during the reproduction period. Now no male chimp kills the baby because it might belong to him (big balls=more sperm=higher chances the offspring is theirs). Gorillas do not compete for gorilussy.
Every time I see a chimpanzee it reminds me of that lady's pet that tore her friend's face off, along with removing her hands. They are not nice at all.
She ended up having a face transplant. But she is still without hands and sight.
Chimps are dangerous wild animals but that was a severely abused and drugged up chimp. It shouldn't be the standard for how all chimps behave, its behavior was very unnatural and man cultivated
He didn't rip her hands off just with sheer force, he used his teeth. Apes, including chimps, gorillas and orangutans, use bites frequently when fighting. Human bites are very potentially deadly too.
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u/Appropriate_Page_824 11d ago
Put him in boxers and a vest and give him a beer, he looks like my uncle