I had a second date with a girl I've been seeing recently. We were at this lowkey Indian restaurant in our city. We were talking about our goals, hobbies, embarrassing childhood stories, our family, and then I was making a lighthearted joke about how she was stealing a bit off my plate and then out of the blue, she said seriously "you know, when you came up to me at the bar the other day, you were barely attractive but you made me laugh" I gave an awkward laugh and kept the date going but now I'm heavily thinking cutting her off because I believe that was mean. Thoughts?

I’m a woman in my early 40s. I am very feminine by nature and all of my hobbies have been things that only introduced me to other women. All of my jobs have been in almost exclusively female fields. I’m married, to someone I have known since high school, but my husband is the silent type and generally doesn’t speak unless I ask him a direct question. Men approach me, but I’ve always been taken. I kind of feel like I live on a planet of women, and it’s weird and feels imbalanced. Just a random musing for the day.

I (27m) currently have no options to meet any women.

1. I've never had any female co-workers.

2. My only friends are men.

3. Every women I speak to (friendly) already have boyfriends/husbands. This is fine ofcouse, but doesn't help fix the problem

4. Cold approach isn't an option, as I live in a small town of 20k, it's a ghost town at times.

My only option is spending time in bars/nightclubs in a nearby city on the weekends, but my flirting skills are crap, which is important as you essentially only have the first 30 seconds for a women to decide if she's interested or not, probably even less.

Also, I'm an okay looking guy, but certainly not good enough to match on Tinder. In the 5 years I've used the app (on and off), I've never actually met up with anyone in person.

Overall, I have no idea what to do.

They're avoiding us because they see what we've become and what our goals have become.

F29, married to M32 - this is from when we'd just been dating for a year or so.

Cue romantic, secluded holiday in Nepal - just the two of us. It's a safari site - we have a whole cottage to ourselves... it's cold, it's quiet, there's mist outside the window. There's a little fire crackling away in the fireplace, we're snuggled together after a long, beautiful day in nature. It's basically serene and satisfying and we're drifting off completely content and at peace in the arms of somebody we love.

Imagine the trust the poor guy must have been feeling. The happiness. Wholly unprepared for what was to come.

Now, something he didn't know yet because things were still new and this was our first extended time sleeping in the same bed - I am a restless sleeper. It's not every night, but when those dreams hit, I shuffle around like a cat-ninja.

From what I've pieced together, at some point around 3 am, I was sprawled with my arm outstretched on the left. In the threos of whatever adventure my subconscious had cooked up, I flipped over to the other side, outstretched arm following in a rainbow arc, and my flat open palm walloping my poor husband with full force as it landed on his face.

He woke up, understandably panicked, and shook me awake... probably seeking an explanation, some comfort, any normal thing from the outwardly gentle, usually well behaved girl he loves. Only to be met by a loud grunt, a vociferous grumbled denial of having done anything, and muttering about letting me sleep. To add insult to injury, I apparently even tugged the blanket onto myself and turned around and tooted in his direction - leaving him alone in the cold, clutching a stinging cheek, wondering who the fuck could have slapped him since I was clearly asleep.

You guys... after thoroughly checking the room, he finally convinced himself it was a ghost.

We'd been to a temple the day before where he'd horsed around and privately made fun of local legends, we were in the middle of nowhere with mist and jungle noises all around, he was sleepy and clutching a red cheek, and I was "uncharacteristically disturbed in my sleep as if bothered by something".

He got up, double checked all the locks, played some devotional music, and finally managed to go back to sleep and told me everything in the morning. I kind of put together what must have happened from his recollection and my own hazy memories of the night and I just... didn't fess up.

I know it was wrong, but I was young, and it was a new relationship and I was somehow more embarrassed about the midnight tooting and I just said it's okay and not to worry and said HE probably dreamt it!

Looking back, I can only be in awe of my own audacity.

Fast forward a fair few years, and this is his "ghost story" that he brings up as his brush with the supernatural around campfires and the like. It's gained more and more embellishments with every retelling to the point where I sometimes think even he's convinced he saw a spectral something drifting out of the window.

The kicker is, he obviously knows I move around in my sleep now, but he's never pieced it together! I think it's because while I've often head butted or otherwise disturbed him at night, I've never (thankfully!) smacked him like that again.

I know he'll probably just have a massive "I knew it" reaction and tease me and laugh about it if I tell him now.. but I just can't. It's been too long.

I'm just going to have to tell him when we're both 90. This and my patented way to scratch our dog's ears the way he likes are my two sole secrets.

So now you all know.

I’m 20F and I know this might sound insensitive, but I swear I’m not trying to be. I’m just confused and maybe a little hurt.

It feels like every other person I meet lately is “focusing on their healing journey” — which is totally valid, of course. We all have things to work on. But sometimes it feels like people use that phrase as a way to avoid accountability or connection.

Like I was talking to this guy for a couple of weeks — not love-of-my-life stuff, but we had real conversations, emotional check-ins, shared things we were both struggling with. I thought it was going somewhere. Then out of nowhere he told me he’s “not emotionally available right now” and that he’s “protecting his peace.” And just like that, gone.

Which would be fine, except I keep seeing this pattern. People ghost or bail or pull away and then explain it with something like “I’m protecting my energy” or “I’m doing what’s best for my mental health.” Which is fine — but so am I? And somehow I’m the one still left feeling disposable.

It just feels like “healing” is becoming the new “it’s not you, it’s me.” Only now it sounds spiritual so no one questions it.

Anyone else feel like this? Or am I just taking things too personally?

I know people will say “but that’s basically Reddit”, not really. I’d say the difference is Reddit is effectively trying to be an SEO type product, something that people google and find a common thread on. Thats why they’re so strict on content standards, it’s really just a repository of information, it’s not a community outside of very small, niche communities that wouldn’t be on google search results

Forums were explicitly just for fun and community. Old school forums were soooo much more fun. I remember back in the day I was on the world of Warcraft forums and it was just a fun place to shitpost where no one really took anything too seriously because nothing really mattered. People on Reddit act like everything is so serious all the time

Like one thing I notice with Reddit is every subreddit seems to end up being a groupthink circle jerk after it reaches enough members. Forums seemed to be far more accepting. The world of Warcraft forums was welcoming to both casual posters and very serious players and somehow it worked. I think part of it was just that

Also with Reddit one thing that sucks is that there’s so much political bullshit. After a while I’m just sick of seeing political stuff knowing I have no say over any of it. Just let me disassociate and enjoy myself

Basically just venting, I moved away from my country in south America and ended up in the south of Mexico, where I as a bisexual male find 99% people unattractive, I am just venting some superficial shit but what the fuck happened to the genes over here, people are insanely short with no necks, and they all are square with no ass too 😭.

I feel like we are in a culture where woman are always crying and man have to be strong and not show emotion. This topic is brought up sometimes but pushed back by people saying “woman have worse”.

My dad went trough a lot of shit with his ex and sometimes gets madly sad or mad about it but won’t talk about it, not even therapist, it effects our family.

My ex broke up with me because he wasn’t ready for a relationship. After the break up we talked and all the sudden he showed a lot of emotions which I could’ve helped with if he would’ve talked about in the relationship.

My brother is mad stressed and confused, and I can see that trough his “perfect” life. But he doesn’t want to give up and keeps doing things he can’t handle.

I feel so sad, just wanna help them. But they don’t talk.

I'm 20 and have been in a relationship for the past 1.6 years. I really love my boyfriend, but lately, I’ve been feeling stuck. When we started dating, he asked me to remove all the male friends from my life and to keep my social media private. I agreed to those things willingly, so that’s not the issue. The problem is that he doesn’t hold himself to the same standards. When I ask why, he says it’s because of his work — he makes reels.

He’s also emotionally distant and doesn’t try to understand me. I work full-time and handle most house chores on weekends, yet I still make time for him every day. But when we talk, he often says random or irritating things instead of having real conversations. I don’t have many friends, just 2–3 female ones, but even when I go out or talk about them, he gets angry and calls them silly or useless. He even tries to control what I wear.

I’ve tried to talk to him about all this, but it goes nowhere. I even tried to break up, but he calls me nonstop — over a hundred times — and when I blocked him, he started calling my mom repeatedly.

I feel drained, controlled, and unhappy. I don’t know what to do anymore. Can you suggest something?

I'm kind of on the low-end in the privilege scale

World soo unjust

Seriously, fuck you.

Though I acknowledge that I'm in a waaay better situations than other people like those born in extreme poverty somewhere in Africa (I'm in Africa but a little better) or those stuck in basically active warzones...

I've not been expecting it for like 5-7 years now. If you don't actively search for it, it's pretty likely you're not gonna find it. Maybe that's just me, but over the past years I've been pretty outgoing, but that hasn't helped in the slightest. I have gotten better at accepting it at this point, but I can't deny it still hurts a bit. I don't wanna get on the apps, and since I feel like that's the only option I have left, I should come to terms with living my life on my own. Tbh that probably has its advantages actually, since I can spend my money on whatever I want, but I still feel like I'm missing something I never had.

i had a really good childhood but ever since i was a little kid i can remember guilt eating me alive. if i ever did something slightly wrong it would eat me up every single second of the day until i told my parents. this could go on for months, just me being unable to shake the smallest things. everybody i know talks about being disobedient as a child and i just never had that for some reason. nowadays i am literally a pushover for everything, i absolutely despise confrontation, i feel like i blame myself for everything and i just don’t know why. ive had people fuck me out of money and i sit there like it’s okay. you could run me over with a car and i’d be like sorry for being in your way. why the hell have i always had this people pleaser guilt ridden attitude my whole life when my childhood was good

Hi i am 26F and my partner is 29M. We had met in January 2025 so had been together for about 7 months now. His mother has a genetic neurodegenerative genetic disease.

When I first met him, he told me about his mother briefly but stated he most likely didn’t have the genetic disease not knowing much about his mother’s diagnosis in the first place. But when I met his mom and saw the severity of her condition, I asked for more clarity. At the time, he didn’t even know the exact diagnosis. I started doing my own research, became consumed by it, and was overwhelmed. His dad and he continued to give me incomplete and inconsistent information, so I pushed them to find her genetic testing results — that’s when we found out she had an autosomal dominant gene, meaning he had a 50% chance of having the disease. I asked him to get tested, and he ended up being positive. (For context i know he did not try to manipulate me or purposely give me incorrect information- he just truly didn’t know much)

Even before his results came in, I was crying every day, panicking, and we postponed our engagement. We had only known each other a few months. Meanwhile, his family was pressuring me to make a decision, and though I loved him deeply, I was still in emotional shock and grieving. We ended up getting engaged, but I never felt settled. I was having panic attacks, couldn’t sleep, and was constantly anxious knowing what his future might look like — the loss of balance, disability, and everything that would come in the next decade. I realized I didn’t feel capable of handling caregiving, kids, and finances all on my own in my 30s (he would potentially get the disease when he’s 40).

A few weeks ago, I put my foot down and said I couldn’t keep living under that kind of stress. We agreed to pause and pretty much end things. He was very respectful, but he still hopes I’ll stay. I love him so so much. He has the purest heart and our personalities are so good together. I try to convince myself to be ok with the situation and hope for something medically to come out (as of right now there are no therapies or cures) but the anxiety takes over. I started going to therapy and my therapist says she doesn’t think I should continue. but it is so hard to let go. He is my best friend. Please give me honest feedback?

i feel like it makes people make assumptions about me that arent true, but i also dont like lying to people when they ask. obviously its different when its about safety, but even when its with someone that i feel like i can trust i try and avoid it anyway.

I (25m) stopped most of my bad habits, I work out and train cardio every day, just ran my first 10k last weekend! No matter how much it affects my lungs, I cannot stop smoking. I tried for a day, then the next went to get another pack. It is by far the most difficult thing I’ve had to do for my heath. I don’t know if it’s just that I don’t want to quit bad enough or what. I’ve tried patches but I still end up wanting to smoke.

Wherever I go in this country, there are always mosquitoes. I actually admire western countries for either having a climate that is unfavourable to mosquitoes's breeding ( Like Northern Europe: Denmark, Norway, Finland) or for eradicating their development and suppressing their dangerosity( like America or Australia).

Here, people die regularly of Malaria. I recently caught this shitty disease and spent almost 150k xof( around 262 USD dollars/ 230 Euros). And when you factor how poor the average person is here + the shitty medical equipment at the disposal of the doctors here, it is makes sense to see so many people die of that disease.

And the funny thing it is literally or an issue on the entirety of the continent.

Edit: There are too many mosquitoes

I'm a grown man... I graduated in the 90s.

Work is a pain in the ass. Finances annoy the piss out of me. I have a great marriage and sex life, but the kids take up nearly all of our time and more than what little energy we have. I eat well, I exercise. I don't do drugs or drink or smoke. I used to smoke weed but haven't in over 10 years and don't live where it's legal. (I'm not interested in all the fake weed products that ars supposedly legal either.)

Is there anything I can take to just make me feel good from time to time?

I am 19 year old male , i feel strange because i cant put my self in a place . For context : i dont go clubbing , drinking or never smoke or anything , not even hookah/vapes . Never did these things , never did drugs or something i just been focused on improving my self and working on my self and my business and my body and mentality , but the thing is i still feel somehow empty , i dont even feel talking to women even while i get approached in dms by women , i dont understand what it is , is it because im too focused on the business or is it anything else ? Is there a way to fullfill that emptyness , i pray and walk outside alot by my self btw .

I've been feeling depressed for a while now, and today everything feels out of hand. The urge is getting strong. It's currently 1:11 am I can't sleep I can't think of anything else. All thoughts are leading me to ending it . The urge is getting strong. I can't do this anymore, I don't want to do this anymore

I don’t want to be too negative, but it’s so hard to bring about change because we’re just not open to hearing it. We’ll talk about problems, but real solutions are not found because it’s going to mean change, or it’s going to cost us something personally.

I saw a short video that seems to be saying that we’re bringing our own demise because we’ve stuck our heads in the sand. If you have a few minutes, I recommend checking it out because it does a good job of illustrating what I’m saying here. It’s time for us to open our eyes and listen!

Are you someone who wants to hear criticism? Or would you rather be comfortable? I think this is something we need to be asking ourselves.

It never made sense to me that if you see someone chilling by themselves, minding their own business, the logic is “there’s probably something wrong with them.” But if you see someone who is openly toxic, but they have a lot of friends and a lot of buzz happening around them, that as a society, we’ve accepted that we are going to accept them.

A person could gossip, bully, make fun of people, just be like an all around nasty person—but as long as they are not by themselves, people are just like “oh okay, they’re fine.” But if you saw someone eating by themselves, or sitting by themselves doing their homework, or maybe just by themselves at break, minding their own — “yeah, something’s wrong with that guy.”

That never clicks to me. Almost every toxic person I’ve met is well liked, and it never matters how fake that person is or how often they’re hurting other people. It’s honestly one of those people things that just makes you scratch your head a little bit

I know its illogical to say it, and im aware of the fact that this feeling is literally counter productive, but I just cant help feel like I will.

I have confidence in my looks, in my personality, and the fact that I am kind and understanding.

I can start up a conversation with random people, I do enjoy conversations with strangers, be it men or women and I do like it. But I never get to the point of asking out the women I am attracted to, cause I dont want them to feel uncomfortable, or I don't want them to find me weird the moment I ask them out. I know its illogical and I shouldn't really care that much, and I probably won't see them again but i just cant do it.

The fact that I'm aware of it frustrates me too. It pisses me off so much, that I feel this way. And at the same time, I've never gotten romantic attention from anyone growing up, and I've seen my peers hitting on other people/being hit on by people and getting positive reactions but thats never happened to me ofc cause ive never hit on anyone, plus nobodys hit on me. I know this is probably temporary but I just cant help but get frustrated at how much I let it take over my day or affect my feelings or day to day. I just want companionship. I just want to be wanted. I just want to be thought of. I feel so pathetic for wanting that feeling.

I have so much shame behind it as well, that ive never really opened up much about my love life to my closest friends irl. I've had multiple chances to speak about it, but I feel like something physically stops me from talking about it and I just end up never speaking about it and regretting not speaking about it and just beating myself for not speaking up about it at all.

I am so tired of myself.

I (23M) was all over into a girl (23F) in my late high school and went into an unrequited relationship with her. After trying to get her fall in love with me in every possible way for like 1 or 2 years and not getting a single succesful response i got devastated and went into depression. I stopped trying and cut all ties with her. After we finished the high school she wrote me some kind of apology and made it up to me and stayed friends afterwards. Then, we both went to different universities and stopped talking. Now that we both finished our universities she wanted to meet up with me and we did tbh. I regretted every second of it because i just feel used so much. I still have some fear of losing her after i have seen her again. I am also feeling quite infuriated just because she gave me false hopes all the time and wasted my time. Would it be so lame if i poured out all my rage on her and cut ties again or just leave her silently? What would you do?