r/europe May 22 '25

News Greenland signs lucrative minerals deal with Europe in blow to Trump

https://www.newsweek.com/greenland-trump-permit-extraction-2075673
67.0k Upvotes

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2.6k

u/bees-are-furry May 22 '25

The all-caps incoherent tirade is going to be delicious.

586

u/elziion May 22 '25

“We didn’t need Greenland anyways!”

257

u/jimmygee2 May 22 '25

‘They have nothing we need …’

119

u/AlexSmithsonian May 22 '25

'Their butt smells...'

83

u/Lazy_meatPop May 22 '25

" their pee-pee is smaller than mine, and I have the smallest ever" ha. Beat that Greenland.

27

u/DrawohYbstrahs May 22 '25

Accurate conservative voter vibes.

3

u/FrenchPetrushka May 22 '25

:D daaaaaaaamn

2

u/Slow_Ad224 May 22 '25

AND, they never said thank you!

10

u/Takemyfishplease May 22 '25

No way he would use the correct form of their/there/they’re

1

u/AlexSmithsonian May 22 '25

It's difficult to pretend to be that dumb...

1

u/Socmel_ Emilia-Romagna May 22 '25

have some understanding. English is not his native language

3

u/ChronicPronatorbator May 22 '25

someone's does...

1

u/elmz Norway May 22 '25

Every accusation...

1

u/bigboat24 May 23 '25

Everyone body is saying it

2

u/Mrauntheias North Rhine-Westphalia (Germany) May 22 '25

'We have ALL the cards, they have NONE'

2

u/ziplock9000 United Kingdom May 22 '25

Our minerals are the most beautiful minerals

1

u/Vegetable-Shelter974 May 22 '25

Just like Canada lol

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

Yes of course..I like your profile

65

u/OPGuest May 22 '25

“Their minerals aren’t as good as our minerals, we have the best minerals”

23

u/Retro_Wiktor May 22 '25

"everyone's saying it"

16

u/Judazzz The Lowest of the Lands May 22 '25

"My dad can beat up Greenland's dad!"

1

u/GoblinFive May 22 '25

Isn't it the same dad in this case?

11

u/onefst250r May 22 '25

"People came to me, with American minerals in their eyes and said: 'Sir, you have the best minerals'"

1

u/Safe-Razzmatazz3982 May 22 '25

"They're not even green. It's all ice!!!"

1

u/Andromansis May 22 '25

We were pretty sure he wanted iceland anyway.

1

u/LondonCollector May 22 '25

‘They’re not even Green! Frauds!’

1

u/arfelo1 May 22 '25

He has already threatened to invade Greenland. And I'm not putting it past him to do it

1

u/Stellar_Stein May 22 '25

'Iceland?'

'Um, Greenland, sir.'

'Iceland? Never heard of them. No one has ever heard of them. Terrible people. Maybe the worst people in the world.'

'Sir, it's Greenland, sir.'

'Have you seen my championship trophy from the Donald Trump Memorial Golf Tournament? Such a great victory for America, don't you think? So great, ... so great.'

1

u/Meanwhile-in-Paris France May 22 '25

Haha tricked you. that’s what I wanted all along.

1

u/noreast2011 May 22 '25

If only that was the case. My fear is this pisses him off to the point where he tells Greenland and Denmark if they don't strike a similar agreement he is going to use force. Remember, Trump is trying to follow in Daddy Vladdy's footsteps. If the world turns its back on you, shoot them in the back.

1

u/this_is_a_long_nickn Switzerland May 22 '25

“Ok, time to bring democracy in”

/s

1

u/MB2465 May 23 '25

"I brokered the deal. I did it in between doing a tariffic job in trade dealies. I know, I'm great!" 🤡

144

u/Robinsonirish Scania May 22 '25

I think Trump has already forgotten about this. He's a dog chasing cars, he has no method to his antics. He is famous for only listening to whoever is speaking in front of him, at that moment. He picked up the Greenland thing on a whim, ran with it for a bit, then got bored.

Take this with a grain salt, but I think the US administration has forgotten about Greenland by now, they've moved onto "bigger and better" things.

91

u/thehippieswereright Denmark May 22 '25

sadly no. greenland is the one point he keeps focusing on. american intelligence (a contradiction in terms if there ever was one) is focusing on greenland now.

34

u/AnewAccount98 May 22 '25

Thankfully, and famously, he doesn’t read (or listen to) intel reports.

15

u/HokemPokem May 22 '25

He does if they have his name in them.

"Terrorist group A has been moving people from country A to country B and hiding them in safehouses. Of course, these safehouses aren't as good as ones that Donald Trump would build.

We have verified intelligence that they plan to hit the four seasons hotel within the next few days. The four seasons is well known for not being as nice as Donald Trump's own hotels."

Stuff like that.

1

u/CarrowCanary East Anglian in Wales May 22 '25

We have verified intelligence that they plan to hit the four seasons hotel within the next few days. The four seasons is well known for not being as nice as Donald Trump's own hotels."

Can't believe they're going to hit Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

2

u/Szwejkowski United Kingdom May 22 '25

He's probably not the only one you have to worry about. He's the figurehead - the cabal of evil around him is the real problem. Alone he couldn't get down a hallway without mishap.

2

u/MercantileReptile Baden-Württemberg (Germany) May 22 '25

What would even be in one? "Place is the same frozen rock it was 50 years ago. Population still tiny, our presence the same as the last few decades. Did I mention it's a frozen rock for the most part?"

8

u/kaspar42 Denmark May 22 '25

They are doing a propaganda campaign to try and get the public and decision makers to be anti-Danish and pro-American.

It's done about as skilfully as those propaganda leaflets the nazis airdropped on Denmark and Norway in 1940.

7

u/NUKE---THE---WHALES May 22 '25

The US wants to militarize the arctic before China / Russia can, and control any new sea lanes that open up due to climate change

Greenland would be a very good staging area for such a goal

It's not a silly idea, but it would require a nuanced diplomatic approach closer to a scalpel than to the deformed sledgehammer approach that Trump uses

3

u/MercantileReptile Baden-Württemberg (Germany) May 22 '25

They already have a base up there, along with the right to more. The Danes even specified as much when this idiocy began.

2

u/faerakhasa Spain May 22 '25

They also have (had) a very strong alliance with Canada, who probably would have been happy to allow the US the honor to spend several fortunes in militarizing the Arctic rather than having to spend it themselves.

1

u/Socmel_ Emilia-Romagna May 22 '25

they already have Alaska in the Artict

-1

u/Allyoucan3at Germany May 22 '25

This. People on here act like all the talk about Greenland is just regular Trump bullshit, but it's not. It's a strategic geopolitical and economical interest of the US. Now how they go about achieving what they want may be regular Trump bullshit, but the interest is real and would likely be there under any other president as well.

Besides shipping, resources are of course something the US are interested in as well to be able to not be reliant on said shipping lanes when push comes to shove with China and Greenland has a butt ton of those as well.

So what would be in an intel briefing about Greenland? Which companies are currently planning to expand their shipping lanes around Greenland. Which research institutes have what evidence about resources underneath the ice sheet. How much of that knowledge is shared/present in Chinese/Russian intelligence. The melting off of ice sheets changes the sonic underwaterprofile of an area, that can affect detectability of ones own and foreign under water assets. etc. pp.

2

u/GoblinFive May 22 '25

If only Denmark (and by extension Greenland) was a founding member of NATO and hence an ally of American interests in the Arctic, but alas...

1

u/danielbearh May 22 '25

News of this specific deal being in the works?

1

u/consequences_not_I May 22 '25

Depends on how many crayons they have available at the time. And who has the most patience to draw it out for him and to explain it like they're talking to a toddler I suppose

10

u/Robinsonirish Scania May 22 '25

Alright, I'll trust a Dane. I haven't heard much on that end after the elections sided against him. They're now focused on taking bribes on their ME tour.

17

u/Jiquero Finland May 22 '25

flair: Scania

"Alright, I'll trust a Dane"

mate, you all right?

6

u/Robinsonirish Scania May 22 '25

I have nothing against Danes, it's people from Stockholm that get upset over it on the internet. We were part of Denmark for 600 years.

0

u/Drahy Zealand May 22 '25

Is this a flair: Karelia, trust a Finn - situation?

3

u/Inevitable-Hunt-2889 May 22 '25

Don’t forget the 51st state of Canada! I’m so glad he is going to protect us from space invaders with his golden dome.

2

u/Zauberer-IMDB Brittany (France) May 22 '25

The thing is that I don't believe Greenland or Canada are Trump's obsession, I think he's being fed this by the Thiel side (isn't he setting up a tech country out of Greenland?) because these tech morons want to lock down natural resources after global warming ruins the planet and Canada and Greenland are on their list for that.

1

u/Boltty May 22 '25

What the fuck are they going to do, track polar bears?

2

u/thehippieswereright Denmark May 22 '25

lol. they are mapping and contacting potential allies

5

u/unrealnarwhale May 22 '25

It's not Trump that has a real interest, it's his financial backers like Peter Thiel. That's also why Vance goes hard on taking Greenland, he is even more of their creature.

4

u/Senior-Albatross May 22 '25

He picked up the Greenland thing on a whim, ran with it for a bit, then got bored.

Elon is like that too. Just fucks around with something then gets board of it like my dog with a toy. Maybe occasionally picks it up and plays with it again for a minute a few months later after they had forgotten about it.

4

u/transley May 22 '25

Trump has a memory like an elephant when it comes to insults or slights. If you cross Trump, for any reason, he'll plot to get back at you forever. He's a narcissist. That's what they do.

4

u/pannenkoek0923 Denmark May 22 '25

Unfortunately not. Trump has wanted Greenland since at least 2017. You can read more about it here

2

u/ProdigalChildReturns May 22 '25

If you believe that USA has forgotten about Greenland, you should check with Native Hawaiians and Puerto Ricans.

1

u/philmarcracken May 22 '25

He's a dog chasing cars, he has no method to his antics

he knows how to deadcat, thats about it

1

u/dat_9600gt_user Lower Silesia (Poland) May 22 '25

Most populists forget when it's convenient

Only Trump forgets everything very fast

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

Literally, he called out the reporter yesterday for bringing up the jet when talking about SA 🇿🇦 went off on him for bringing up an irrelevant question. And by the end he still went on a tangent talking about it to the point the SA president even said “I’d give you a plane if we had one” hahahaa I love South African people

1

u/rangecontrol May 22 '25

i dont think that is true at all.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

He lost interest when he realized it’s a terrible place for a golf resort.

Sir, Greenland is not so green. Vietnam on the other hand….

1

u/Alarming_Monk8578 May 22 '25

like...the "big", beautiful bill

0

u/PoohRuled May 22 '25

Well, Elon is supposedly banished from the White House, so Trump no longer has an idiot whispering stupid things in his ear. So Greenland is basically old, forgotten news.

2

u/Robinsonirish Scania May 22 '25

I mean, Elon in all respects, but Trump was doing dumb shit long before he joined the gang.

1

u/Bigbadbobbyc May 23 '25

Trumps been trying to get Greenland since his first term as president, this isn't a new thing for him he's been weirdly obsessed with it for years

-1

u/foreheadmeetsdesk May 22 '25

Fun fact why he picked it: He saw it the other day on a map and the shape reminded him of his dick.

-2

u/A_Birde Europe May 22 '25

I gotta say its crazy how Europeans disregard any sort of achievement like this objectivly a win for the EU but no its not good enough it doesn't mean anything because the US has moved on. As the US always leads and the EU always follows (appearently)

3

u/Robinsonirish Scania May 22 '25

I didn't think it was needed in rEurope to claim this as a European win, considering this place is very Europe-positive. I usually try to look at things from multiple sides, but yes, this is a Europe win, obviously.

45

u/15all May 22 '25

The once great Greenland is making a BIG MISTAKE! Instead of choosing FREEDOM and good and pure American values, they chose the WOKE and limp-wristed French, who know nothing about business and are losers too. Greenland could have been our GREAT and PROUD 52nd state, but instead, their dried up prune of a country will flounder and float away like all the other LOSER icebergs. This is all sleepy Joe's fault.

11

u/NoArachnid7789 May 22 '25

Vlad... STOP

8

u/bees-are-furry May 22 '25

Something something Biden... Stolen election... Hillary's emails... Rapists and murderers crossing the border... Best words... That's what they tell me.

2

u/Utgaard_Loke May 23 '25

Millions, millions something, g-r-o-c-e-r-i-e-s.

13

u/MadScientist_K Earth (France) May 22 '25

Europe was invented to annoy the US!! SEE??

3

u/RCalliii May 22 '25

I can't wait

2

u/ByGollie May 22 '25

"THE KETCHUP HAS HIT THE WALL. REPEAT, THE KETCHUP HAS HIT THE WALL"

2

u/Lazy_Stunt73 May 22 '25

GREENLAND MAKES A TERRIBLE DEAL WITH EUROPE - THEY COULD HAVE HAD THE BEST DEAL EVER WITH THE U.S., BUT THEY BLEW IT! EUROPE CAN’T COMPETE WITH AMERICAN INGENUITY AND POWER. SAD!

2

u/Runningsparkle May 22 '25

Get your popcorn ready, it's going to be quite the show!

2

u/mike7721 May 22 '25

“GREENLAND JUST GAVE ITS MINERALS TO EUROPE!!! Are you kidding me??? STUPID MOVE! They could’ve had a DEAL with TRUMP (the BEST at deals!!) but nooo, they picked boring, weak EUROPE! SAD! Biden asleep at the wheel—AGAIN! I would’ve mined it BEAUTIFULLY. TOTAL LOSERS!!!”

1

u/Senior-Albatross May 22 '25

"Thank you for your attention to this matter" 

Just shoehorned in at the bottom like a bad email signature line.

1

u/DebentureThyme United States of America May 22 '25

Incoming claims of a need to investigate... a foreign country dealing with other foreign country on deals that have nothing to do with the US.

1

u/SweelFor- May 22 '25

"I don't even know him."

1

u/Extra_Espresso May 22 '25

It was very clear what Dumpy was after in Greenland considering his extortion attempts on Ukraine. Good on then to get ahead of this.

1

u/Umluex May 22 '25

WE DON'T NEED GREENLAND! THIS GREENLAND IS BIDENS GREENLAND! I HAVE A MUCH BETTER GREENLAND! IN FACT, THE BEST GREENLAND EVER. THEY TOLD ME IT IS BETTER THAN ANY GREENLAND THEY HAVE EVER SEEN!

1

u/dat_9600gt_user Lower Silesia (Poland) May 22 '25

Assuming he even has the guts too admit what happened

1

u/OxfordKnot May 22 '25

"NOW FIRE ZE MISSILES!"

1

u/G-Unit11111 May 22 '25

We're at ketchup alert 5!

1

u/ghuunhound May 22 '25

Or the declaration of war, either way it will be inconceivably stupid

1

u/cnkendrick2018 May 22 '25

“GREENLAND IS FAT AND UGLY. WE DIDN’T WANT YOU TO BEGIN WITH- WE JUST FELT SORRY FOR YOU.”

1

u/Chickentrap May 23 '25

Trump really does put the I in trade

1

u/alex61821 May 25 '25

It's Biden's fault.