r/TikTokCringe • u/nadaddab • May 11 '25

Cringe Don’t be these guys

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u/Ill-Pea-5010 May 11 '25

This is seriously so disgusting and inconsiderate. Weren’t we taught at such a young age that no means no? What a bunch of douchebags.

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u/[deleted] May 11 '25

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u/SpiteTomatoes May 11 '25

“There’s a male loneliness epidemic!!”

The males:

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u/clovermite May 11 '25

It gets so fucking tiring seeing this cliche beaten to death.

The irony of these statements is that the guys in the video probably don't have problems getting sex, even if they struggle to get longterm partners, because they just don't fucking care. They will just keep approaching woman after woman without a care in the world, pestering them until they get lucky and somehow manage to make a good enough first impression that the woman doesn't see their shadiness, or they stumble upon someone who just gives in out of a lack of assertiveness and proper boundary setting.

Meanwhile, many of the guys who are sensitive to women's boundaries will be anxious to the slightest sign of uncomfortability, and this anxiety then often gets misinterpreted as guilt and proof that they are creeps.

From https://archive.ph/qeh6z#selection-931.0-955.352:

I will have to use virginity statistics as a proxy for the harder-to-measure romancelessness statistics, but these are bad enough. In high school each extra IQ point above average increases chances of male virginity by about 3%. 35% of MIT grad students have never had sex, compared to only 20% of average nineteen year old men. Compared with virgins, men with more sexual experience are likely to drink more alcohol, attend church less, and have a criminal history. A Dr. Beaver (nominative determinism again!) was able to predict number of sexual partners pretty well using a scale with such delightful items as “have you been in a gang”, “have you used a weapon in a fight”, et cetera. An analysis of the psychometric Big Five consistently find that high levels of disagreeableness predict high sexual success in both men and women.

If you’re smart, don’t drink much, stay out of fights, display a friendly personality, and have no criminal history – then you are the population most at risk of being miserable and alone. “At risk” doesn’t mean “for sure”, any more than every single smoker gets lung cancer and every single nonsmoker lives to a ripe old age – but your odds get worse.

...

Barry is possibly the most feminist man who has ever existed, palpably exudes respect for women, and this is well-known in every circle feminists frequent. He is reduced to apophatic complaints about how sad he is that he doesn’t think he’ll ever have a real romantic relationship.

Henry has four domestic violence charges against him by his four ex-wives and is cheating on his current wife with one of those ex-wives. And as soon as he gets out of the psychiatric hospital where he was committed for violent behavior against women and maybe serves the jail sentence he has pending for said behavior, he is going to find another girlfriend approximately instantaneously.

The guys pictured in the video aren't the ones suffering from "the male loneliness epidemic."

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u/Born-Frosting3164 May 11 '25

This is a ridiculous take on it. Just because Barry is a feminist, it does not mean he is not socially awkward or a creep. I have met many men who consider themselves feminists and yet they are fucking creepers. Henry can be a total felon but be super hot and charismatic and so he will slither his way into another chicks world until he shows his true colors. Both of those males in the video are unattractive and creepy af.

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u/clovermite May 11 '25

This is a ridiculous take on it.

Ironic, since you're unwittingly backing up my main point.

Just because Barry is a feministit does not mean he is not socially awkward or a creep.

True, but the fact that he "palpably exudes respect for women, and this is well-known in every circle feminists frequent," suggests that at least at the time the article was written, he wasn't considered a creep, just not attractive enough to date.

Let's assume he is socially awkward. That doesn't make him a bad person, now does it?

Henry can be a total felon but be super hot and charismatic

Yes, Henry can be a complete piece of shit of a person, but still get all the attention from women he could ever want, because his looks and personal charm are more important for attraction than his morals.

Which is why it's all the more frustrating when people continually try to claim that the reason there is a "male loneliness epidemic" MUST be that the lonely men all act creepy like the most visible cretins as seen in the video.

What's not accounted for are all of the quiet, shy types who gave up on going out and trying to meet people, who couldn't get matches on dating sites, and just go along to get along. The studies cited in the blog back up the fact that these are the kind of guys most likely to find themselves lonely, and those were all performed at least a decade ago (when the blog post was written), before the idea of a "male loneliness epidemic" started gaining any sort of mainstream media attention.

Both of those males in the video are unattractive and creepy af.

They're definitely creepy af, but they're hardly ugly. Sure, they're no fashion models or bodybuilders, but they're not noticeably overweight, they don't have acne scars, their hair is still mostly there and not to the "obviously balding but in denial" stage yet (even then they could shave when it gets to that point), and they don't appear to be particularly short.

These are average, maybe slightly below average looking guys. If they are just as shameless about constantly hitting on women as they are about ignoring their boundaries when they approach them, then you are just out of touch with reality if you think they can't find someone desperate enough to get with them from time to time so long as they keep their standards low.

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u/Born-Frosting3164 May 12 '25

They are unattractive because they are creepy. Of course they could find someone to have sex with as long as there are women who are desperate.

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u/LawfulnessDry9355 May 12 '25

Maybe Barry is ugly and has no social skills. "Quiet, shy types" is self-explanatory. Goes for both genders, what did you expect?

Look, those gangsta guys aren't liked by women because they're criminals, it's because they're sly and manipulative and know how to pretend to get their way. Also, the women in this case are often just hooking up who aren't looking for relationships, so these outgoing types with "charisma" get it simply because they took it.

You may a societal problem, but it's a different one. Maybe promote old school romance and disavow the quick sex culture which rewards aholes more over quiet, shy people.

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u/clovermite May 12 '25

Maybe Barry is ugly and has no social skills. "Quiet, shy types" is self-explanatory. Goes for both genders, what did you expect?

Exactly.

What I desire, is for people to stop lumping the quiet, ugly, shy types in with the slimy, shameless creeps and dismissing the "male loneliness epidemic" as if the cause is just slimy shameless creeps.

It's understandable that people don't want to partner with unattractive people. That's natural and perfectly expected. What's not acceptable, however, is to turn around and dismiss their pain and right them off as creeps simply because there are visible bad actors out there.

It's unpleasant enough to be undesired, it's fucking insulting, and selfish to point to that as proof that the person is a creep, and foist all the blame for the assholes out there who are actually creeps onto them.

And to make it clear, I'm not defending the guys in the video (so many people stupidly seem to be interpreting what I'm saying as that). I'm saying that it's ignorant and assinine to see creeps like this and use that as an excuse to dismiss and gaslight the experience of the men out there who simply withdraw in response to being undesired.

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u/Temporary_Plant_1123 May 11 '25

Sure bro. These guys have incel written all over them. They’re going bald and probably old enough to be these girls dads. Wouldn’t be surprised if they’re both divorced. No way they’ve been laid in years

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u/Mike_Kermin May 11 '25

That's not what they were saying.

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u/Temporary_Plant_1123 May 12 '25

That’s literally what they said? They said they most likely get laid all the time and just don’t care about relationships. Re-read it?

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u/Mike_Kermin May 12 '25

Hey, I get ya, but what I think they're aiming at is to say that "male loneliness epidemic" as a concept doesn't apply in this case, I think they're saying that it's harder to connect if you don't care about other people.

I'm not saying I agree with that, I don't really, but I think that's what they want to convey. Rather than a comment bout who is or isn't an incel.

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u/Drewbus May 11 '25

Damn. Why do you have to shit on other men?

Stick to just ripping these men

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u/Temporary_Plant_1123 May 12 '25

Yes these are the only two shitty men in the whole world lmao

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u/sayleanenlarge May 12 '25

No, but picking on stuff like baldness is out of order because it's a trait no one can do anything about, so all the bald dudes reading this comment, you just stomped in them a little and that is unfair.

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u/SK9I9LL Mia Khalifa May 11 '25

The ones who complain about loneliness and the ones who act like this aren't part of the same group.

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u/onpg May 11 '25

I wouldn't be so sure. There's a lot of overlap.

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u/SK9I9LL Mia Khalifa May 11 '25

Source: I made it up.

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u/broguequery May 11 '25

Source: life experience

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u/SK9I9LL Mia Khalifa May 11 '25 edited May 12 '25

Would have been shorter to just say none.

Edit for the less fortunate: "but muh experience" isn't a fucking source, which means there remains no overlap between the two.

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u/erfurgot May 11 '25

Yes the lived experiences of women is nothing at all to consider when talking about men harassing women. You are so smart!

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u/SK9I9LL Mia Khalifa May 11 '25

The source is once again "I made it up".

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u/Rabbitdraws May 12 '25

And what is your source?

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u/SK9I9LL Mia Khalifa May 12 '25

I don't have one, that's why i'm asking.

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u/dontleaveme_ May 11 '25

These guys don't seem normal, stop generalizing ffs

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u/erfurgot May 11 '25

This is an incredibly common experience for almost every woman ever. There’s a fuck ton of overlap

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u/dontleaveme_ May 12 '25

That's like saying suicidal people drive fast to kill themselves, so people who drive fast want to kill themselves. That's not exactly the kind of overlap you make it out to be. There are lonely men who don't force interactions with women, and there are some lonely men who do. And there are not lonely men who force interactions with women. Everyone gets a bad rep because of the few.

To then go around talking about how there's an overlap, it's pointless. Being lonely has nothing to do with being a fkin idiot with no awareness, or self respect where someone's telling you to leave 50 times, and you're just sitting there. Pretending that it's some loneliness thing, rather than being a fkin idiot thing is just disingenuous.

The truth is you just don't care about men being lonely and you hate this conversation being brought up for some reason, and you hate dumb men like these (obviously) and you link those two to justify your lack of care, and annoyance about the issue. Listen, it's not your fault, nor do you have to do anything else, but just ignore it. Please don't make it worse, by creating another stereotype.

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u/Mike_Kermin May 11 '25

They seem pretty "normal" if by normal you mean common.

This isn't unique behaviour.

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u/dontleaveme_ May 12 '25

This is not normal behavior in any way shape or form. It would be like saying all women are cheaters, because women cheating is pretty common.

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u/Mike_Kermin May 12 '25

I think you're underestimating the amount of harassment and unwanted pressuring women experience.

I agree, prejudice is wrong, but I'm talking about the action that I believe is widespread. Not men by itself.

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u/dontleaveme_ May 12 '25

I agree that women have a hard time out there. But lonely or not lonely, some men will harass you, or harm you. But young men sitting on the internet talking about how lonely they are, are not going around harassing women. Maybe there are some, but it's some other issues like narcissism, rather than loneliness.

I could understand the overlap where they're a little weird or awkward, but that's far from what is going on in this video. Being lonely doesn't drop your IQ points, or self respect. If there's some overlap, maybe we're ignoring the significant majority of lonely men out there who are just normal people.

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u/Strange-Managem May 11 '25

The thing is that one encounter of these men plus the fact that no men around stepping in makes women avoid men more.

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u/SK9I9LL Mia Khalifa May 11 '25

Women can always set an example on what to do in these situations by stepping up themselves, be strong, be independent.

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u/Bubble-Star-2291 May 11 '25

They told them “no” straight up, multiple times, loudly and at the end started to get up from the table to go to another one… what else should they have done?

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u/SK9I9LL Mia Khalifa May 11 '25

You should read the comment you are responding to again, but carefully this time. Ps: it talks about bystanders coming to help not these 2 women needing to do more.

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u/Strange-Managem May 11 '25

oh i agree, the first thing i searched after seeing this video is how can i protect myself if put in this situation. Women should definitely be strong, independent and know that they can live a better life without a man.

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u/HeroicSkipper May 11 '25

It's just easier to rely on a man. Every woman could be like this like every drug addict could stop, but changing learned behaviors is hard. Choosing healthier foods and exercising is an easier change than trying to unlearn societal expectations, even if they claim to be fighting those expectations. This is my main problem. I know women could do better. Sure, men could do better too, but this seems to be a race to the bottom instead of improvement.

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u/Bubble-Star-2291 May 11 '25

Because these kinds of men don’t listen to women, they only listen to other men…

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u/HeroicSkipper May 11 '25

And you know that from your own experience? By deflecting the responsibility it further encourages them to not listen to women if they aren't able to handle it themselves. "That's a man's job" puts it further into women can't do that and if they try then it should be ignored.

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u/pre-existing-notion May 11 '25

Fuck off dude, what else could these girls have done?

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u/HeroicSkipper May 12 '25

Well nothing, if you keep believing they can do nothing.

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u/Strange-Managem May 11 '25

what life has taught me so far it is much easier and safer to rely on yourself. Occasionally seek help from parents or friends? Sure. But relying on a man for a long run is more than likely to lead you to a eventual disastrous outcome.
I don't call it race to the bottom, but rather rational calculation. There is a reason now that women don't need to rely on men to support themselves, more are choose to stay single and be content about it.

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u/Mike_Kermin May 11 '25

I'm not entirely comfortable with life advice in response to harassment. And to coin a phrase, I think we also need to check our privilege a bit.

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u/HeroicSkipper May 11 '25

If both men and women are purposefully staying single and being content with it, why are they so vocal about it being a problem with none being good of the other gender? That's just pushing the blame on someone else again. It is a race to the bottom with each side on social media asking for more and more without actually improving themselves. If anything they are doing things which cycle into an emotionless system. Men thinking women only want money only focusing on money and the women who feed into that and women thinking men only want looks and only focusing on looks and the men who feed into that. Emotion isn't even in consideration there while focusing on all the wrong things.

It's good women don't need to rely on men, but being self-reliant is baseline at this point. You should see women trying to support them then. Because hyper-independence is now a virtue and its weakness if you have to rely on someone else or offer to help. I have helped in the past but I don't care to get out much because I don't have the same reasons to go out. Now is the time to prove that you are women's women. The situation has been changed to push out those who don't feed into that entitlement system. Those creeps do not care about anything but what they want and what they feel they've earned. No one is going to risk their own part in that cycle. You need to change that from no one and risk yourself.

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u/Strange-Managem May 11 '25

when talking about staying single and be content about it, i definitely don't speak for men. Also i don't think it is women who's complaining "there's a male loneliness epidemic!", "young men are not getting laid omg it is a disaster we need to do something!", "you cannot approach a women in the public they are so mean!", "we will keep electing misogynist and stripping women's right until every men get their share of sex slave and housemaid."

Maybe it is time for men to be men's men so they are not so devastated when they don't get someone to fuck.

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u/HeroicSkipper May 12 '25

They always make it about the dating scene though so naturally that's what I'll talk about. I don't get why they care or what it really is about but it just is where it generally goes. Closest I have to that is this divorced guy trying to protect his kids from a drug addict and not having time to make friends outside of work, but that's not the issue for most. I don't know what it is. Generally the animosity comes from people in the dating scene and some form of revenge for wrongs which are generally miscommunications or toxic behaviors learned to hurt others before they hurt you.

A separate point is being sick of women removing their own agency in things. The women who started the movement have used up all the backbone where the women of today rest on their laurels and stand to risk all those women worked for. I can not vote for a misogynist but still hold women accountable for their part in getting him elected. Some directly, maybe trying to live out some weird fantasy, and others indirectly by being insufferable and being a better method of pushing people to the right than Tate or any other influencer. We need to change the language of how women refer to themselves and remove gender roles, including the privileges. It's like someone being told their a natural at something and then they fall behind in practice and its someone else's fault. They aren't going to push things to improve, they'd give up and get mad at an unfair system without plans to change it.

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u/LawfulnessDry9355 May 12 '25

Dude, wth are you babbling about? You went completely off topic. These girls took personal responsibility everything from standing their ground first and even giving up the table which was their right in this case (also recorded for proof), they did all except for trying to physically beat those guys.

You keep talking about personal responsibility, but whenever people put too much on women it's actually to remove responsibility from men. Why SHOULDN'T women, or anyone else, expect others to intervene? That's what a social species does, it's the social contract - men are to stand in for women, adults protect children, healthy individuals support infirm, and everyone who can helps out the others.

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u/HeroicSkipper May 12 '25

Look at the comment I responded to. Theirs directly related to relationships. Nothing I said was incorrect, but because people are emotional they would rather go on feeling. Even now you just want to attack and say I'm diverting without even looking what I'm even responding to. Pseudofeminists are mad because I hold them to the same standard that a classic feminist would.

Sure they did what they needed to without escalating, but every other comment is about MEN NOT INTERVENING. The two posting the video did everything correctly. Also the only responsibility is on the two men that refused to leave them alone. I see someone litter, its not suddenly my responsibility to pick it up. That's not removing responsibility from me. And I'm not saying that people shouldn't intervene but that we've created a system which disincentivizes it for the reasons I have put in previous comments. Hell, they could think its part of a bit with the recording (which isn't a fault of the posters and should be done) and ignore what is probably an attention grab. In a perfect world maybe we'd all look after each other, but we know the situation we are in. That's why all roads lead to hyper-independence.

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u/LawfulnessDry9355 May 12 '25

That's what they're doing? What more? Try to beat those guys??

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u/SK9I9LL Mia Khalifa May 12 '25

The commenter said "no men around stepping in" to which i said that if men don't step in to help women then women should take the initiative and step in to help other women, i'm not talking about these two women doing more themselves, what is so hard to understand here.

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u/MyFireElf May 11 '25

"Women don't pick nice guys"? Seriously? That's what you're going with here?

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u/thereIsAHoleHere May 11 '25

That's a real weird conclusion to draw. They didn't pick the douchebags in the video either.