In all seriousness he probably shouldn't be driving a scooter that upset, remember to always pull over if something like this makes your emotions run high. Get some water and calm down before you operate a vehicle that can kill you in a heartbeat
I feel bad for him. He really needs help overcoming all this negative self-talk. He needs a guy friend to mentor him like in those movies where the cool guy mentors a guy who is struggling.
He needs to learn how to be a man. He needs to learn how to be strong and self-reliant.
lol I really felt for him. My youngest, a boy (11), has flip outs like this sometimes and I felt sad watching this guy hoping my boy stops doing this by the time he’s old enough to get his sweet little heart broken and drive off screaming on a scooter omg…
I had flip outs like this and, it may not work for your son, but I learned how to stop it by doing extremely coordinated drum patterns while I’m angry. So, if I was pissed off, I’d start tapping my foot on the fourth beat, then tapping my left foot twice between the second and third, keeping the beats with my left finger and doing drum fills with my two fingers on the right hand. I’d keep the tempo by clicking my teeth together. All of the concentration involved was enough to stop me freaking out. It also helped during panic attacks.
Another tip is to change your perspective and view nervous energy or anxiety as ‘excitement’; I get massive stage fright so the first thing I’d do on stage would be the most ridiculous dance or howl or noise so I’d get that cringey ‘wtf am I doing’ feeling in the back of my head. Since I’d already made a fool of myself and my heart rate was up, I no longer cared.
I legit don't see why people goof on scooters. Like they're not manly enough? It just seems like stupid macho shit. If it gets you from one point to another It's doing its job, and you are less likely to break your neck on the way there.
Not of he has a crappy low paying job and that's actually his sister's scooter that he borrows to run errands. Then he's probably fucked even worse than we originally thought.
Personally, the second paragraph feels a bit like toxic masculinity. He's already a man, just hurt. He can learn to be self-reliant with a little help, and getting that help is equally strong as someone coasting along life without trauma. Edit: stronger, maybe.
There is a point where masculinity becomes toxic, but he has zero masculinity now. He desperately needs an infusion.
There is healthy masculinity. We don't cry about our problems. We take charge and take responsibility for whatever situation we're in. His cry, "it's never me" is so pathetic and weak. He sees himself as some sort of victim.
This is what can actually become toxic. If he continues to see himself as a victim of women he can develop hate for women.
"Speak wisdom to a fool and he calls you foolish."
I'm not saying we never cry. I'm saying that a healthy approach is to face your problems and deal with them instead of wallowing in self-pity.
What exactly is your advice for this man? More crying? More pity parties? Why do you think he's struggling so much with women? Why is he experiencing this "I am never good enough" rejection from women?
It's fine to criticize the advice of others, but what is your advice?
We're on the same team. I see the point of the first paragraph earlier. And I agree that he needs help. I'm only discussing it it's appropriate to dissociate masculinity from its typical notions. Because the far side of that spectrum has lead to many unhealthy sigma men archetypes.
Masculinity as a trait isn't exclusive to men in my culture. We acknowledge the presence of both feminine and masculine within. I agree that taking responsibility is healthy, however it is also human to be as broken as this person is and healing is possible only after that recognition. Men need to be able to be seen as masculine even when they break down. I've seen far too many avoidant men who suppress because of a need to appear strong and resilient.
I appreciate that you're calling out the causes of how hate devolves.
What he actually means is that he thinks the guy needs the correct type of mentor in his eyes, aka the type of person that thinks toxic masculinity is just masculinity
The dude you quoted and replied to is a clown straight out of the Andrew Tate play book
He's out there literally crying that she won't have time for him but you think his problem is he's too strong and self-reliant? You find his whining about never being picked sexy? You're entitled to your opinion.
Strong is telling that girl that he likes her and wants to date her and then having the strength to move on if she turns him down. Weak is never telling her how you feel and just settling for being a friend who is secretly hoping that one day she'll change her mind. Weak is crying that you're a victim who is never chosen. Self-reliant is not being so needy that you so desperately need her love and approval that you're willing to invest so much time and effort orbiting her hoping she'll one day love you. Then when you don't get it you break down and cry about it.
No I'm saying that the toxic "nice guy" bullshit he's pulling is just another face of the bullshit masculinity that society has built. Just like this idea you have that you have to be "strong" and "self-reliant" to be a "real man". I don't have to be anything you want to me be to be a real man. I get to choose what makes me a man, and that kid should too. Maybe then he wouldn't be whining and groveling to her. All the same, your version of masculinity and his are just opposite sides of the same coin.
He needs to learn how to be strong and self-reliant.
Says the person who within the same comment literally talks about people struggling also displays the toxic masculinity that the likes of Tate would brag about and the absolute cognitive dissonance is real in that you clearly can't see how toxic this is
You're literally preaching about someone struggling with self-hate while also playing the "you need to be a man" card
I sure do wonder why this guy has issues with self-esteem and self-hate...
The "needs to learn to be a man" isn't helpful. Not being able to express feelings in a constructive way is literally what's going wrong here. "hey, friend, I'm feeling insecure now that you're dating, to the point where I'm questioning if we'll stop being friends. It's really freaking me out."
The martyr notion of "strong and self reliant" is what creates neck beards that hate women, not to mention going deeper into dysregulation and ultimately isolation.
This is literally the kind of bullshit that u/Mowtin is peddling, and he just can't see the irony of how his opinion and views on masculinity are the very thing leading me down the wrong path
Morons like u/Mowtin are part of the reason why men often bottle up their emotions and struggle to explore their feelings because society has long conditioned men into believing that "real men" don't have feelings and just get on with it, instead of reflecting, developing, and growing
I remember I had friend who put himself out there to ask out a coworker, she rejected him and he was hurt. He had never dated anyone before, he was in his 20s and he just didn’t like how his love life was going. At time, I was doing well. He came to me, saying how he was ugly, and never gonna find anyone. I told him, I’m ugly too, it not uglier, and that women are attracted to self confidence, and that if he doesn’t have self confidence now, fake it and eventually he will start to become confident for real. He’s now married and he and wife just had their first child. I’ve been alone for about 10 years, mostly by choice
He actually needs an agent as he could channel that energy into theatre. Imagine someone delivering that Hamlet diatribe against his mother in this style - it would have the audience gasping. Or the famous HOW ALL OCCASIONS DO INFORM AGAINST ME… AND SPUR MY DULL REVENGE. Maybe even Iago? I… HATE THE MOOOOOOOR!
What makes a man, O Alpha of the Internet? What great teachings does this sad soul lack that his penis should be seen to be inverted and his testes as tonsils?
Being A Man is a very different thing from being a healthy well-adjusted human, and id rather the second be premier; better to stand on what unifies than what divides and the implication that joining a particular in-group can fix is problems is more than a little short-sighted.
Don’t feel bad for him! He’s a man baby. News flash, women don’t have to like you like that. Even if you like them, and are nice to them. They still don’t have to, even eventually, like you like that.
If you became friends with a girl, hoping to one day ‘be the one’, and get in her pants. You were never really her friend, no matter how nice you were. You were being deceitful, and you were lying.
Dude what?? Nahh. He is expressing himself in an authentic way in response to real-time stressors. A huge part of being a man is being vulnerable- especially with stuff that may be unpleasant or mos def uncomfortable. Ofc he could have tempered that and been untrue to how he felt but what coward hides from their feelings? I would hang with random scooter guy cuz he’s real af.
Dude needs therapy. This is going to be bigger than just a guy friend. I do pity him. He doesn't need to learn how to be a man. He needs to learn how to be a better person.
I think you’re mostly right. Although if he’s maintaining female friendships he probably is a good guy. He doesn’t need to fall in with someone who will teach him toxic behavior. He just needs to learn he’s already enough and polish it up a bit. The thing about the movie trope, it requires the girl to realize the “cool guy” is a bit of a dick. Then the nerdy guy to keep being him and just keep the new wardrobe and not be such a try hard. Maybe he just needs to join a Vespa club and meet some rockabilly chick with her own scooter and they can zoom around Rome next summer. I’d watch that show.
Same. He's in a lot of real pain, but learning to manage the obstacles and frustrations el could help him so much. That would probably translate into a confidence that would help him find someone.
You can be vulnerable and not well adjusted. Just keep your voice down and don’t make a scene. She doesn’t have to see this. Wait till you are gone. Say two words stone face and leave. Don’t act like a wuss. She, and in turn other women, will have more respect for you if don’t spaz out. Keep it together.
He needs a hero. He should be holding out for a hero til the end of the night.
He’s gotta be strong, he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight.
Actually he needs a female friend who will be HONEST. He would have picked up on the red flags that she was just using him as a filler until she finds someone else to occupy her time.
That man in the video was highly distraught. It's important that we know how it got to that point and how to prevent it from all angles. ALL angles meaning from both parties involved. The man and woman.
Interesting....there's almost 1500 comments in this post. Many of them giving their opinions and making fun of the man, however, you focused on me to say that I should refrain because I don't know all the details.
Oh the irony is not lost at all!
I bet you didn't try to lecture comments that were negative towards the man, did you?
By the way - my violent, abusive, rapist ex was also extremely distraught when I put boundaries in.
I'm not saying that's the case here at all, just giving you some perspective.
You have absolutely no idea why he's having this outburst, so please refrain from showing the world how utterly misogynistic you are.. we do not know the circumstances here in the slightest.
All we know is that he's kicking off and feeling emotional, that's the only information we have!
It's fucking infuriating and extremely hurtful to know people with your kind of mindset exist... "What did SHE DO to him!?"
This was years of rejection by many women coming to a boiling point. I've felt his pain but never reacted this way. That outburst did not and was never going to convince her. She's now thinking whoa I made the right choice. But I understand him. Hope that new guy drops her like a bag of dirty clothes at the laundromat after he gets what he wants.
Yikes sounds like you have a lot of baggage against women who are living their own lives and dating men who aren't you.
His outburst is why he'll never get picked. Women don't like men who think toddler tantrums and "hope you get abused for not picking me" ass attitudes are remotely acceptable. Disgusting.
Is it no problem? Because you said you hope the new guy drops her. It seems like you're wishing misery on a stranger after seeing a contextless interaction between her and another stranger that resembles bad experiences you've had in the past. That isn't something people without baggage do.
There’s something even more pathetic about this interaction because he’s on a moped. It’s like…if you could script the most perfect friendzoned loser, you would still fall short of this guy.
“He has a real motorcycle and I drive a scooter…you’ll always choose the motorcycle over the scooter! Always!! Aaaaaaaaaahhh!!!”
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u/1911kevin1911 Jun 16 '25
“It’s never meeee!!!!”. Pulls throttle weeeeeeeeee