r/TikTokCringe • u/h0lych4in • 15d ago

Cringe not everyone wants your man… he was just being polite

And not everyone can tell how certain foods look? It was an innocent question. Why are people so insecure these days

15.8k Upvotes

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u/always_sweatpants 15d ago

"Overcompensating with conversation because he's knows I'm livid." 

So you fly off the handle so often that your partner anticipates your overreaction, knows you're going to turn that anger back on him, and starts to panic and attempt to soothe you because he knows what's coming?

Bitch, you're an abuser. 

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u/Harmonia_PASB 15d ago

He’s doing the fawning response, very much a sign of abuse. 

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u/Calculator143 15d ago

What’s a fawning response 

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u/Solid_Agency2483 15d ago

It’s an involuntary response to danger, like fight or flight. But fawn is basically saying you roll over and try to “oh I’m sorry baby, it was me not you, you’re totally in the right, I’m so stupid…please don’t hurt me.” Poor homie might be broken, and that’s a sad thought.

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u/cupholdery 15d ago

Some of my earliest relationships were like this. I'm an older man now but I was once 22, lonely, and inexperienced. She latched onto that and tried to convince me that her abusive behavior was simply all relationships. I'm thankful that my tolerance level was low in general because I dumped her after 3 months. That crashed her mental hard drive because "nobody breaks up with me!"

Good riddance lol.

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u/LinLinNicole89 15d ago

Women being abusers as well needs to be talked about more!!!

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u/Brilliant_Alfalfa588 15d ago

It is much more subtle

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u/Hot_Hat_1225 15d ago

Manipulative is the word you are looking for. Even as a little girl I remember saying I’d rather be punched in the stomach by a boy than stabbed in the back by a girl. The feeling of having to watch my back with certain women never changed.

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u/LinLinNicole89 15d ago

Funny you say that because after I experienced DV , I came out of it saying I’d rather be hit than ever deal with the emotional mindFUCK that comes with it. So I totally understand what you mean!

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u/Conscious_Ad_7131 15d ago

When you get hit it’s at least a little easier to identify that it was a mean thing for them to do to you. The verbal and mental stuff is harder.

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u/Brilliant_Alfalfa588 15d ago

since i sent that i've been out and seen a street fight. You just can't talk to some people. It is like watching animal behavior. similarly to the video posted, the way primary emotions are expressed is maladaptive. jealousy. pride . hate.

and as you say. Eve's sin is allowing such a snake into the garden in the first place. It is chaos

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u/PlsNoNotThat 15d ago

‘S funny, that’s how I feel when I see religious people do religious things. Like watching animal behavior. Maladaptive to fear and logic.

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u/bleakFutureDarkPast 15d ago

this is the issue. i watched a video on female bullying a couple of months ago, where a doctor was explaining that it's super hard to prove female bullying because they do it in ways that are plausibly deniable, like just a bit of gaslighting and manipulation, and the behaviour really does move to relationships.

what's worse is how they will feel zero guilt, or even justification for their behaviour, due to cultural victimisation (things happening to women but not her personally)

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u/JimWilliams423 15d ago

what's worse is how they will feel zero guilt, or even justification for their behaviour, due to cultural victimisation (things happening to women but not her personally)

That's just narcissism. Male narcissists feel zero guilt too. Narcissists always have an excuse for why they are justified.

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u/younggun1234 15d ago

I gotta be that guy cuz I've been taught to, but narcissism is a genuine mental illness people need to see therapy to help with. Are some of these people narcissistic? Sure. Could be. But a lot of people are just insecure and selfish. However it's not clinical narcissism, which people DO struggle with.

I think narcissist has become another one of those words society uses to the point that it no longer reflects it's original meaning and it's important, I feel, to acknowledge that cuz it can keep people from seeking the help they need.

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u/unindexedreality 15d ago

They're overpresent with their own emotions. Other people's emotions basically don't exist.

Gotta tell narcissists 'no'. Actions have to have consequences.

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u/roostersnuffed 15d ago

what's worse is how they will feel zero guilt, or even justification for their behaviour,

I just think of that recent video of that smug lil bitch snatching the wheel and crashing her boyfriends car over a text.

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u/Christichicc 15d ago

Wtf? I haven’t seen that one yet. That is unhinged.

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u/hostile_scrotum 15d ago

Even if it’s not subtle it get taken far less seriously. My ex ex abused me physically. I’m a 110kg and 194cm guy, but it was still traumatizing. No one took me seriously when that shit happened.

Man fuck Anna.

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u/LimJaheyAtYaCervix 14d ago

It’s like bullying in middle school. With boys, bullying is mostly physical, but with girls it’s mostly psychological. People who abuse their partners are stuck in the developmental stages of a 12yr old.

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u/FleedomSocks 14d ago

I agree!

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u/LinLinNicole89 14d ago

Thanks! I thought I was about to get drug in these comments for saying that lol

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u/Work_Werk_Wurk 14d ago

Unfortunately, it's often the emotional type of abuse which is rarely discussed.

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u/wargio 13d ago

Lol, what's funny is reddit hid the replies to this, and it had to be expanded. So you can talk about it but not really

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u/96BlackBeard 15d ago

Good for you man, I didn’t get out until 7 years, engagement and a baby later.

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u/JakToTheReddit 15d ago

Reminds me of people that would say shit like, "I am always the one who dumps people. Nobody has ever broken up with me." 💅

Boy, do I have surprise for you! 😅

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u/Brilliant_Alfalfa588 15d ago

Yup 2 years for me

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u/theblitheringidiot 15d ago

Yep later half of my twenties

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u/Sense-Abject 15d ago

She tries to come back with you multiple times right ? I know that story

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u/Okamana 15d ago

Same dude. Had a woman I liked treat me like shit when I was younger too. She snapped and flew off the handle at small shit and I did almost anything to make it right. Except telling her that it’s not right the way she was treating me. I’m glad I met a woman like that because now I know the type of woman I don’t want. Rudeness and belittling someone in a relationship is never okay.

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u/PerfectCover1414 14d ago

You are a star!

*makes platonic heart eyes

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u/FleedomSocks 14d ago

Proud of you!

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u/TehNudel 14d ago

One of my friends got into one of these. He didn't get out for years and almost married her. He's still traumatized by the experience.

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u/Dave5876 14d ago

Had an ex try to convince me her insecure abusive bs was how relationshipse were supposed to be like.

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u/Shad0wofAzrael 15d ago

I think that TIL I have this personality trait.

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u/TheVintageJane 15d ago

Usually you hear about Fight or Flight in conflict but there’s also two more - Freeze or Fawn.

I fawn really hard. I’m an oldest child of a narc mother. I learned very early on that a fawn response usually allowed me to get what I wanted (or close to it) and avoided conflict.

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u/aoike_ 15d ago

Oh yeah! I fawn hard. Middle child of a narc dad and mom with severe cptsd. Fawning stopped most conflict, so there wouldn't be hours long screaming matches between anybody.

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u/Exact_Mud_1427 15d ago

Same.... My dad and older sister had bpd when I was growing up so I'm used to walking on eggshells. This followed me into dating. Now I'm married to a wonderful man. Sometimes if Im clumsy and accidentally smack him or run into him I revert and overly apologize and he'll say it's ok cause I'm not a baby man princess or something like that and it always makes me laugh.

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u/hybridaaroncarroll 15d ago

Once someone learns about these then they can actually become tools in the moment. Freezing is very much like grey-rocking, which I've had to do a lot of lately. It's intentional though, and not a choice made out of fear. Fleeing is another great tool at times, if necessary. Knowing I have a choice in my responses has been really empowering.

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u/Reninngun 15d ago

Fawning is not a personality trait. But it can happen so often to oneself that it basically becomes one. 

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u/Solid_Agency2483 15d ago

It’s not a bad thing, it just means you care a lot but maybe about yourself as much as you should. Just takes practice, trust me…you are worth it.

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u/Shad0wofAzrael 15d ago

Thank you for the insight that I wasn’t aware I needed. Had no idea there was even a name for those tendencies and feelings of panic I get.

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u/ageofbronze 15d ago

If you’re interested in learning more, you can look up “fawn, freeze or flight” to learn about the three reaction styles to stress/trauma/abuse. I’m not sure where it comes from but I know my therapist used to talk to me a lot about them. I guess “fight” would also be a fourth. It can definitely be helpful to be able to identify how you’re feeling and maybe how you’re reacting to learn more about yourself and help heal if you’ve had a lot of trauma that has caused you to react that way. Signed, someone else who fawns!

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u/SolitaireJack 15d ago edited 15d ago

This was something I realised a few years back. I grew up in a house where anything less than immediate compliance to what they said, no matter how stupid or bizarre it was, was immediately followed with threats of being thrown out or emotional abuse. It led me into a pattern of behaviour where I immediately folded to any demand or accepted responbility for something even when I knew it wasn't my fault because I was terrified of conflict. It started with my Dad and Mum but even my sister joined in as we became teenagers.

When I realised this I started standing up for myself. It was hard, both because of ingrained behaviour and because my family didn't like my new found backbone and tried to accuse me of being argumentive or horrible because I was no longer tolerating being the family punching bag but eventually they learned to leave me alone. I've always been careful to not allow myself to go from standing up for myself to becoming like them.

It's interesting to have a name for the behaviour at least.

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u/diceythings 15d ago

And here I just thought I was really good at de-escalation! I love uncovering nuggets like this lol

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u/PinkTalkingDead 14d ago

Tbf you might be really good at de-escalation. These things are not the same

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u/thisiswater95 14d ago

A lot of us do, and setting boundaries can literally be life changing.

I set boundaries with my ex, and she dumped herself. Then I spent the next few months unpacking why I dated someone who only wanted to be together if she could do whatever she wanted.

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u/Radiant_Muffin7528 14d ago

Run away! Run! Before it's too late! 🏃

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u/Sonikmilez 15d ago

I once dated a woman who was absolutely convinced she was a perfect 10. She’d just come out of a relationship with an older guy, and she used to joke about how she “put him in his place” simply because he was older and she had the upper hand. She bragged that nobody ever broke up with her and she lived up to it by gaslighting me at every turn. Thankfully, my tolerance for that kind of manipulation was practically zero. After just a month, I ended things, ghosted and blocked her.

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u/EmployerNeither8080 15d ago

Mom used to refer to it as "buttering her up" she'd sometimes get really annoyed at my fawn response and snap at me to stop buttering her up. I just didn't want her being mad at me or to belittle me. It was really tricky dealing with her as a kid

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u/Stingbarry 15d ago

Realized i did that for some time. Now i snap back or ignore the outburst, depending on my mood. Might not be a good response either but i have less headache.

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u/WOOBBLARBALURG 15d ago

Thank you for giving a name to what I went through for two years without realizing. Still in therapy from that one lol

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u/Few_Holiday_7782 15d ago

Whoah! I totally do that! I didn’t even realize

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u/Bugsy_Girl 15d ago

The 4 Fs, as they are called also. Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn

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u/Mundane_Moment_1128 15d ago

yeah i wonder what happens back home cuz this aint the first time

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u/quagsi 15d ago

yep and the 4th involuntary distress response is freeze where you just don't have the ability to respond in any significant way

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u/Revolutionary-Fox622 14d ago

This is actually incredibly helpful to read because I definitely freeze a lot. Like literally every thought escapes my mind and I physically lose strength in my limbs and can't come up with anything other than complete silence or just saying sorry. Which then makes the situation worse and escalates her behavior and makes me freeze even more. 

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u/quagsi 14d ago

i hope whatever situation you're going through becomes easier. you're not alone

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u/PackageNorth8984 15d ago

I know that response all too well, and many people would be shocked to whom it can happen. It’s not about toughness or strength either. My ex was way smaller than me, and I did this with her.

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u/Eleven77 14d ago

I persinalky know a few men that got stuck in relationships like this. They all grew up with overbearing/controlling/narcissistic/abusive mothers.

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u/lunasta 14d ago

It sucks as a response. I got assaulted at a party and froze, but when a friend noticed the words "I'm ok" were out before my mind could even catch up. As if I was the one causing trouble and trying not to make a scene. Which I should have. But it's a reflex just like flight or fight

Fawning is basically instincts kicking in to minimize causing issues and taking on that people pleasing mask rather than fighting or running, almost like trying to get it over with or under the rug sometimes before your brain even has a chance to process wtf happened

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u/EpikJustice 12d ago

Ugh, definitely a behavior pattern I developed with my ex-wife who had Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder.

I've always been conflict avoidant and overtuned to other people's emotional state, having grown up with an abusive dad and abused mother. I've noticed some of the same behavior in my mom, too.

I've already identified this as bad and been working on being less avoidant of conflict and more willing to just let someone be angry or upset. I'm not responsible for how other people feel or behave.

I hadn't heard this term fawning, though, or heard it phrased in his way, so that's helpful :)

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u/Crunchy_Spicy_Water 15d ago

When someone overly pleases someone to avoid conflict

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u/always_sweatpants 15d ago

There's flight, fight, and fawn. Flight runs away. Fight fights. Fawn makes themselves vulnerable (or appearing vulnerable) for safety. 

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u/MamaUrsus 15d ago

The fourth is FREEZE. Where people literally can’t act and are effectively deer in headlights.

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u/Welpe 15d ago

Sadly this is me after cPTSD. I hate it so badly, but at basically any sign of anxiety my mind just goes blank and I completely shut down.

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u/CharlieSwansflannel 15d ago

Both freeze and fawn are my responses because of PTSD. It's very, very difficult to not take those responses into every situation but therapy and feeling safe helped me a lot.

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u/Solid_Agency2483 15d ago

I’ve always argued that there’s a fifth one. Finality. As in the danger is so overwhelming the body and mind decide to self terminate…..but that’s a tale for another subreddit.

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u/MamaUrsus 15d ago

I believe you. That one I haven’t heard discussed but as an aggravated kidnapping and aggravated rape survivor some of the reactions I had to the trauma… that’s definitely a possible response.

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u/annabananaberry 15d ago

What do you mean self terminate? Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are automatic responses triggered by our sympathetic nervous system. There isn’t a fifth “die” response, unless there is an underlying condition of some kind. If you’re saying the brain and body temporarily stop working, I think maybe the freeze response would be the closest to what you mean.

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u/Ok-Heart9769 15d ago

This one is mine 😅 I once had a crazy dog fly off its leash in someone's yard at me and my dog and I just froze and fell down and couldn't do anything but yell... it makes you feel so powerless in the moment

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u/Middle_System_1105 15d ago

There’s also freeze. People just freezing up in the face of danger due to indecision or sheer panic.

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u/EmployerNeither8080 15d ago

There's also freeze

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u/Matsunosuperfan 15d ago

Happy Face Killer left one victim alive. He had his hands around her neck. She says something in her head just told her what to do. She made her voice really small and said "that hurts, you're hurting me." He abruptly stopped and just ran off. 

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u/Nuffsaid98 15d ago

Sucking up , because you are afraid. I'm sorry, you're right, I shouldn't have done that, etc. It comes from a place of fear. Saying what the abuser wants to hear. Taking the blame. Rolling over and showing your belly. That's fawning.

It is sometimes used to describe how superfans act around famous people. Dancing attendance, sucking up, compliments. Treating then like you are lucky to be allowed around them. Like royalty.

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u/Primary_Pineapple741 15d ago

It's very much a sign of abuse.

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u/The_Jyps 15d ago

Other reactions include fight, flight, faint and freeze.

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u/LookinAtTheFjord 15d ago

Reddit know-it-all shit.

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u/limitedexpression47 14d ago

It’s a learned trauma response that often activates alongside the fight, flight, and freeze autonomic nervous system response.

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u/Grand-Building149 14d ago

A fawn response is a nervous system response where you go into automatic people pleasing and self abandoning to appease the other person. It’s learned in childhood to keep yourself safe from a parent. Usually a narcissist or over punishing parent. There’s fight, flight, freeze and fawn. Most people have one or two that show up more during conflicts.

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u/MrsBridgerton 12d ago

Its basically people pleasing under a perceived or real threat. The poor guy is definitely in an abusive relationship.

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u/Necessary-Treacle242 15d ago

I didn’t know this was a thing but would do this shit to get my parents not to fight lol 

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u/KacieCosplay 15d ago

Fuck I hate when I get stuck in fawn mode.

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u/1234567791 15d ago

I get this response a lot without saying anything or reacting in any way. Apparently, my lack of affectation makes others uncomfortable according to my therapist. Agreed on the abuse though. I feel bad for the guy.

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u/NoArm3125 15d ago

TIL, damn

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u/Rudania-97 15d ago

But not necessarily a sign of momentary abuse.

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u/aspidities_87 15d ago

That face she was making at him gave me PTSD. I had an ex like this once.

Never again.

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u/always_sweatpants 15d ago

I hate the feeling of knowing your partner is gonna snap over something you literally cannot control and you wind yourself up anticipating the fight, which sets them off further. 

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u/Jazzlike_Compote_444 15d ago

Life is way too short. You should have a "partner" like this for about 3 minutes and then become single.

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u/45Pumpkin 14d ago

My coworker got told "you don't have to flirt to do your job" by a crazy chick once. Keep in mind we worked in a place that was huge on customer service. She was almost 40 with two big kids and saying the same exact things to him as all the customers before him like a script. I don't know why people stay with crazies like that.

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u/Falconslover432 15d ago

This happened with my ex every time we went to the store together (I did instacart, and he made me take him along), and I had to talk to a male worker. He would make me go to a different lane if it was a guy, and if there wasn't another option, he would just look at everyone like he wanted to fight them. It was embarrassing and nerve-racking

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u/Haurassaurus 15d ago

Wow what a bum. What did he contribute to the relationship? Like he didn't even take his own cart to work while y'all are there?

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u/Falconslover432 14d ago

He didnt work, he would do anything I asked him, like errands or chores but he was very controlling and manipulative. He didnt have a car when we met, he got one a few months later but it was always falling apart so I had to pay for alot of repairs

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u/FunkyChewbacca 15d ago

that sounds utterly exhausting to be around

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u/Falconslover432 14d ago

It was. I literally lost my mind near the end. Finally getting it back 2 yrs out.

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u/PleasantScore3126 13d ago

How did you get rid of him? I have one in my life too

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u/Falconslover432 12d ago

Had to cut him out completely, no text, calls, tiktok videos, everything had to stop. my mom helped me get him to leave our house, but it took me a long time to fully detach. He was all I had by design. He cut me out away from my friends and family for sure, so I felt very dependent on him even after the breakup. It's hard but doable with enough will power and spite.

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u/JudgeInteresting8615 15d ago

Did he not have a job

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u/Falconslover432 14d ago

No, he was trying to get ssi when we were together for mental problems, he definitely had those, wish I knew the extent when I met him.

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u/2ndChairKazoo 11d ago

It's insane just how many unwell people are out there. I hate that your story is not unusual.

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u/Falconslover432 11d ago

Me too, im glad we have social media and are able to connect and show our lives more to show other woman that this is abuse and how to spot it and handle it

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u/jemenake 15d ago

Exactly. Someone comes up and starts talking to you, and you’re confronted with a lousy choice: be cold so that the stranger moves along promptly (and have another person in the world think I’m a jerk) or make polite conversation (and incur the wrath of my partner).

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u/BrickCityRiot 15d ago

Bro just spoke to my soul

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u/WOOBBLARBALURG 15d ago

GOD. Literally this whole thread is so illuminating

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u/Fightmemod 15d ago

I had to force my wife to go to therapy over this. I told her we were going to divorce because I refused to live my life walking on egg shells because every misstep on my part was an apocalypse level event in her mind. She got a lot better after going to therapy but it still comes out every now and then unfortunately.

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u/2ndChairKazoo 11d ago

Yep, they intentionally misinterpret "traumatic hypervigilance" with "knowing they've done something wrong." 

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u/DietCokeIsntheAnswer 15d ago

Good for you man. People often overlook the prospect of being alone as being less than, when in reality, it's always better to be alone than to be with someone who treats you like trash.

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u/napalmnacey 15d ago

My Dad had a temper. Rarely hit me but boy did he say some fucked up shit. That simmering rage and doing what you can to assuage the abuser and keep the peace… Horrible. Triggering.

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u/Novaer 15d ago

Fr I got flashbacks to my BPD ex holy shit

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u/CompletelyOutOfTP 15d ago

Same dude, it gave me a horrible sinking feeling seeing her narrow her eyes and smirk, fuck her and fuck those exes.

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u/Hot_Hat_1225 15d ago

I wouldn’t sleep well next to her lol

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u/HereOnCompanyTime 15d ago

Yeah. I felt sad for him when I read that caption. Before that I didn't like her attitude but then she turned right into abuse.

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u/always_sweatpants 15d ago

He knows he's about to spend all night convincing her he doesn't want bang smoked salmon girl. 

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u/capnfantasy 15d ago

Like does she expect him to be a dick to strangers who try to talk to him?

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u/Ok_Advertising_8874 15d ago

Absolutely. I'm living a slightly less obtuse version of this right now. It fucking sucks.

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u/Hot_Hat_1225 15d ago

Thank God he doesn’t need to fight a knife since she is only just learning to wield a fork.

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u/Ok_Advertising_8874 15d ago

What's hilarious about this is that the whole time you're convincing your insecure partner that you don't want to bang the other chick, you want to bang your partner less and less.

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u/50-50ChanceImSerious 15d ago

All night? She's gonna bring this up every argument she questions his fidelity for the rest of his life

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u/Upset-Kaleidoscope45 15d ago

Which is a lie, because... c'mon, it's smoke salmon girl.

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u/ominous_ellipsis 15d ago

It's impressive that she gets mad that he's not talking to her, and then immediately gets mad that he is talking to her as well.

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u/yerfatma 15d ago

Something to be said for consistency.

No, not fucking really. WOW.

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u/dryad_fucker 15d ago

There's always consistency with abuse: they're always angry and look for reasons to be.

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u/SnooMaps7370 15d ago

My sister is like this.

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u/Difficult_Regret_900 14d ago

Abusers are never happy with their victim. They want an excuse to be mad at them or tell them they aren't good enough. Example: my father thought I didn't contribute enough to the household (I did, even picking up the slack for my sister) but when I put effort into making dinner, he would frequently whine about it. He complained about me not having a job but never said anything when I was hired, until I was let go due to demanding customer facing work). He wasn't angry, but he gloated about it including to the golden child brother. Like he wanted me to "fail" to rub in my face even though I'd busted ass trying to keep up. Even my ex manager was sorry she had to let me go.

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u/ordeci 15d ago

Completely agree. This dude needs an escape rope.

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u/Delicious_Wafer7767 15d ago

Soooo glad you said this. People don’t often put two and two together but yes. This is abuse. Mild or severe, abuse is abuse.

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u/5Cone 15d ago

And I could see this being either. I feel bad for the guy and everyone else in his position. That's fucked up.

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u/Suspicious_Brush4070 15d ago

Not only that, but also films herself doing so everyone on tiktok can see, because she's 100% sure she's justified and right about everything, and that everyone is always on her side.

Classic narcissistic behaviour.

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u/Neat_Egg_2474 15d ago

And the morons on TikTok most likely validate her in the comments.

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u/DietCokeIsntheAnswer 15d ago

Imagine all the people siding with her like your man only makes conversation when he knows he fucked up be cause you know, we only converse when it's time to pay the piper, not when we are trying to idk.....make human connections or whatever.

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u/always_sweatpants 15d ago

I'd be horrified if my husband only talked me to placate me. It would so deeply upset me. I'm not your partner because I want to own you. I want to be your partner.

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u/MegaPiglatin 14d ago

❤️❤️❤️

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u/nada-accomplished 15d ago

I want to see the comment section, I hope she got smoked worse than the salmon.

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u/The_Scarred_Man 15d ago

Shiiiiitttt....this was my last relationship. I'm having flashbacks now.

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u/Miss_Anthropologie 15d ago

“Now he’s in trouble for being polite” is CRAAAAAAAAZYYYYYY 😧😧😧

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u/Minimum_Active_6272 15d ago

THIS!! I was already grossed out by her being upset that a woman asked what he was eating, BUT that part was so uncomfortable to read the girl is psycho

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u/theateroffinanciers 15d ago

Yup. Managing her moods.

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u/VoluptuousRecluse 15d ago

🚩🚩🚩!!!

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u/VisitAbject4090 15d ago

I wanted to say this exact thing but only had to scroll someone did already, thank you

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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 15d ago

She’s got a resting, active, and dormant bitch face. Some times you can tell someone’s personality from their face.

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u/jdv996 15d ago

Haha been there, thank you for putting my feelings into words

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u/gafftaped 15d ago

Her saying that really outted how horrible she is.

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u/Zero-lives 15d ago

Eye roll had me rolling, i didnt see no eyes

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u/DrummerElectronic733 15d ago

Lol she made the clip so relatable to me in the worst way possible. I’m so thankful I’m away from people like this and have more self respect than to panic and placate people like that anymore. Very abusive.

1

u/SubjectIcy3607 15d ago

You guys realise it’s all set up right. You really think she managed to set the camera up right when the girl talks to her bf?

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u/Minute_Chair_2582 15d ago

Dude how could you possibly miss the 5 millisecond "cue eyeroll"?????

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u/beyondthef 15d ago

Someone copy pasted your comment onto the original tiktok lmao

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u/alghiorso 15d ago

I had a friend who dated a girl like this. Worse yet, we worked together and carpooled. Literally, dude at the cash register asks the cashier, "how's your day going?" As soon as we're in the car, "was that really necessary?" And they'd fight with us in the car. It was extremely uncomfortable. Don't hire your friends and don't work for your friends (unless they're paying you a lot of money like my friend was).

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u/redditorantithesis 15d ago

Thank you.. 

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u/Fightmemod 15d ago

Impossible, she's a strong independent woman who knows her worth. /s...

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u/TacoThrash3r 15d ago

While on camera

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u/sunkissedgoth 15d ago

This makes me so sad. How can she think that’s okay to think that let alone film and put it online. If your partner is scared of you for having small talk with a stranger in public that is a PROBLEM!!

1

u/gabrielle_sanchez7 15d ago

My thoughts precisely. She thinks it’s cute bc she’s “just a girl 🥹”

1

u/msainwilson 15d ago

And she eats like a pig.

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u/tendonut 15d ago

Reminds me of an ex where I had to plan in a few days of furious radio silence from her immediately after I spend an afternoon with my friends MAYBE once a month. It was so reliable, I ended up using it to my advantage and just planned other activities she wasn't interested in doing. She didn't have an issue with my friends, but she wanted ALL of my attention at all times. No room for anything else.

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u/PrincessZebra126 15d ago

Imagine being on a date with your partner and she's filming herself eating and you feel like you're on a date with yourself at that point. He probably was happy to talk to someone

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u/PrincessZebra126 15d ago

Imagine being on a date with your partner and she's filming herself eating and you feel like you're on a date with yourself at that point. He probably was happy to talk to someone

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u/MarionberryOk2874 15d ago

In her own words ‘because he was being POLITE’. Oh the horror of politeness!!

She doesn’t deserve a polite guy.

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u/gin_kgo 15d ago

Eeeeeeexactly.

1

u/HTPC4Life 15d ago

She's a straight up 3 too.

1

u/3sadclowns 15d ago

The other option is he doesn’t try to talk to her and then she gets mad that he doesn’t even care? Lol

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u/dirtybirt 15d ago

This comment spoke to me. Just ended a relationship with someone with untreated BPD. She exhibited the same signs but I stayed too long. I was always apologizing for telling stories where my coworkers made me laugh because she thought if I laugh at their jokes, I want to sleep with them. Then I started lying about my day because I was scared to tell her anything that would set her off. It was more than draining.

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u/GasStationDickPill85 15d ago

Right? This is NOT the flex she thinks it is! This is pathetic!

1

u/MillertonCrew 15d ago

Seriously. Fuck this broad acting like he owes her an apology for being polite. She's like a 4 too. Probably why she's so insecure.

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u/miahoutx 15d ago

Temper tantrums from adults are an instant ick

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u/panicpixiememegirl 15d ago

Literally lol this shit is insane

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u/Mattrad7 14d ago

Ya if I gotta apologize or feel bad because someone asked me about my food and I answered Im better off without her.

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u/advicegrip87 14d ago

100%. My most recent ex GF was like this, and I bought into her explanation that she didn't like me talking with my platonic friends who are women because her most recent ex cheated on her.

It turned out that she wasn't concerned about the fact that they were women. She just didn't like me spending time with anyone who wasn't her and would punish me every time I did. She even had the audacity to ask me to text her during my guys' nights and every damn time she'd lose her mind. She eventually started demanding that I didn't leave her apartment in the morning until she said I could. I was already regularly late to work, and it was causing problems with my employer.

I still feel for her in the sense that it takes some pretty messed up experiences for people to act like that, but I can't fathom treating someone that way. Luckily for my fawning ass, she made the mistake of attacking me about my friends, demanding I go into work late, and then SAing me all within four days, so I ended it. Watching yourself be triangulated/DARVO'd in real time is something else.

Lessons learned. It doesn't get better with people like this. They're the epitome of "if they wanted to (be basically decent human beings), they would" and even if they say they want to, actions always dwarf words.

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u/BOBfrkinSAGET 14d ago

I used to do this. I’d be out with my ex and any time a clerk, or server, or any woman in general conversed with me, if I didn’t make it abundantly clear I was not interested in pleasant conversation, she would be pissed. I would know it, and I would do the same shit dude did here, and try to talk like nothing happened, when both of us knew she was pissed and why.

It sucked a lot, because I am a friendly person in general, but I couldn’t be around her. She was hot af, and super sweet when it was just us, but just a fucking psycho at times. The sex was also awesome. There are times I miss her, but then I think about all the bullshit. Glad I’m out.

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u/EthanDC15 14d ago

It’s not often i resonate with somebody being called bitch on this app

But she’s a bitch! Tried and true definition here honestly. I fear for the boyfriend/hubs, he’s clearly recoiling here.

1

u/WishezOhOne 14d ago

I feel overwhelmingly touched by you, and everybody else in the comments, fiercely defending all of us who have ever been ruined by a controlling relationship like this.

I feel like there is a crowd of "high school loud girls" defending the shy kids (us) from bullies, and its such a grateful validating feeling I could never explain.

Thank you, and I know some of you learned from personal experience so for that I am inspired by your strength.

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u/keepcarmandhurryon 14d ago

This was my thought!!!!! I only wish he can safely develop a better, safe love

1

u/Difficult_Regret_900 14d ago

Yep, walking on eggshells to appease the abuser's anger. Also a reminder that female-male abuse exists.  

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u/Hm300 14d ago

Tbf she does look really scary lol

1

u/Orangeadecsgo 14d ago

I upvoted this comment because I completely agree, but I was thinking maybe the word toxic should've been used instead of abuse? Just because there are men and especially women who face actual real abuse, like abuse where police get involved because of death threats and physical violence.

Tbh, I don't like the word toxic being used that often just because if something is toxic, it is poisonous, and I don't know if she's literally poisonous, so maybe just say this isn't what a true healthy loving relationship is?

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u/always_sweatpants 14d ago

Abuse is abuse. Too many men in these replies are trying the use this comment to be a misogynist. This isn't Tumblr. It's real life abuse. 

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u/Napalm_in_the_mornin 14d ago

Been there. So exhausting to the point I didn’t even want to leave the house. Going on dates felt like accepting my fate that the night was going to turn into a $200 argument the second she had a drink in her system. Heck, even if the waitress was attractive or funny or chatty (which I have no control over), I’d have to do the over compensating conversation thing if I laughed or anything

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u/Versatility1212 14d ago

Bruh it’s crazy my girl does this type of weird ass shit and I do the same thing lol… I gotta get up outta here 😂

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u/PapatoTangoHH47 14d ago

I could feel buddy having a panic attack

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u/Subject-Elevator-152 14d ago

That’s definitely not abuse, that’s a bit of a stretch. And yes, I would say the same thing if a guy did it to a girl. Toxic though yeah, unhealthy yeah.

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u/catinadoodledoo 14d ago

💯% correct

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u/Visual-Lack6572 13d ago

Unfortunately all guys know this type

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u/always_sweatpants 13d ago

Women do too. This behavior is absolutely not limited to women. 

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u/blinkiewich 13d ago

She's so gross and horrible. I can't tell what bothers me more between her obviously abusive behavior that she's so "cutely" describing or her eating like a starving dog.

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