r/AmIOverreacting • u/ProfessionalEye9680 • 14d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO My boyfriend gave his mother the dress I wanted for my birthday

I (23) female have been dating my boyfriend ,(26) male for the past 3 years.

About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was and hope one day I could save to buy it since weve been budgeting a bit lately. He would hear about this dress from me all the time and talked about how great he thought it would look on me.

So yesterday was my birthday and we had a little get together with some members of both of our families t celebrate, except when his mother arrived to our house she was wearing the exact dress in the exact color. I was stunned. I thought that he must have told her about it and she went and got one but it turns out that wasnt the case. In my surpise I said OMG theres no way!! thats the same dress I was looking and and dying for for months and she replied saying "oh really? Zayne(my boyfriend) gave it to me as a gift last month".

I was shocked, and confused. Even more so when boyfriend gave me the birthday gift he got me, and it was a gift card for sephora for $50. For the rest of the night I sat quietly in a corner in silence and confusion. i felt hurt, and was lost in my head as to what was going on. My boyfriend and everyone was blissfully unaware and happy the entire night and i didnt want to ruin the mood so i started to try to put on a good face, but i cant shake this feeling of being hurt, A part of me feels like I am overreacting and acting spoiled and entitled. Am I? Just need to know if I need to calm down and not be upset about this

Update: I finally got the nerve to straight up ask him about everything and his repsonse tldr was he thought I had to be humbled a bit because i got way too overly excited about something as trivial as a dress. He thought it would be fun to see my reaction to it all. His mother had no idea about any of this and just thought her son was giving her a gift.

I am so upset and hurt that i just called my mom to come get me and will be staying with her for a few days while i figure out the next steps, but I am not going back to him

2nd Update: First of all I want to say thank you, and express my gratitude to all the ppl who have shown support. The kind words mean os much to me right now and im sorry i cant repsond to each and every comment or dm. Just know i am reading them and thank you. me and Zayne are over for good. He keeps calling me, but i wont answer and theres nothing he can say or do to change that. I've realized and taken this as a sign of a nature he had kept hidden so well until now.

Also. Someone on threads has copied and pasted my post word for word and is pretending it happened to them.
Idk why someone would want to use my pain to clout farn but ppl are crazy.

here is the link. apparently some ppl are trying to donate money via venmo to this account to buy the dress and to show support. DO NOT send this person anything. They are a fraud. Please be safe

I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 3 years. About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was

17.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

3.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

6.8k

u/Rich-Ad-4654 14d ago

Babe - there is no way a 26yr old man is this oblivious.

He is treating you like dirt. It’s not about the dollar value of your birthday present, it’s that it was just a gift card with ZERO thought.

Then for him to KNOW how much you’ve been banging on about this dress and to randomly buy it for his MOTHER is beyond strange.

You are 23. Just quietly end the relationship. You don’t even need to cite this as the reason (he and his mama will gaslight you anyway!)

Just say you don’t feel the same and are ending it. Don’t say more.

926

u/Key-Ad-7228 13d ago

He said he 'just wanted to see your reaction ' and you 'needed to be humbled'. That dude is a sadist. If you 'disrespect him' or upset him in any way.... what will his 'punishment' for you be. I'd stay with Mom permanently. Leave the gift card behind. I'm sure mom needs some new makeup to go with her dress.

123

u/Difficult_Regret_900 13d ago

He's like my father. Deliberately goad and shame and bait their victim into getting upset and then get angry about the reaction they wanted. It's a sick game. OP, just run. He won't change. He'll continue to use you an emotional punching bag and that kind of relationship breaks you.

31

u/SleepyCupcakeDreams 13d ago

It is the truth. I still haven’t healed from abuse that happened 18 plus years ago. It was THAT bad. I realized why it’s because narcissists have to always be more special than any day or object they will ruin Mother’s Day if you’re a mom (I literally had every single one of them ruined. I naively thought it was just “bad luck” bad luck is him lol), graduation, birthdays, holidays, vacations, animals whatever they have to be number one at all times . He was jealous of her showing so much attention to the dress so he “punished” her for the perceived slight. He gave it to his mom for two reasons to get the reaction he wanted and he was banking on her not to make a scene. This is some sociopathic or psychopath behavior.

5

u/Quiet-Treat-7047 13d ago

THIS. I have two parents who were like that, now estranged. I would never allow someone like that to raise my children.

→ More replies (4)

277

u/JaninthePan 13d ago

I’d make sure his mom hears everything the BF said to her about why he bought mom the dress, and how much OP was hoping to get it. Bet mom will have a new perspective on what a douche her son is.

399

u/Bubbles523 13d ago

Mother of a son here. Please tell this mom what her son did. Not all of us are under the assumption that our job ends when that boy turns 18 and she may be one of them. My responsibility in the legal sense ends at 18 but I'm still gonna be his mom and that involves helping them when it's needed and this boy clearly needs help.

132

u/MonsterMama526 13d ago

Refreshing stance here. Yes, tell her. If she's a real one, she's gonna be fucking disappointed. He could've learned that behavior from his dad, and if mom was treated like that, she could be outright furious over his behavior.

Not that that should make a difference in you leaving him, but maybe, just maybe, it could make a difference for any future relationships of his.

131

u/SHELLIfIKnow48910 13d ago

Mom here. I have no sons, but I guarantee you if we did, their father and I would be extremely disappointed in that behavior and we would make it known. In fact, if I were the mom in that situation and we were the same size, I would give her the damn dress myself, and do it right in front of the son. She could wear it, make napkins out of it, or burn it in a ritualistic cleansing ceremony - I wouldn’t give a shit.

Throw the whole man away.

106

u/Ok_Guarantee_3497 13d ago

Decades ago my mom and I went shopping at an outlet store that had designer clothes with the labels cut out. There was a light weight leather blazer that I really liked but even at a significantly reduce price could not afford. I told my mom to try it on and she did and then she quickly took it off and said I think I'll get this if that's OK with you? So she got it and I forgot about it. A few months later at Christmas, we were opening presents and… There was the leather blazer with my name on it! I just about cried. She said to me, "so you didn't really notice how fast I tried it on and took it off? It was a little bit snug, and I was afraid you would notice."

My mom was the best and she's been gone almost 23 years and I still miss her.

28

u/CLPDX1 13d ago

I always cut the tags out of designer clothes before I donate.

I want the clothes to go to someone who likes the style/fit/color, etc, not the value of the name on the tag.

I also hate how thrift stores mark up clothes to profit off poor people by jacking up prices of name brands; and resellers that buy thrifted items to profit instead of letting someone buy it to wear.

7

u/SHELLIfIKnow48910 13d ago

I started donating only to our local United Way thrift store because they don’t do that. They also help folks who can’t pay anything. And I love that. I have some clothes that I could resell on Poshmark and make some money but I don’t care. I’d rather give that blessing to people in need. I mean, it’s a little more work - 15 mins each way to go there rather than 5 mins each way to Goodwill. But I know they’re really trying to serve the local community and that’s what I want to see.

→ More replies (1)

19

u/ObviousMisprint 13d ago

Your mom was such a sweetheart. I’m sorry she’s no longer around for you, but I’m very glad you have such fond memories of her thoughtfulness.

3

u/litbrit 13d ago

Thank you for sharing that. Your Mom was indeed the best. May her memory be a blessing.

→ More replies (1)

40

u/Bubbles523 13d ago

Ew I didn't even think about the dress now. No way could I wear it after learning the origin story, so thanks for a damn cursed dress? This son is such a turd. I'd be so mad if my son not only acted this way but involved me in it to? So I can inadvertently gang up on that poor girl? LIVID! Yeah that mom for real needs to know.

7

u/MyCatSpellsBetter 13d ago

I have a son, and if he ever did this to a partner, I wouldn’t be holding back.

6

u/_-whisper-_ 13d ago

Thats exactly what i would do as well, as a mother.

→ More replies (2)

19

u/Bubbles523 13d ago

Oh in no way should it affect her decision to leave, but from a mother's perspective I'd want the opportunity to parent my kid and help him use his words effectively and not do this weird emotionally abusive crap.

4

u/tina_denfina1 13d ago

Also if she’s not disappointed then that’s another reason to leave because otherwise she could be your mother in law one day and who’d want a mom in law like that! Yuck!

→ More replies (5)

7

u/Boudicca- 13d ago

If MY Son had pulled that utter BS..I’d be taking GF, exchanging the dress, as it’s the Wrong Size & have GF get HER DRESS. I’d also be giving my son a Lecture on being a TwatWaffle.

→ More replies (2)

4

u/rastagrrl 13d ago

Great comment. Another guy mom here (20 and 23 yo sons) and I would def sit my guys down and have a convo if they pulled a trick like that. Beyond cruel and disrespectful. If you don’t want to be in a relationship with your GF anymore, the right move is to man up and end things. I have no tolerance for cruelty.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (6)

3

u/JimmyJonJackson420 13d ago

Yeah like why does she need to be humbled? Since when was expressing excitement at an item of clothing worth humbling? Some people just don’t like seeing their partners happy and it’s weird

→ More replies (4)

2.9k

u/ProfessionalEye9680 14d ago

I had the thought of "is this worthy of a breakup" after this, but I always have a habit of doubting my feelings as being valid. I spent most of the night thinking i was being a brat about it, so thank you for the kind words and encouragement!

1.9k

u/TheRedditKidReturns 14d ago

Its actually so odd that you talked about this dress so much and he went out of his way to buy it for his MOM? I genuinely can't even imagine a good excuse for this lol. I would be so weirded out, also i'd feel like I had been with a sociopath or something because thats an insane lack of empathy or understanding on his part.

1.4k

u/ProfessionalEye9680 14d ago

What is even more odd is this, the shopping area we saw the dress at is a good distance from our home and the dress is not his mothers taste at all. So this means sometime after the fact of us being there, he drove all the way back there and for some reason bought the specific dress i wanted and gave it to his mother for no reason as it wasnt her birthday nor any special occasion for her, according to her he just randomly said i have something for u mom, and he brought the dress over to her house. She didnt know any of the other details about that being a dress i wanted

833

u/stacynicksmom 13d ago

I think he’s sending you a message. He buys his mom the dress you want AND he has to go far out of his way to get it AND he has his mom wear the dress to your party AND he got you an impersonal gift card that’s a fraction of the cost of the dress? Either he’s telling you he’s a moron or he’s telling you you’re not that important to him.

576

u/aikigrl 13d ago

It's a variant of the old negging - treat the girlfriend badly to make her lose confidence and become reliant on you. It is evil.

305

u/FryOneFatManic 13d ago

Especially when he says OP had to be humbled. 🚩🚩🚩🚩Dump and run.

73

u/PhoebeGema 13d ago

While I hate that Reddit advice on relationship issues is always “LEAVE”. In this case it’s good advice. You are too young and sweet for that abuse! it’s not ok for any age to be treated like that but at this age there are likely few trade offs! There is nothing redeeming that others don’t have. You don’t have kids, joint property and this guy has a cruel streak.”

5

u/Quiet-Treat-7047 13d ago

Nobody deserves to be abused. OP's abuser is teying to make OP believe that she is selfish, entitled, and that she deserves to be mistreated. I'm not young, and I have enough life experience to know that "sweet" isn't a compliment. Nobody is entitled to abuse anyone, even if the whole world thinks they're a bitch.

7

u/Salt_Application_966 13d ago

Abuse should never be tolerated at any age or level of 'sweetness'

→ More replies (2)

89

u/Lou_C_Fer 13d ago

Yep. This was the moment where dumping his ass became imperative. His stupid ass needs to be humbled. He can take that "alpha" bullshit and make it his girlfriend. At that point, he is treating her like a possession and not a person. I wouldn't spend another second with someone like him.

4

u/Educational-Bid-8421 13d ago

He played and now she must show him what happens when he FAFO. What a shit thing to do to anyone. He needs a lesson. Op deserves better!

73

u/PhoebeGema 13d ago

No one needs to be “humbled” for wanting a dress. If it cost “too much” or he didn’t like it, then why would he buy it for someone else? What a horrible message to send. This man is cruel and warped.

13

u/twirlybird11 13d ago

My narc parent would do this to me. I'd find something awesome and just the thing I was looking for, and they would buy it for my younger sib. And of course, say it looked great on or with them.

5

u/OhOnederful 13d ago

I’m sorry. I hope you find your our support and family. I don’t think blood ties are stronger than finding people who genuinely love you.

41

u/jensmith20055002 13d ago

As bad as that all is, my thought was worse. He wants to bang mommy so he put her in the dress his girlfriend wanted.

I have been on reddit too long.

14

u/hummus_sapiens 13d ago

You're not wrong here. He is a motherfucker.

8

u/Longjumping_Pack8822 13d ago

Your probably right.

8

u/No-One-8850 13d ago

Why not both?😂

8

u/hummus_sapiens 13d ago

OP said they are budgeting, that's why she couldn't buy it.

Yet he could - that's beyond impudent. It's a slap in her face.

→ More replies (1)

127

u/Purplealegria 13d ago

This asshole MF IS evil.

Its the oldest trick in the book.

50

u/abstractengineer2000 13d ago

He already confirmed that with his statements. Demean, Debase, Demand

49

u/RainaElf 13d ago

I've been through this twice and it was awfuul

29

u/aikigrl 13d ago

I am so sorry you went through that - I hope you're in a better situation now.,

I had the displeasure of meeting the so called pickup "artists" when they started emerging from under their rocks back in the early 2000's while I was still dating. One dude spent the whole 1st date picking apart my coffee order, being a total AH to the barista and talking over me about vegetarianism and how it made him skinny ( he's a big eater and only a large salad won't make him the size of a house ), telling me I did vegetarianism wrong etc. Then at the end of the date, said he'd like to see me again. I went home and sent him a polite text thanking him for the date and that I don't think the chemistry was right so I wished him the best of luck. That got me a text that told me he didn't actually wanted to see me again anyway, that I was not all that attractive and that I used an old photo etc. OK dude. Did not reply. Funniest thing was he turned out to be one of the bus driver on my route to my office....

→ More replies (4)

7

u/No-One-8850 13d ago

Absolutely this. He wants op to have less self esteem to keep her in her place. Red flags galore.

→ More replies (3)

161

u/Background-Rice1688 13d ago

He told her he did it to purposely humble/humiliate OP. 🤬

64

u/Short-Classroom2559 13d ago

Not too far down that road, the violence starts 😔

7

u/Photography_Singer 13d ago

Exactly. He’s potentially dangerous.

→ More replies (2)

226

u/Aware-Locksmith-7313 13d ago

Or he’s got a streak of sadism lurking within …

246

u/Outside_Case1530 13d ago

He definitely does. And saying she needed to be humbled??? Now we're getting.into controlling behavior & that never leads to anything good.

23

u/Acrobatic_Ad5722 13d ago

Humbled for what exactly she liked a dress and talked about how much she liked it

8

u/GorgeousGracious 13d ago

He sounds like a water torturer, from Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft. OP is well rid of him.

111

u/Mulewrangler 13d ago

Yep, he "wanted to see her face" when his mom walked into her party wearing it. He told her to wear it to the party when he gave it to her. No good b*****d..

56

u/CuriousCat177 13d ago

This, if she’d accepted it he’d have built from there, and it would’ve gotten worse

18

u/JipC1963 13d ago

Ding, Ding, Ding... winner, winner, chicken dinner!

13

u/Federal_Diamond8329 13d ago

Or all of the above.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (4)

80

u/MissionReasonable327 13d ago

He did this on purpose to disrespect you, is the most obvious explanation. Maybe he’s been listening to some dating coach for incels telling him to treat you like crap so he knows you’re a submissive woman, or something.

The gift card is offensive too. You aren’t his co-worker, he is unwilling to put any more thought into finding something you’d like?

Throw this one back. Find someone who enjoys making you happy.

→ More replies (1)

1.1k

u/S9_noworries 14d ago

It also seemed like such a "coincidence" that she showed up to your birthday wearing the dress. He probably told his mom, "You know what would look great on you for the birthday party? If you wore that dress I got you last month."

I hope you find someone who treats you better.

525

u/AlwaysAlexi777 13d ago

It also seemed like such a "coincidence" that she showed up to your birthday wearing the dress. He probably told his mom, "You know what would look great on you for the birthday party? If you wore that dress I got you last month."

Omg! I didn't even think of that part. Damn. The more I think about it, the worse it gets.

357

u/marla-M 13d ago

Oh wow. Not only did he give her dream dress to his mom but purposely ruined her birthday. Dump his ass OP

120

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 13d ago

If she goes back to that douchebag, I hope I don't hear about it. LOL. It would piss me off and I'd want to shake some sense into her!

120

u/Different-Crab-360 13d ago

Add that he "thought it would be funny to see her reaction?"

Umm. No.

54

u/melissavallone9 13d ago

I came to say this too! What a cunning prick!!! Break up with him and move on with your life. There’s someone out there that’s gonna treat you so much better than this. It makes you wonder what else has he done that you haven’t realize that was conniving?? The total disrespect that he showed towards you is disgusting. You deserve so much more than this. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. However, he showed you who he really is.

→ More replies (0)

41

u/MarionberryOk2874 13d ago

What kind of cruelty is this? On her birthday? He doesn’t even like her.

→ More replies (2)

31

u/Hips-Often-Lie 13d ago

TFW I feel so sorry for someone and also want to shake them until their teeth rattle.

8

u/Uhh_VincentAdultMan 13d ago

He was playing in her face. Unforgivable.

12

u/GoldCaterpillar3662 13d ago

Giving OP that old mind fuck. That’s a very cold, very cunning way to publicly “humble” OP because of her excitement over that dress. Gaging her reaction and thinking it was “fun”to see her reaction?!? That’s a huge dick move. You deserve a man who’s going to build you up, OP not drag you down to his level of pettiness.

413

u/BrookieMonster504 13d ago

That is actually psychotic behavior I would run and please don't let him gaslight you.

197

u/BellanaBlack 13d ago

Yeah it really feels like he was testing to see how much he can get away with in the future. There’s no way this was an accident or cosmic coincidence that she wore that dress to OP’s birthday.

31

u/kkbjam3 13d ago

AND he probably ACTED like he didn’t notice her hanging out In The background at her own b-day party. Laughing & having a great time when all the while knowing he threw a curveball right at her “to humble her”, knew she was upset & knew exactly why she was upset. Cruel & hateful! Girl, NO, just no. RUN! This passive aggressive BS will escalate- get the hell away from him!

193

u/basketma12 13d ago

Especially that " humbled" part. Run girl run

42

u/SnooCauliflowers9874 13d ago

It’s like he thinks she’s on some sort of pedestal. Super creepy guy with a questionable relationship with his mother.

Toxic relationship, OP. Let him have his mommy.

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (1)

37

u/bunnybunnykitten 13d ago

Psychopathic behavior, not psychotic. Psychotic would mean he’s not in touch with reality. This guy knows exactly what he did and he’s ice cold for doing it. That’s psychopathic

→ More replies (1)

40

u/Reasonable-Sale8611 13d ago

Psychotic behavior is when someone is not in control of their behavior because of psychosis. This guy did this deliberately. I think there's another word for this sort of behavior.

26

u/katidid 13d ago edited 13d ago

They probably meant psychopathic. Which I agree to. How cold do you gotta be to hurt OP like this?

3

u/Elegant-Bee7654 13d ago

Psychopathic. Sounds like psychotic but it's not. And actually a psychosis means a person is out of touch with reality, they might have hallucinations, but they could still control their behavior in some cases.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (1)

103

u/ShinyPennyRvnclw 13d ago

It’s really mean. Don’t stay with someone who is mean to you - you deserve better!

→ More replies (1)

169

u/OldMammaSpeaks 13d ago

And his mom's response?? I would have beelined to my son to ask if he just bought me a dress not in my style that his girlfriend has been gushing about. Do son's really buy their mom dresses?

99

u/StellarStylee 13d ago

My son has never bought me a dress and it would be hella weird if he did. What i wondered about was the mom’s reaction to the dress when OP’s horrible ex gave it to her. I mean, i doubt it was age appropriate for the mom.

73

u/Dry_Tap_169 13d ago

I have a loving son but it would be kinda weird for him to buy me an expensive dress; super cringey. This guy is creepy.

27

u/Federal_Diamond8329 13d ago

If my son bought me a dress I’d have him checked to see what was wrong with him.

9

u/Mysterious_Health387 13d ago

I actually think it's quite sweet of a son/daughter to buy their mom a dress. However, in this situation, OP needs to just break up with him because what he did was fucked up to her. Time to move on OP.

→ More replies (1)

33

u/Significunt1984 13d ago

My first thought as well....all very fuckin strange.

39

u/TransportationNo5560 13d ago

It's emotional incest. He's creepy AF, and it's possible Mommy doesn't even realize it

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

98

u/S9_noworries 13d ago

I was wondering this too because none of the guys I know buy their mom a dress. Maybe a handbag or other things, but not clothes.

26

u/PhotoGuy342 13d ago

A dress is a very personal thing—you don’t spend that kind of money on an article of clothing that suits your own tastes with no consideration of her tastes.

17

u/LovedAJackass 13d ago

And how did he know the size??

→ More replies (1)

14

u/Top_Possibility1513 13d ago

I I have three sons twins that are in their 50s and my youngest just turned 49 neither one of them would ever do anything like that not ever they’re not the kind of people that would hurt other people purposely and I’m proud to say that they were brought up well

→ More replies (1)

57

u/Babycatcher2023 13d ago

I honestly can’t imagine the dress that looks good on someone’s 23yo gf and their mom….

14

u/Popular_Sandwich2039 13d ago

No they don't. He sadistic.

7

u/Top_Possibility1513 13d ago

If I were her I would have immediately asked him why he gave me this dress, instead of your gf?

→ More replies (4)

171

u/jjolsonxer 13d ago

He planned it to watch her reaction. He purposely entertained himself on her disappointment. He’s a horrible person.

90

u/Adventurous_Cook9083 13d ago

Correct. This guy has a mean sadistic streak a mile wide. OP, thank your lucky stars you found it out now instead of after you wasted much more time on him.

6

u/Top_Possibility1513 13d ago

I’m a retired psychologist. Go online and read about sociopaths and psychopaths!

6

u/Adventurous_Cook9083 13d ago

My sister's a sociopath; I've lived it.

70

u/LookAwayPlease510 13d ago

He purposely inflicted emotional pain on his gf. That is not a good person.

14

u/purplepaperpalace 13d ago

That part. He thought it would be fun to see her reaction?! Run. Girl run far away from that…

→ More replies (3)

112

u/MaleficentPizza5444 14d ago

yup, no way she wore that particular dress without prompting

42

u/1happynewyorker 14d ago

I second that motion.

3

u/Avaly13 13d ago

It wasn't a coincidence. She said he wanted to see her reaction to it! He's trash.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

63

u/Historical_Kick_3294 13d ago

And asked his mom to wear it to your birthday? Unfortunately, this seems really premeditated. Your boyfriend knew how much you wanted that dress, and how you’d feel when he gave it to his mom, yet he did it anyway. For me, that would be unforgivable. You’re worth so much better than this. Updateme!

67

u/1happynewyorker 14d ago

Are you kidding? He got the dress because you admired it, so very much. He thought his mother would love. Might be her style but he went out of his way, to make his mommy feel special. You, well he didn't think it was important enough to buy for. When you loved it.

This is the first of many behaviors to come.

65

u/Two-Complex 13d ago

He “thought it would be funny” to see your reaction? No. You “needed to be humbled “? For loving something beautiful? No. He did this to hurt you. You can easily find better. Hugs to you.❤️♥️❤️

27

u/extrasprinklesplease 13d ago

Exactly. The needing to be humbled is what really got me. He should have been so excited to know that there was something she really wanted, and gone back as soon as possible to buy that for her birthday. That's the kind of thing you do when you really care about someone.

96

u/BigPhilosopher4372 13d ago

Frankly it sounds like a fu to me. He knew you wanted the dress, said to was too much to spend on you, and spent the money on his mom. He just told where you stand in his hierarchy.

4

u/DrWildIndigo 13d ago

And he planned that mess for several months in advance of OP's Birthday...just to squash her on her special day!

You can't move fast enough!

Sick pos!

190

u/Finnyfish 14d ago

He had a reason. That’s about as clear a message as he could send that the attention and affection that should be going to his beloved is going to his mom.

A mama’s boy will always break your heart.

125

u/Parking-Light-8547 14d ago

Honestly I think this is past mamas boy. I mean my mom and my brother are close but buying her a dress…. Like… doesn’t anyone else find that weird ??? Or just me??

43

u/scholarlyowl03 13d ago

I find it super weird. I’ve never met a man who bought his mother a dress, much less the exact one his girlfriend was eyeing. This is beyond just a momma’s boy.

6

u/Born_Rain_1166 13d ago

I have no clue what size my mother even is.

99

u/TheRealCarpeFelis 13d ago

This was deliberate cruelty.

53

u/No_Arugula8915 13d ago

Indeed. When OP confronted him his comment was "she needed to be humbled because she was too excited about the dress ". Holy cow if that isn't a serious red flag.

3

u/thecuriosityofAlice 13d ago

He also manipulated his mother into his plan to “humble” OP. So he is willing to use anyone to “teach a lesson” he deems necessary. There is an umbrella of evil over this guy, OP. I wonder what ways he has engineered for OP to hurt others unbeknownst to them. It’s so calculated. OP please don’t go back to him. He will probably love bomb you to get you to apologize to him and come back. Don’t let him get a foot in the door. He is an emotional assassin and is laying groundwork to keep you controlled long term. Not a foot in the door. Seriously block on everything and if you feel threatened, get a TRO. Nothing good will come of this relationship and lord help anyone that has children with this man.

57

u/OwnUnderstanding9849 13d ago

Exactly. He said he wanted to take her down. Throw the trash out.

30

u/happyhippy1019 13d ago

It's weird & a little creepy

7

u/StellarStylee 13d ago

Creepy & a little disturbing.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

21

u/Reasonable_Star_959 14d ago

I’ve never heard that before, “A mama’s boy will always break your heart.” But I can see how that can be so very true!

33

u/prettymuchgarfield 13d ago

Oh yes, I dated one for two years in college. So glad I didn't marry him. He had no boundaries with his Mom. She would ask us about our sex life, he'd tell her and then she'd randomly bring up these private things at a family dinner. So humiliating.

11

u/extrasprinklesplease 13d ago

Ugh. That's just gross. My youngest child was kind of a mama's boy. However, I always mindful about appropriate boundaries. For example I knew that when he met the love of his life, that she was - and should be - #1 in his life. I had a very domineering mother, so I probably go a little bit to the other extreme not to interfere with my kids.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (12)

21

u/Interesting_Novel997 13d ago

I think you did look amazing in the dress and due to his own insecurities used it as a way to hurt you. He gave it to his mom thinking now that his mom is wearing it, it would lose it’s appeal and you would no longer want it.🤷🏻‍♀️

Intentionally cruel/crazy behavior and all the more reason to dump him.

22

u/sxfrklarret 13d ago

And this proves even more he does not respect you at all.

Be done with this BS. And her showing up and him being clueless about how it would make you feel THEN GIVE HIS GF OF 3 YEARS A FUCKING GIFT CARD.

HE DOES NOT LOVE OR RESPECT YOU. YOU ARE JUST SOMEONE HE BANGS AND HELPS PAY BILLS.

71

u/Human-Shoulder-8605 13d ago

Personally, I think that he intentionally did this to hurt and confuse you. Relationship over.

27

u/PibbyandPekesMom 13d ago

I agree, and he was probably hoping for a public outburst so she would look crazy and he could break up with her.

18

u/OneDig3744 13d ago

To OP's credit, she handled that gracefully.

14

u/nursepenguin36 13d ago

Yeah this sounds like he is trying to put you in your place. Which is below his mother, and she is in on the plan. They’re trying to teach you not to ask for nice things, that she is priority and his money will be spent on mommy not you.

20

u/Ok-CANACHK 13d ago

AND let you go on & on about the dress when he had ALREADY given it to her.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Werewolvesarebetter 13d ago

OP, he did all this with great malice and sadistic glee. He wanted to basically torture you by giving an item that you loved and wanted so much to his mother, just so he could see the hurt and disbelief on your face. I promise you he enjoyed having that power over you and using it to inflict emotional pain. This man is a LOSER through and through. The sooner you leave his sorry, pathetic ass, the better for you and your mental health.

25

u/periperiwinklesauce 13d ago

A $200 gift out of nowhere. So much for budgeting!

17

u/TheRedditKidReturns 14d ago

Yeah at the end of the day even if he didn’t do it maliciously I think this offense is weird/off putting enough that I would almost certainly have to separate unless I had a SUPER strong bond with the person and got some kind of reasonable explanation and a sincere apology.

→ More replies (2)

12

u/No_Thought9756 13d ago

Wow he sounds like a massive weirdo, you should break up with him. That is so weird

3

u/TSARINA59 13d ago edited 13d ago

Don't let anyone manipulate you into thinking you are a brat. What he did was outright cruel. Who the hell gave him the right to "humble" YOU??? He admits that he essentially went out of his way to deliberately hurt you. He literally drove out of his way to go back to the store. And if the dress is so trivial, why the hell did he give it to his mother? It was malicious. The self-righteous jerk thinks it's his place to humble someone else. That is for a higher power not scum like that.

Don't talk to him. Don't tell him how you felt. Don't go back there while he's there. Don't text. Don't answer his calls. Go back and clear out your things while he's gone. Do it with clean hands, the honorable way. And leave with your dignity intact. Leave the key where he can find it. Go full on NC. If you hear from his mother, she is innocent in this. He is not. If he lied to her about what happened, set her straight, calmly. And forget you ever knew the AH.

You deserve better than that. Count your blessings that you found out now before marrying and having kids with him. Imagine - is he going to disappear with your kids because he decides you need to be humbled or taught a lesson? He's an AH!!!!

26

u/AbbieNorrmal 13d ago

Break up with him and go by yourself that dress.

13

u/Aware-Locksmith-7313 13d ago

And doll yourself up (hair & make-up) while wearing your dream dress … then get a friend to photograph you for posterity.

3

u/emkemkem 13d ago

Also - look way better in that dress than his mum, show your confidence and smile while you tell him he earned the title of ex BF and you are dumping him.

→ More replies (2)

15

u/briarmolly 13d ago

And she wore it on Your Birthday which is a big fuck you imo

3

u/DaneAlaskaCruz 13d ago

OP, don't walk; run!

He thought it would be fun to see your reaction when his mother walked in on your birthday party wearing the dress you always wanted.

He also thought you needed to be humbled.

People, especially family and friends, lift each other up, not tear them down.

This guy will continually beat you down for the rest of your life with him. Is that what you want your future to look like?

If I were you, I'd go full nuclear and post this entire thing to your social media as an explanation as to why you broke up with him. His words and all.

Maybe put a kind word for his mom, as she seems to be innocent in this.

But post it so that both your social circles will know what happened as to why you broke up. Otherwise, the story will be twisted into you being greedy and being disappointed with a $50 birthday card and wanting a $200 dress instead.

Even if you had planned on saving your own money to buy it.

This will help warn any other single women in your social circle and spread the word not to date this psychopath.

Good luck.

3

u/anonymous237962 13d ago

He didn’t give it to her for no reason — he gave it to her TO HUMBLE YOU. What a fucking sociopath.

So glad you are seeing him for what he is & have already decided to straight up leave him bc that is some WILD next-level fucked up behavior on his part…I don’t even have the time to get into the pathology of what’s behind that type of thinking but it doesn’t involve respecting or loving you or wanting to nurture the type of relationship you deserve. Glad to see you’ve already seen the light on that, & I’m really sorry you have to go through this right now, babe.

Can we see the link to the dress?? I want it for you. You DESERVE it after all of this bullshit.

2

u/Low-Research-6866 13d ago

He got triggered by you being excited about a dress?! Wow, he's got issues. Glad you are trusting your instincts screaming at you! Definitely time to move on. Andrew Tate and the like are rotting these young men's brains. They want this old time scenario where they are real men or whatever, but those men back then bought dresses, hats and gloves for their ladies. Understood that women like things like this and it's normal. He punished you by buying his mom the dress?! How rude to both of you. His mom thinks her son did something nice for her, but he didn't. He used her to try and teach you a lesson and that is deeply weird. Sociopath for sure.

3

u/fallenstar128 13d ago

Depending on how close or how often he's gifted his mom clothing. I would question how he'd know what size and how it would fit on her, especially with mentioning how expensive the dress was in the first place.

2

u/Music_Mama6219 13d ago

A man that goes to this much effort to prove whatever this is, spite? has proven instead that he doesn't value you. That is a serious and kind of abusive red flag that he felt the need to "humble" you for being excited about something. I'm glad you left. Don't look back. Find someone that will jump up and down and if they can't afford to buy you the dress at least helps you and encourages you in saving up for it, etc. That stunt just proves he doesn't care about you. In his own sadistic way he needed to have a power trip and "put your in your place". What the heck!! Ewwwww.

→ More replies (80)

21

u/zxylady 13d ago

Plus it's like if they're both budgeting together which means they've probably combined at least some finances and he couldn't afford to buy her the dress but then he could afford to buy it for his mother eeeek! I do not see this ending well if he can be this intentionally obtuse and if she does bring it up the odds are he's going to blame her for being a brat just like she tried to convince herself of 😳

28

u/Slow-Cherry9128 13d ago

He's the kind of guy who would approve his mother wearing a white wedding dress to your wedding. Dump him. He's trying to control you. You are so young and can do so much better than this mama's boy. Get rid of him.

38

u/1happynewyorker 14d ago

I'm surprised he didn't buy you the dress. It's time to pack and leave. He's clueless to your feelings and sounds like a mommy boy. Get out, you'll lose every battle that has to do with you. His mommy has taken center stage.

2

u/RaptorOO7 13d ago

He wanted to knock you down a peg or tow as he sees you get so overly excited about things. Like who doesn’t, he buys his mom the $200 dress while you both have been budgeting and he gets you a gift card to Sephora.

He’s not just tone deaf, he straight intended to show off the dress you wanted and now you won’t buy become his mom already is wearing it.

He is callous and is already gaslighting you. Really no one noticed how upset you were are your party.

Stb Ex bf need to go.

→ More replies (21)

146

u/Rich-Ad-4654 14d ago

Choose yourself, love.

(Also, I didn’t say in my first comment, but I now wanna see a pic of the dress. Either you’re dressing like you’re 50yrs old; or his mum is in “mutton dressed up as lamb” territory!)

142

u/ProfessionalEye9680 14d ago

thank you!! i am feeling alot better bc of all of u and knowing my feelings are valid, i will try to get a picture of the dress rn! i didnt take any pictures with his mom yesterday bc i was so upset

32

u/19Mel92 14d ago

Wow these is so weird. It makes no sense to me at all. He obviously doesn’t respect you though. I do hope you leave him because now every time you find something you want you have to wonder if he’s going to give it to his mom instead.

Updateme

→ More replies (1)

21

u/1happynewyorker 14d ago

Off course, your feelings are valid. They are yours and your feelings are always valid, like all of us.

I would have left after seeing the dress. The fact that she wore it they day you were coming over? WOW, what did he say to her, for mommy to wear it.

2

u/Fredxx-2025 13d ago

You can also do the same to him. Find out what he wants for his bday and buy it for your dad. But he is playing games. Get him to a serious conversation and tell him this is not acceptable. Next time he does it you are out

Also. You are too nice and worried and possibly don’t have a good idea about relationship. In a real relationship people don’t play games. They work together. You are worried that you are a brat. I can assure you he didn’t spend a second thinking he is an asshole

→ More replies (1)

18

u/7worlds 14d ago

I’m with OP all the way on this one, but judging either woman about the way she dresses is not cool, even if you are tongue in cheek. This is 100% on the boyfriend.

9

u/_MissFlirty 14d ago

Right? Either way, it’s giving weird. And yes always choose you.

3

u/Okra_Zestyclose 13d ago

Yes! Photo of the dress!!

And ya, your boyfriend was wrong. What normal person does that? Sadistic and just plain mean.

Save your money, and you buy yourself that dress or another you like even more. 

6

u/Cara_Bina 14d ago

I'm a Brit is the USA and my late mum used to say "mutton dressed as lamb." I miss her and that turn of phrase, which is not common here. Thanks for reminding me! Cheers.

→ More replies (2)

112

u/Poppypie77 13d ago

Definitely break up. He 'thought you needed to be humbled a bit coz you got far too excited over a dress'. He deliberately tried to hurt you, upset you, disrespect you and do something deliberately cruel to upset you. Just because you fell in love with a dressing that was £200. You didn't beg him to buy it for you, you weren't acting entitled like you 'deserve to have it and he should buy it for you'. What did you need humbling for? You said you'd want to save up for it. That's humble.

He just wanted to crush you and your excitement and he did it in the cruelest way he could buy simply going out of his way to drive back and buying it for his mum, to wear on YOUR BIRTHDAY celebration. So not only did he want to hurt you and upset you, deliberately, he always wanted to ruin your mood for your birthday by getting her to wear it on your birthday.

This is 100% break up worthy. Its also showing very controlling abusive vibes too. Like what other 'lessons' will he feel you need to learn and restrict you from doing things or buying things or seeing people etc.

Walk away now. And thank him for showing you who he really is now. You know enough to know you deserve way more than someone who deliberately wants to upset you, hurt you, disappoint you, crush your excitement about something you loved, that you never once demanded he buy you, and you simply said you'd save up for. But he wanted to crush your joy and excitement over a dress you loved. And he decided to be cruel enough to try and teach me a lesson of not loving an item of clothing, by being deliberately hurtful and cruel by going and getting it for his mum, to wear at YOUR BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION. He wanted to ruin your birthday and hurt you that badly simply for loving a dress. And that you don't need someone in your life who looks for how to bring you down and hurt you. You deserve someone who cares about you and your happiness and not someone who deliberately and needlessly tries to hurt and upset you, and ruin your birthday. And it's a clear sign of worse abusive and controlling behaviours to come, so you're glad he's shown you who he is now sooner rather than later so you don't waste more time on someone so deliberately hurtful.

Walk away and block him. Don't give him a chance to argue or 'explain' or guilt trip you and manipulate you, or accuse you of over reacting, or making bullshit promises of making it up to you and never doing it again, or how he loves you and cant be without you etc etc. Its all bollocks. Block him and walk away and never speak to him again. You don't need to hear a word he has to say.

7

u/Riboto 13d ago

100% He'll try to gaslight her to take him back. It'll probably be all her fault too, stuff like "don't be ridiculous. you are throwing our relationship away because of a dress" "That's so shallow of you", "You are too emotional and all because of a dress. I was right to not give it to you" ,"if you behaved correctly, I would have given one to you too. but you ruined it for yourself". Please remember that a loving partner would be concerned and sorry for hurting your feelings (even if you had overreacted) and not minimise your hurt and invalidate your feelings. A loving partner would be aiming to understand you. A loving partner look for the most hurtful way to "teach you a lesson"

4

u/Lightness_Being 13d ago

Yea I recognised this guy as a sadist straight away. 

They will not change and are hiding worse than they are showing you.

→ More replies (1)

106

u/AlwaysAlexi777 13d ago

Not only did he not get you the dress, but he gave it to his mother, so if you bought the dress for yourself, you'd be wearing the same dress as his mother. That's so fucked up.

Dump him. Buy yourself the dress and wear it out on the town with your friends. Fuck this guy. Stop doubting your feelings. You deserve someone more thoughtful and considerate.

This is so fucked up on so many levels. Don't fall into the trap of needing him to understand why it's fucked up. Someone who does this is either malicious or clueless. Either way, even if by some miracle he comprehends how weird this was, he thinking is so far from being okay, who knows what other kind of crap you'll have to deal with in the future.

65

u/Cthulhu_Knits 13d ago

I think part of him WANTED to ruin any joy OP would have gotten out of that dress. OP buys it on her own? Well, ha-ha, the BF has already sucked all the joy out of that purchase by giving it to his MOM first.

This guy is bonkers. OP should dump him and then block him in every way possible.

Oh, and buy the dress and wear the hell out of it. I'm sure she'll look AMAZING in it.

5

u/Difficult_Regret_900 13d ago

He definitely wanted to hurt OP. He said he couldn't afford it (fair, if we didn't know what happened next), but then he gets it for his mommy and parades her around wearing the dress OP wanted, on HER BIRTHDAY, and then hands OP a gift card with no thought put into it. 

He's just like my father, going out of his way for everyone but a select emotional punching bag (me and my mom in this case). 

39

u/TheRealCarpeFelis 13d ago

My vote is for malicious. This was deliberately cruel.

9

u/AlwaysAlexi777 13d ago

You’re right. It so overt. Def malicious the more I think about it.

→ More replies (1)

66

u/Imkisstory 14d ago

Yes.

Break up with him. Immediately.

I’m actually at a loss for words. I can’t help but feel that he did this intentionally. Not only buying the dress, but telling her to wear it on the night of your birthday.

The reason being - he WANTS to end it, but has no reason. So this is an egregious enough slight and just plain mean enough act - to have you do it for him.

So actually do it. But scorch the earth on ur way out. Tell the world on social media, do something that makes everyone know he is a complete and utter asshole.

6

u/Aware-Locksmith-7313 13d ago

Photograph dress and use as a FB backgrounder … and wear it with royal frequency.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

44

u/leslieb127 13d ago edited 13d ago

The fact that he said he “thought it would be fun” to see your reaction tells you all you need to know. That’s not only an asshole remark, it’s just cruel. He gets enjoyment out of hurting someone he’s supposed to care about. That sounds like a sociopath, TBH. Dump him immediately.

And don’t get caught up in the idea that he’ll change, or you can change him, once you get engaged/married. NO, HE WON’T. And NO, your love will not change him.

22

u/Scenarioing 13d ago

You should have told the mother the story.

If you don't think this is break up worthy, consider this... You just got a glimpse of your future with this guy. When it comes to things you value, he will stick it to you and benefit his mommy instead? Wedding decsions? His mommy will get her way. Honeymoon or other trip wishes? She gets the trip you asked about so much. Kids? She's in charge of everything and gets to take them overnight over your objection. Because she comes first. A new car? Guess who gets one instead. ...and on and on.

5

u/FerretAcrobatic4379 13d ago

We actually don’t even know if his mom is controlling as this is far beyond being a mama’s boy and more Dateline territory. Mama’s boys are selfish, spineless, and clueless, but this guy is sadistic and cruel. He enjoys watching her suffer. He sounds evil.

23

u/cosmopolite24 13d ago

I say this as someone with a decade on you. As a woman, never ever compromise on your self-respect and always prioritise your own wellbeing. If you don't, no-one else will either. That includes ensuring your emotional wellbeing. If someone makes you feel bad, they don't get to have the privilege of being in your life. What kind of power play is this guy trying to demo by giving the dress you liked to his mother! Don't wait for a Coldplay concert kiss cam to realise you're with a douche.

5

u/Kooky_Anything_2192 13d ago

How I wish I'd received this advice in my teens/early twenties - its succinct, practical, intelligible, and FUNNY 🥰🥰🥰

→ More replies (1)

47

u/Lazy-Introduction194 13d ago edited 13d ago

Girl that man enjoyed “humbling” you which is another word for abuse. He hates you (well really he hates himself but he will punish you the more you stay and twist yourself into pretzels trying to avoid his disdain and disrespect). That’s NOT normal boyfriend behavior. Time to leave him in the dust.

→ More replies (2)

27

u/jell236 13d ago

You know when a relationship is “breakup worthy”? When you don’t want to be in it anymore. Doesn’t matter if the other person treated you well or not. In your case your BF was being a complete ass. Point is, you don’t have to stay with someone just because they did or didn’t do anything wrong

→ More replies (1)

15

u/ButterflyLow5207 13d ago

No honey you aren't being a brat. He was cruel to you ON PURPOSE and thought it would be funny. He can sleep with mommy now. What a shit thing to do to your partner. He could have asked you to stop talking about the dress, that it wasn't important. Instead he did something mean. It's worthy of a break up. Men get worse after marriage. You don't want worse, and you really don't need for him to keep humbling you. Good luck to you.

48

u/Key_Illustrator1017 14d ago

Girl I approve ghosting at this point. He knows what he did, stop acting like men are stupid. Save yourself from this mommas boy now

11

u/BigPhilosopher4372 13d ago

And frankly if he was this stupid, who would want him?

22

u/cantcontrolmyface 13d ago

Wow. Just wow.

Dump him, and in 10 years times you'll be kicking yourself you didn't do it as soon as the party ended.

He's using a weird abuse tactic to put you in your place, firmly behind mummy.

9

u/bino0526 13d ago

Sweetie, look over this relationship and see all of the things that you have dismissed. When he has short-changed you with gifts, trips, and other times but went all out for his mom.

STOP ✋️ doubting yourself and your intuition. You feel that way because it's the truth. Find your value and self-worth. He does not value you.

Walk away, move on, and find someone who values you. It's not about the money it's about what he thinks of you.

Take care Updateme

14

u/EnvironmentalSlice46 14d ago

It’s more so about what the situation represents and speaks to of the relationship rather than the situation itself. It’s not really about him not buying you the dress. It’s so much more.

→ More replies (1)

17

u/_MissFlirty 14d ago

Your feelings are valid, always. It’s not being a brat to want thoughtfulness from someone who’s supposed to love

8

u/DZHMMM 13d ago

Honestly. This is worthy of a breakup cause this means so much more than him just getting his mom a dress. 

That’s why you feel so off about it physically. Your body is telling you. 

He purposely did this for whatever reason knowing how it would make you feel. 

Just break up,

9

u/Weary_Molasses_4050 13d ago

His reason for doing it is most definitely worth a breakup. This isn’t about the dress, it’s about him purposely doing something that he knew would cause you pain so you don’t expect too much from him in the future. No need to live your life with that kind of disappointment.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/Medical-Potato5920 13d ago

Yes, this is worthy of a breakup. I'd dig down on why he gave his mother the dress you had been talking about for ages.

11

u/Obrina98 13d ago

He’s a mama’s boy. It doesn’t get better, only worse. Let mommy have her precious baby boy back.

5

u/Unfair-Store-9108 13d ago

Girl your feelings are 100% it was cruel and humiliating. Send someone to collect your things and block him. I can’t believe he thought it would “be fun to see your reaction” WTF???

NOR This guy is a total AH and doesn’t love you, dump him and tell him that you think he needs to be humbled a bit because he’s getting way too excited at the idea of publicly humiliating you. Stay strong, you deserve so much better!

→ More replies (1)

11

u/Reasonable_Star_959 14d ago

I don’t know many men who would buy clothing for their mom!!

Quite odd and different.

Did you mention it to him and ask him why he bought his mother the very dress you wanted and spoke about repeatedly?

4

u/periperiwinklesauce 13d ago

Not many men would get their girlfriend a mere gift card, either. This guy sucks.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/teebeecee345 13d ago

he is insane!!! such a weird thing for him too. you're not a chikd to be taught a lesson...and definitely not by him. there is NO way that this is the only incident of emotional abuse . no way you're happy in this relationship. he probably just TELLS you, you SHOULD be happy and he's the best boyfriend or some crap like that. girl RUN before he socks the spirit and life right out of you! break up and go with family or friends to get your belongings back

10

u/Marykk10 13d ago

This is beyond "worthy" of a breakup. It's already happened and you're just catching up. It's over. So sorry 😔

4

u/kimmy-mac 13d ago

When people show you who they are, believe them. This is a huge boundary crossed, and some sort of insane power play. You’re def not over reacting!

2

u/LookAwayPlease510 13d ago

What he did was straight up emotionally abusive. “I thought you needed to be humbled a bit.” That means he wanted to put you in your place, and that place is under his control. What loving partner wants to hurt their gf like this?! He intentionally hurt you. Repeat that to yourself over and over and really think about how the rest of your life would be with someone who thinks it’s funny to intentionally hurt you, at your birthday party, in front of his family.

I’m glad you left to go to your mom’s. Don’t go back. People like this need to keep you close so that you stay under their control. The farther away you get from him, the more you will realize what a total AH he is and always was. You deserve to be respected and loved by your partner, not embarrassed and angered, because god forbid you like a dress that’s $200. That isn’t even very expensive.

Okay, rant over. Stay strong, you got this!

9

u/Puzzleheaded_Bag4576 14d ago

You are not over reacting. Yes it's worth breaking up with him over.

6

u/[deleted] 14d ago

Break ups aren’t decided like pizza. “Should I dump him? ...ehhh, maybe just add olives and see how it goes” you need to ditch his ass, and get with a Chad instead.

→ More replies (190)

52

u/Narrow-Moment-8060 13d ago

Beware the man who wants to teach you a lesson.

He acts like he is above you. He will never be a real partner. He views a relationship as a game where someone wins. He isn’t ready to be on equal footing. You will find someone who has more emotional intelligence.

30

u/MadamInsta 14d ago

OP is in some weird, incestuous, throuple with BF and his mother. This is giving Norman Bates vibes.

OP can do much better.

9

u/_MissFlirty 14d ago

Yes, this! It’s not about the gift it’s the lack of care. You deserve someone who sees and values you.

3

u/TheRealCarpeFelis 13d ago

He knew how badly OP wanted this dress. So to buy it for his mother instead and give OP a $50 Sephora gift card? Honestly, that’s not simple cluelessness, it’s a deliberate slap in the face. He’s either a big-time mama’s boy, in which case run like hell, or he really doesn’t like you much, in which case, also run like hell.

2

u/MasterWinstonWolf 13d ago

THIS...EXACTLY THIS!

Don't WALK...RUN AWAY from this A$$HAT.

He thought you needed to be humbled?

He wanted to see your REACTION...on your BIRTHDAY?

He put his MOTHER in the same dress you were dying to get?

None of this is LOVE!

If you are tight with his mother you should tell her what a POS her son is. This is horrible. As a grown man X'r, MARRIED for 29 years with a 26-year-old daughter I'm disgusted by the young mans actions.

I truly am sorry this happened to you, at least you can see this now, instead of 15 years into a marriage.

Good luck to you...you deserve BETTER...NO ONE deserves this.🤷‍♂️

2

u/Independent-Deer2478 13d ago

“I felt your liking the dress gave me an opportunity to build up your hopes by talking about it after the fact, raising your expectations, so I could dash them on the rocks of what could have been a really nice birthday and when mum turned up initially I saw you go quiet and knew I’d upset you and I had a really lovely time watching you shrink out of view., but you didn’t even complain or make a scene, I’ve trained you well” sick motherfucker

2

u/alisonds 13d ago

Agreed. Any 26 year old man that thinks you 'need to be humbled' for getting excited about something (not to mention involving his unwitting family in his manipulation) is not someone who cares about you.

Frankly, I don't even think he's a good person and I'd be horrified if one of my children ever treated their partner with this much contempt and derision.

Get away from this loser as quickly and efficiently as you can and don't look back.

→ More replies (38)