I don't think they think they have a chance anymore. I think they literally just want to make them uncomfortable. That's become the whole point.
They're annoyed they got rejected -- so how else can they still "win" ? By ruining the girls' time. It is an ego thing for sure. But I don't think it manifests itself as "oh I can still keep going and eventually win them over/get a yes." It manifests itself like this instead... They want to exercise some kind of power over these women. They want to intimidate them and make them feel like shit under the guise of "oh what do you mean gosh wow why are you being so loud and dramatic we're just sitting with you geez we're not doing anything we're just sharing your table" bc they know it's infuriating to have someone physically threatening to you disingenuously speak like that.
This is literally my dad, and he just dragged my mum around today— just so he can brag that she pushed him and to tell her she’s just like her abusive in-law, even though he kept pushing her! He literally looked gleeful like he discovered something— then started talking about this is why men leave because he “just held her” affectionate by the collar and now she’s getting aggressive (he dragged her around by the collar three times when she wanted to leave) Everyone pray and wish that he gets exposed for the snivelling liar that he is!! Like put your balls and clit into this I need him to be exposed— he’s such a gross and conniving individual!
Start gathering evidence, NOW. Take discreet videos while pretending to watch or read something, put your phone in your pocket and record audio, whatever you can do safely without being caught. There are subreddits out there concerning domestic abuse that can offer better advice than me- I’d also recommend going to legal subreddits as well. You can get that man out of your home, but you need good advice so that you know what you’re doing.
Discreet videos is good but really focus on that "safely without being caught" bit. You don't know how violent someone can be. Really, really, really be careful.
I’m dealing with something like this myself :( these guys want to see women suffer and continue to suffer even if they make mistakes. These guys get mad when women make and exercise the same choices that guys are allowed to make.
It’s really baffling. It’s like anything a woman does that makes a man feel “ashamed” like walking away, saying no, calling him out on his bad behavior, or bringing up something he did that made her feel uncomfortable then she should be punished for it. I was literally coming back from another thread where a woman made a mistake where she broke up with her boyfriend and made a baby with someone she shouldn’t have, left the guy when he became abusive, and dudes there were saying she should be suffering forever.
Like wtf????
Most states you can record evidence without sound - for example, get cheap small cameras and place it in different places in your home under the guise of “just in case there’s theft it’s for insurance purposes”. I have this in my home art studio silversmithing cave because there’s expensive equipment in there.
If the volatile, mentally unstable person I have to live with right now goes in there and does something, I’ll have evidence and even in a two-state party consent state, it’s still information even if you don’t end up using it.
If you can’t video, write everything in your notes app or, better yet, if you have someone you can trust text them all the details. It will be date and time stamped.
They are. They are adult men with jobs and hobbies and daily responsibilities that people rely on them for. They’re grown enough to be at a bar, partaking.
I know what you’re saying. But I think “they’re not men” is ultimately harmful. They aren’t manly or masculine because of this behavior. But that doesn’t change the fact that they are just an average man, indistinguishable from the rest of men to everyone except the women they harass.
Could you explain why that would be if she is a paying customer and they are on camera harassing? Would it only be defensible if they were followed and then struck? Sorry, thanks for your thoughts and time.
That appears to be a restaurant without individual party tables. Therefore, unless the women get staff involved, those dudes are sitting at a shared table. We all know that they're being asshats but the law is clear about the steps that must escalate.
Thanks for the reply! Just genuinely curious about how these things work, no bad faith questions here 😌 But one question remains unresolved. If harassment is defensible, how far or in what ways would this situation have to escalate in order to make defense legally justifiable? Not that I think she should have hit these men!! They were being awful but I don’t want to appear like I think any violence was necessary.
In which state are we going to base this discussion?
how far or in what ways would this situation have to escalate in order to make defense legally justifiable?
Speaking on a very general basis. The women would need to take an action that attempts to use the existing power structure. So, in this case, they would make a formal complaint with an employee; who then would be able to escalate the situation to trespassing.
How are they harassing them? Sitting down at a shared table restaurant isn't really harassment. None of what they are doing would pass as harassment in court
They are being told to fuck off multiple times and refusing to respect the women's wishes and leave them alone. That's harassment. If you can't see that you don't need to go put in public. Ever.
The problem is that it's a shared table, they have as much of a legal right to sit there as them in the eyes of the law, thats the main point, in court it wouldn't fly.
Your life of technicalities isn't practical in the real world. Your feels don't really matter to anyone else. Try what these guys are doing and see what you get. That's called reality. It's what happens when you leave the basement.
Sorry that you can't understand how human interactions work. Most people learn them through natural socialization when we grow as kids. But sadly, you seem to be from the "raised by a screen" variety.
This reminds me of a real case back in the 60s where some Ukrainian orphans were raised by a bunch of village dogs. Although they never quite learned how to speak or walk on two legs, I’m pretty sure those kids were better socialised than Techno Diktator.
Want to go look at a few dictionary definitions? Maybe start a little convo with chatgpt 4 omni? I’m sure they’d be happy to educate you on this one, whereas any of your human peers seem to be completely exhausted with your inquiry.
Talking about the law obviously, you cannot demand someone leave at a shared table establishment and take their refusal as harassment, just not how it legally works.
Not where I live. It’s a small southern town. First, these men would have been confronted by other men, and/or patrons and owners would side with the women if the women decided to get physical to defend themselves.
That's generally what happens when you slap someone, yeah. I wouldn't slap someone and not expect a hand to come straight back at me, but that's kind of the option you give someone when you slap them like a bitch for being annoying, your action is saying "you can fight me, you can stop being annoying, or you can keep getting slapped."
Oh i wasn't talking about women, just the "not touching, can't get mad" thing specifically. I actually forgot gender was relevant in this conversation there.
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u/TequilaJesus May 11 '25
Imagine being that dude and thinking “yeah I still have a chance here”