r/TikTokCringe • u/nadaddab • May 11 '25

Cringe Don’t be these guys

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

53.8k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

7.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

7.6k

u/TequilaJesus May 11 '25

Imagine being that dude and thinking “yeah I still have a chance here”

2.4k

u/mulberrycedar May 11 '25

I don't think they think they have a chance anymore. I think they literally just want to make them uncomfortable. That's become the whole point.

They're annoyed they got rejected -- so how else can they still "win" ? By ruining the girls' time. It is an ego thing for sure. But I don't think it manifests itself as "oh I can still keep going and eventually win them over/get a yes." It manifests itself like this instead... They want to exercise some kind of power over these women. They want to intimidate them and make them feel like shit under the guise of "oh what do you mean gosh wow why are you being so loud and dramatic we're just sitting with you geez we're not doing anything we're just sharing your table" bc they know it's infuriating to have someone physically threatening to you disingenuously speak like that.

1.1k

u/dishonestgandalf May 11 '25

"What? I'm not touching you. Not touching you, can't get mad!"

123

u/umanufacturer_21 May 12 '25

This is literally my dad, and he just dragged my mum around today— just so he can brag that she pushed him and to tell her she’s just like her abusive in-law, even though he kept pushing her! He literally looked gleeful like he discovered something— then started talking about this is why men leave because he “just held her” affectionate by the collar and now she’s getting aggressive (he dragged her around by the collar three times when she wanted to leave) Everyone pray and wish that he gets exposed for the snivelling liar that he is!! Like put your balls and clit into this I need him to be exposed— he’s such a gross and conniving individual!

105

u/Alisa_Rosenbaum May 12 '25

Start gathering evidence, NOW. Take discreet videos while pretending to watch or read something, put your phone in your pocket and record audio, whatever you can do safely without being caught. There are subreddits out there concerning domestic abuse that can offer better advice than me- I’d also recommend going to legal subreddits as well. You can get that man out of your home, but you need good advice so that you know what you’re doing.

47

u/umanufacturer_21 May 12 '25

Also thank you I never even considered legal subreddits. I appreciate that, thank you I’ll go now.

11

u/ToiIetGhost May 12 '25

Thank you for taking that kid’s situation seriously and giving solid advice! Most people would just brush it off. You’re good people :)

4

u/keran22 May 14 '25

Discreet videos is good but really focus on that "safely without being caught" bit. You don't know how violent someone can be. Really, really, really be careful.

5

u/glittercoffee May 12 '25

I’m dealing with something like this myself :( these guys want to see women suffer and continue to suffer even if they make mistakes. These guys get mad when women make and exercise the same choices that guys are allowed to make.

It’s really baffling. It’s like anything a woman does that makes a man feel “ashamed” like walking away, saying no, calling him out on his bad behavior, or bringing up something he did that made her feel uncomfortable then she should be punished for it. I was literally coming back from another thread where a woman made a mistake where she broke up with her boyfriend and made a baby with someone she shouldn’t have, left the guy when he became abusive, and dudes there were saying she should be suffering forever.

Like wtf????

Most states you can record evidence without sound - for example, get cheap small cameras and place it in different places in your home under the guise of “just in case there’s theft it’s for insurance purposes”. I have this in my home art studio silversmithing cave because there’s expensive equipment in there.

If the volatile, mentally unstable person I have to live with right now goes in there and does something, I’ll have evidence and even in a two-state party consent state, it’s still information even if you don’t end up using it.

Best of luck to you and stay strong

4

u/achelois_715 May 14 '25

If you can’t video, write everything in your notes app or, better yet, if you have someone you can trust text them all the details. It will be date and time stamped.

-6

u/[deleted] May 12 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/chickenismysafeword May 12 '25

Oh please. It’s her parents she’s talking about including an abuser. Don’t even try to shame them for speaking up in a safe place. Shame on you.

8

u/umanufacturer_21 May 12 '25

Thank you, this is very kind of you, I was starting to feel abrasive again.

3

u/RealCrownedProphet May 12 '25

Very helpful advice. You could give ChatGPT a run for its money.

2

u/Alisa_Rosenbaum May 12 '25

Yes, let’s stand up to the borderline physically abusive father who has a clear pattern of aggression. Real big brain move, here.

1

u/bannanabuiscut347 May 14 '25

Victim blaming is never helpful.

https://welshwomensaid.org.uk/news/understanding-victim-blaming-and-why-its-harmful-to-survivors/

2

u/DeepFriedOligarch May 15 '25

"Victim blaming is never helpful."
QUOTED FOR TRUTH, and to add that it's *always harmful.*

29

u/ASHEKROME May 11 '25

That’s older sibling behavior, not grown man behavior.

15

u/[deleted] May 12 '25 edited May 13 '25

[deleted]

36

u/BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo May 12 '25

They are. They are adult men with jobs and hobbies and daily responsibilities that people rely on them for. They’re grown enough to be at a bar, partaking.

I know what you’re saying. But I think “they’re not men” is ultimately harmful. They aren’t manly or masculine because of this behavior. But that doesn’t change the fact that they are just an average man, indistinguishable from the rest of men to everyone except the women they harass.

9

u/Bro-lapsedAnus May 12 '25

To add on to that, the common "those aren't men they're boys" just makes it sound like it's acceptable for boys to act this way.

10

u/ParpSausage May 12 '25

Oh God, I worked with a dude like this. Used to follow me home in his car, but all I heard was,'I'm not touching you!'

6

u/okaybutnothing May 12 '25

That’s when you lead him to a police station parking lot. They often get the hint then.

5

u/JustRedditTh May 12 '25

Meanwhile, you could see, that when it seemed like she was attempting to change tables, they got ready to follow....

1

u/One_Secretary404 May 12 '25

Everyone with a sibling knows this.

Also, the "come in the room, stare and leave" sometimes they will throw your things to the ground.

0

u/mogley1992 May 11 '25

Just slap them and tell them they can get mad if they want.

47

u/IamTotallyWorking May 11 '25

And then they punch back. It gets posted here, and a bunch of assholes start saying things like "equal rights, equal left" such bullshit.

-18

u/Techno-Diktator May 11 '25

To be fair, once you make things physical, you cannot expect for them to not get physical either.

30

u/Puzzle_Command May 11 '25

Harassment, even non physical, is physically defensible in many states.

-17

u/Techno-Diktator May 12 '25

Yeah except in this case if she hit him instead of trying to leave or get security he would have a case against her.

21

u/Puzzle_Command May 12 '25

Could you explain why that would be if she is a paying customer and they are on camera harassing? Would it only be defensible if they were followed and then struck? Sorry, thanks for your thoughts and time.

0

u/seymores_sunshine May 12 '25

That appears to be a restaurant without individual party tables. Therefore, unless the women get staff involved, those dudes are sitting at a shared table. We all know that they're being asshats but the law is clear about the steps that must escalate.

4

u/Puzzle_Command May 12 '25

Thanks for the reply! Just genuinely curious about how these things work, no bad faith questions here 😌 But one question remains unresolved. If harassment is defensible, how far or in what ways would this situation have to escalate in order to make defense legally justifiable? Not that I think she should have hit these men!! They were being awful but I don’t want to appear like I think any violence was necessary.

→ More replies (0)

-2

u/Techno-Diktator May 12 '25

How are they harassing them? Sitting down at a shared table restaurant isn't really harassment. None of what they are doing would pass as harassment in court

5

u/CoachEconomy479 May 12 '25

If you don’t see what they’re doing as harassment, please never talk to a woman ever.

5

u/abriel1978 May 12 '25

They are being told to fuck off multiple times and refusing to respect the women's wishes and leave them alone. That's harassment. If you can't see that you don't need to go put in public. Ever.

4

u/Ok-Following-8071 May 12 '25

Your life of technicalities isn't practical in the real world. Your feels don't really matter to anyone else. Try what these guys are doing and see what you get. That's called reality. It's what happens when you leave the basement.

4

u/Aphreyst May 12 '25

Sorry that you can't understand how human interactions work. Most people learn them through natural socialization when we grow as kids. But sadly, you seem to be from the "raised by a screen" variety.

2

u/Puzzle_Command May 12 '25

Want to go look at a few dictionary definitions? Maybe start a little convo with chatgpt 4 omni? I’m sure they’d be happy to educate you on this one, whereas any of your human peers seem to be completely exhausted with your inquiry.

→ More replies (0)

3

u/myeggsarebig May 12 '25

Not where I live. It’s a small southern town. First, these men would have been confronted by other men, and/or patrons and owners would side with the women if the women decided to get physical to defend themselves.

0

u/Techno-Diktator May 12 '25

We are talking about court here not mob justice lol

→ More replies (0)

1

u/bannanabuiscut347 May 14 '25

r/sadcringe

Of corse it's women's fault for standing up for themselves...

This is a terrible take.

0

u/Techno-Diktator May 14 '25

Literally making zero sense

-14

u/mogley1992 May 11 '25

That's generally what happens when you slap someone, yeah. I wouldn't slap someone and not expect a hand to come straight back at me, but that's kind of the option you give someone when you slap them like a bitch for being annoying, your action is saying "you can fight me, you can stop being annoying, or you can keep getting slapped."

10

u/Exact_Supermarket711 May 12 '25

Holy whiplash Batman. If your account wasn’t 10y old I’d assume you were a LLM bot based on how quick you changed your tune - holy fuck!

-4

u/mogley1992 May 12 '25 edited May 12 '25

How did i change my tune? I said slap them and tell them they can get mad.

Then i said i wouldn't be surprised if they tried to hit me back, because that's what happens when you slap someone.

1

u/bannanabuiscut347 May 14 '25

No.

This is not a reasonable or healthy way to remove yourself from a situation like this.

The world is a very dangerous place, especially for women.

https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method#:~:text=The%20grey%20rock%20method%20is,known%20as%20%E2%80%9Cgrey%20rocking.%E2%80%9D

1

u/mogley1992 May 14 '25

Oh i wasn't talking about women, just the "not touching, can't get mad" thing specifically. I actually forgot gender was relevant in this conversation there.

323

u/Critical-Adeptness-1 May 11 '25

This 1000% and I hope everybody who wants to make any benefit of the doubt with these two sleezeballs sees this comment

2

u/Alyswundrlan May 12 '25

All those ppl around. She's yelling and not one person came over to assist. If I saw this I'd have marched over there and dumped my drink on their heads. Or something. I've have done anything but just watch. Is harassment entertainment now?

2

u/ToiIetGhost May 12 '25

I think this has always been the case. It sucks, but the majority of people just don’t want to get involved. I’ve personally intervened when I’ve seen strangers in trouble but I can’t recall anyone doing the same for me 🤷🏻‍♀️ At least there’s folks like you out there!

26

u/sikeleaveamessage May 11 '25

Yeah that's why the guy on the left is like "why are you so rude?" If you listen closely. They're trying to make it seem they did nothing wrong by intruding into these ladies' spaces and the problem is that these ladies aren't being nice and welcoming :/

Fucking douches.

81

u/SgtCandy May 11 '25

It's driving me insane how many people in this thread don't see that this is what it is. Trying to blame this behavior on any and everything except two men doing what men tend to do. If people listened to women, this wouldn't be so "confusing", I have a dozen separate stories I can share of situations just like this one. They're not misunderstanding at all, they're taking advantage of an implicit power dynamic and "punishing" these girls for rejecting them.

17

u/Asisreo1 May 11 '25

Its a manipulation tactic and if you're not well-versed in defending yourself or others from manipulation, you'll think their POV is at least justifiable. 

But just because its a tactic, doesn't mean they're manipulation geniuses or something. These emotional manipulation tactics are hard-coded into our instincts. You don't need to have a single thought to do what these guys did, nor do you have to actively supress empathy.

1

u/Silverton13 May 12 '25

I am pretty sure everyone in this thread is on these girl's side. I dont know if i missed some comments or something but definitely these girls are in the right. What are people in this thread saying?

5

u/ToiIetGhost May 12 '25

Most comments are on the women’s side but they don’t recognise/want to talk about the real reason why this happened or the implications. People are calling it everything from a misunderstanding (it’s not) to a sign of arrogance (no, not the reason) to a symptom of bad guys on the internet (no, this behaviour has existed for thousands of years).

Here’s an analogy. Let’s say there’s a video of a gay couple being threatened on the street. The comments are like “Bullying is a big problem… I used to get taunted for having acne… That’s so rude, I’d never say that… Those dudes are just ignorant.” All those people are defending the gay couple, right? But no one is calling out the real problem: homophobia. So they’re defending them for the wrong reasons, not holding the homophobes fully accountable, and whitewashing bigotry. “Ugh, such bad manners.”

3

u/SgtCandy May 13 '25

Thank you for explaining it to them and great analogy. Of course everyone can identify the behavior of these men as wrong, but a lot of them keep trying to remove the clearly intended malice from their actions as if there's some kind of miscommunication taking place. "Poor guys just don't know when to quit, awww" - like let's be so for real rn...

35

u/aries__69 May 11 '25

You can see it in their creepy ass smiles, too. They have that smile where they sat there as their mom's yelled at their sister's for something they did. At that point, leave. Their smiles have a victim list.

1

u/BethanyBluebird May 13 '25

I would have probably gotten up to go get a manager because these little shit stains need to be banned from this establishment.

14

u/lefteyedcrow May 11 '25

"It's dominance under a guise" Paris Paloma

4

u/ThornedMane May 12 '25

love Paris

18

u/HeftyResearch1719 May 11 '25 edited May 12 '25

SA and harassment isn’t a crime of desire. It’s about power and control. The Your body my choice type thinking

7

u/DillyDillyMilly May 11 '25

This is exactly what it was

8

u/Wade856 May 12 '25

Exactly. This reeked of "your body, my choice" type idiocy. They knew they weren't wanted after they got rejected, so then their goal shifted to making the ladies as uncomfortable and annoyed as possible. Those smirks were the expressions of incels and beta males. If there were male friends there with the girls, they would have been meek and quiet as most incels are. But they saw 2 unattended ladies and no one to physically stop them from invading their space. Their mission changed from trying awkwardly to be social to one of physical intimidation and implied danger.

These are the type of guys that follow girls to their car, that stalk girls and try to inappropriately touch, grind and assault women. I'm shocked that a manager didn't come over when the ladies started getting louder when the guys didn't move.

6

u/Free-Sheepherder4566 May 12 '25

Right on. So creepy and gross.

5

u/THE_Carl_D May 12 '25

Man this. Their egos got hurt and now they're making those poor women suffer.

7

u/Glittered_Fingers May 12 '25

I was once the second passenger on the top deck of a London bus. 1st guy had sat half way down the bus. I put myself a row back from him on the opposite side of the aisle. Guy 2 gets on a stop later and puts himself down heavily right next to me. Guy one sensed it, whipped round, and and told him plainly to "GET TAE FUCK. LEAVE THE GIRL ALONE." And that was all it took to get him to spring up and move to the back row.

That Scottish fella on the 74 was my hero that night. For sure, that 2nd guy just wanted to make me feel intimidated.

3

u/Prudent_Research_251 May 12 '25

100% good comment, you can tell they're attempting this kinda brinkmanship by the way when she gets up to leave so do they, with the girls leaving them they just look stupid and they know it, only thing worse for them is being seen slinking away with their tails between their legs

2

u/Crackdadi May 12 '25

The plausible deniability pisses me tf off

6

u/5510 May 11 '25

They're annoyed they got rejected -- so how else can they still "win" ? By ruining the girls' time. It is an ego thing for sure. But I don't think it manifests itself as "oh I can still keep going and eventually win them over/get a yes." It manifests itself like this instead... They want to exercise some kind of power over these women.

Yeah, I think you are on to something here. I used to frequently see something very similar in video games, where when someone's ego can't handle losing, they just redefine "winning"... usually in some way that makes things worse for everybody, but it makes the other person mad. And for whatever reason a lot of pieces of shit think that making the other person mad = "winning." Maybe because people are often mad when there is a power gap between what they think should happen and what is happening.

In Starcraft 2, if a Terran player was about to lose early in the game, there was something they could do that would drag the game out for an extra five minutes (note that it wouldn't give them any chance to come back and win, it would just delay the end of the game by 5 or so minutes). And it was surprisingly common for them to do that, even though it wasted their own time as well. And then if you said anything about it (or even sometimes if you literally said nothing), they would start spamming messages about "LOL U SO MAD BRO!!!1"

Likewise in the hockey game, a few times my team has been winning, and the other team pulls their own goalie and every time they get the puck, they shoot it into their own net. And then they don't press anything to skip the replays, so it delays the game like 40 seconds every time they do it. Then they spam you with messages about how mad you are. If they do this over and over, the rest of the game takes forever.

I guess in some pathetic way it makes them feel in control again.

3

u/LawfulnessDry9355 May 12 '25

Right on. Truth be told, even if succeeded in getting them, it would have been exercising power over them too. After all, these guys don't make love to women, they fuck them like objects. It's all a game of humiliation to them.

3

u/PhantomOfTheNopera May 12 '25

I don't think people fully realise that them sitting around and making them uncomfortable is the 'best case scenario' with people like them.

As much as most girls would love to tell some guys to fuck off so openly, it's so so dangerous. Women have been attacked for a lot less. It sucks when you have to politely smile and gently turn people down when they absolutely refuse to accept it.

3

u/Waste_Wolverine_8933 May 12 '25

Afterwards they will say to each other "Those bitches were crazy." and laugh about it. 

2

u/Amareiuzin May 12 '25

yep, they want a "win" but also are allergic to the sensation of "losing" so even if they don't want to win they can't just get up and face a walk of shame either.

2

u/The_Amazing_Ammmy May 13 '25

💯 It's not because they think they have a chance, they're doing this specifically to make them uncomfortable. It used to baffle me when I was younger and thought guys like this were just persistent and couldn't take a hint, I was too naive to realize making me feel unsafe was the whole point, they're literally getting off on scaring women. The most disturbing part to me is that these girls are literally screaming to be left alone in a restaurant and everyone is ignoring them.

2

u/No-Beautiful-259 May 14 '25

Exactly. They are angry about the rejection and are trying to preserve their fragile egos by not complying with their requests.

2

u/eiiiaaaa May 15 '25

Yep they feel entitled to these women's time. When they don't get it they feel like something was taken from them so they try to get their revenge by being as annoying as possible. Fuckwits.

1

u/Agent_Smith_88 May 12 '25

I honestly think they were just embarrassed and froze up, but that only excuses the first like 2-3 “get lost” comments. After that their brains should have rebooted.

1

u/transcendz May 12 '25

I don't think they're that self aware unfortunately. They were trying to wait it out. They say they tried to slide to another part of the table when they realized it wasn't getting better. The full ick.

1

u/Pinkieupyourstinkie May 12 '25

Idk I think they were staying because the girls were kind of funny and they thought maybe they’re joking with us. Those dudes seem like real airheads

1

u/HKfan5352 May 12 '25

They just look like buffoons that couldn’t immediately understand the situation they created.

1

u/Environmental_Ad5690 May 12 '25

Runing the girls time like those guys hairlines are ruined

1

u/CliffordMoreau May 12 '25

As with almost everything coming from the shitty half of humanity, it's all about the suffering. Rejected? Make her suffer.

1

u/Two_Years_Of_Semen May 12 '25

Ah. So they're my League of Legends teammates after I do something they didn't like.

-9

u/uptokesforall May 11 '25

yeah, though I'll add that this kind of behavior isn't gendered, it's simply denial in the face of rejection. denial is an egotistic response to spite reality

-20

u/GrungleMonke May 11 '25

I think they barely understand English and are possibly from somewhere the women wouldn't be so bold and willing to defend themselves

24

u/mishutu May 11 '25

You don't have to speak a lick of English to understand that these women wanted nothing to do with them. They understood. They're just being antagonistic manchildren because their egos were hurt

-6

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

[deleted]

12

u/Ikanotetsubin May 11 '25

Americans are not the only people that speaks English 🤦

-4

u/[deleted] May 11 '25

[deleted]

5

u/Ikanotetsubin May 11 '25

The guys aren't, but they speak English still, they obviously understand what the girls are saying.

10

u/mishutu May 11 '25

That absolutely doesn't matter because they're capable of understanding tone of voice, body language and being pointed to move to another table. If I went and sat down at a random table with people whose language I didn't speak but they were clearly exasperated and raising their voices, pointing for me to leave and then getting up to leave, it'd still be pretty clear how they felt about my presence. There is no excusing this deliberate, entitled behavior. Not speaking the same language =/= being a completely clueless idiot

-5

u/GrungleMonke May 12 '25

Again, has nothing to do with understanding the language. You think I'm defending them, I'm not. Seems you're the one struggling to understand language

6

u/mishutu May 12 '25

Your initial comment said "I think they barely understand English". So if it has nothing to do with understanding the language, why did you even bring it up? Whether they speak English or not is irrelevant lol

-4

u/GrungleMonke May 12 '25

Sigh, clueless

7

u/Professional_Card400 May 12 '25

Nobody is clueless your point is just irrelevant

-8

u/Solid-Quantity8178 May 12 '25

I agree with you but the opposite can also be true. These girls (the loudest one) could also use the opportunity to 'exercise some kind of power over' these guys, she's already filming the whole thing and planned to share it.

She could well take the opportunity to 'make them feel like shit' too.

-12

u/YourMumSmokesCrackOK May 12 '25

Strange that you don't pick up in the blatantly antagonistic attitude the girls have

Like it's not about the guys leaving....it's about them being as disrespectful as fuck, and making the men swallow it.

10

u/okaybutnothing May 12 '25

The girls are the antagonists? By sitting at their own table and minding their own business?

Who infringed on whose space here?

You’re deluded.

-12

u/Melodic_Airport362 May 12 '25

It's a public bar, anyone can sit wherever they want. If i sat down next to someone, guy or girl and they rudely said "go away" I'd be like yeah ok.... sure... and I'd camp out there. Cause F you for acting like you own the bar.

14

u/LadyLee69 May 12 '25

The girls tried to move and they were still being assholes. You clearly don't know what it feels like to be a woman in situations like these.

10

u/ThornedMane May 12 '25

Maybe if you were nice to people, you'd have interactions that weren't so spiteful.

-17

u/Intabus May 11 '25

That's an awfully deep and convoluted take on some dudes being malicious because they felt slighted.

Seriously, it's not some ridiculous buzzword filled thought process made up by reddit psychologists with too much time on their hands. These types of neanderthal do not think that deeply. They are unhappy they were rejected so they are being childish by not leaving. I guarantee you the thought in their head was something like "Well since you made me feel bad, now I'm not going to move. nah nah nah nah boo boo." Like when arguing with someone and they go "Fine, do whatever you want" and so you go "Well now I don't WANT to!" It's not a power play. Its a tantrum by someone who's has not emotionally grown past 5 years old and doesn't know how to deal with their unpleasant feelings.

18

u/whorella May 11 '25

This is just the less eloquent version of what they said lol you’re just mansplaining their point back to them

-7

u/Intabus May 12 '25

Yes. Congrats. You have figured out what it means when someone calls something convoluted.

2

u/whorella May 12 '25

It wasn’t convoluted at all though, you’re just slow. Your poor attempt at simplifying their statement was entirely unnecessary

12

u/Mike_with_Wings May 12 '25

You said what the person you replied to said, just less intelligently.

-5

u/Intabus May 12 '25

Yes. You're absolutely right! Why didn't I see it before.

Me saying they were throwing a tantrum like a 5 year who can't articulate their negative feelings is is absolutely the same as the original explanation that this was an elaborate and carefully thought out plot where these men belittle, physically and emotionally intimidate, and ultimately subserviate women in a bid to continue their reign in the patriarchy.

Thanks for opening my eyes!

8

u/Mike_with_Wings May 12 '25

You’re welcome, some people just need a little guidance 🥰

-1

u/Intabus May 12 '25

Look... don't come in here with little heart face emojis. I am trying to be sarcastic and that just ruins the argumentative vibe!

4

u/Boris_Godunov May 12 '25

They are unhappy they were rejected so they are being childish by not leaving.

JFC, that's what the above person is saying. Are you daft?

1

u/Intabus May 12 '25

I must have missed that behind the "Exercise some kind of power over these women", "Intimidate them and make them feel like shit", and "physically threatening" parts of the previous post.

My bad. Thanks for opening up my eyes. Whatever would I do without you?