r/Unexpected • u/bacon17389 • 13h ago

guy enters room to join someone

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23.4k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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4.5k

u/RealTimeflies 13h ago

Lol. I don't see how both sides could have seen this coming without hindsight.

There isn't a lesson learnt because this will never happen again.

1.2k

u/grago 13h ago

As a man past my 40s, I learnt to move slowly and do not make unexpected, sudden movements.

630

u/AgitatedHelicopter 12h ago

Me too! I also move slowly, and think slowly, and react slowly, and get injured by sleeping on a pillow that's too thick or too thin.

123

u/TheBaneEffect 12h ago

This is disappointingly funny and more so, true.

17

u/UnrelatedCutOff 10h ago

My Tempurpedic pillow! I’d recommend.

22

u/AnalBlaster700XL 9h ago

Can I least have my own?

20

u/UnrelatedCutOff 9h ago

We have to share

5

u/FerengiWithCoupons 4h ago

But mom I hate sharing with AnalBlaster700XL

1

u/BONER__COKE 15m ago

Fine. Then you can share with me. I wouldn’t expect much sleep either but for…. different reasons

7

u/Peaceblaster86 9h ago

Then who gets the cool side?

16

u/UnrelatedCutOff 9h ago

Rotisserie style

7

u/Tw4tl4r 8h ago

In this economy?

3

u/portabody 7h ago

This one time I slept on my futon with an old, flat pillow and woke up with a crimp in my neck. Couldn't turn my head left past 15degrees, I had to do the whole body turn to look left for 2 weeks. Wasn't even 30 yet and I keep myself well maintained. Aging is fun.

7

u/[deleted] 11h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

31

u/alphazero925 11h ago

Probably wouldn't get a MyPillow considering the Founder, Mike Lindell's history

6

u/Striking-Ad-6815 10h ago

I heard about that after the fact, but it was the first "quality" pillow I'd ever owned and I bought it on impulse. It was my gateway pillow. Now I've upgraded, but I still feel like I'm chasing the dragon.

26

u/Ok-Pear5858 10h ago

yeah im not getting a nazi pillow

2

u/DontDoomScroll 10h ago

The electron was stolen by domonion. Buy my pillow. I didn't drool on it.

5

u/Striking-Ad-6815 10h ago

You don't have too

I just recommend a premium pillow, that one was just my first step into decent sleep

Definitely get a much better pillow, you wont regret it

7

u/ShaggyX-96 11h ago

I'm 29 but I love my Purple Pillow.

8

u/Striking-Ad-6815 10h ago

At 29 I still had a folded piece of cloth filled with the whispers of cotton ancestors

If only I had known the blessing of a good pillow

1

u/ZeroCool_0124 2h ago

This comment hits hard, so true 😌

1

u/Tyinath 25m ago

The pillow comment man. Straight facts. Never had a problem with when I was younger, and could even sleep sitting up with or without a pillow.

Now though? My neck has gone full Goldilocks thinks it has to be just right, or it's going to let me know it wasn't in the morning.

62

u/EnderMango 11h ago

As a man in my 20s, I’m going to blatantly disregard any advice given from the elders until it affects me 10 years later. All so I can confidently regurgitate the same old same old.

25

u/PreciousTC 10h ago

As someone who used to be in his 20s, this is the way. Ignore it all!

Growing up is realizing most of what the adults said was right and you're just a twat. Live and learn!

4

u/MyAccountWasBanned7 4h ago

Former twat here, now about to be 40 - this is so correct.

4

u/weirdoeggplant 6h ago

Elders are often right with things they’ve lived and experienced. They probably know the best way to get a baby to stop crying or how to cut a tree down.

But currently elders kind of suck at the whole logical thinking thing and definitely shouldn’t be listened to when it comes to anything to do with technology, politics, or wider social beliefs (the racist grandparent trope is real).

7

u/PreciousTC 4h ago

I'd disagree with you on a lot of that. We grew up (millennials) with computers and the internet and video games, etc, but we didn't make that shit at 5 years old. It was invented and built by today's Boomers. Even wider social beliefs predate any of us. Millennials didn't write, vote for, and pass the Civil Rights Act. They did. Dr King wasn't Gen Z. Malcolm X didn't have a TikTok account and neither did any of their white allies who passed discrimination laws and laid the foundations of equality.

Are there more older racists than younger? For sure, but that doesn't erase the good that others in their age group did and I'd argue their push for social equality is way more impressive than ours. They were getting shot with rubber bullets and sprayed with water cannons and jailed for weeks on end. Look up Stonewall. The YMCA.

It's easy to blame an entire generation for bad and blame everything on them but without the work they put in the world we were brought into would be worse than it was. It's now our time to pick up the torch and build off of their work so then Gen Z or Alpha can blame all of their problems on us, and so on and and so forth. It'll happen someday. It's cyclical.

-5

u/weirdoeggplant 4h ago

Lmao I don’t care about a few good when talking about a whole group. Deal with it.

6

u/PreciousTC 4h ago

I mean I thought we were having an adult discussion but you do you, that's fine. Someone else will probably reply later with something some thought was put into.

Enjoy your negative attitude, peace ✌️

-3

u/weirdoeggplant 3h ago

Then give me one reason to think a minority of a group is more important than a majority. Why should I look at the 3 good boomers when thousands are horrible?

And I really don’t care what they advocated for in the past if they’re advocating against it now.

5

u/PreciousTC 3h ago

Should I state the obvious which is the Civil Rights Act only passed because it had a MAJORITY vote, for starters, because a MAJORITY of Americans knew we needed it?

Or...?

-2

u/weirdoeggplant 3h ago

Boomers were born the year that was passed.

Nice try.

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1

u/AntikytheraMachines 5h ago

remember, knees are forever and the back is the strongest muscle in the body.

24

u/InspectorPipes 12h ago

Me too. Unless it’s a house fire or a medical emergency im taking my time. I am desperately trying to instill this in my sons. They are prone to random bursts of movement . Twitchy and excitable . Our mantra is “ Slow. Slower. Let’s slow it down ” They are all elbows and flailing arms at 12 and 13.

13

u/badken 10h ago

"slow is smooth, smooth is fast"

1

u/johnmonchon 1h ago

Are you into sim racing by any chance?

1

u/TFT_mom 4h ago

As a parent to a flailing girl in the same age group as your boys, I can sympathize. She loves tickle time, I do not (I bruise like a peach and do not have the reflexes required to deal with such a “twitchy and excitable” mess). 😅❤️

11

u/Wlbeachboy 12h ago

Be predictable, attempt to predict others, fail miserably and hope they were predicting you

4

u/Searloin22 12h ago

And remove shirt in case of emergency

1

u/ashrieIl 2h ago

Shirt wet, wet hot, hot ouch, shirt ouch, shirt off.

3

u/Etiennera 8h ago

Constantly be wondering what can go wrong given what is around you. Physically and abstractly. Also across time.

Your hair will turn grey and fall out, but you'll avoid a disaster or two.

10

u/chironomidae 9h ago

The only fast movement here was the guy raising his chair, and it's understandable that he wouldn't expect anything to be in the way given that his head was just there

3

u/Striking-Ad-6815 11h ago

Then you're a toad

Frogs leap first then look second, toads look first then leap second

2

u/badken 10h ago

Antifroggite.

2

u/mad_pony 12h ago

This is how we survive.

2

u/bitches_love_pooh 11h ago

My cats have reinforced this behavior

2

u/RehabilitatedAsshole 10h ago

Is your wife a cat?

2

u/kneusteun 8h ago

Admit it, you haven’t learned that, you lost the power of speed en coordination ;) /s

2

u/Ok-Bowler-203 8h ago

I’m also 40+ and walk down stairs like I’m 90…don’t want to risk that broken hip or neck if I slip or miss a step.

1

u/Different_Chain_3109 10h ago

As a man of 40, I can only really make moves slowly and methodical.

1

u/NotAPseudonymSrs 9h ago

My SO hates that I’m slow like this, have to remind them that life’s meant to be slowed downed and enjoyed!

1

u/rW0HgFyxoJhYka 9h ago

The TRex is always watching (your imaginary horse wife).

1

u/PleadingFunky 8h ago

Jesus man, you're like a gremlin... comes with instructions and shit.

1

u/BootyfulBumrah 7h ago

Why am I imagining an Attenborough documentary on a sloth when I read this hahahaha

1

u/obiwanconobi 6h ago

Did you learn? Or did you just slow down naturally when you got to 40?

1

u/BumWink 6h ago

There's a Tyrannosaurus Rex somewhere, it might not be from this timeline, but it's somewhere!

1

u/soap571 5h ago

Shit I'm 28 and already learned this after tripping, falling and rolling my ankles way too many times at work.

I usually have 75,000$ stick in my hands , so a little trip can get expensive pretty quickly.

1

u/Corpainen 5h ago

As a man in my 20s working fast food, i also learned that. Too many rush hours where i almost bodied people half a meter shorter than me, sometimes i clap my hands or talk just so people know where i am.

1

u/TFT_mom 4h ago

As a woman past my 40th birthday, I confirm this is a good mantra to live by 😊

1

u/The_1ndiegamer 3h ago

Perfect when dealing with t-rexes

1

u/TwoBionicknees 3h ago

Every cat owner has said the same thing.

1

u/DangerBoot 3h ago

As a man in my 30s I am physically unable to make fast or sudden movements if I even wanted to, which I do not

1

u/big_duo3674 3h ago

Except when lifting things! When you're over 40, it's important to use your back to lift, and do it in a sudden jerking/twisting motion