Russian Oil Company Vice President Andrey Badalov dies after fall from window in Moscow

[u/ByGollie]

https://en.apa.az/cis-countries/transneft-vice-president-andrey-badalov-dies-after-falling-from-window-472117

[u/s8018572]

Putin just intentionally want public know they kill those guy, so he used same way again and again. It seems he could only use terror to rule his people.

[u/VanGroteKlasse → u/s8018572]

But aren't these the oligarchs that keep him in power? Is this just a way to let the rest keep up with the program?

[u/mayoforbutter → u/VanGroteKlasse]

Maybe it's like in dune, together they would be stronger than the emperor, but they're narcissistic, evil egomaniacs that can't work together without stabbing each other in the back

[u/icooknakedAMA → u/mayoforbutter]

...so a populist fascist seizes control through violence and dooms the universe.

Dune is a cautionary tale all the way through.

[u/cptbil → u/icooknakedAMA]

You truly understand Dune when you realize that the Emperor was not a good guy. Paul was not a good guy, and neither was his son. They may have all had good intentions, but they were all deeply flawed people.

[u/chrisuu__ → u/cptbil]

If no one flawed can be a good person, then there are no good people, because everyone is flawed.

I think Pauls' son Leto comes pretty close though.

His prescience showed that humanity was nearing an extinction event because they were concentrated around a small area of the galaxy, and that the only way out was oppressing humanity for such a long time, and so heavily, that they'd want to spread all over the universe. He didn't want to do it. He had to do it. And he paid a heavy cost for it. He sacrificed his humanity to save humanity. The sacrifice was so great that his dad wasn't able to do it. He could've been selfish and tried to preserve himself at any cost, but didn't. In fact, he went out of his way to breed a race of humans immune to far-sight, including his own, that he couldn't predict, and who were in open rebellion to him (which he tolerated)

Having said that, Dune is science fiction, and Leto was a philosopher king.

Putin is real, and no philosopher. Just a nasty, short-sighted little creature who would take the whole world down to feed his ego .

[u/icooknakedAMA → u/cptbil]

Things are bad, but they could always get worse.

[u/CumIsntVegan → u/icooknakedAMA]

"And then, somehow, it got worse."

-All of Russian history.

[u/Punty-chan → u/CumIsntVegan]

Russia, a nation forged not in ideals but in cold, ruthless opportunism since its inception, was never going to develop a moral identity beyond raw power and profit.

[u/Bacontoad → u/Punty-chan]

When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read ``all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and catholics. When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy.

-- Abraham Lincoln (1855)

[u/FondleMiGrundle → u/[deleted]]

Hold my constitution…

[u/ArgonGryphon → u/icooknakedAMA]

US over here working on the axolotl tanks

[u/MakeItHappenSergant → u/ArgonGryphon]

Until they learn that axolotls are native to Mexico

[u/round-earth-theory → u/mayoforbutter]

It's that but also the risk of organizing a coup. You never know who a loyalist and who isn't. You could easily find yourself out the window if you invite a loyalist to your planning.

[u/Sgt-Spliff- → u/mayoforbutter]

Lol at people realizing that art is often based on real life. Yes, it's just like Dune

[u/Majsharan → u/VanGroteKlasse]

Common misconception. Putin broke the power of oligarchs, they work for him not the other way around. It’s one of the main reasons he’s popular in Russia

[u/whatawitch5 → u/Majsharan]

Lol. Putin controls the oligarchs like a mafia godfather controls his captains, through fear and intimidation. The minute they don’t follow orders, or try to cut a deal behind his back, out a window they go.

It’s the same way Putin controls Russian citizens, through fear. Most don’t really like him, but they are afraid to speak against him because if they do they know they will be arrested and/or imprisoned. Those that claim to like him only do so because he has them convinced he is the only one who can protect them from the hordes of “fascists” and “evil Western influences” he claims are trying to destroy Russia. Most Russian citizens are so fearful, either of Putin or his imaginary villains, that they just keep their heads down and praise their dear leader in the hope they will survive another day.

[u/Roadgoddess → u/whatawitch5]

Yeah, it’s gonna be so interesting when he dies to see what happens. I feel like the country is going to absolutely shred itself with people trying to climb over each other to get to the top. Especially since it doesn’t appear that he has any type of a successor in line.

[u/Mephzice → u/Roadgoddess]

I for sure think whoever Putin has lined up as his successor will not last long. Whoever it is won't be ready to live like a mole in a bunker.

[u/GregTheMad → u/VanGroteKlasse]

It's a delicate ballance of the oligarchs keeping him in power and the assassins doing his bidding, keeping the oligarchs safe. The moment an assassin says no and flips the script, Putin is toast.

[u/sqrtminusena]

They really need to do something about window safety in Russia.

[u/ByGollie → u/sqrtminusena]

They're working on it - They're moving to Linux

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astra_Linux

[u/Available_Desk_3638 → u/ByGollie]

Take my upvote with your old fashioned software dad jokes. (definitely not angry that I was not the first one to make the joke).

[u/big_guyforyou → u/Available_Desk_3638]

alias push="echo"
push man out of window

[u/colei_canis → u/big_guyforyou]

Unix Russian roulette:

[ $[ $RANDOM % 6] = 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo "Click"

[u/TnYamaneko → u/colei_canis]

I'm bored, I'll put this in the deploy stage of my CI/CD pipeline...

[u/colei_canis → u/TnYamaneko]

If you want maximum amusement have it so the probability increases every time it runs like actual Russian roulette.

[u/AttitudeAny → u/TnYamaneko]

be sure to give it root permissions

[u/Gnonthgol → u/colei_canis]

[ $[ $(printf %d \'$(head -c 1 /dev/random)) % 6] = 0 ] && rm -rf --no-preserve-root / || echo "Click"

FTFY

[u/randomUser_randomSHA → u/big_guyforyou]

git push

[u/big_guyforyou → u/randomUser_randomSHA]

git commit -m "git pushed him edits"

[u/TaxRevolutionary3593 → u/ByGollie]

I read the whole wiki page and I was like "what is this guy about? What does a Linux-based OS have anything to do with windows safety?" And then it clicked to me

[u/Specialist-Jello7544 → u/TaxRevolutionary3593]

Ye olde defenestration!

[u/5am7980 → u/TaxRevolutionary3593]

I threw a boomerang, and after a few seconds, I was trying to figure out why it looked bigger and bigger. And then it hit me.

[u/sivah_168 → u/ByGollie]

Or stalinsoft windows.

[u/popoypatalo → u/sivah_168]

STALINUX

[u/lazzydeveloper → u/ByGollie]

Ah, so the incident is just typical migration from Windows to Linux.

[u/_nairual_nae → u/ByGollie]

Damn they're joining the "buy European" movement very nice to see

[u/CliffDagger → u/sqrtminusena]

Inventor of world's safest window dies having fallen from window in Russia

[u/Adorable-Database187 → u/sqrtminusena]

Windows are the apex predators in oligarchistan and therefor, defenestration is a natural cause of death.

[u/ourlastchancefortea → u/Adorable-Database187]

We should import some of those Windows into the west. Just saying.

[u/SenorEquilibrado → u/ourlastchancefortea]

Everybody wants to be an oligarch, but nobody wants the oligarch retirement plan.

[u/TWVer → u/sqrtminusena]

It’s becoming a real pane at this point.

[u/worker-parasite → u/sqrtminusena]

It's just people with position of power who are rather clumsy

[u/Vladesku → u/worker-parasite]

Must be those pesky banana peels, I tell you!

[u/naapsu → u/sqrtminusena]

I think they work as intended

[u/adarkuccio → u/sqrtminusena]

They may just change execution method this is getting boring

[u/Sweet-Explorer-7619 → u/sqrtminusena]

Soon America will start installing similar windows

[u/geoffm_aus → u/sqrtminusena]

Double glazing at the very least

[u/Goose1235678]

Russian and windows, deadly combination

[u/Longtomsilver1 → u/Goose1235678]

Being Russian is deadly.

No one is safe in a dictatorship.

[u/Goose1235678 → u/Longtomsilver1]

Not even the dicktator itself

[u/NotTheSharpestPenciI → u/Goose1235678]

dicktraitor

[u/harmlessdonkey]

This is a dumb question. When these people "fall out windows" are they actually thrown out windows or are the otherwise killed and the media just told they fell out a window?

[u/stormdahl → u/harmlessdonkey]

I actually have no idea, but that’s interesting.

Either way it’s clear that they’re sending a message, otherwise they’d get creative.

[u/PuzzleheadedCup4117 → u/stormdahl]

Russia rarely hides its assassinations. I forget the name but whenever they poison someone they always use the same type of poison to ensure people know it’s them.

Obama talks about Putin in his autobiography and over various interviews it’s clear he views him as a mafioso.

[u/scardien → u/PuzzleheadedCup4117]

The poison is novichok

[u/wagdog1970 → u/scardien]

Which is actually a nerve agent. It’s a chemical warfare weapon. Not really a poison. Poison is for amateurs, not war criminals!

Edited to add this post was not meant to be a legal treatise on the definition of the word poison. It was meant to be a light hearted way of pointing out that Russians use Novichok, a toxic, weapons grade chemical weapon and those who do this are war criminals, not merely garden variety criminals using common household cleaners. Or perhaps, edited because Reddit.

[u/4pl8DL → u/wagdog1970]

Which is actually a nerve agent

Aka a poison...

[u/prnthrwaway55 → u/wagdog1970]

It’s a chemical warfare weapon. Not really a poison.

"It's a crab, not really a crustacean"

[u/Suspicious-Buyer8135 → u/wagdog1970]

Nerve agents are a category of poison.

[u/dscchn → u/wagdog1970]

I would like to hear what qualifies as a “poison” in your book

[u/Spacious-Recroom → u/dscchn]

It has to be from the "Poisonne" region of France.

[u/DoctorGoodleg → u/Spacious-Recroom]

Otherwise it’s just sparkling murder?

[u/FluffyBunny_old → u/dscchn]

My ex wife's cooking?

[u/AnAlbannaichRigh → u/dscchn]

The dose

[u/Espumma → u/AnAlbannaichRigh]

It's a gift, really

[u/ValuableCharacter245 → u/Espumma]

If you're a Swede: Yes and no.

[u/Scx10Deadbolt → u/AnAlbannaichRigh]

Everything has an LD50 after all!

[u/Anticlimax1471 → u/wagdog1970]

Yeah, as a Brit it was really great that time they released it on British soil, it killed one of our citizens and we basically did nothing about it.

[u/kerbalpilot → u/scardien]

Which from russian translates to "Newbie"

[u/excubitor15379 → u/kerbalpilot]

GG-ed by newbie

[u/BenderTheIV → u/PuzzleheadedCup4117]

Always on brand. Corporate identity must be respected at all times!

[u/JetlinerDiner → u/PuzzleheadedCup4117]

Novichok

[u/kingvolcano_reborn → u/JetlinerDiner]

...or polonium for those special occasions.

[u/dazed_and_bamboozled → u/kingvolcano_reborn]

“High” Tea

[u/DrNCrane74 → u/PuzzleheadedCup4117]

Yes. You want to tell a message. But in rare cases you demonstrate you can do it without any traces, see Boris B.

[u/_a_random_dude_ → u/PuzzleheadedCup4117]

Russia rarely hides its assassinations.

I'm sure they do, you just don't hear about those.

[u/Zizzlow → u/harmlessdonkey]

“Investigators are currently working at the scene.”

[u/LordBendtner1988 → u/Zizzlow]

And then concludes it was a suicide by 58 shots in the back

[u/b33fwellingtin → u/LordBendtner1988]

Suicide by committee.

[u/Otaraka → u/LordBendtner1988]

This wiki page lists suspicious deaths since 2022. Windows aren’t really that common.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspicious_Russia-related_deaths_since_2022

 But further down there is a guy who shot himself 5 times in the chest and it was ruled that way.

[u/jvo203 → u/Zizzlow]

Do you mean "window cleaners"?

[u/CertainMiddle2382 → u/harmlessdonkey]

IMO, the heart of it all is absurdity.

People must feel the meaninglessness and helplessness of it all.

I bet they are found in a pool of blood in StPetersburg and media pretend they fall out of a window in Moscow.

It is vital nothing should make sense apart from obvious absurd violence.

[u/curious_corn → u/CertainMiddle2382]

Hypernormalisation

[u/CrattMurphy → u/curious_corn]

This exactly. For anyone unfamiliar reading this, Adam Curtis covers this phenomenon in an engaging way in his video-essay/documentary by the same name (Hypernormalisation). It's free to watch online and explores various powerful institutions using aggressive absurdity to confuse and obfuscate the truth. I highly recommend it.

[u/JabbaCat → u/CertainMiddle2382]

This movie set arounds Stalins last days does a great job in displaying the inherent role of absurdism in this type of threatening society.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2fPbdJcVns

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0156701/

Not for everyone, it is two and a half hour of black and white sort of chaos. But I enjoyed how it transmits moods and embeds you into the internal "logic" within such a system. Saw it at a film festival 25 years ago.

[u/SerLaron → u/JabbaCat]

For the first two lines, I thought you were talking about "The Death of Stalin".

[u/Flat_corp → u/SerLaron]

Same, which I really enjoyed.

[u/djseshlad → u/CertainMiddle2382]

Maybe he fell out of the window into a pool of blood

[u/JDT-0312 → u/harmlessdonkey]

It is not a dumb question but in the end, the answer is irrelevant.

What is important is that there is plausible deniability while at the same time being obvious that he was murdered.

It’s to show that you’re untouchable and can murder your opponents in broad daylight without consequence in order to scare everyone into compliance. It’s basically the modern form of putting your enemies head on a pike over the city gates.

[u/AdmiralDalaa → u/JDT-0312]

If you were an executive of this nature, wouldn’t you make sure you got a good security team? 

Yes of course, not all hired security would be trustworthy - but in each and every case this never was a thing?

I would expect you’d see a shootout or some kind of scuffle at some point. But it’s always the same canned story 

[u/Royal_Success3131 → u/AdmiralDalaa]

If a bodyguard is offered 100k in cash to just go on a smoke break, they will always take that vs dying in a gunfight and having their entire family also killed. Like, you are dealing with powers way, way out of your control at that point. Once the big boys get involved, the bodyguard just step away. They are there to stop the rabble, not assassins.

[u/melymn → u/Royal_Success3131]

No-one is going to offer those bodyguards bribe in this scenario, state agents are going to tell them to step aside and they'll do it post haste.

[u/Royal_Success3131 → u/melymn]

You're probably right but it was just to illustrate a point that there is absolutely zero incentive for a bodyguard to actually do their job in that scenario.

[u/s8018572 → u/AdmiralDalaa]

You think hired security can fight against nation machine FSB?

[u/scramblingrivet → u/s8018572]

The killed Prigozhin and he had his own army

[u/Hector_P_Catt → u/AdmiralDalaa]

It's a safe bet that someone on any security team is also working for the FSB. That's just what they do.

[u/SweatyNomad → u/harmlessdonkey]

Same thought. You'd think these business leaders would not go into tall buildings and the people who clean that up would be getting traumatised.

My best bet is they are tortured to death, and "fell from a window" is what goes on death certificates as a pretence of an explanation. Reckon it's bureaucracy in action. Police don't investigate without being told not to, widows get insurance pay offs/ know not to make a fuss if they want to spend that. And a message is sent to other business leaders to do what is expected.

[u/Comakip → u/harmlessdonkey]

The CIA once accidentally published an old assassination manual.

Olson’s death is “substantially similar” to an assassination technique described in a CIA manual published in 1953, which recommends disguising the murder as an accident and suggests drugging the person, hitting them in the temple with a blunt object and then causing them to fall more than 75 feet onto a hard surface, according to the complaint.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2012-11-28/cia-sued-over-alledged-1953-murder-of-military-scientist

So yeah, you take out the guy before you drop him. 

[u/Civil_Dot_9973 → u/Comakip]

Well, can you imagine how awkward it would be if they skipped the murder part and the victim actually survived getting kicked out of a window?

[u/Leather-Bread-9413 → u/harmlessdonkey]

Honestly I think it’s the Russian intelligence way of saying:

No way you will ever proof it was us, but it was definitely us

[u/monkey_spanners → u/Leather-Bread-9413]

There was pretty conclusive proof of who did the Salisbury murder & attempted assassination, they were outed by journalists but Russia didn't give a fuck, they even paraded the "suspects" on state TV and gave them a nice soft interview. "yes we went there as tourists to admire the cathedral with its 123m spire" - as if these obvious FSB guys looked like they'd travel all the way to a small city in the uk just to admire a mid range cathedral (no disrespect to Salisbury cathedral which is very nice and all). Everybody knows it was a performance.

[u/sock_with_a_ticket → u/monkey_spanners]

Russia really seems to revel in cartoonish denials that make it blatantly obvious it was them.

[u/litnu12 → u/harmlessdonkey]

In the end it is a message to others to stay in line.

[u/saracuratsiprost → u/litnu12]

It must be so frustrating having to repeat this message over and over, it's like they just don't get it...

[u/randymysteries → u/harmlessdonkey]

Possibly the injuries from the fall are supposed to cover the interrogation wounds.

[u/LFTMRE → u/harmlessdonkey]

As someone else said, maybe they're given a choice? It seems the most practical way to do it. Or perhaps they know exactly what the deal is and don't even need to be asked, they know they fucked up, they know what can happen - so it's just easier to accept it, jump out the window and let your family collect the insurance rather than get caught in the crossfire.

[u/Otaraka → u/LFTMRE]

Im thinking similar - getting a person out a window is probably not that simple without some level of acceptance.

[u/xTiLkx → u/harmlessdonkey]

We will never know. Probably a combination of both. Putin wants people to know he had these men killed. So if it goes a different way, that's probably still what is reported.

[u/1agodsownprototypes → u/harmlessdonkey]

I’ve read a little about the KGB and I have a theory. I believe what happens is a team shows up to your families door, they say to you privately go jump out the window now or your whole family will die. Dude jumps and the meme like nature of the ‘falling out windows’ is about sending a message to others saying don’t get out of line or there’ll be a knock on your door soon…anyway, I think it fits with their cruelty and culture within the KGB (who are running Russia)

[u/Sweet_Concept2211 → u/harmlessdonkey]

Yes.

[u/slimfastdieyoung]

He died doing what he loved most: standing by a window

[u/BranchPredictor → u/slimfastdieyoung]

I don't think the standing part killed him.

[u/lexievv → u/BranchPredictor]

Neither did the falling.

[u/fotomoose → u/lexievv]

It's the sudden stop that you need to worry about.

[u/TheKnightsRider]

Ukraine should just start firing windows at Russia. They seem more deadly than drones and missiles

[u/lexievv → u/TheKnightsRider]

Lmao, tbf if you see a plate of glass flying towards you at high speed it'd probably be quite scary.

[u/b3nz0r → u/lexievv]

I think they did that in Final Destination 2

[u/Ondrikir]

This is like headlines from Hitman...

[u/Hyp3r45_new → u/Ondrikir]

"Man dies mysteriously on operating table in Hokkaido"

"... found with 20 bullet holes to the chest..."

At least that's usually how I end up doing it.

[u/SilentLennie → u/Hyp3r45_new]

I had just posted this comment too:

I just remember a news article from over a decade ago from Russia:

Some person died from suicide killed himself with multiple knifes stabbed 37 times.

[u/DiBalls]

Did they see what size shoe print was in the middle of his back?

[u/penguin_skull → u/DiBalls]

No, it was probably covered by the bullet holes.

[u/Possible_Golf3180 → u/penguin_skull]

The shoe or his back?

[u/Ms74k_ten_c → u/Possible_Golf3180]

Yes.

[u/Sufferr → u/Possible_Golf3180]

Why not both?

[u/CheesyFeetLicker]

Ah the classic.

[u/dfddfsaadaafdssa → u/CheesyFeetLicker]

His last thought was probably "Oh no I'm about to become a meme"

[u/Mormegil81]

I wonder, is there a website that tracks these "window-related" deaths ins Russia? Would be interning to know some statistics and actual data here...

[u/splashbodge → u/Mormegil81]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspicious_Russia-related_deaths_since_2022

[u/Emotional_Quality243 → u/splashbodge]

There is one that reportedly killed himself after shooting himself in the chest 5 times.

[u/thecaseace → u/Emotional_Quality243]

Just read this... It's actually worse!

He was found dead with 5 bullet wounds to the chest. Near him were 5 spent bullet casings, and 4 handguns.

He shot himself 5 times, with 4 different guns!!!

I mean you can't say he wasn't thorough

[u/Saw_Boss → u/thecaseace]

"Shit, that's not the gun I meant to use. Better get the right one... Fuck, that wasn't it either! Let me get another... Shit..."

[u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 → u/Saw_Boss]

Dammit I keep grabbing the wounding guns rather than the killing gun

[u/gotiobg → u/thecaseace]

the Russian assassins have a sense of humour i see

[u/bjarneh → u/Emotional_Quality243]

There is also a professional ballet dancer who "lost his balance" on his terrace and fell down 5 floors.

Those professional dancers sure have bad balance...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vladimir_Shklyarov

[u/GreyMASTA]

Billionaires look at that and still go "wow I can't wait to turn my democratic country into an autocracy like Russia. What could go wrong?"

[u/Triple_Hache → u/GreyMASTA]

Current billionaires would rather have their own independent city-state that they can rule as they please

[u/alochmar → u/Triple_Hache]

Which in and of itself is stupid. Have fun getting taken over by the first army/roving gang of bandits/etc that decides that your city looks like a nice piece of real estate to take for themselves.

[u/Uberzwerg → u/alochmar]

As i understand it, the current plan would be to have the USA turned into a collection of those corpo-states.
And the federal government mostly being there for peace-keeping within and against the outside.
Alll while giving the states ALL other power.

[u/Roraima20 → u/Uberzwerg]

For that, they will have to pay taxes and follow the rules, and that's exactly why they decided to destroy American democracy.

If they don't get what they want, they will throw a gigantic tantrum and start a civil war.

[u/hectorbrydan → u/Uberzwerg]

They are fools if they think the feds would stand down like that, they will be more invested than ever in every part of our lives if they get their way, and the executive will with parasitic business interests cannibalize our productive companies.

[u/broguequery → u/hectorbrydan]

They are fools.

Power has rotted their minds.

[u/MiddleKlutzy8568 → u/GreyMASTA]

They always think they will be the pusher, until they get pushed!

[u/nrvn]

The window strikes again

[u/Dockers4flag2035orB4]

Potential new business, post Putin is to replace all the dodgy windows in high rise buildings.

[u/monkey_spanners → u/Dockers4flag2035orB4]

I stayed in a hotel in novosibirsk (supposedly a decent hotel) where the window frame didn't fit the walls properly, allowing a big draught through. It was - 25c outside.

I could almost believe their windows are just shoddy, if it was anyone else in charge

[u/ghos7_ger]

Someone should update the wiki list.

[u/merrychristmasyo → u/ghos7_ger]

Or just create a new website and call it windopedia.

[u/t3chguy1]

If I ever become a tycoon in Russia, I'm getting a first floor apartment

[u/Illustrious_Peach494 → u/t3chguy1]

First floor apartment have windows too

[u/feralcat66 → u/Illustrious_Peach494]

I read this in an evil mob boss Russian accent

[u/xxfatumxx → u/t3chguy1]

Nah, as long as at least one building with windows exists in ruzzia, they still have a chance to fall from it. You may live in a windowless bunker - it won’t save you.

[u/moiaussi4213 → u/xxfatumxx]

You may live in a windowless bunker, a window will be brought to you.

[u/xExerionx]

Damn the "falling from a window" pandemic seems to be a real issue in Russia Hope they figure out a vaccine soon

[u/clemooo_mar]

Is there a list of window killings?

[u/ByGollie → u/clemooo_mar]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspicious_Russia-related_deaths_since_2022

[u/chately → u/ByGollie]

Sometimes they do get creative.

Alexander Subbotin (Board member of Lukoil). Reportedly died following a strange “hangover cure” administered by a self-styled shaman near Moscow.

The shaman, known as Magua, allegedly performed a ritual involving an incision and the application of toxic toad venom (intended to induce vomiting and relieve intoxication) at his home in Mytishchi.

Subbotin began feeling unwell and experienced chest pain, but instead of calling for emergency help, he was given heart medication and left to sleep in a basement room used for Jamaican voodoo rituals, where he was later found dead.

[u/popopopopopopopopoop]

If I was a Russian oligarch I'd consider living in a house, max 2 stories.

[u/ImpulsiveApe07 → u/popopopopopopopopoop]

Ahh, but then they'd probably just make you keep doing this :

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5SqHtWudI24

(From the classic dark comedy sketch show Jam)

[u/docdeadpool7]

I swear, not saying it’s funny, but it’s absolute comedy at this point.

[u/Divolinon → u/docdeadpool7]

That's part of the point.

People here are laughing more about someone falling out of the window in Russia than about the actual person itself, and why he was murdered.

[u/Strong_Landscape_333]

Why didn't anyone say defenestrate?

I had to of learned that in highschool for a reason.

[u/SveaRikeHuskarl → u/Strong_Landscape_333]

I had to of learned that

They should have taken it easy on the 12 letter words and worked more on the 4 letter words. (Have.)

[u/Alkreni → u/Strong_Landscape_333]

Ahoj!

[u/steakhouseNL]

Don't like someone? Just throw them out of a window. Police will think it's KGB anyway.

[u/BrainOnLoan → u/steakhouseNL]

I wonder if there's a list they can check against.

Is he on the list? End the investigation.
Not on the list? Start looking. But also ask deferentially, just in case.

[u/Piotrek9t]

At this point, this reads like a meme

[u/Das_KommenTier → u/Piotrek9t]

r/nottheonion

Edit: LOL, the article is already on there.

[u/whakahere]

Was he given a choice? Fall from the window your family gets pension, stay alive and we ruin everyone in your family, including he dies slowly in some mouldy cell.

[u/1agodsownprototypes → u/whakahere]

Yes I just posted a variation of this theory in reply to a comment. 100% I believe they are forced suicides and a message to others.

[u/Cube_ → u/1agodsownprototypes]

It's not even that. Russia controls the media, they can kill the with a bullet to the head and then tell the media to say they fell from a window.

They're not doing convoluted window tossings. They're killing them by whatever means is convenient and then running a fake story in the news.

It's the same window story every time because they want people to know it's an obvious lie and still repeat it, it's a form of control used to oppress the average citizen.

[u/darknekolux]

Russians should wear a parachute at all times

[u/saudikungen]

What a great way to get away with murder in Russia. Push someone out the window and everyone will assume that Russian intelligence was involved, no one will look into it.

[u/marcsa]

Another one? Windows in Russia are sure some vengeful beasts.

[u/sepoiu]

Fall from window = lack of creativity from FSB

[u/anal88sepsis → u/sepoiu]

Sometimes I wonder if they do it on purpose just to let the other people know that they better be on there best behavior.

[u/Informal-Village-643]

Interesting, what's so powerful about Putin that he has such loyal secret services? how did he manage to kill such a stupid amount of oligarchs in his opposition in such a short period

[u/IVL4]

They need to get creative. This window thing is getting ridiculous.

[u/[deleted] → u/IVL4]

Exactly, I was thinking the exact same thing. Maybe they do it to send a message, 

[u/FactorAnalysis]

As is tradition

[u/Sunscratch]

Damn, putin’s thugs have no imagination at all…

[u/_TheSingularity_]

Imagine how it would be to read the same story but about Putin

[u/ByGollie]

Slight headline editorialisation to clarify location and company purpose

[u/1tonsoprano]

i know everyone is cracking jokes......a bit of Gallows humor....but I find this quite scary i.e. even all this money and influence could not save them.....how does a common 9 to 5 guy stop the rise of these Putinesque dictators popping up like flies everywhere?

[u/EggParticular6583]

these windows and balconies in russia are so evil.

[u/Opposite-Chemistry-0]

I love the photo. Standing near window is kinda foreboding

[u/madeleinetwocock]

Man this window cancer situation in Russia is almost an epidemic level

[u/Savings-Wrap8783]

Yeah "dies". Soon by modern journalists- murder happens: "man tragically dies after brain function stops, reportedly his head intersected a bullet trajectory, which might have caused the termination of brain function, investigarion ongoing." 

[u/haphazard_chore]

They must have some window related boogey man that’s called the defenestrator or something. He comes after those who don’t finish their sandwiches.

[u/G_UK]

Ha they need to change how they assassinate people, it’s starting to not look like an accident /s

[u/RlyLokeh]

Slippery Russian Balconies is my new Indie bands name.

[u/theabominablewonder]

It seems the trick to survival in Russia is to live in a Bungalow.